Limits are not always drawn in the sand. They must be found through experimentation, though such a practice may force one to exceed them.
David awoke early the following morning, though he did not rise immediately. The strange sounds of Pinkie throwing herself around the room below kept him from getting any more rest, even if he was compelled to seek it. For now, he was content to stare up at the ceiling, enjoying a time of thoughtless relaxation. Soon the pink pony had finished her bizarre routine and retreated downstairs.
David rose slowly, moving over to the balcony to ensure that Pinkie was, in fact, gone. Satisfied that he was alone, he retrieved his newly acquired clothes, which had rested beside him through the night, and began to undress. He moved swiftly, and remained out of any direct view from the windows, for obvious reasons. Oddly enough, true privacy was hard to come by in Ponyville. He didn't exactly have a place of his own, though.
As he unbuttoned his jeans, a strange thought struck him. Something obvious that he should have thought of by now, but didn't. Come to think of it, it did feel rather strange...
"...WHAT THE FU-" David shrieked before he censored himself, clasping a hand over his mouth. He stared, wide eyed, down at himself. At what wasn't there. As if it had never been there.
After a few more seconds of stunned silence, David's gaze drifted upward to stare at the wall directly in front of him, realizing the commotion he must've caused. With frenzied speed he hiked up his new pants and threw his old clothes onto his makeshift bed, tossing the discarded sheet over them. Sure enough, his earth pony roommate trotted up the stairs moments later, looking up at him quizzically.
"Something wrong Mr. David? I heard you scream!"
"No, no no. Everything's fine, Pinkie, sorry," he explained hurriedly, moving over to the balcony to wave nervously at the equine below.
"...Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie exclaimed with a smile, not prying any further as she turned back toward the stairs. "Nice clothes by the way!" she called as she made her way back down.
"Yeah...thanks..." David murmured, leaning heavily against the railing. He wasn't sure how to react to this, beyond his initial outburst. It did not feel like an unnatural change, as strange as that was. That would explain why he hadn't noticed before now. It definitely seemed like an alteration he would swiftly discover...
In slightly less disturbing news, the clothes fit him very well. He had figured the pockets would cause Rarity some difficulty, having to account for where his hands would need to reach, but she executed it flawlessly. His pants were quite comfortable as well, made of a material that felt softer than anything he had experienced in his world. Though by all appearances, it seemed just like normal fabric. Remarkable.
As he moved down the stairs from the balcony, he caught a glimpse of himself in a nearby mirror. He didn't look half bad in his Equestrian garb. Perhaps, he wondered, this meant he was closer to becoming one of the locals.
His carefree thoughts were swiftly vanquished when he reminded himself of his predicament. Cut off from his home, with no apparent hope of return. He had tried to avoid thinking about the life he knew, especially with such low chances of returning to it. But these thoughts occasionally leaked into his mind, sending a twinge of pain and hopelessness tearing through him. He had to keep his mind occupied to prevent this. Thankfully, with all that was going on around him, there wasn't a shortage of distractions.
Eventually he decided to visit Twilight. Again. He wished to know if she had any word from the Princess, as unlikely as it would be, especially so soon after their meeting. As well, he wished to ask the unicorn a few more questions about Equestria. He was curious both of the answers and the possibility of another anomaly. He would be sure not to induce one if he could help it, but there was no guarantee.
A short walk later, he was knocking at the door of the library. He did not feel compelled to stealthily enter as he did before, which meant some sort of progress. He gave the door a few solid knocks as he looked around. Almost immediately his eyes (and the eyes of a few ponies around him) were drawn to something in the distance. Three small figures, moving amongst the populace, dressed strangely and armed with odd instruments.
"Oh hell not again."
His knocks gradually grew in volume and frequency as he realized his proximity to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He was practically beating on the door by the time it was finally answered. Twilight regarded him with considerable confusion, but he did not even give her time to speak.
"HitwilightcanIcomeinplease?" he said immediately, the words blending together in a garbled mess. He was practically inching inside the door by the time the unicorn responded.
"Uh...sure, David."
She moved to the side and he darted in, turning immediately around as if the three fillies would be pouncing on him from behind. Twilight closed the door slowly with her magic, a brow raised at his behavior. As soon as the door was closed, he exhaled deeply and relaxed.
