Chapter 28: Magic Boot Camp
Celestia's cruel sun took it upon itself to punish the lavender mare for her frivolous consumption of alcohol the night before. After Curt left, Twilight feared the worst, and her mind invented stories of him leaving, never to be seen again. Her solution came in the form of the Apple family’s own brand of apple brandy. Now, though, that evil golden orb was trying to make her head explode.
“Knock, knock,” came the familiar voice of a certain solar princess, “How are you feeling this morning?”
Twilight's response was to roll over and purge her stomach into the bucket quickly conjured by the Princess. Celestia sat beside her student and rubbed her back until she finished. After a few moments, Twilight rolled back over and threw her hoof over her eyes.
“Princess,” Twilight peaked one bloodshot eye out from under her hoof to glare at Celestia, “I really hate your sun right now.”
Celestia giggled, “With how much you drank, I'm sure. Here, drink this.” She levitated a cup to the purple unicorn.
Twilight sat up and took the offered beverage. “Couldn't you have been late to raise the sun today?” The unicorn downed the mystery drink in one gulp. “Gah, that's nasty.”
“Twilight, in the past seven hundred five thousand two hundred seventeen days, I have only been late raising my sun once, and that was because I was bound by Nightmare Moon. I'm not going to ruin my record just because my student decided to overindulge.”
“Well, at least that stuff works.” Twilight sat up, her head much less angry, though still pounding. “Uh...” Twilight looked around her room more and more urgently. “Where's my leg?”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
“Don't worry Twilight,” Celestia assured her student as they they made their way from the dining hall to the gardens, “They'll find it any moment now. There's only so many places it could be.”
“If ya didn't drink so dern much this wouldn't be a problem, now would it?” Applejack scolded the unicorn.
Twilight just groaned as she hobbled after them on three legs. Celestia had sent a dozen guards to comb the palace for the missing limb, but had thus far found nothing. It didn't help that Rainbow Dash had been laughing nonstop. Applejack got on her about it until Dash argued that it was Twilight's own fault for getting sloshed. Even Twilight couldn't fault her on her reasoning.
After whatever it was Princess Celestia gave her and a hearty breakfast, Twilight's head lost its homicidal urges and settled into a manageable throb. That, combined with a pair of sunglasses, Rainbow let her borrow, made the hellfire ball called the sun tolerable. Twilight plopped down on a cushion and groaned.
“If I ever try drinking that much again, everyone here has permission to beat me into unconsciousness.” Twilight rubbed her temple forgetting she was missing a leg, and face planted. She lay there for a moment with an indignant expression. “Fuck my life.”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Twilight was in the lounge, sucking down her fourth cigarette strait. Since Christmas, she smoked one or two a day at most, depending on stress. Now, though, stress was the minor issue. It wasn't just that Xander was back, but that he was stronger. The only pony with stronger shield spells than her was Shining Armor, but he shattered it without much effort. Then there was the fact that in all her research, she never heard of the Dratali using magic like that. Bringing others back from the dead was kinda detrimental to their goal...
Unless they need him specifically, but that would mean they already knew about me. Either that or...Celestia, I hope not.
There was only one other reason they would resurrect him, and it was very, very bad. Unfortunately it was also the most likely, and was the reason behind her sudden bout of chain smoking. Speaking of which, finding nothing but a butt in her mouth, Twilight incinerated it and lit a fifth.
“Yo, Twilight,” Debby walked in, “Damn, girl, you look like shit. You still worried about that Xander guy?”
“I'm going to need more cigarettes.” Twilight held out her pack showing only three left.
Debby sighed, “Remind me to kill Curt for getting you on those things.”
“Hay, blame Raak,” Curt said as he came up behind her, “He's the one that broke her heart. He could have done her a favor and boinked her brains out. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Seth wants everyone in the firing range, now.”
