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Oh god, what have I created?667 words
The Incredibly awesome adventures of Rainbow Clash915 words

The Incredibly awesome adventures of Rainbow Clash

Authors Note: I regret nothing, this was made by a teenage boy that was hopped up on three red bulls and hadn't slept for three days. In the latest episode Rainbow Dash said that she was writing a novel, I simply emulated what I assumed would be her writing style, personally I think I did quite well. That's not a good thing. I'm warning you, if you wish to keep your sanity, innocence or all of the above, do not read this

Once upon a time there was a mare named Rainbow Clash, who was totally awesome by the way. And she was totally an adventurer, and marefriends with Daring Do, because she was awesome.

Rainbow Clash was like, one of the fastest fliers in Equestria, maybe even the fastest. And she had wanted to be a Wonderbolt ever since she was a filly. But she wasn't afraid to apply for the tryouts, of course not, that would make her totally lame. She was just busy saving Equestria and stuff, you know, awesome stuff. Like having Daring Do for a marefriend and other stuff.

One day Rainbow Clash finally managed to pluck up the courage to apply for the Wonderbolt tryouts. She woke up in the morning and turned to her marefriend and said; "I'm gonna be a Wonderbolt by this evening, 'kay?"

Her marefriend- Daring Do- turned to her with glistening eyes (and shapely flank) and said; "I know you will become a Wonderbolt easily because you are the most awesome and sexy mare in all of Equestria Rainbow Clash!" And then they totally made out, and it was hot.

When they had stopped making out Rainbow Clash got out of bed and started to make breakfast, which she could totally do without setting the kitchen on fire. When she stepped away from the counter there was the most awesome stack of pancakes in the world in front of her, with apple syrup and nuttella, and layered with hay-bacon strips. Daring Do walked in and almost fainted from the sheer magnitude of awesome the pancakes were emitting, which was hard to do, because Daring Do was pretty awesome. But being the bestest and most sexiest mare in Equestria Rainbow Clash wasn't fazed at all.

"You're the best cook in all of Equestria!" said Daring Do, still in shock of her marefriend's skill at everything, ever.
And in the awesomest voice possible Rainbow Clash said, "That's because I'm the best at everything" And then she put on sunglasses and flew out the window and some random stuff exploded which she totally didn't look at because she was awesome.

As Rainbow Clash was flying to the stadium where the Wonderbolt tryouts were being held she did forty-two sonic rainbooms, just because she was awesome. And people were totally fainting and swooning at her amazingness.
When she got to the Wonderbolt stadium people were queuing up for the tryouts. But then they saw Rainbow Clash, and they all got out of line because they knew she was going to be a Wonderbolt and were wondering if she even needed to do the trials.

When she got to the front desk the receptionist looked at her with pure amazement in her eyes. "What's your name oh great and awesome one?" she asked, in awe of the awesomeness that was Rainbow Clash.

"My names Rainbow Clash, kid" She said, lowering her aviator shades to wink at the receptionist, who fainted.

Rainbow Clash walked on by the receptionist who was making kissy-faces and saying her name. Right into the stadium where the tryouts were being held. All of the really really tough looking competitors looked at Rainbow Clash, and their eyes melted because she was so awesome.

The super-sexy captain of the wonderbolts came out of the tunnel that led into the stadium and saw that everyone's eyes had melted. Then she looked over towards Rainbow Clash and her eyes almost melted too, but they didn't, because she was a wonderbolt so that meant she was super awesome too.

"Rainbow Clash wins by default because her awesomeness melted the eyes of all of the other competitors!" cried out the super-sexy captain of the wonderbolts. "And because you are so awesome I am retiring as captain of the wonderbolts and giving the position to you!" She said.

Then, Rainbow Clash walked up to her and they made out. And then Daring Do came over and made out with them too. And it was super hot.

"So Whaddya think Twi?" Asked the author of the self proclaimed 'most awesome book in the history of ever' Rainbow Dash.

Twilight Sparkle, having just read the 'most awesome book in the history of ever' looked up at Rainbow Dash in despair.

"Dash, please, can you do me a favour?" Asked the stunned purple unicorn.

"What? Publish my awesome book right now?" Asked the cocky cyan Pegasus

"No, Just for me, could you never, ever write something else in your entire life?" Asked the purple unicorn again.

"That bad huh?" Asked the cyan Pegasus again, less cocky this time though.

"Yep, that bad" said the purple unicorn.

And then they kissed, and it was hot.

Postscript: Don't say I didn't warn you

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