All tales have a beginning
The night gives no light in Canterlot, as most of the ponies asleep except for a few nightclubs. The breeze was cool, leaving stray leaves to dance in the wind. The only light was the moon, a couple of streetlights, and some houses that still have lights on. All is quiet, save for the sound of rapid hoofbeats.
A pegasus quickly ran across on of the roofs of a house, attempting to escape one of the Lunar Guards. His robes billowing in the wind, with his hood covering half of his sight. Running out of room on one this roof, he spread his dark wings, flapping them to take to the air. Close enough to the next house, he folded his wings and landed lightly on the roof, not losing any momentum. His breathing labored, his muscles protesting, he somehow forgot how he got in this mess. He noticed a narrow alleyway below him. He quickly dropped down, hoping to slow his pursuer.
With the hood still on, he almost crashed into the wall in front of him. He looked around quickly, hoping for an escape route, which held two. One way was up, the other the being the other way, to the streets. He sprinted towards the streets, knowing if he went up, he'd encounter the guard. Halfway through, his exit was growing closer. Until another Lunar Guard dropped in front of him. His bat wings were opened instinctively to make him look larger.
"Stop right there! Do not resist arrest, or I will use force!" the guard shouted. The pegasus continued sprinting and hit the gurad with his shoulder, knocking him off balance. Taking this distraction, He hit the guard in the face with a right hook, knocking him out cold. Hearing the faint thumps of wing beats, he continued running back to the streets, hoping to lose him in the crowd of drunks and insomniacs.
Out in the streets once more, he noticed a group of ponies, staggering a bit, mostly drunk, or tipsy at the least. Quickly removing his robes and hood, The pegasus stuffed the clothing in his brown saddle bags, revealing his messy and blood red mane and charcoal coat. He briskly trotted up to the group, hoping the guard would not notice him. He started over hearing the conversation his soon to be group was having.
"-and then I said, 'Let's get out of here before something big drops,' and then the music blasted back on!" one of them said, a green earth stallion said, his mane a darker shade of green. The rest of the group roared with laughter, only consisting of a tall, lanky unicorn, a yellow pegasus mare, and another earth stallion, this one brown with a cyan mane.
"Excuse me, mind if I join in on this conversation?" The pegasus asked, pleading on the inside for a yes. The group looked at each other, as if using telepathy. It seemed difficult for them to focus though, for they were still a bit drunk.
"What's in for ush?" The green earth pony asked. The previously hooded thief removed a bag of bits and tossed it to the pony. He took it and stuffed it into his pony pocket, one of Equestria's many mysteries.
"And I've got another story!" The pony shouted to his group. The stallions looked excited while the mare relaxed a little. He noticed that she was very aware of her surroundings, indicating she was the sober one of the group.
The green pony went on to tell his story, but our thief didn't pay close attention to it. Only bits and pieces like "Hotel" "Sexy mare," and a certain number he wanted to forget at that moment.
The clanking of metal got the attention of the group. They all looked back to see a Lunar Guard staring at them, his horn glowing slightly. The guard noticed the pegasus and nodded slightly.
"Say Night, I didn't know that you got drunk a bit. Explains your attitude in the mornings." The guard said sarcastically. Night sighed inwardly that he didn't get caught for his latest robbery.
"Actually, I'm one of the sober ponies to make sure the others don't get hurt or anything like that." Night said. The guard raised an eyebrow.
"Who's the other sober one?"
"Her." Night pointed at the other Pegasus. She looked at him surprised but didn't say a word.
"Heh, I knew you pegasi are lightweights. Anyways, see ya in the morning." The guard continued walking in search for the thief he was chasing a minute before.
The mare of the group turned back to Night. "How did you know I wasn't drunk?"
"I can see that you obviously aren't swaying nor is your voice slurred." Night began. The Pegasus nodded and turned back to the other stallions, of which the unicorn was passed out.
"Well, it seems Alyx ish out. Time to go home." The thinner earth pony said. Night nodded and turned around to head home.
"Wait, aren't you going to help us?" The green pony asked.
"Why would I help a few drunks?" Night asked a bit too coldly.
"Because you said you were going to help me guide them home." The Pegasus said. Night turned around to see her really close to his face with an expression of anger mixed with annoyance. Night backed up a bit and looked behind her to the other ponies. They too were staring at him.
"... Fine." Night went to pick up the unconcsious pony and placed him on his back. "By the way, what are your names?"
"I'm Summer Shine." The Pegasus said.
"I know you won't be able to pronounce my name, so you can just call me TL." The green pony said. Night turned to the other drunk stallion, who said something too incoherent for him to understand.
