"Now the gate has been unlatched, headstones pushed aside. Corpses shift and offer room, a fate you must abide!"
"You are no father of mine!" Discord shouted.
Entropy was now walking up and down the long corridor sized carpet that lay in the throne room. He gave a quick glare at Discord, but resumed his pacing. At a moments notice, John walked in expecting progress on the research for his return to Earth. He found nothing. "Entropy, when are you going to get me home?" he asked.
"My top specialists are working on it as we speak John, just keep your composure and you will be rewarded."
"Okay, I'm just eager that's all." John walked over to the window that is positioned in the throne room. When he looked outside he saw not the usual colorful world of Equestria, but an already dark version of what looked like a living hell. This was not what he wanted, and this conflicted him greatly on his morals. He contemplated on whether this was right or not and of course, his mind chose the more peaceful approach and not this, hellish approach happening right at his doorstep. "I know it's only been a day since our truce, but be honest with me; do you really think you can get me home?"
"John, I made a promise and I for one keep the promises I make." Entropy fell for John's trap. John knew that Entropy found the promise conversations while sifting through his thoughts and memories and that the memory of Cortana would make him weak. Entropy was sadly mistaken. John was certain now what will happen in the hours ahead of him. Entropy was planning on betraying him, something commonly found with enemies that make temporary alliances just to get what they want. Entropy's goal: take over Equestria. And John knew just how to stop him.
"I'm going for a walk." John stated.
"Fine fine, it's not like you have done anything else around here since I came to power." Entropy was neglecting his composure, quickly gaining it back when he asked the Spartan if he would like company, to which the Spartan happily declined. Why? Because John planned on going where he was forbidden to go: the dungeon.
...
When John arrived at the dungeon, he was quickly scooted out of the "Restricted Area" from several shadow guards. He let them do as they were ordered to do the first time, but when they denied him access a second time he gave each of them a quick punch to the jaw, knocking them out so he could infiltrate the dungeon.
However John had to remain still or the guards would see him. While trying to be sneaky he witnessed the most horrifying thing, he thought, he ever saw. A shadow guard was whipping a Celestial guard who forcibly pushed up against the wall. John couldn't tell at first, but eventually noted that the guard was a Pegasus, with his wings hacked off. The whip being used on the poor soul was tearing flesh from the guards body, flinging chunks of meat across the room. The shadow guard was amused but not done, for when the tortured guard fell from the excruciating pain, he was placed on a rack, where he was secured with tight straps. When the victim was secure he was tortured even more from the crushing force that the torturer was laying down upon him, crushing ever bone in his now frail body. The last thing the victim went through was the rack's true purpose. The second shadow guard standing next to the device increased the tension on the chains which gave the final, gruesome results. The now dead guard was split into five pieces: all the legs were torn apart from the body and the main body itself was now on the ground. This made the two torturers laugh hysterically. The next prisoner was called in and John was too familiar with him. Shining Armor was stood against the wall, muscles tensing from the pain he was about to receive. What made the whole experience worse was the fact the five Elements and the three princesses were forced to watch every gruesome detail of the tortures. John decided to take action and pulled his magnum out when the shadow guards weren't paying attention, aiming down the 2X scope. When the target's head was in sight he let loose a round in his head and instantly gave another round into the second head. When the tangos dropped John holstered his magnum and when to the prisoners.
"John, what are you doing here." A broken Celestia asked.
"This world is succumbing to evil and I intend to stop it."
"Why? We betrayed you and you're still trying to help us." Luna inquired.
"If I could stand fighting alongside Elites, why can't I help fight for my new home." John would regret saying what he just said at a later date, because he didn't intend on staying longer than he had to.
"Well we need to defeat Entropy the same way we defeated him last time. But how......hmm...I got it! Luna do you remember the last time we defeated him, that I had a special little box?" Celestia sporadically asked.
"Y-yes, why is that silly thing so important?" Luna replied.
"That, "silly thing" held our weapon against his tyranny."
"You don't mean the-"
"Yes, we must use-"
"No Cely we can't use it, it's not right!"
"Luna we have no choice."
After a quick moment pondering the dire situation, Luna came to a consensus and agreed with her sister.
"Wait hold on, what is this weapon you used on him?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"It was our old toy crowns." The answer was followed by very irritated glares from everypony else who heard the ludicrous scheme. "Our parents placed very powerful magic spells on them, that when used correctly gives us three free wishes. There are two that remain."
"Yes and we used the first on Entropy when he first took over." Luna finished.
