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BubuJones

Joined November 2011
29 followers

Stories (2)

  • Lodestar
    Trixie strives to reach her ultimate goal of becoming great and powerful through Luna's teachings.

    44,264 words · 1,750 views · 129 likes · 5 dislikes
  • My Dearest Students
    Immortality can at times be a double edged sword. Celestia recalls past memories of dear students.
    36,220 words · 1,268 views · 40 likes · 1 dislikes

Blog Posts (3)

146
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A journey to become great and powerful...

Trixie strives to reach this ultimate goal; but rather than simply proclaiming her skill, she will be forced to overcome many obstacles and adapt to her changing circumstances in order to ensure her success. She must face the new challenges set before her; but when adversaries emerge, enemies-turned-friends may be Trixie's only hope.

First Published
20th Oct 2012
Last Modified
13th Jan 2014

Comments ( 146 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 5d ago · · ·

Proof reading and sounding board with my good and awesome friend, Starfall. Thank you very much for all your support and help.

Cover art by the talented Empty-10 at deviantArt.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Huzzah, it's up! :pinkiehappy: This was a pleasure to help out with.

#3 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

Interesting. While I feel Twilight's barrage of insults went a bit longer than they should have, I particularly enjoyed this. Plus who can pass up a story with their favorite three ponies tagged, am I right? Nicely written and well detailed. You have earned a like and a star my friend.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

Trixie entering a tournament to become Luna's protege?  I love Trixie, but I see her chances right now as slim and none...and slim has a foot out the door.  Please prove me wrong.

#5 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1476258

Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

>>1476403

Totally understand what you're saying, and I agree. But don't worry, I've got it all planned out :pinkiesmile:

#6 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

What's this? A Trixie adventure fic? You have no idea how rare these are. That or I just can't find any. Looking forward to this. :twilightsmile:

#7 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I think the only thing that would make me happier with this story is if Twilight and Trixie hit it off. Twixie and TwiLuna are my favorite ships. And adventure ships are my favorite stories! :pinkiehappy:

And spam on a start to such a wonderful read? Really? You should be ashamed...

Edit: Yay! Spam is gone!

#8 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1476802

You may be pleasantly surprised in later chapters :pinkiehappy:

#9 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

You have now made me very antsy for your next chapter. I do hope it will be a long one...:unsuresweetie:

#10 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Damn! First chapter and I'm already hooked. Congratulations! :pinkiehappy:

I can already tell that this fic has the potential to be a really great story and (IMO) will likely be (should be) in the feature box by at least the fifth chapter, if not sooner.

An interesting tweak on a oft-used story premise, very few to no typos (save for: "You, on the other hand, should not be here." Should probably be hoof but, given it's the phrase "on the other hand", it doesn't really bother me.) and very good, well-written prose.

Even the title is good. Given what I assume the main hook of the story is gonna be, judging by the description and character tags, calling the story Lodestar makes a lot of sense, given its multiple definitions.

The Lodestar: The brightest star in the constellation Ursa Minor. :trixieshiftleft:

A Lodestar: Any star used in celestial navigation

Also, I agree with Ducky. While I'm sure the story would be fine without it, having some :trixieshiftright::twilightblush: would simply be the icing on the cake for me (and many others). It wouldn't (shouldn't) be a major plot point, this being an Adventure story (hence the tag), but instead a subplot sprinkled throughout the story. Some of the best "ships" I've read have been subplots in bigger stories. The final decision is entirely up to you, though.

Keep up the good work!


P.S. Twixie please? Sorry, I just really like the pairing. : )

Edit: Just saw your response to Ducky. You just made me very happy. :yay:

#11 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

>>1476258

It's Twilight in Trixie's dreams, so I think her mannerism is justified :twilightsheepish:

Nice beginning :twilightsheepish: I'd really know what happens next... :pinkiecrazy: Romance stories ftw :twilightsmile:

#12 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

I miss when StarFall was MY internet friend several months ago! But I haven't heard from that sweetheart in so long... *makes deredere face*

Comment on my things once and a while... *blushes*

Anyways...