"Okay, so where does Alyx live?"
"Follow me." Summer lead the group to a section of the houses that was home to some of the higher class ponies. She stopped at a house with good trimmings along the corners of the house. The door was decorated with stained glass, the colors forming nonsense.
TL rang the doorbell, and the door was answered with another unicorn mare, this one looking as snooty as the other ponies.
"My goodness! Did Alyx have too much to drink again?" She said in a slight tone of horror.
"Yes ma'am." Summer responded. The mare used her magic to levitate Alyx into the house. As soon as Alyx was off his back, Night arched his back to get the kinks out.
"Thank you so much. Now, as soon as it's morning, I'm going to have to scold Alyx while he has his hangover!" She said delightedly. Night took a small step back, but having the action turn up useless because she already closed the door.
"Alright, who's next?" Night asked. TL raised his hoof, causing him to lose his balance a little.
"I don't need to be brought home." He turned around, but tripped with an 'Oof.' Night face hoofed and picked up TL.
"Yeah, I can tell when others are drunk." He let Summer guide them to his house, upon which he crashed into the door, making Night facehoof again. This house was more simple, made of wood and much smaller, a bit mediocre.
"Let me get that for you." Night opened the door, which was surprisingly unlocked. As he looked inside, he held back a gasp. The house was unlocked because he unlocked it and robbed the house.
"Thanksh." TL said. He walked in and collapsed on the couch.
"Yeah... You're welcome." Night closed the door and turn to the last two ponies. He pointed a hoof to the unicorn. "You're next."
The pony in question nodded before his eyes started drooping. Soon, he fell asleep standing up. Night shook his head in defeat and nudged the unicorn onto his back.
"Lead the way again?" Night asked Summer. She nodded and brought him to a large section of the houses, this one more of between lower and middle class. The unnamed unicorn's house was a large house, almost the same as TL's, save for the walls which were stone.
Night carried him up to the house and knocked on the door. It was answered by an older looking stallion, his coat turning a slight shade of gray.
"Who in Tartarus are you?!" He shouted grumpily.
"Uh... Er, you see... I'm, Night?" The Pegasus said awkwardly. The older pony looked him up and down.
"I don't think I've ever seen you before." He leaned in closer to Night. "Exactly who the hell are you and how did you meet my son."
"Like I said, my name is Night, and I met your son at the... bar?" Night asked more then answered. The old pony's eyes dropped a bit, indicating he was also drunk, or recently woken up.
"Okay. He pass out again?" Night shook his head up and down. "Standing up?" Night nodded once more. "Ah, he takes after his old man."
Night used his wings to lift the unconscious unicorn off of him and into the back of the other pony. He nodded and went back inside, leaving Night with Summer Shine.
"So, uh, you need me to guide you home too?" Night asked.
"Sure, I don't mind company." Summer said before walking off. Night followed her and turned to the night sky slightly.
"So what's your last name?" Summer asked.
"Not many ponies it, so I don't tell lots of other ponies that part of my name."
"Come one, I promise I won't laugh."
"Oh, it's not because it's funny."
"Then why don't they like it?"
"I don't know, probably because like on the Internet, it's called 'Mary Sue'-ish or something like that."
"Well can you tell me?"
"Nope." Summer stops and turns to completely face Night.
"Do it."
"Sorry, but no." Night stops and turns his head to her as well.
"Do it!"
"Nope."
"Come on!"
"Fine. It's St..." Night's voice trails off as he becomes interested in his hooves.
"What was that?"
"I said it's Sta..." The word is incoherent due to volume.
"One more time?" She leans closer a bit.
"... Stalker."
"What? That's it?" Summer looks at him in disbelief. Night shrugs and continues walking.
"Uh, my house is right here." Summer points to the house to her right. Night turns around and sees her pointing at a house that is similar to Alyx's.
"So we are. Well, it's been nicking seeing you Summer."
"You too Night... Stalker." She giggles and enters her house.
Night rolls his eyes and flies back to his house. Or more so, his apartment. He enters the lobby and gets a look from the pony at the counter.
"Been out at the clubs, Mister Night?" She asks.
"I told you not to call me that." Night retorts. The pony at the counter rolls her eyes before going back to her book. Night only gets a glance at the cover before quickly moving on, his brain shuddering at the title 'Fifty Shades do Grey.'
Night enters his room through the door using his key. He stares at his humble abode, which he calls his bearable living space. He looks out the window to make sure no pony is watching before closing the blinds. He reaches into his saddlebags and pulls out three items, and places all three on the coffee table. One was his cloak, another his bag of bits, another a very expensive looking necklace.