"Okay it sounds like a plan, but we still need to get you up to the throne room undetected." John pointed out. "I'll go up and distract Entropy, while you guys follow at a reasonable pace behind me. When I give the signal you will use your magic and stop him." Everypony nodded in confirmation on the plan but one, Fluttershy, who was clearly upset, had not spoken loud enough for all the other ponies to hear. The only way she could get their attention was through action. When Luna saw this she went back for her, only to hear the grim reality of what was going on. Fluttershy was trying to tell everypony that when Entropy leaves his host, the hosting body does not come back to life, rendering Twilight dead. John and Shining Armor didn't know of this until now.
"What! No, there has to be another way, we can't lose Twiley!" Shining spat.
"Captain Armor, I'm sorry, but there is no other option here." John relayed.
"We can't just let her die!" Shining retorted back.
"Stop your quarrelling you two!" Celestia shouted, "There are two 'wishes' left on our crowns, combined, both wishes will do both jobs at hand. I can assure you Shining Armor that Twilight will be alright."
"We need to get this done. Entropy's betrayal will be soon if I am correct." John barked the information out to everypony else, giving them the rest of the plan while he was on the spotlight. As soon as all the others knew what was going to go down, John commenced the first stage.
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I'm listening to rave music at 5 in the morning while reading this. 8lachlan.global2.vic.edu.au/files/2011/10/like-a-boss1.jpg
1857011 You point out one of the many issue's. Has for being on a Different Planet clearly, you don't know the UNSC are capable of Slip-Space travel. Another issue. Wouldn't you think he would be slightly sadden after losing Cortana? Yet he operate's 100% on the battlefield. The only reason he could operate on Halo 3 was that there was a slim chance of getting her back ,but now there's Zero to no chance of getting her back. Cortana was like Mother/Father to him. If I watched my Parent's die in front of me I couldn't just "shrug it off.". Even War hero's feel pain. So, before you just think i'm another "Hater." take my thought's in to consideration
1865775 while i agree its not perfect, have you ever heard of constructive criticism?
its this new thing where you help the author with his story without basically saying (please excuse my language) FUCK YOU YOUR WORK IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.
Now i agree on the randomized plot. This story does right now feel like someones taken a random pile of junk and thrown it against a wall to see what sticks. However there are nicer ways of saying it. Basically while i agree with your comment (mostly) try not to come across as an (for lack of a better term) asshole and just insult the writer. After all its allot better if we encourage the author to write more and improve then just make him/her feel bad and quit.
Now on-wards to my actual comment instead of a reply.
I have to say this needs to be worked on. Id recommend you reread your own work thoroughly and you should be able to pick up on the rather confusing randomized plot you have weaved in. After all you have sorta cheated out your self with this whole magic lamp business. Another problem is the characters have lost there personality's. You making them act out of character, which as a result is honestly annoying and confusing. I don't think i really need to touch the concept of too much stuff thrown in, as The Didact covered that pretty well in his/her own way.
Please don't take this as your story's, its just to help you improve your work. And besides if this isn't good, then why would 138 people thumbs it up?
Sincerely Shadowless_Night
1865835 I forgive your lack of insight in the fact that I had actually tried to talk some sense into this guy at least ONCE already about this half-ass burnt excuse of a shitty fruitcake story already, and I was relatively nice about it the first time around. But I come back, HOPEING for some slither of an improvement, and here I find that now its gotten much worse. So, I stand by what I said the first time around. If people don't like it, that is their business.
I WAS nice about it once, but I am not so nice when people keep doing the same shit a second go around, like this author has. What irks me the most is the OOCness of the Chief in the middle of the story. Of all the things I can ask for, I ask that ANY writer worth some grit that writes a Halo story make the Chief SOUND AND ACT like Chief. THAT I cannot forgive, and for that reason, I WILL NOT be kind to anyone if I have to point that out.
1865867 i understand. for example that was my reaction in the new halo. The chiefs personality was brutalised in that game, turning his relationship from partners to some ridiculous love between him and Cortana. Also after reading most of the Halo books, i just got more and more infuriated by the games lack of detail and refusal to stick to the proper facts and well i more or less gave up on them.
now while i did not know that you had already brought up those facts with the author beforehand, i still stick with my statement that there are better ways to point out things like that. it is, as much as it pains me at times, the authors choice to listen to the comments or not. if they did we wouldn't have annoying morons like FelixDawn and this site would be that much better. but sadly, this isn't the case and we have to deal with these annoyances.