...

Well, this was one of those rare fics that suck you in immediately and seem to bury themselves more and more into your mind as you go on. I actually made something like an 'awwwwwwww' sadface when it ended. I'm happy to have found it and take a fav. :twilightsmile:

In terms of constructive criticism, well (note that these are mostly things that are just my opinions I suppose)=

1) I would avoid terms like "An azure-coated mare with a silvery-blue mane" and "The lavender mare’s magic". That kind of prose might be niggling distractions. There's nothing wrong with just using there names over and over again.

2) You have a lot of short paragraphs. That's not that big of a deal, but it does contribute to a sort of choppy-kind of feeling. I get that this is a dream, but still the prose style does feel jarring a bit.

3) You say things like "she thought" and otherwise treat thoughts like dialogue. I don't think that's a good idea. Like look at:

Here I am... she thought uncertainly as she arrived in the main square, unsure as to where or how to begin. What am I even doing? was a question Trixie had not bothered to ask herself before.

I think that would be better as something like:

Here I am... Pure uncertainly seemed to ripple through her senses as she arrived in the main square, not knowing where or how to begin. What am I even doing? Trixie had not bothered to ask herself things like that before, frowning.

4)There is also a bit of a thinness in terms of the prose. I would beef up things just a bit to refer to what the ponies are doing with their hooves, their eyes, their ears, et cetera.

Oh, and minor thing, but I think that She was the one that had saved her own town, using her own magic; the one that had stood firm in the face of danger even as Trixie ran away in fear. is wrong because of the semi-colon (the latter part is not a sentence).

#13 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

How will it be judged hmmm? How can she find who is skilled, talented, or actually having unreached potential?

#14 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · · ·

>>1477965

All of those questions will be adressed :twilightsmile:

#15 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Trixie is a evil, terrible pony, but I want to be proved wrong! :pinkiehappy:

#16 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I love Trixie/Luna fanfics :pinkiehappy:

#17 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Okay... got my attention, here. In a good way, mind. Trixie... I am so admittedly biased to her. *Points to avatar* Good read on her, here. I wonder... how will you present the events in Ponyville?

#18 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

Well Well Well, this seems to be good. :rainbowkiss:

#19 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1480950

I'm glad I've gotten your attention, and I hope I don't disappoint! :twilightsheepish:

>>1479690

I love them too... :yay:

>>1480961

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

#20 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · · ·

>>1477389

So happy you enjoyed it! And to adress the whole Twixie thing a bit more, yes I love that ship too... so... lets just see what happens :twilightsmile:

>>1477761

Thanks a lot for your input! I value any and all kinds of constructive criticisms, and I'll make sure to take all of that into account for future chapters.

#21 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>1480950>>1477761

Well, well, well, if it isn't my old buddies, Striker and Swiper :3

#22 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

An excellent beginning so far. I am curious as to how this shall go.

#23 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>1481331

Hey!

>>1481311

Alright, maybe you might also want to talk to some of the guys in the shipping groups here too and see what they think... :twilightsmile:

#24 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

>>1482710

Hey yourself. :pinkiehappy:

#25 · Chapter 1 · 91w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

This has got my attention. Looking forward to how events fold out for our plucky mare.

I'll echo some of the criticism above. Lot's of telly issues in the second half of the chapter. I'm one to talk, as I fall victim to the same, but keep working on it to improve!

#26 · Chapter 1 · 87w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

moar javascript:smilie(':flutterrage:');

#27 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · · ·

Sorry for the super long wait! Had lots of stuff going on. I'll try having future updates come much faster :twilightsmile:

#28 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Yes update! :pinkiehappy: Love this story. Glad to see a new chapter.