He stares at the necklace as of hypnotized before shaking his head. He's stolen many items before, but he can never get over the feeling of guilt in his throat. He places the jewelry back in the bag and lays down in his bed. He cares not for the covers, because who gets cold at night? Not Night.
His mind drifted off as he fell into the state of sleep, thinking of running through the wild, killing pirates and animals and getting treasure and...
---------------
He awoke to the annoying sound of his alarm clock. He checked the time and groaned. He'd only been asleep for three hours, not that he was complaining. He might be an insomniac. Or not. He hasn't checked in a few years.
The Pegasus pony gets in the shower and cleans himself of muck and grime for ten minutes before walking out and shaking himself clean. He grabs his bag of bits and briskly trots out of the apartment and to the castle.
As he nears the castle, he is greeted with many ponies, many with their noses high up in the air. He doesn't bother thinking of coming up with insults as he trots to the gates. He is greeted with two Royal Guards, who both nod to Night. He returns the gesture and continues onwards through the castle and to the barracks.
When he enters, he sees that only a few of his fellow ponies in the Lunar service are there. A couple he doesn't normally talk to, but another is a close friend of his. He walks next to his locker and removes his armor from its metallic prison.
"Hey Dilluted." He greets to the mare next to him as he puts on the chest plate piece. She looks up from the helmet she's polishing.
"Oh, hey Night. Didn't hear you walk in." She responds with her usual quiet voice. Her black and purple mane swing back and forth as she continues polishing the helm. Night attaches the back piece of the armor to the chest piece.
"Yeah, I'm surprised how I can even walk quietly with how much I weigh." He puts on the hoof protectors, causing his whole coat to turn gray, save for his necks and up. His wings turn from bird wings to those resembling a bat.
"Say, how much did you say you weigh again?" Dilluted puts the now clean helmet down and turns to Night.
"About 150 pounds." Night puts the helmet on, turning the rest of his coat to turn gray. His eyes turn from dark brown to that of gold and look much like a cat's. fake fangs sprout from his teeth.
"Dang, getting a little fat there, eh?" She taunts quietly. She pokes him a few times in his unguarded stomach.
"You do remember I'm not ticklish there, right?"
"Yeah, but I like poking you in the stomach. It's a bit jiggly." She pokes him a few more times before he fans the hoof away.
"Most of it might be fat, but i still got a bit os muscle. Anyways, how was your me?" Night asks.
"What?"
"You know, my name is Night, so when I ask 'How was your me?' I mean how was your night?" She thinks for a couple seconds before laughing at the joke.
"Ah, I see what you did there!"
Night gives a slight bow before walking out of the barracks. He looks left, right, up, and down the barracks. Up and down because there have been a few pegasi and shrinking unicorn issues in the past. He spots a Royal Guard walking past him. The former Pegasus only glances, but a big thought runs through his mind.
Ugh, look at that armor, barely covering up his body. I can clearly see his sack, swinging with every sep he takes. Must have at least 30 bits in it. He shakes his head and continues to the spot he takes up during shifts. As he continues, he catches a glance of Princess Luna's door. He turns towards said door, and makes it to his area that stands in front of the door.
His partner, who's name he can't remember, stands on the other side of the door. He nods to him, and receives one as well. Night checks his watch and sees he is just in time. Noises come from inside Luna's door. Night's ear flicks involuntarily to the noise, and the sounds become slightly clearer.
The voices are mumbled, but he can clearly hear the sounds of gunshots and explosions. Luna must be playing games again. He sneakily listens to the sounds, slightly entertained by it. He cringes a bit at the sound of a large Boom, meaning Luna probably blew up by an explosive.
He smiles again as the sound of war continues.
---------------
Night removes his helm in the barracks and quickly twists his head left and right, earning pops from the vertebrae. As he removes the hoof guards, Dilluted enters his vision.
"Hey." He greets
"Hey." She responds.
"How are you?"
"Good."
"Likewise." DIALOGUE!
"So you have any interesting news from the outside world?" Night asks.
"Well, they're releasing a new game tomorrow."
"Really? Is it good or crappy like that new Aliens game?"
"Oh, I heard it's good alright. Does a game titled Equestrian Earth sound boring?"
"I dunno. Is it a role playing game?" Night asks as he removes his back armor piece.
"Yep."
"Then I think I'll like it." Night removes the chest plate and places it all in the locker. He looks down at his charcoal black hooves and smiles, thankful he gets to not see bland gray.
"Well I think I'll get it too. Sounds fun, and we can meet up in it some time."
"And how come I've never heard of it?"
"How come I've never heard of Patapon before?"
"Hey, that's probably the best game I've ever played."
