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You are Anonymous, the human resident of Ponyville- often seen with your best friend, Rainbow Dash. She tests out her tricks with you, you provide her terrible comments and less-than-luxurious drinks; The perfect friendship.
But when tragedy befalls your friend by your hand, how far are you going to go to help her through?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Rainbow was horrifically out of character. Not even she would be stubborn enough to not understand that someone is trying to help her.
I have to respectfully disagree sir, she *is* that stubborn. And her ego doesn't help at all.
Thank you for the feedback, however.
OH BOY ANOTHER ONE OF THESE
Ohh my feelzz.
I don't know how to feel about this story rainbow was wn asshole anon was a door mat but it is a well writen story so.....idk
Rainbow Dash was incredibly OOC, but that isn't the main problem.
FimFiction writers have this bad mindset that if they write in second person they will automatically earn the feature box. Sometimes the fics are OK, but you have to be really good to even make them readable. You, as your OOC-ness of RD shows, are not. Stick to more conventional forms of writing before you go trying anything artsy-fartsy.
I must say I partially enjoyed it, liked how the story was, maybe, throw in a named OC instead of "anon"
Other than that, I pretty much liked it.
Yessir, I hail from Anon in Equestria, where we tend to >greentext. The second person narrative also originate from the greentexting, and I'd like to write in that very narrative because it provides easier immersion.
1709355
ThArcanist, please do not assume that I am trying to hog attention with it, I'm doing this because it is fun, and that's about it.
To the rest saying RD is off character, keep in mind that her only source of pride has been robbed away. That sort of panic triggers a need to pit the fault upon an entity, to pent out the anger and frustration (we psyche now.)- and in this case, it came upon Anonymous, the person who asked for the trick in the first place.
With that mindset- well- set, RD's anger towards Anonymous grows, and it only multiplies more when he insists he should be taking care of her. Note that she has no idea what is going on in this case, and most likely assume she was abducted from the hospital for god-knows-what reasons. Hence I made her to act like a total ass in the story.
The development was very subtle and quick, something I'm not proud with- but I hoped some of you would catch that hint, not jumping into a conclusion that your headcanon Rainbow Dash did not match what I wrote.
Fanfic is srs bisnis with bundles of sticks
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"ThArcanist, please do not assume that I am trying to hog attention with it, I'm doing this because it is fun, and that's about it."
Ok, I can respect that. I apologize for my assumption that you were attempting to hog attention. However, I resent the implication that you thought I was riled up because Rainbow Dash did not match my headcanon. But, that aside, I also apologize for being to quick to judge your story. It was well written grammatically but perhaps to show the characterization it should have been longer.
1709355
Get off your high-horse, chucklefuck. I don't see a competition for being the biggest asshat on the internet going on, so fuck off.
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We coo.
1713968
Don't mind him, he doesn't have his potatoes.
1713968
Huh. I was under the impression that we bronies were supposed to be tolerant, not angry. And also, even for a non-brony, that was uncalled for. You should feel ashamed of yourself.
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You know what else wasn't called for? Your high and mighty stick-up-ass dismissal of the story, that's what. Go fuck yourself you "wuv and towerance" spewing fountain of autism.
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I have one thing to say to you:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdsoycSKhY1rel4lco1_400.jpg
Your type is more suited to /b/. If you want to spew profanity, at least have a reason for doing so. Don't just scream at a guy for no reason because you got too drunk or had a bad day. That is all. Don't bother replying, because i'm done wasting my time with you and i'm sure the author would not want me to clog up his story with a bunch of comments that don't even relate to it.
Very nice. I thought the urophilia aspects where a bit out of place, but I enjoyed the story. Had the "feels" as you humans call them.
1713968
Irish, yer fucking killing me dude. God. DAMN. My sides...
About damn time you brought this story here, Lulzies. Slowly spread the influence of AiE through the MLP fanfiction... we'll rewrite how HiE fics are done, and set a new standard.
i really enjoyed the story. although i think we could do without a flame war irish. wouldnt want to give bronys a bad name
Good job on this! I loved every moment of it, Anon reminded me of myself, and the rest of the characters were dead on, great job! I also love it because I'm tired of searching this site only to see all this freakin stories that are trying to turn the characters into things they are not, such as lesbos and such. Awesome job!