#29 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

i loves it im gonna tell every pony about this  

#30 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Life goes on.  I understand.:twilightsmile:

As for this chapter, it's nice to know how Luna came up with the idea of the tournament.  I'm just interested in knowing how Luna is going to hold a tournament without any participants getting injured.  Also, how the heck is Trixie going to get anywhere in this tournament?  Her magic is mainly tricks and fireworks.  I can see Trixie and Luna connecting as student and teacher, they both know about loneliness, but I don't like Trixie's odds of getting to that point.

Anyway, I hope another update comes sooner rather than later, but like I said...'Life goes on.'

#31 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

I'd say the whole 'tournament' thing depends on what Luna tosses in as contests.  And it seems she may have a very hooves-on approach to designing them.

Meanwhile, it might be good if in the future you noted flashback chapters as such.  It took me a while to get my mind in line chronologically.

#32 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Interesting. Luna seems a bit like a filly in this new day and age. Having to adapt and change based on recent events is certainly a monumental task for her. I like the new take of her being more underprepared to deal with things in a new time in a cute way. This Luna is nice to see rather than the always stout and wise Luna you see most of the time. I must admit even I went with the flow on that one. Still loving it so far.

#33 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

Let the trials begin!!!!!!

#34 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

>>1779822

Can you elaborate on that? For me it was rather obvious that the chapter deals with the past as soon as the 7th paragraph came up (which still is first page).

Personally, I like the more subtle approach with the flashback, since the author doesn't have to jump in time multiple times in a single chapter.

#35 · Chapter 1 · 84w, 2d ago · 1 · ·

i read your story seven times next time i do i get a free coffee

#36 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Best pony? Check. Best pony realizing her own weakness? Check.  Best pony not talking in the third person? Check. I absolutely adore the way you characterized Princess Luna, and opening the story the way you did breaks my heart. I'm hoping you have good things planned for Trixie in later chapter, but please don't rush it. This is shaping up to be a great story. I wanna see my favorite showmare  go far, and I know you won't disappoint!

#37 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 22h ago · · ·

Thanks, everyone, for all the kind words! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story so far. And don't worry about any questions you have about the story. So far, I'm pretty sure I've got all your questions covered :twilightsmile:

Again, thank you all very much!

#38 · Chapter 2 · 84w, 3m ago · 1 · ·

Pretty good, here. I think Trixie would fit in quite well with Luna. She's not as powerful as twilight, but so far she outclesses just about every other unicorn we've seen. And can do at least one thing Twilight can't. :trixieshiftright:

#39 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>1794469

I wonder what that thing would be. Being evil? :trixieshiftleft:

#40 · Chapter 2 · 83w, 6d ago · 1 · ·

>>1794737 Actually, weather manipulation.

#41 · Chapter 2 · 76w, 5d ago · · ·

It pains me that this story went belly up. Pains me!

#42 · Chapter 2 · 76w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2060936

Fear not! Bubu is still working on the next three chapters. :pinkiehappy:

#43 · Chapter 2 · 73w, 5d ago · · ·

When are we getting a new chapter?:twilightsheepish:

#44 · Chapter 2 · 73w, 2d ago · · ·

>>2167387

So sorry about the wait! College and stuff... This coming weekend, I promise!

#45 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 5d ago · · ·

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU...

#46 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 5d ago · · ·

Wow, what a jerk. Whatever happened to sportsmanship? Oh right, it never existed.

#47 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Why that son of a... I'LL HAVE YOU EVICTED FROM THE APPLE FAMILY, YOU HEAR MW?!

#48 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Looks like Trixie was suckered again.  Now chances of her making that tournament is slim and none.  If by some miracle she does make it, what condition will she be in?  That is not looking good.  Not good at all.

#49 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 4d ago · · ·

Poor Trixie

#50 · Chapter 3 · 72w, 3d ago · · ·

Oh, i hope she gets there and all four of his legs are broken. :flutterrage: I hope this is the bottom and Trixie begins working her way up.

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