"Whatever." She unlocks her locker and removes the armor from it. Night rolls his eyes and walks out of the barracks. The sun shines bright in his face while on the horizon. He heads back to his house with his wing blocking the sun so as not to blind him.
He arrives back into his apartment and makes a sandwich before going straight to bed, tired from all that standing around.
---------------
Night wakes up to the annoying sound of an alarm clock again. He turns it off and takes his ten minute shower. While in it, he decides to take the day off and get that game he heard about yesterday.
He grabs a bag of seventy bits and heads to the nearest GameStop. He grabs a sandwich from a nearby deli. As he gets there, he notices a line in front of the game store, stretching to the back of the building. He walks to his respectful spot in the back and waits patiently. By patiently, I mean he sits down and gets comfortable.
In front of him is a unicorn that gets his attention somehow. Maybe it's her height? He doesn't know, but she also looks bored. He takes his mind off of the situation and lets his mind wander. Unfortunately, as everyone has to stare at something while thinking, he ended up staring at her. She turned her attention to him.
"May I help you?" She asks calmly. Night shook his head to get rid of any stray thoughts.
"Sorry, my brain kinda went off track for a potato there." Night facehoofs at his remark. The unicorn giggles lightly.
"A what?"
"Yeah, my brain was on the philosophy of potatoes for some reason, and it just sorta came out." He responds. He feels his cheeks heat up from embarrassment.
"That sometime happens to me too. Sometimes. I'm Chalice by the way."
"I'm Night." The Pegasus says, his cheeks cooling off.
"Nice to meet you, Night. I'm the librarian at one of the local schools." Chalice says.
"Nice. Are the colts and fillies nice?"
"Oh yes, although they can get a bit loud there. What is your occupation?"
"Im one of the Lunar Guards up in the castle."
"Really? What rank are you?"
"A lieutenant."
"Not bad. Isn't it a few few more years and you became a general?"
"I think so. I don't know that much on the army knowledge. Just wing it a bit." Night gives a light flap of his wings. Chalice gives a soft giggle at the intended pun.
"So what are you doing at GameStop?" Night asks.
"Oh, I just need something to do while at home. Not much to do with what few game systems I have."
"But don't you have the Internet?"
"Oh, I do. Just that I'm a bit scared of what I'll find while looking through it."
"I see that reasonable. Are you also here for theat new game Equestrian Earth?" She nods. "Do you know what it's about?"
"I think it's a role playing game in which you choose what class you want and go on missions to defeat enemies or collect items for NPCs."
"Like World of Warcraft?"
"I guess I haven't played it much."
"Neither have I. Is there a specific class you are choosing?"
"I'm going with the Rune Mage. I hear that they don't use up a lot of magic to cast, and can boost fellow teammate's traits."
"Sounds nice. Heh, maybe we can join up sometime, eh? Look for the archer."
"Sure. Sounds like fun." Chalice smiles, her blonde and cyan mane softly bouncing around. Her stomach groans quietly. Night holds out his bag holding the sandwich.
"Would you like something to eat?"
"Sure." She levitates the bag to herself and removes the sandwich before breaking it in half. He puts one half back in the bag before eating the other half. Night puts takes back the bag and places it at his side.
Surely OP, the GameStop employee, will deliver...
---------------
"And it's now open!" Shouted the game store employee shouted to the line three hours later. Night lifted his head from the ground from his sleep. He felt a weight to his left and found Chalice also fell asleep, apparently on his side.
"Wake up, Chalice. Time to get that new game." He said quietly. Chalice groaned a bit before opening her eyes.
"What happened?"
"We fell asleep in a position that suggests we're dating or something." Chalice looked towards Night and jumped up in the air with wide eyes.
"I'm so sorry! I didn't think that would happen!" Chalice quickly apologized. Night got up from the ground.
"It's fine. Plus, I don't think many ponies really cared. Unless it was some pony I knew. Like-"
"Hey Night! You're finally awake with you're mare friend!" Dilluted quietly shouted.
"-Dilluted. Hey there. And she's not my mare friend." Night turned around to face the Pegasus.
"Then why was she leaning on you while you both were asleep?"
"Seriously, who sleeps without leaning on something?" Night remembered about the unicorn who fell asleep while standing up. "Nevermind."
"Anyways, so I see that you're here to get that new game I told you about, right?"
"Yep."
"Is this Dilluted?" Chalice asked.
"Yep, one of the few friends I have." Night points a hoof to Dilluted, who's wings are spread proudly, the black appendages shining dimly with their red tipped ends.
"Yep! That's me! And you might be?" Dilluted asked.
"I'm Chalice." Chalice said. The line slowly moved forward as most of the ponies got their copy of the game and left.
