Chapter 1: Rainbow and Pinkie enjoy Pinkie's new toy. Consensual bondage and anal.
That sums it up
>>9767897678 couldn't say it any better myself
Totally clopfiction. And well-written, at that.
You're telling me.
Thanks. I've gotten a huge review of it from another reader on eqad, but it will be a while until I have time for expansion editing.
Yes, there will be more. I may even have a plot at some point. Well, a story plot. I've got enough pony-ass.
Clarification for Cloudy
The current density of pony-ass is at an acceptable level. Better?
Ya know, I usually don't read clop (don't they all say that?), but this was actually really fantastic.
I really liked how you didn't go about it in an extremely explicit way. I know I, for one, feel terribly awkward when the author goes into tremendous detail about well, uh... Genitals and such. Haha.
Plus, your writing style is awesome. Your words flow incredibly well and the emphasis on the 'better-not-be-pink' was a nice touch.
Gewd job. :3
Thanks. I too dislike anatomy lessons and absolutely loath the term 'nether lips'.
My next one will probably have a little more in terms of explicit details, but I'm never going to get into medical detail like some fics.
That was so awesome
That was such a fun read, really, that was just great. It doesn't have to be super detailed if you can make it FUN, and I really don't even need to go on now do I?
I'm so totally tracking you now
I don't usually read clopfics. But when I do, I read ones that aren't super detailed and are actually fun to read like this one.
I agree I dislike super detailed descriptions of anatomy, I'd rather know what he ponies are feeling.
That said I found the total aversion of specification in certain scenes a little vague.
I don't want to have to think with my big brain abut what's going on in a scene while my little brain is in charge.
That said, even dispute the huge amount of (mostly) minor issues I have with this fic, it's still in my top 10 for best clopfics.
I have a hugelong review somepony gave me, and now that the holidays are over I will try to clean this up.
My normal editors either don't review clop or got... distracted while reading it. So it's pretty much unedited and typed out in < 4 hours or so.
Oh? "Hugelong"? What a flattering description.
It's the longest review of any of my writing I have ever received.
Even the onemansponyrambling blog thing. It would not surprise me if it was longer than the story almost.
>>9767897678 Sir, you are my hero.
where's the rest?
Only one chapter and t was posted over a month ago; I'm guessing either the incomplete tag is a mistake or this is an abandoned fic. There's nothing I hate more than when someone starts a fic and then abandons it; I'm working on a rather long fic but don't plan to post even one chapter until all of the chapters are written because I don't want to disappoint anyone if I end up giving up on it.
The story sounds very good, but I'm not sure I should read it if it's just going to leave me hanging like so many other fics have.
it is neither abandoned nor complete. It is/will be an ongoing long term series thing. Many shorts set in the same continuum. This 'story'/chapter/short is 'complete'.
I didn't want to have a ton of entries for a bunch of pseudo sequels.
This was actually really good, despite the fact I'm ashamed of liking it. You write sex scenes VERY well. :)
I only made it about a third of the way through this. I've read a lot of clopfics, but this was a bit too intense for me. I'm not saying it's bad; it was just a bit too intense for me personally.
I was going to read this but I just can't stand anal... please give me a few days to open my mind.
then don't worry about it. I don't want someone getting squicked! It's supposed to be fun. If it's no fun, don't do it.
(next one I have planned after the roughly 2348956348795628756892346589 hours of stuff I currently have in my queue is 'normal')
I'm trying to warm up to all kinds of things, but for me it takes time.
I mean. If you WANT to, that'd be great. But if it's a case of donotwant, please don't force yourself to on my account. That's the opposite of fun.
Haha, I wouldn't force myself to. Then I'd just hate it and it'd be pointless to even bother reading. Something about anal just irks me, ask Punkroctorok up there, he knows. I used to be adamantly against Humans x Ponies, but I'm slowly but surly coming around. I'll open up to this too eventually.
I had no idea that this story was on FiMFiction - I'd only seen it on the Clopfic Directory until now.
I really love this story. It's sexy, it's fun, the characters are in love, and it's written so damn well. It's like you have this phone line that goes directly to the "ponies fucking" part of my psyche and knows precisely how to make it light up.
I'm really looking forward to the next chapter. Not in a release it now you fool kind of way, you understand, just looking forward to it.
If you can consistently do this kind of thing, you will have a very promising career as a clopfic writer ahead of you.
"If you can consistently do this kind of thing, you will have a very promising career as a clopfic writer ahead of you."
