Wrath of the Bannana
It was a cold, dreary night, and Twilight Sparkle (Best Pony) was lounging in her favorite couch, reading her favorite book, wearing her favorite silky bath robe, and sipping her favorite tea.
"This is the most relaxing Saturday night ever." she said calmly to herself, sinking deeper into her purple plushy couch. Spike was out on royal business, owowisiouse was staying with Fluttershy, and most of her friends were out of town on some form of personal matter.
Twilight was nearing her favorite part of her book when she heard a slow knock coming from the library door *knock..........knock..........knock*
Curios as to who would come to a library at the middle of the night she got out of her couch and trotted downstairs to the main entrance and opened the door. Twilight was surprised to see a large, pony sized banana, with long, black, thin arms that ended at oversized white gloves, equally long black legs that ended at big, black and white shoes, and an expressionless face with oversized white eyes, with pupils that seemed to follow her.
"Um, can I help you?" twilight said in a freighted voice. Unnerved by this most unexpected guest she just stood there, unsure of what to do as the Banana just stood there, watching her. 'Um, I think I left my, um, water running, I'd better go." Twilight said in a very creeped out tone. But then, something unexpected happened.
"Can you banana?" The oversized, bipedal Banana said in a monotone British voice. Not moving a muscle except for its mouth, its eyes still glued to the pretty purple unicorn. Twilight shook with fright.
"Um, excuse me?" The scared mare said, trying desperately to make sense of what was going on. Her mind began racing, Is this a dream? Is this real? Did I just fall asleep next to the paint thinners again? But her train of thought was broken when the Banana grabbed her, lifted he r up to its face and said in a chilling British accent
"Can....you....banana....little....pony?" as he stared directly into Twilight's beautiful pony eyes.
Twilight began to struggle against the Banana and shouted "What does that mean? What do you want?" but the Banana only glared at her and tossed her across the room, slamming her into a bookshelf.
"I WANT YOU TO BANNANA!" The Banana man screamed, Twilight, finding her strength used her magic to slam the door into Mr.Bannana's face, sending him flying backwards.
'YOU WILL BANNANA FOR ME!" the crazed fruit shouted as he picked himself up.
Twilight was in overdrive; she bolted up the stairs into her room, locked the door, turned out the lights and hid in a corner.
"What does that thing want?" Twilight said to herself, attempting to wrap her mind around the situation. "Maybe it's a-" but she was cut off as lightning lit up her room, reveling the Banana Man standing outside her balcony door.
"Banana!" he shouted and punched the glass door, leaving it broken into a thousand pieces. He carelessly stepped over the glass and into the house and began to approach Twilight.
Ahhhhhh! Twilight screamed as she bolted passed the Banana Man and down the stairs. She ran into the kitchen closet.
Twilight was panting heavily, trying to regain her breath after her daring bolt away from the banana. Maybe there is something inn hear i can use against the Banana Man! Twilight thought. She peaked out the crack in closet door and saw the Banana man looking under the furniture in the main Library area. She carefully turned on the light and
"Banana!" The banana man appeared in front of her as soon as she turned on the light. Twilight screamed in horror and jumped out of the closet and ran up into her bathroom. She carefully locked the door and sat down on the toilet.
"Why is this happening to me!" Twilight cried, "Why Celestia! Why?" she cried. Twilight curled up into a ball on the floor and continued to cry like a school filly. "Mommy, please make it go away! Mommy! Please make the monsters go away!" she cried over and over again.
After a while she calmed down and walked over to the shower, wanting to wash the tears off her face. She pulled apart the curtains and
"Banana!" The Banana Man was in the shower, wearing a shower cap, and using Twilight's lufa (Or whatever those big yellow bath sponges are called) to scrub his yellow Banana peel skin. Twilight leapt back in shock and ran to the bathroom door and after fiddling with the lock (While the Banana man continued to bath himself) she opened the door and ran screaming bloody murder down the hallway to her bedroom.
Twilight was back to where she started, knowing that the Banana wouldn't stop until he got what he wanted she barricaded the door using her magic and sat down in a corner and cried. After she was done crying she stood up and decided to face the Banana monster one last time, so she went for her golf club when she saw, laying on her bed the Banana Man.
'WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WITH ME!? HUNH? WHAT!" Twilight shouted at the Banana Man, who had gotten up and started closing in on her. Twilight soon found herself up against the wall so she yelled "ANSWER ME YOU FUCKING BANNANA! WHAT DO YOU WANT?" and that was when she saw the Banana Man reach around to his back and pull out an air compressor, like the ones used to blow up balloons.
The Banana Man closed in and Twilight began praying to Celestia that it would be over quickly expecting the Banana Man to kill her but rather the Banana Man grabbed her by her neck and held her down. Twilight gasped thinking it was the end when she felt something small, cold, and hard penetrate her vagina. At first she thought it was the Banana Man raping her, but then felt air coming out of it. It was the air compressor.
At first Twilight was more confused than afraid but that confusion quickly turned into panic as she felt herself swell up like a balloon. Soon, she found herself as a complete puffed up circle, floating in the air.
"What the fuck is this shit?" Twilight said to the Banana Man.
"Banana!" was the Banana Man's only reply as he tossed the air compressor aside, grabbed her tail, and skipped out the door. Carrying Twilight Sparkle like an adorable, pony balloon.
"Ahhh!" Twilight yelled as he woke up. "Oh, it was only a dream, thank Celestia." Relieved the Pretty Purple Pony rolled over and laid her head down. And as soon as she did that.......
"BANNANA!"
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Auuuuugh My soul just came explosively over nine thousand times by the power of Lord Xenu's will and more and etc.
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
another masterpiece.
topnews.in/light/files/Nicolas-Cage_4.jpg
"BRUTALASSMASTER? ENGINEER! ARE YOU SEEING THIS? WHO THE HELL MAKES AN ACCOUNT AND THINKS 'HMM, YOU KNOW WHAT? I WANT TO BE KNOWN AS BRUTALASSMASTER!?" - All I could think of
1582302 Someone who was high at the time, and then sobered up and thought it was funny.
Funny and scary. Neat trick.
1582302
I'M SHOOTIN' PEARLS TO THESE MILKY LICKERS!
That was awful. Bullshit stories like this are a cancer upon this site. But at least you weren't referring to this retard, Ray "Banana Man" Comfort.
im just going to say im a nutral party
but you got a like from me
Interesting oneirology of a lonely frigid librarian. She desires sexual attention, therefor the phallic fruit, but also fears it, therefor it's an antagonist. She flees it's advances and offers at her door, in her room, in the bath and on her bed. But when she will finally be penetrated sexually, she only gets air, a metaphor for nothing, showing she cannot overcome her loveless reality. Finally she is brought outdoors, out of her private sanctum, to be paraded around town, showing all that she is empty inside like a balloon. It is a desperate desire for pity sex that leads her dream to this conclusion, hoping that others, knowing the truth of her loneliness, will judge her worthy of their affection. And her loud declaration of "BANANA" after waking up shows her decision for self empowerment, she will seize the banana with her own hooves and masturbate to relieve her sexual frustrations, eventually working her way up to willing the heart of her own manana.
... now hang on. What's wrong with paint thinners? I've sniffed them for years, and I can honestly say cat warbler mangrove tissue curt fissure jocular cantaloupe weevil tree. So keep that in mind.
I really enjoyed this story, especially for DPV111's explanation!
1583647
I don't know how you did that, but thank you. THANK YOU!
1583078
That video is kind of ironic, from an evolutionary point of view. I lol'd!
God dammit brutal, this was a fucking masterpiece.
1583078 Don't even get me started on the cancer of this wbsite.
1583078 Please, explain.......
1584013 Oh, you do me to much honor.......
1583964 There is nothing wrong with paint thinners, just that they kill shit-tons of brain cells, try morning glory seeds.
Dammit, I was winning this week. Still, I laughed way more than I should have
Poor twi.......
This made me lol at first , but then i felt bad for twi never do this with rarity or you will have another hater!
I give this story 2/10 rarities
1585982 Damn, if I got another hater that would make 2,491.........
1588954
. that kinda sucks
wow really
1589152 It's funny. Haters never cease to amuse me.
What the... Oh well, bananas.