Sixty years before Celestia and Luna became the joint rulers of Equestria, a tribe of creatures terrorized other creatures in the name of the Winged Terror, the Wyvern.
Fast-forward to the present day. An earth pony historian by the name of Golden Plate is visiting Fillydelphia for some information, when he is crashed into by Dream Chaser, a pegasus archaeologist. Dream Chaser invites him to her expedition for the Griffon Emperor. But what will Golden Plate and Dream Chaser find on this trip?
-- Unneccesary commas; the phrase denotes *which* village you're talking about, so it is "essential." Thus, no commas are needed.
--list; should use commas to separate, only one "or"
Other than that, this chapter looks pretty solid. I didn't find any glaring errors in grammar or punctuation. I'll admit though, hyphens are not my strong point, so the part early on where you used so many may or may not be proper. I'm not sure.
On to chapter 2!
-- The list started, but never finished. You might want to change it from a comma to the word "and." Not sure if it's wrong, but it seems like it would help the flow.
-- I'm not familiar with the word "whit." Did you mean "bit", or is this just a sign of my regional vocabulary coming into play?
-- Unnecessary comma.
--Might consider phrasing it "...and realized..." This would be proper, as it creates a compound sentence, but removes the comma and clears things up. Again, not sure if it's wrong. Just looks like an attractive alternative.
--Repetition? Sounds like an extra word in there.
--Unecessary comma. You only need a comma if the phrase after it includes a new subject. Good rule of thumb: If it could stand alone as its own sentence, add a comma. If not, then don't.
-- Awkward wording. I recommend deleting the word "for."
--Seems awkward. Might consider "...forever, but at least he had..."
--Your comma is in the wrong place. Should be "... towards Golden saying, "Ya look like..."
--Your punctuation is in the wrong place. Should be "...you could use it." "
--Rule of thumb, Punctuation always comes next to the quotation marks: outside at the beginning, inside at the end.
--Unecessary comma.
--First comma is unecessary.
--First comma is uncessary.
--Needs a comma: "...said, "Water's..."
--I know commas work, but I'm not sure about hyphens.
--Unnecessary comma.
--Unnecessary comma.
--"...call me Dream..." Proper noun.
--Comma splice. Needs either a semicolon, or a new sentence.
--"...though..."
--Awkward wording. Specifically "Celebrating that..." Maybe "celebrating the Griffon Emperor's approval of our dig..." Could just be me though.
--When closing a quotation with a statement and following it with the speaker, you use a comma, not a period. Like this: "...I would be glad to help you," Golden said with a smile."
Again.. not bad overall. Looks like commas are your weak point. Don't worry, I know a lot of folks who hate commas too.
The story sounds like it was inspired by Indiana Jones a bit... Well, you've got a follower now... so good luck!
If you need any more chapters proofread, just drop me a line. I'll help out if I can.