"I'm assuming that by how many ponies there are and how many games are in the store, we might barely get the game." Chalice concluded. The line slowly moved up again.
"Okay, so if we do get the game, how might I meet you?"
"Don't all MMO games start in the same spot?" Dilluted asked.
"Oh right. So I guess we can join around 7:00 PM, okay?" Chalice nodded, the line moving up some more.
After fifteen minutes, the trio make it into the store, only to find no more.
"Hold on, there are some more in the back." The clerk said. He went into said back of the store and came back with many more games in his magical grip. The three ponies got there games, bought them, and headed back to their respectful homes.
Night placed the game disk in his computer, which is not the best but decent. He waits for it to begin the loading process. After thirty seconds, the loading bar pops up on the screen.
Beginning download of Equestrian Earth...
Loading(0%) 22 hours remaining.
Night shook his head and got in his bed. He closed his eyes and the visions were filled with potatoes. Celestia da-
---------------
Night woke up to the alarm clock again. He looks at it and sees it say 6:45 PM. He got up and went to the computer.
Downloading Equestrian Earth(99%) 8 minutes 42 seconds remaining
Night stared at the monitor in confusion before shaking his head. Bucking thing can get really glitchy. He head to his bathroom and takes a shower, cutting this one off a bit short. As he made it back, he noticed the loading was done.
Download complete
Open Equestrian Earth?[Y/N]
Night hit the Y key. The cursor turned into an hourglass for a few seconds before turning back into its original form. A window popped up, showing the log on screen of the game. He registered his new account and the screen went black before a new window popped up, becoming full screen.
Use I.P.V.[Y/N]
Night stared in confusion at the question before remembering that something else came with the game. He looked in the box before pulling out a strange looking helmet with lots of wires coming from the side, some with suction cups. He found the USB cord and plugged it into the computer. He pressed the Y key before looking at the instructions.
Okay, so place that on my forehead, that on my ear, and this one on my wing... Night placed the correct wires with the suction cups in the places they belonged. He then put the helmet on his head, the visor not activated. He noticed that the screen was loading, most likely waiting for him to get ready. He was not ready for a bright light to burn his eyes from the visor.
"Rape! Eye rape!"
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"Rape! Eye Rape!" It's certainly been a while since I've heard that one. Made me chuckle. Good start you have here. I noticed a few slight grammatical errors (and I think one or two mistaken words), but your writing has certainly improved from the last story you posted.
Were you planning on following my continuity? I'd hate to force your character to do stuff that you don't want to write about.
2165525
I was. And if you could point out the mistakes, that would be helpful
2165529 Alrighty. Lemme give it another look-through and see what I can find. It's almost midnight, so I might still miss a few things (there's a reason I don't proofread my own work until the morning) but I should still catch a lot of them.
While I am picking this sentence out as a specific example, I'm seeing this in your writing consistently where you refer to things in the Present Pense. Usually when writing a story you write in the Past Tense, which would turn this sentence into-
Notice I also added an "and" after the comma, to better smooth the transition between the two complete ideas that you had stated. Without the "and" a comma wouldn't be the right punctuation to use. Since you were connecting two independent clauses without using and, as, or, or any of the other bridging words, a semicolon (;) would be appropriate here.
The above correction to your sentence isn't the only way that it can be done. You could keep the present tense on the second verb, "covering" as long as you transition the first verb "billowing" to past tense. The reason for this is, since you have the first verb as past tense it sets the tense for the entire sentence, allowing you to connect other phrases using present tense verbs. This can add some variety to your writing if you are writing out an action sequence.
Of course, I'm not done proofreading yet. More to come eventually. This was just an FYI to help you become a better writer.
Wow! You FINALLY got around to this! :D *gets his reading gear ready as he begins*
Edit: good~ REALLY good! Can't wait to see more! :3
2165617
Thank you VERY much
2165949
I'm not sure when I can upload the next chapter
Like it so far. Can't wait to see where this goes.
...Hehe. Tree ponies.
2173464
I'll fix it
Great story so far! I'm definitely going to be watching this!
)
Your OC sounds vaguely familiar to mine... similar name too, hell mine is Night Air, and he's a Solar Guard (couldn't make the Lunar Guard
And given from what the description of the story is, I presume Night Stalker is going to be a thief in the game?
Another weird coincidence, I was planning on writing an Equestrian Earth story with my OC as an assassin.
Honestly, I've never seen your work before and the coincidence between the our two OC's strike me... Want to do a crossover or something?
2186833
Sure I guess. And I just came up with mine on the spot.
2187552 Cool, I'll PM you about it.