What happens when you mix a very annoying narrator with an obnoxious protagonist?
Simple...
CHAOS!!!
with an addition of a very well-known purple unicorn, we will have a ride of our lives.
Chapters (1)
rx64
Joined 21st Oct, 2012 ·
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CHOO CHOO! What was that? A train? Wierd... that's off schedule... Oh, right, it's a stolen train. I am asmcint and I will be giving a completely unofficial review. Despite the train, I am not an official TWE reviewer. So I stole the train. Got a problem? Okay, on to the review. I clicked the link to the chapter and...
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Seriously. What is this rambling nonsense that makes my eyes bleed red rivers? Ugh...
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Why? Because you're about to get one hell of an ass reaming. Your formatting is garbage. Your perspective is garbage. I cannot tell who is talking at any one time, the entire thing rambles and rambles and rambles, and it deserves to be killed with fire. Seriously, you've taken an overused narrator perspective, and warped the entire thing into one big trollfic of badness. (I assume this is meant to be a trollfic.) Scrap this shit, take some lessons on the English language and formatting, read a few books and learn how to properly tell a story, then come back and submit something that isn't complete shit.
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Asmcint, the moody train-thief.
Edit: I just checked the list: Apparently I am an approved reviewer and I just never saw any form of notification. WOOHOO!!!!!