“Alright, come on, Pony Girl.”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
Twilight was noticeably more relaxed. She knew why they were meeting. It was time for her to engage in her second favorite pass-time... Teaching! Not just teaching, but teaching the first human mages in two thousand years. She's taught unicorns like Sweetie Belle and even Rarity, but this is a once in an eternity occasion.
“Alright,” Twilight began, “The first thing you need to learn to do is gather mana. I'm going to use my own magic to help guide you. First, because you already called your magic, Curt.” She walked up to him and placed her horn on his stomach. “Close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling.”
He did as he was told. Twilight used her own magic like a magnet; drawing his up, as she slid her horn across his chest and then down his right arm. When her horn got to his hand, it began to glow with a blue aura. He opened his eyes and looked at the now glowing appendage...Twilight smiled with satisfaction.
“Good, now try to do it yourself, while I show Debby.”
Twilight repeated the exercise with everyone else, until only Raak was left. She gulped and blushed at the prospect of touching the blue hunk, but was able to compose herself into a more professional mindset. Twilight's horn mimicked the same pattern, until she came to his hand. Something was strange. As she tried to bring the magic to the surface, it stopped. She scrunched up her face and tried a little harder, but the result was the same.
“Huh, strange,” Twilight's pondered as she released her hold on his mana, “...your magic won't come to the surface. Well, I did say it reminds me of an earth pony, and now I know why. Your magic is internal. Perhaps it's because of your limited human ancestry... We'll find out later.” She gave him a sly grin, “Maybe I can...experiment on you tonight.” The Korg gave a light chuckle, knowing that she's just picking on him...even though she would love to make it happen. “I suppose you could just try moving it around. Push it through your arms, legs, and head.”
Twilight looked back at the others. Curt had a steady, if faint, aura, Seth and Aden's auras were flickering and sparking green and yellow respectively, and Debby looked like she was just constipated. Twilight laughed a little - it reminded her of Sweetie Belle.
“Debby, relax,” she instructed, “Think about flying. Do you strain yourself, or just focus and let it come to you? That's how you do it.”
“Think of flying, gotcha.” Debby visibly relaxed and a slight smile graced her lips.
“Whoa!” Twilight exclaimed in awe. Not only were her hands glowing with a faint magenta light, but the same ethereal wings from before spread majestically from her back.
After a few more minutes, Seth and Aden also had a steady aura going. “Well, I think we can begin with a simple spell now. We'll start with telekinesis, the first spell any foal learns. Watch how I do this.” Twilight lit up her horn and levitated a wrench she brought just for this. “Okay, do you think you can do that?”
The others looked at her confused.
“Uh, what exactly did you do?” Seth asked, “All we could tell was your horn glowed and the wrench moved.”
“You couldn't see it? But human magic is the same as unicorn magic. Even the least talented foals can see the spell matrix.” Twilight thought for a moment. “Well, I did teach a dragon mage how to use his magic, so I think I can still work with this.” Twilight focused and lit up her horn again. In front of her, several threads of magic appeared and weaved into a simple pattern. “This is what the matrix looks like. Now try to weave your magic in the same pattern and hold it, then focus on the object you want to move and will it to rise. Raak, I'm going to teach you a strengthening spell. It's internal, so even earth ponies can do it. In fact, my friend Applejack can do it, and she'll even tell you she's no scholar.”
After about three and a half hours, everyone was lifting an object, however awkwardly. Likewise, Raak was lifting about thirty five percent more than what he normally could. They practiced until the day was at an end. Curt was able to move a hammer in simple patterns like squares and triangles, while Seth and Aden were able to adjust height and distance easily enough. Debby was still struggling to keep her screwdriver off the deck.
After a long day of training, everyone relaxed for a while in the lounge talking.
“And that's how we defeated King Bongo,” Twilight finished.
“That was by far the most amazing story I've ever heard,” Curt said.
“Yeah,” Debby agreed, “That guy's just...wow.”