"Thanks," he breathed, straightening up.
"Should I even ask?"
"Cutie Mark Monster Catchers. Enough said," he explained with a frown.
"Oh those fillies!" Twilight exclaimed with a chuckle, trotting back toward the center of the room. "Were you here for something, or were you just hoping to hide?" she asked with a smirk.
"A few more questions, if you please," he responded, following her as she moved. A thought struck him. "Oh, and...Did you happen to come across a sort've-blank book downstairs?"
"I did," Twilight replied with a nod. Her horn glowed brightly for a moment, as a plain, unmarked book floated down from one of the top shelves, landing on a table in front of him. "It helped me figure out what exactly happened down there."
"Yeah...sorry about that," David replied with a frown, picking up the book. "Thanks for keeping it around though."
"Not a problem," Twilight responded with a smile. "You wanted to ask more questions...?"
"Oh!" David exclaimed, putting the book down once more. "If you have the time, anyway."
"I don't see why not," she responded, blinking. He took a seat on the couch, as he had done a few days prior.
"...What happened to the changelings?" he asked, once again moving to the edge of his seat. It was as good a place to start as any.
"You've heard about them?" Twilight replied, turning to look at him with some semblance of worry.
"Uh...yeah..." David started, thinking quickly. "Pinkie told me a few days ago. Told me all about the wedding in Canterlot and all the fun she had there." Twilight seemed to relax slightly at this, though he could tell she wasn't buying it completely.
"Princess Celestia told me that although they disappeared for a time after the wedding, she has heard reports of changeling activity in Manehattan and Fillydelphia," Twilight explained as she returned to her work, apparently searching for some text or another.
"Wow," David replied, reacting to this information on multiple levels. "Aren't they all about disguise?"
"For the most part, yes," Twilight responded. "But we've become increasingly well at detecting them. Certain spells can be used to identify them, but the more they feed off the love of ponies, the more powerful they become, and the more difficult it is for conventional magic to detect them."
"Sounds like quite the threat," he murmured, frowning. It was interesting, however. Nothing he heard since he departed from his world said anything about continued changeling activity. Reciting the past that didn't exist: impossible. Creating a future by itself: apparently quite possible.
"According to the Princess, they've been completely run out of Manehattan and Fillydelphia," Twilight continued, trotting over to another bookshelf. "But she thinks they are up to something. So far they haven't been found close to Ponyville, so I don't think there is a cause for alarm."
"That's good," David replied with some unease. He didn't exactly like the idea of hostile creatures lurking in the shadows. He wondered how safe Ponyville really was. He paused for a moment, thinking. "What about Shining Armor and Princess Cadance?"
Twilight turned to look at him again, as if once again concerned by the amount of information he had. "They've been away since the wedding, on honeymoon. They've been through a lot, and deserve time to enjoy each other's company."
"What have you been up to since then?" the man asked, leaning back on the couch. "Besides dealing with my continued antics," he added with a smirk.
The unicorn smiled. "I've been continuing my studies on the magic of friendship here in Ponyville," she replied proudly. "I make sure the library is well kept, and I help with a few planning problems each week."
"Quite the agenda for one pony," David responded, stroking his chin absently.
"I don't always go at it alone," she replied with a smile. "My friends are some of the most reliable ponies in Equestria." She paused. "I'm sorry, but are those new clothes?"
"Yep," David replied, sitting up to show off the intricate design on his shirt. "Rarity made them for me, as a gift. I am beyond satisfied."
"That was very kind of her," Twilight said, moving closer to observe the man's clothes. "They are really quite amazing!"
The two continued to talk idly for a few minutes before David took his leave. He actually remembered to ask about the Princess, and wasn't very disheartened when Twilight told him she had no further contact. He had no safe questions to ask the unicorn, and she seemed rather preoccupied with her own work, so he did not wish to impose any further. He left the library slowly, making sure the coast was clear before moving completely out of the building, journal and quill in hand.
He had some long overdue work to do.
I wonder if he can shatter the fourth wall and get home with a paradox
RIP lil David
Let me get this straight...
David lost his manhood?
its GONE! This better be some sort of horrible magic prank by twilight
Oh man, when those crusaders finally reach thier target, THAT will be ONE HELL of an awesome chapter!