"you will have a very promising career as a clopfic writer ahead of you."
"promising career as a clopfic writer ahead of you."
"career as a clopfic writer"
With the economy the way it is, a writer's gotta take what s/he can get in terms of jobs, man.
I weep for the world that can not be. ;_;
I'm actually an electric engineer who specialized in surface to air missile systems.
I can confidently estimate the radar cross section of a pegasus in flight: it's around -3 dbsm and probably not very aspect dependent.
/would rather be paid to write pony porn for a living
I'm going to pretend I know what "dbsm" and "aspect dependent" mean.
And I would also prefer to be paid to write about ponies for a living, even if it was purely about ponies having sex with one another.
Or you could always get erotic fiction published. Non-pony of course. You want a book that has a demographic of more than a few hundred people.
But as long as you're here and willing to do it for free I'm not complaining (even if I'm not really into it myself these days).
dbsm = db referenced to 1 square meter (RCS is radar cross section, it's analogous to the 'size' of something in the radio frequency spectrum)
aspect dependent: dependent on teh direction you're looking at something in. While in visual light, a pegasus can make their apparent size differ depending on what directions they twist relative to you, in RF, they're going to be fairly consistent. Instead of physical size, RF 'visibility' has more to do with conductive properties and frequency. It just so happens that animals are relatively uniformly conductive, so they don't change much in RF no matter how they are oriented.
But yeah. A human is ~1 dbsm so a pony would be around half that big, probably a little less, so -3 to -2 dbsm.
Eh. I've got some more ideas both for stories like this and stories that are more like shipping with sex thrown in when appropriate. Writing clop is fun (and a good block-breaker) because I don't care as much about the reception it gets. I mean, I'd rather write 'good' clop than bad clop but the concept is so smile inducing silly that I find I don't give a fuck (same with the art-porn vs the srs art). I'm a lot faster at this kind of thing when I don't care. If only I could harness that power for good!
Thought you'd get a kick outa that.
Only post on Ponibooru with the "Fucking_hilarious tag and best strip so far on this Tumblr.
Dad and granddads were army. I saw the shit they put up with and didn't do it. 'Course 9/11 happened when I was a freshman and killed any chance I'd sign up. I have no desire to get shipped off to the desert.
Glad you liked it.
Very nice....a shame it had to end at that point.
This is just a first attempt at clopfiction. I'm wrapping up a long TwiDash and then taking a break from words for a bit. I'll be adding more to this probably. I want to write some food-play next.
Well since it's a first attempt then holy crap you have a talent for this stuff. Absolutly love bondage as well as the craziness that is the PinkeDash combo, but i'll definatly be looking forward to TwiDash(another favorite in the coupling department). And since you're clearly a good writer I'm gonna have to give your other stories a read. Keep up the fantastic work.
Hope you enjoy the less cloppy stuff.
Damn, I loved that! My favorite pairing too.
Pinkie Dash is tops.
Damnit kits. I'm not supposed to like clops. Your good writing is making me a bad pony.
This is hot.
Seriously. Let's go through why:
Obviously it's well-written and in-character. Seriously, passionate Rainbow Dash and fun-loving Pinkie Pie are spot-on and very true-to-canon. But what's more important is that the scene in its entirety is subtle. It's not explicit in that squick way. It's more like giving hints, suggestions, little glimpses into what's happenning instead of bringing out the full thing, like looking through a crack in the doorway. If anything, this is how it's done. I want to write like this for stories I'm doing!
Scroll through comments, randomly notice "/would rather be paid to write pony porn for a living", laugh uncontrollably
best quote ever.
Oh and the story is pretty damn great too.
Thanks! I'm so much more into the emotional release than the textbook tab a into slot b myself, so this is how I write sex. I don't think I could pull off meaningless sex -- well, not well enough for me to like it.
And srsly. If I could make what I do now writing pony porn, i would.
I said before that this is funny and sweet, and I stand by that. This is really funny and really sweet. It's probably my fave sexually explicit piece of RainbowPie writing I've read.
And it's her giggle that breaks you? Way to keep cool, Rainbow.
I find this a fascinating insight into Rainbow's character as well as an adorable moment. A bit of a crack in Rainbow's tough guy fascade.
"I'm sorry. Did lil' ol' Pinkie hurt Dashie Washie?"
For hours! Rainbow promised.
Bwa ha! This is both funny and kind of sexy, all at once. I dig it.