“You're gonna have to tell that one again some time,” Seth spoke up, “But for now, we need to hit the sack. We're going to be entering Alliance space tomorrow and we'll need to give our report. Twilight, this means you're going to have to tell everything you know about Xander.” Twilight just nodded.
“Hey, Twilight. I just thought of something,” Curt said, “What was in that box James gave you?”
“What box? Oh crap,” Twilight asked before facehoofing hard.
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
“Piece of advice,” Twilight told her audience, “Facehoofing with a metal hoof is not a good idea... Speaking of which, where hell is my damn leg?”
“Be patent, Twilight,” Applejack said.
“Easy for you to say. You aren't waiting on a body part.”
“Touché.”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
“Found it!” Twilight exclaimed, her voice sounding nasally through the tissue being held to her nose.
The little white box floated through the air and landed on the bed. Twilight took a deep breath and slowly started opening the box. Everyone stared on. They were excited and nervous at the same time. The last one lead them to getting magical powers, so it stands to reason that this one will have something just as amazing. Something like... A souvenir? It was a gold painted crown, with a purple glass star mounted on a wooden plaque.
“What the hell is that suppose to be?” Curt asked.
“It's...my element,” Twilight explained, sounding confused, “Well a replica. My friends and I are kind of celebrities, and Rainbow Dash thought it would be a good idea to start a souvenir line for some extra income. Why would James give me this?”
Seth looked in the box and pulled out a note. “Twilight, he included a letter. You want me to read it?” Twilight nodded. “When everything is at its darkest, and all hope seems lost, remember how you first obtained the Element of Magic. The bond of friendship makes you strong. The closer the bond you have, the stronger you will be. Rely on your friends and you'll never have to go it alone.”
“What the flying fuck is that suppose to mean?” Debby shouted indignantly, “I didn't even know he could be that sappy.”
“If it's from him, though, it's probably enchanted or something,” Curt offered.
“Coming from him it could just be a decoration,” Twilight commented, “He is a Chaos Lord after all.”
“Whatever it is, we'll find out when we find out,” Seth chimed in, “For now, it's lights out. Get to your racks. We have a busy day tomorrow.”
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---
The sound of fluttering wings interrupted Twilight's tale. The three legged pony was relieved to see a familiar metal object draped across the guard's back.
“Oh, thank goddess!” Twilight flung her front hoof around the unsuspecting pegasus in a thankful hug. “Where was it?” Twilight levitated it off his back and reattached the limb.
“On the roof of the central tower,” He answered.
The guard was the only one without confusion written all over his face. The others looked at the limb then to the tall tower and back.
“Twilight...” Celestia spoke up, “Exactly how much did you drink last night.”
Twilight facehoofed with a resounding clang of metal on skull.
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It has updated! Oh the joy
Face, meet Hoof. Hoof, meet Face. You two are going to be working closely together!
First !good chapter
moustache: moustache: moustache:
Wow, just how much alcohol can one mare take without dying? I mean, a human is considered to be lethally intoxicated at 3-5 per mil...
Twilight was drunk, Twilight was drunk, everyone better run away cause Twilight is drunk! *hums "Popeye" theme*
Is it bad that I actually heard a small *crack* sound inside my head when I read the part with Twilight faceplanting... And then my nose started to hurt... Damn symphatic reaction!
2136318 And when the hoof is metal, they won't get along.
´That made my evenining good sir!
2136345
It would take alot more alcohol to get a horse drunk, maybe less for a pony, so we can't use the human scale for this.
2136399
I'll answer with a simpler answer than numbers.
She had WAY TOO MUCH.
2136465 I hear ya. You know when I first started reading this I thought it was one of her back legs that was lost
but then I read a part that made me think otherwise, but this chapter finally confirmed it.
didn't she just get done saying the facehoofing with a metal limb was a bad idea? lol
2136371 Like me and my parents? And seriously, after she just told them not to facehoof with metal legs?
2136567 Really
How would having a computer and knife in it work if it were a back leg? Oh well, as long as it's cleared up I guess, right. It's her front right.
