This lookz rather interesting... Keep it up!

Why serdadu! This is most interesting.

And my inner grammar Nazi found nothing to nitpick at, so double points for you!

Though, I am most curious... The name of your protagonist... It is polish, is it not? I'd be delighted to get an answer regarding that.

Love,

-Cortex Repository

I don't see why this is being thumbed down...

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My first first that wasn't a bot! Hello and thanks!

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I intend to.

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That was the idea. I don't know if Stepanowski is actually a Polish name, but it sounds like it. But now that I googled it, I found that people actually have that name. ANY SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MY PROTAGONIST AND ANY REAL PEOPLE IS ACCIDENTAL!

And my inner grammar Nazi won't let me post anything that has obvious flaws.

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Alicorn OCs. 'nuff said. Either that or mature without clop. People will have to learn to deal with it though. My story ideas always involve alicorns somehow.

1447410 Stefanowski would be actually more Polish name ;] Stepanowski sounds a little like a name for guy who have been raised in Poland but his parents were born in Russia . But name is actually good, I was thinking that maybe you are one of my "own" ;D

Alexander is good way to write this name to be easier to read to everybody else. Originally this is "Aleksander" but you read it exactly like "Alexander" anyway.

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It sure is a Polish name my good serdadu!

And good to know that your inner proper, groomed self won't allow crap to flow out of your mouth and fingers. That's good to know indeed.

I thought you were a fellow Pole here for a moment serdadu, but my hopes/fears were unnecessary as it appeared that you, serdadu, are not polish.

And neither are you nail polish. That would have been just silly.

Love and Heil Grammar,

-Cortex Repository

Well I'm going to fav this story to keep an eye on it. Looks nice. And I like Craig already. Briliant person.

Good premise so far, curious where this is going to lead. Dunno why you've got down votes going already, there is nothing negative worthy in the story so far.

Faved and I'll NE following it for future updates, thanks for sharing with us.

Well this is good, expect to be mentioned in my next blog post!

Rated mature, no clop, not planned at this time, nothing to do here.

loved that last line! watching this story, next chapter soon pls

I don't normally read fan-made fictional stories. But when I do, however, it's about phones that poop out magical ponies from alternate dimensions.

Well done, you have piqued (NOT peaked) my interest, and with only one thing I need to question:

The fritzing computers made every customer and exercise in patience, much less the ones who did it for themselves, so the morning?

"an exercise", but when you say the ones who did it for themselves, do you mean the customers struggling with self-service mixing machines?

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I have nearly every anglo-saxon and nordic country in me somewhere, but alas, Polish is something I am lacking. I think. I should check with my mom on that since she has all the records. I just needed a name, and remembering a friend I used to have who was Polish, I thought that such a name would be a bit different and very interesting. If there's anything off with it, just consider it "Americanized."

As for speaking rubbish; I do my best not to, but my brain works faster than my mouth so I tend to jumble several different ways of saying something in to one sentence. Writing is easier that way because I can plan and edit it better!

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Well. Clop is not completely off the table, and I'm still planning the later portions, but I don't want anyone coming here expecting specifically to see graphic sex scenes. The Teen rating makes me think "PG-13" and the Mature rating makes me think "NC-17." I intend this story to be very "R," but there doesn't seem to be a clear rating for that.

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Hi, "The Most Interesting Reader in the Comments Section!"

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I meant that the customers were ornery enough because of the computers going haywire, much less the customers who were normally ornery on their own. I'll clarify that. Thanks!

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Well, yeah, the name is "English-turned", but it is still a polish name. Props to you for not calling him Jones or something else!

And the whole shop scene? Made me think about how customers in Poland behave all the time.

I was eluded for a moment that the story actually takes place there for a bit! Hah!

And yeah, when will, O Glorious and Powerful Master of All Mister Writer, the next chapter come out, serdadu?

Love,

-Cortex Repository

moar

Please write more... I want to see why one of them was... bleeding?

LOVED IT!!!!!

Wow, you actually got me rolling in mirth a few times there, not gliggling, not chuckling, but full belly-laughter! My younger brother even came in to find out what was so funny and he almost ended up on the floor too!

Oh god I lost it at the end xDD this is an interesting story after the next chapter I think I'll upvote this :D I'm intrigued

+1 for Exalted

Consider me hooked!
And Craig's comment at the end? Priceless!

"Dude, your phone just shit out a pony!"

Aaaaaaand sold! To the man with the ODST being stalked by an overzealous multichromatic pegasus!

Reading the shit out of this and no one can stop me.

Two errors I remember spotting:

"At least he was not yelling while customers where in the store."

Change to "were."

"The fritzing computers made every customer and exercise in patience..."

Change to "an."

That last line made me literally shriek with laughter.