Sincerely Shadowless_Night
1865885 *Sigh* You know something, I will say that 343 messed up on a lot of ends of the Haloverse myself. Once I started reading all of the negatives about it, I got more and more angry about it. I did sell my copy of Halo 4 after I preordered it, but then I bought another one after I figured that I spent WAY too much of my life on Halo to simply throw it away because the plot was just a bit rushed, besides, the Terminals did kinda tie everything down up somewhat. But, as I said earlier, I can forgive once, as I rethought the game over. I found that 343 was just getting their bearings on and testing the waters, as they were taking the helm of a franchise that had a lot of expectations built onto it. But, if 343 pulls this shit again or, even worse, as I shudder to think it, turn this series into that fucking fish face game CoD with iron sights, I will disown every Microdunce gaming product and never buy any Microdunce-related gaming devices again. They already ruined Banjo-Kazooie for me. This game was a near kill for me. Fortunately I am more forgiving because I loved this series and wasted a lot of my life on it to give it up for just ONE game. But, I WILL say THIS, if they mess up ONE more time, consider me an ex-fan. Also, I am not preordering Halo 5 because of Halo 4.
1865902 agreed. You know i did overlook allot of things with halo 4 because of that, but no mater how much i try to understand i still fail to see why they ruined the series with a messed up out of place love plot between the chief and Cortana. i even had to over look some crap with halo reach and hell the whole book series it self. in the book from what i can remember, then end of halo 1 he regrouped with about 3-4 spartans from reach on his return to earth. these are proper Spartan II's. you never hear from hen again when he returns. on reach cortana was never on the planet. She was on board the pillar of autumn which was taking part in the space battle. a space battle between aprox 100 human ships and 20 super mac stations vs 300+ covenant ships. inwhich several spartans took cover on reach in a ONI bunker built into a mountain, hence where chief recovered the spartans during the gap between 1 and 2.
now i just realised im rambling on now so im gonna wrap this up. i was pissed with bungi with there mutilation of the game story and i hoped 343 industries would at least provide us with a good ending. they did not. and funny enough this seems to be a recurring theme with popular games right now. hence mass effect 3 assassins creed. but basically i hoped for a good ending and was disappointed greatly by 343 industries. loved the actual game itself, but the plot? they mutilated it with the romance they added.
1865961 Yeah, I'll end it here with this. I had expected to at least have a battle where I got to kick the ass of the Didact, because, the way the final level was set up, the Didact was floating there in the gravity beam ominously. I had expected a final battle due to all that teasing, but all I got was a lousy quick-time event. WHICH was kinda vaguely familiar *cough* CoD *cough* That is one thing that earned them my ever-lasting ire, though.
1865972 agreed. i was expecting a decent ending battle at the least. didn't get it. aah dammit i was half way through writing the next chapter for my story when this started and now i dont feel like writing any more. oh well my readers can wait its only been what ... 3 weeks? im sure too many of them wont want me dead XD
Plot guess: Two wishes. One stops entropy, one sends Spartan 117 home in time for tea.
1865754
Do you even know Chief? When he was in the grips of Gravemind, what did he do? He was 100% ready and able to do what needed to be done. When Chief lost Captain Keyes in Halo CE, what did he do? He punched the Captain's head in to get the neural implant, meaning he didn't care about concerning himself with the Captain. When he 'lost' his fellow Spartans, what did he do? He saved the galaxy multiple times and, from our knowledge, didn't think about them. Spartans are trained to be 100% at all times, with no emotional or physical pains to get in the way of their goals. A good example is when Sam died; he stayed behind and gladly gave his life for the mission. Why? Well that's because they were trained to that. Your argument is invalid over why John acts as if he has no pain. It is even said that he feels pain, he just puts the thoughts and painful memories in the back of his mind, secluded and saved for a more appropriate time.
Well that was quick
If rhe story ends here i will be severly disapointed
1867416
Not yet, still much drama to go through in the next two to three chapters.
1867205 You put up a good argument. So, for the sake of ponies, i'll just keep reading
1867742
I appreciate your concern for my story sir/ma'am, and I always keep the Chief first in my thoughts. To leak something about the story, the new chapter should be out tonight or tomorrow. Depends on me I guess...
1865835 when i posted my first story i got so much hate i took it down and re-rote the first four chapters (i only ever published the 1st chapter and the prolge
1865961 the fact that chief cares about a sentient, irreplaceable pice of equipment that was with him thew the deapest hell holes of the war and who was made from thee only being Spartan IIs would even consider calling MOM dos not make it a love story,if it dos halo three: Miranda Keyes and sgt. Avery Jonson couts as a love story
1874856 he never considers cortana as his mom. even throughout the book series dr hasly(not sure how to spell it) was considered the mother of Spartans. And that means that the mother figure is already taken. so... either the chief wants a second mother, or he's in love with an A.I. second is most likely. plus in the book Spartans are trained against becoming emotionally compromised. if he can take watching his fellow Spartans die in the battlefield which he has, and hes known them and basically been a brother to them since childhood, im sure he could take cortana's death without such a compromising responce
1874918 i ever said he considers Cortana MOM i was saying that between the hell they've been thew and the fact that she was made from Dr Halsy. Chief is aloud a little sentimental value for Cortana. and even throw spartan IIs are mentally conditioned not to be affected by emotions on the battle field dosnt mean they dont feel them, Sam was Chief's best friend so when he manuly detonated those nukes lets just say "Spartans have exibeted mild sociopathic behavior" is not without reason
also halo wiki for anything you need to know halo
He seems to be a little care free and lacking in military attitude. But so far it's going good!