2136608>>2136610
It takes some hard-core determination to get that wasted. Geez, Twi.
Again, A Great Chapter.
Twilight:
*Clank*
"Let me demonstrate you the sound of metal limb meeting flesh bodypart."
"And that was also the sound of a small concussion that will allow me to fall unconscious now." *thump*
RD:
"Yeah, I think we can see now why that isn't a good idea."
Great chapter as always
Well Twi at least you still have the rest of your body parts intact, for now
2136608 Facehoofing with a back leg would be even worse.
You should have named this Magic Kindergarten
So what is her leg equipped with?
We need more Debby and Rainbow Dash fun!
2137221 A knife and a computer/datapad... that you know of
2137298
She needs an emergency pistol with 10 shots,
and a locating beacon
2136345
2136399
Horses get drunk faster than humans as far as alcohol versus blood content due to their livers not being able to process alcohol as well.
2136354
I got a nosebleed about a minute after reading that too.
2136318 Can someone say sitcom?
The human forehead is very strong, I dented an elevator door with mine.
How strong is a pony's forehead?
2137802
wait really? You have to tell me that story
2137848 it was a bet in high school with rewards. I had to dent or break an object with my head for an agreed amount of money. I got $50 for denting 2 lockers, $50 for an earthquake proof wall (turns out it wasn't Blue Streak proof), and $100 for denting the elevator door (I got a slight concussion that). And that's how I made $200 in two day. I don't recommend doing any of this unless you have a good pain tolerance.
But little did Twilight know that the alcohol had wormed its way into her metal leg, causing it to disengage itself and come alive. Afterwards, it climbed up the tower and ran out of power on the roof.
And that's how Applejack learned to make stylish armor.
Clearly someone forgot their race is prone to killing everything that exists or someponies actuly.
2137989
You left out the bit about her long years of study under the elusive timberwolf-smiths of the Badlands, where they fuel the forges with the weak and elderly.
2137901
Does going though a gauntlet that involves getting kicked/punched in the balls numerous count? Also my friends and family have always said i have a thick skull.
2138552 I do apologize for leaving that bit out, but you have a bit of that wrong. Timberwolves are built by crafters, not forged by smiths. The forges are in the mountain Canterlot Castle is on. How else do you think they get warm water and air up there during the winter?
2138771
Celestia's flatulence
2138642 not sure, have you put anyone in the hospital thanks to a headbutt? (Don't ask, I got in major trouble because of it) Also that gauntlet sounds like my friend's elementary school life way back when.
I should probably say something about the story, great job Shiro, drunk Twilight is apparently best Twilight.
2138898 Or would be if she remembered anything
2138898
ya, but i hit them on the nose with my head and knee'd them in the crotch at the same time causing them to pass out. In my defence he was a dick
2138928 twilight.ponychan.net/chan/pic/src/132979191794.gif
2138811 I must say, that joke stunk.
2139179 img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/453cff9c96a4c318c68652114d8d3c4b/http://i1192.photobucket.com/albums/aa321/chothrea/488__safe_princess-luna_reaction-image_traditional-royal-canterlot-voice.jpg
2139219 I can't come up with an adequate response to that, so I'll use this picture instead.
i.imgur.com/L3vo1.png
Wasted.
2139553 totally
Yay update!!!
Ouch I can only imagine that face palming with anything metal wether it be a hoof or an palm ha gotta hurt unless you've got a metal plate in your forehead!
Twilight: "Do you even lift?"
As a dude that once facepalmed with a reinforced smelting glove i feel you pain Twi.
Metal hoof, meet twilight's face.
i.imgur.com/Kwd4a8d.png
i made a custom smiley, just for this.
2140516
Wow, you should feel so proud about being able to change a colour in an image.