Keep up the outstanding work!
Just a head's up: I will be attempting to combine a few of the earlier chapters. I apologize for any confusion caused, I just don't feel right leaving such small chapters compared to the latest ones.
And of course, thank you all for your interest in the story.
Um, twilight, this is the most awkward question I've ever asked anyone, ever, and is probably a contender for the most awkward question ever asked by a sentient creature, but I seem to have lost my reproductive organs, and this is disturbing me greatly. Could you help me figure out where they went?
Thar goes the John Thomas.
you monster, YOU MONSTER: you can't just simply take away someones manhood. still, I like where this is going.
OH SHIT! dude musta shit bricks at that!
1526567
Somehow I see that statement followed with comedic porno theme music.
He's morphing into a cartoon character! They don't have to reproduce!
His manhood is gone....OMG NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I can't wait for another installment of this. It's one of the better human stories I've ever read.
10/10. I love it.
Now wonder the CMC are after him....
This is getting really really good
ahahah poor David lost his manhood
what i want to see, is for him to go exploring past the edges of onscreen ponyville and its surrounding countryside. should there be a blank wrongness there? The Nothing?(cue reference)
Oh dear. He's lost his willy
1526533
Please leave as is. It is fine. There is many chapters to read now.
It is rather confusing when story is updated and nothing new seems to be in place.
1526686 i read this at a funeral, as the pastor was saying my war hero grandad was a great man, and i laughed like a hyena on laughing gas.
A moment of scilence for a lost brother
* Pours one out for the fallen family jewels *
Just a thought but at least now he has no reason to be modest about changing in front of ponies. What's to hide anymore?
1527204
Glad I livened it up I guess. Not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.
1527468 it was epic, it was so awkward that everyone else started laughing. we all needed a laugh
1527481
I'm glad to hear it then.
1527495 god, i'm still laughing
*winces*
Poor guy.
...Wait, I thought Equestrian had a different alphabet than English? How did Twilight learn to read it?
What, did she use a Decryption spell or something?
1526567
" 'Reproductive organs'? What do you mean?"
fc03.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/170/5/4/spike_nooo_by_physicallypossible-d3jcqgv.jpg
1527742
Lol, didn't someone in the comments just before this chapter say "the universe will erase his manhood" or something to that extent?
Somepony's psychic.
Oh wait:
i.imgur.com/KMe5V.png
You really are phychic...
...That's why he hasn't had to pee. That's...David, you poor bastard
1527190
Don't worry, I only altered two chapters. So -2 from before, still lots of chapters to read, and makes me feel a little better
And I have to say, some of these comments are hilarious.
Please, let the CMC capture him in the next chapter, I'd like to read what's gonna happen
Oh dude... pretty soon he'll be able to take a frying pan to the face and walk away from it.
KARMA
This is the most disturbing thing I've read. You should be ashamed. ASHAMED!!!
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LOL LOLLOL LOL
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1526567
*JUMP CUT*
I assume earth suddenly sounds more appealing now with the new discovery.... .... I don't think it's really all that important in this universe, but still... that's just cruel.. 8th Amendment bro.
In all honesty he should be freaking out considerably more than he is about losing his..... parts...
1529593 Don't worry, he's just suppressing his insanity. While we all know how that ends it shall be entertaining to watch.
for some reason now i don't want to go to equestria.cough cough lose my dick cough cough.
I think you mean good at detecting them. Other than that good chapter. Hope you update more soon!
Hah, I think it's funny he's so worried about something so insignificant compared to what he's experiencing. He's in PONYVILLE!
It'll be interesting to see how all this casual action leads to a climax. The Twilight chase scene was so worth it after all the buildup and I can only imagine where this is leading. Princess Celestia informed of another universe. Twilight and Rarity acting strange when approached with certain questions. Changeling info popping up. CMC ready to do battle with David. Something's gotta give.
1529756 Well it's not like you were gonna use it right?
1532276 there is always cloping...
1534303 If nobody else has genitals it's not all that useful for you to have any. Best to avoid awkward situations. In the end he can either panic or be philosophical about it right?
1534317 yeah but , it's the johnny bro the fucking johnny...
1534330 I know Hopefully it's not permanent.