"Hey Alex, I thought you were going to marry her." said the portly middle-aged man with the sausage fingers as he leaned against the doorframe.

The bit after the dialogue isn't a complete sentence, so it should be attached by ending the quote in a comma: marry her," said the portly middle-aged man.

"Fuck it, I'm going for a smoke!" Came his faint, very angry call from the back.

Similarly, "Came" should be uncapitalized to indicate that it's part of a dependent clause attached to the preceding quote, and not the beginning of a complete sentence.

You know I never say this because it's bullshit, and most people who ever say it are bullshitting themselves. But, this is a very unique way to start an HiE story, let's hope the rest holds up.

Expert trolling my friend. But with great trolling, comes great responsibility.

this is what happens when u troll a pony!

This story is gold! Love it!

elfinity.tripod.com/mepage/mefizban.jpg FIZBAN. loving this so far

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Ah yes, Fizban. The most misunderstood and often ignored of the major deities. It's funny how so few seem to notice that his "fuck ups" tend to also be exactly what was needed.

That reminds me, I need to get the whimsy back in my story. It's just so hard when trying to keep the drama rolling.

Holy shit...a Brony in Equestria story that doesn't suck but rather exceeds expectations? Well done, sir. Have a like and fave!

Where's it at?
I like to type my messages with proper grammar.

Bullshit you like proper grammar. If you did, you'd know not to end a sentence with a preposition!

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Yeah, yeah. Chapter 1 is the really sucky one. I wrote six thousand words in one day and I still cringe when I think about how it turned out. There's far too much snark (left over from the original version of it) and not enough me having experience. I'm debating whether to give it a very thorough revising at some point. On one hand it deserves to be better than it is. On the other it's sort of neat having it as-is for posterity - seeing how far I've come and all that.

Fact: Tolkien didn't create his languages for his stories, he wrote his stories for his languages. The languages came first, then the stories.

Okay, Shachza...you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention. This is VERY well-written and I cant wait to see how it develops.

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troll.me/images/dwight-schrute/fact.jpg

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I knew he'd designed the languages and then paired creatures to them. Like he wrote down his stuff on elvish and then decided that it would be elves that spoke it because they seemed to fit together. I hadn't heard that the actual stories were developed because of that. It makes sense. The languages would have evolved along with the civilizations, so the history of the peoples would play into it.

You reminded me that I need to take my language notes and put them in a separate file; my one "notes" file is getting too large for me to easily find things like individual Equestrian words.

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And this is the poorly-written chapter too...

*looks intently at my DROID*

well go ahead, shit out a pony for me next!

WHOOH MAN THIS STORY IS AMAZING YOU ARE A BIG GENIUS
Craig face: i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/077/Raisins_Face.jpg

The set-up for this story is brilliant. I love how a sequence of strange misdirected texts that could have been left alone at any point developed into an actual thing. The setting seems well thought-out so far. I'm excited to read further!

I've finally gotten to this story… after more than a year. I’m the farthest from timely about these things. I’m a terrible friend—0 out of 5, would not even lend a pencil to.

Naw, it’s just that I’ve been wary of reading this because of the mature tag, but I’ve resolved just to read it and stop when it gets to the mature part. And so far, I like it!

Since I’m such a bum writer, I can’t tell you much more about this than “I’m interested”. :P The funny bits are funny, the characters are distinct and interesting… You’ve captured my interest and got me wanting more.

I’m looking forward to the adventures of Englebert Humperdink. I shall continue on to the next chapter as soon as I can, probably before 2015 rolls around.

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I’m a terrible friend—0 out of 5, would not even lend a pencil to.

Pfffft. If it's not your thing, then it's not your thing. A bad friend would be one who either doesn't read for no good reason, or tries to force someone to read. I'm not going to do the latter if you're put off by either the tags or the content, though I would like to hear that you've read it. (So, !) I'm just impressed that you're managing to read it at all, what with your parents.

And if it helps, so far the only mature stuff is some vulgar language and a little bit of nudity. There will not be any major gore, and sexy stuff is a long way off.

so all of this guys problems (over the day) was because cellestia had gas? (way to go sunbutt )

Yellow alicorn? Hmmm.....

Well samsung tablet? Could you please shit out a pony from your information/charging port?
then we work on a teleporter, record a video so it doesn't look like I was kidnapped, and I teleport to thier world.

So this is a story where the ponies have computers? Not sure if like.

Unwilling wait at the store over this, I closed up and got out of there.

Unwilling to wait

Reading this greatfic again, and I just have to ask:Who is the Unconquered Sun he prays to? Celestia? I know later he thanks Luna, so it doesn't seem too big a stretch, yet the sun is so popular in mythology I didn't want to assume.