Screw entropy, release the flood!
This story is just a tad bit clunky. I problem I have with it is one minute John and the ponies are at each other's throats and the next they're friends again. That's kind of weird. I also think Entropy is being kind of rushed. I mean for Discord's father he doesn't seem all that threatening or that powerful. He hasn't really done anything other than posses Twilight, play with John's mind, and summon those monsters. I feel like he could be worse. Plus I'm sure there's a few mechanical errors here and there.
Still, I'm interested to see how this turns out, and I'll still be waiting for the next update.
I just read the story status, and it said it was complete. Is that true or did you do that by accident?
2256527
Yes it's true, but I will start work on the sequel in the period of a week. Why?
2256577 Just wanted to know. The Author's Note kinda confused me.
2895066
because they're so willing to help... you know creating the flood and all
2895055 who's tech lev systome are you using? i know some that a 5 would be LG galaxy cluster spanning empire. ponies, sadly have not reached that age
2909034
He's using the official Halo Tech Levels. Level 5 is the Atomic Age, i.e. nukes. Level 6 is the Industrial Age, i.e. factories. Personally, I feel they are in the middle of Level 7, the lowest level, and Level 6. If only they were more advanced, they could reach Tech Level 0, Transsentiant. And yes, that is the same word given. I was surprised it was not transcendent, but that sounds cooler to me.
3318561
Buddy, chief did find out. He was on the Infinity, hellooooo. Do you not remember that time skip in the game? he must have heard at least one set of people who didn't "need to know" on that ship that were discussing it. Something like that would raise conversation often decades after it was declassified. Chief is intelligent, he would have guessed it to have been declassified when he heard it. I'm certain there is no question of "if" in this matter. Honestly, some RL soldiers can't let people stick to the fiction and fantasy that makes up everyday literature. I respect soldiers, but not the stuffy ones that like to shove something like that down people's throats like know-it-all's. Heck now I'm wondering if you even payed attention to the game too. A time skip is a perfect place to fit in weather he heard it or not in a fanfiction because said time skip leaves room for speculation. DUH!!!! And another thing. The aspects of the clearance system are out there for study, and you'd be surprised how many people, even teens and young adults, look up that stuff just to make fanfictions better. Seriously pal, stick to doin' what you're payed to do and shoot terrorists and shit like that. Don't lecture civies you don't even know, especially if you don't want one lecturin' you back.
No battle, plus, WHY IS IT ENDED AT A CLIFFHANGER! IT SAYS FINISHED ON IT!!!!
A year and a half ago...
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/715/143/dce.jpg
4838101
Wow, I can't believe people still read this. To be honest I was going to make a remastered edition of this, and make it better, but I decided to wait until Halo 5 or even Halo 6 comes out. I wan't to know everything about Chief before I make a story on him now. If Chief dies in Halo 5, I can't imagine how many fics will be about him. My worst fear is Arbiter getting killed in Halo 5 or 6. Unless the Chief and Arbiter go out in a super cool way in a final stand or something similar.
Yes, Chief is out of Character. I was stupid a few years ago, and now I would consider myself a better writer. (If I ever finished a story)
4842029
GGRRrr
[I was about to rant about whether you are going to continue or put this on haitus, but you answered my question.]
GGRRrr
[Hope your new writing skills help you well.]
4903544
Now good day to you sir!
Sorry Mr. Grrr, but to me, this story is all but dead to me. Sort of. Being my second story on here(the first is deleted), I love it like the bastard child a bitch left me. I plan on writing a massive Halo series, in the distant future. I decided to wait until Halo 6 comes out so I can choose where I would like the story to begin. I also want ALL the Information.
5518222
Sir, the snide comment meter is off the charts. Surely if the one who left the comment was aware of the time that this story came out, he or she would understand that this story was written over two years ago. They would also take heed, for the one who posted this story is no longer a petty writer, but a person who can now shoot out a decent story. Lastly, if they were to understand that characters change between peoples' points of views, they could understand that the author of this shit story wasn't even thinking at the time, and was just trying to have a little fun.
Sorry, is this story to terrible for you? Tell me something I don't know. I hate it.
WTF! THIS STORY ISN'T COMPLETE!!!
Damn I read the last chapter
I want more 
Not bad, you did a good job.
wow just wow that was incredibly stupid and way too cringey, i'd rather re-read M.I.A
7139451
Lel
This story sucks ass, tbh...
I can't believe I wrote this garbage.
7863957
LOL