I love how Anon never even came close to snapping when Rainbow was being an ass. Even when he lost the leg, he was all like, ''Okay, i lost my leg....no biggie.'' I would snap under those conditions due to my short fuse and high temper. Love this story, i'd give it an award if i could.
This was good I really enjoyed it
Excellent story! I love the way you portrayed Dash's brashness perfectly, and the life you breathed into this story. Absolutely AMAZING.
good story. only thing was that the ending was kinda weak. felt rushed other than that loved RDs character.
If Rainbow Dash wasn't as pig-headed, mean-spirited and liberally violent as some ridiculously exaggerated portrait of Gilda anywhere outside of a crack fic and to an extent canon ponies are never shown to reach, this would have been a somewhat decent story. But it's not, and not only for that complete violation of character but for the "we all cool now that a few words were swapped and fuck all the consequences" ending make this fic intolerable.
Have a thumb down to convince you to actually nail characterization if you ever feel like writing in the future.
EDIT: Downvote me if you like, whoever you are. Red is my favorite color.
I can accept Rainbow's bad side being exaggerated for the sake of the story; but Anon so easily forgiving her is absolute bullshit. He should have fulfilled his promise and never made contact with her- the the rest of the story being her trying to make it up to him- or failing. Instant forgiveness and reconciliation are impossible.
a very good story, even if the mane characters were, a lot ooc. the feels made it enjoyable enough.
I understand Anon putting up with Dash's shit out of guilt, but easily forgiving her for causing him to lose a leg is bullshit levels of 'being more of a doormat than Flutter Shy'.
Someone breaking your leg(s) is "validly angry, but forgiveness is possible".
Someone causing you to lose limb(s) is a life changing event that lands the perpetrator within the range of "justifiable wrath and forgiveness is practically impossible", and "placed on the people-to-murder list".
Anon would have been justified in tossing her out on the streets.
I also didn't see any romance, just strained friendship.
meh!
cant really much agree what anon did for rainbow there, a leg for a busted wing? by which will heal eventually!
It was okay but could have been even better with realistic communication, rather than accepting abuse instead of telling her what is going on.
).
Seems like an example of plot occurring because the characters act unrealistically, (as if they want to hide as much as possible for bonus points.
How the fuck is this romance?????
Also, it is literally impossible for Anon or anyone to forgive so easily. This is just twisted for the sake of plot convenience and HiE romance. Fuck this.
WAT DA FUQ IS THAT!! DELET THIS!!
This story was good all the way up to the point that Anon lost a limb. As it has been stated by many readers on here, there isn't a balance to Rainbow Dash getting a few broken limbs to Anon losing a leg. Rainbow Dash's injuries will heal, but Anon, he will never have a real leg again.
Should of had him break a leg than lose one and again as it has been stated, he shouldn't have been so forgiving. I can see Anon putting up with Dash all the way through this story because of a promise, but once he lost a limb because of Dash's rash behavior, turns this story into a darker path.
I was hoping that the reason Dash is so hard on Anon was because she secretly liked him...
This was a nice story to read, up until that ending.
Esto definitivo es una referencia de como entrenar a tu dragon
I like this it really had a nice feel to it because I feel that Rainbow Dash learned that her rash behavior could have done more than just cost a limb. I can see the romance because it took the loss of something for her to see that we have to show friends love because we never know what they could be doing for you. Because she didn’t want to accept help she acted stupid with the one who opened his home to her when he could have said no. He forgave her unconditionally through everything including his lost leg, and in the end they both bonded closer because of one accident.
5828873
It’s because true friendship comes from forgiveness. Because forgiveness is a hard virtue to come by normally one would get mad, but true loyalty and friendship comes from understanding, and forgiveness. Yes he lost a leg, and yes anyone would be quick to say you cost me my leg, and dissed on my help so out with you, but Anon was a true friend he kept a promise despite the fact he was bullied the way he was. Anon acted like a true friend because he knew she was hurt, and that can make people not very happy. But by forgiving even the loss of his leg he showed true strength, and true friendship. Because Dash was in a bad place when she made her decisions.