If she was right, and she always was, she had just popped the treacherous seductress on her nose. Her cute little, no-doubt crinkled in mirth nose.
I think no one has written a more perfect phrase for a Rainbow Dash interior monologue than "If she was right, and she always was." Also, I love how Rainbow keeps teetering between being annoyed and being turned on. Her frustration amuses me, because I am soulless.
I loved the ongoing ruminations about the pinkness (or non-pinkess) of Pinkie's sex toy. It was hilarious that Dash kept getting mentally sidetracked by that, but then things took a turn for the heartwarming:
It was a dark blue for most of it's length. The tip, as well as several small squiggles which, to a not too discriminating critic might be called lightning bolts, were a shocking yellow.
That is seriously adorable. Also kind of funny. I mean, Wonderbolts dildo! But it's also sweet that Pinkie would even think to customize it like that.
"You are so–" Dash leaned forward, trapping the wondrous pleasure bolt between them, "–so awesome." Pinkie's smile would have restarted the rumors of a new goddess of the sun had anypony else been around to see it.
This is lovely. Dash's simple but sincere compliment, and Pinkie's simple and sincere response. This is exactly how romantic moments should occur between these two. I think this might be my favorite part of the story.
Dash breaking through the restraints was just straight-up hot, however. Though I did wince on Rainbow's behalf. That's gotta leave some seriously rubbed-raw skin behind. Ouch.
Wow. I saw you posted one night, then was all "disregard fimfic, acquire scotch" and forgot to respond.
>I find this a fascinating insight into Rainbow's character as well as an adorable moment. A bit of a crack in Rainbow's tough guy fascade.
I think a lot of writers give Dash way too little credit. I see a lot of "crunchy on the outside" Dash in this fandom. That kind of Dash folds as soon as something doesn't go her way. My Dash cares about her appearance and what other's think, but she isn't above self doubts. Of course, the only way she is actually comfortable with this is because it's Pinkie. She can afford to have a moment of weakness and it not be a bad thing. Like Pinkie can afford not to be 110% all the time for Dash (See: Where Your Heart Is).
>Bwa ha! This is both funny and kind of sexy, all at once. I dig it.
My favorite bit from this section is "I know how to keep a secret." I really meant for that to show how well Pinkie gets Dash and how embarrassed/turned on Dash is by that level of knowledge.
>I think no one has written a more perfect phrase for a Rainbow Dash interior monologue than "If she was right, and she always was." Also, I love how Rainbow keeps teetering between being annoyed and being turned on. Her frustration amuses me, because I am soulless.
Thanks! I really love the duality of turned on and annoyed. It's a perfect metaphor for their entire relationship. That's one thing I don't like about some PinkieDash: they really need that conflict to keep the energy levels up. To me, it's super sweet that Dash can be annoyed with Pinkie, even as she's being screwed silly. And yes, frustration like this is pretty hot.
>I loved the ongoing ruminations about the pinkness (or non-pinkess) of Pinkie's sex toy. It was hilarious that Dash kept getting mentally sidetracked by that, but then things took a turn for the heartwarming:
I just have to say that the pinkness of the strapon, and the ruminations thereof, was totally the single best idea I have ever had. Dash's mental worry about how girly she is as she's tied up being reamed is just so absurdly Rainbow. Her cool "act" isn't all an act.
>That is seriously adorable. Also kind of funny. I mean, Wonderbolts dildo! But it's also sweet that Pinkie would even think to customize it like that.
For some reason, the fact that Pinkie didn't do a perfect job on it makes it even more endearing. Like the cover I did for Where Your Heart Is, it's the fact they aren't perfect and did it anyway that matters.
>This is lovely. Dash's simple but sincere compliment, and Pinkie's simple and sincere response. This is exactly how romantic moments should occur between these two. I think this might be my favorite part of the story.
I don't usually 'daw' at my own fics, but I agree.
>Dash breaking through the restraints was just straight-up hot, however. Though I did wince on Rainbow's behalf. That's gotta leave some seriously rubbed-raw skin behind. Ouch.
One trope I really can't stand is the 'weak' Dash or the Dash who secretly wants to be weak. I wrote this because I found it hot, but I hope to high heavens that people can see this isn't an issue of 'power' like most bondage clop; it's a gift—a gesture. Dash can do this for Pinkie simply because Pinkie suggested/wanted it. Not because it's something she's turned on by, not because she wants to be controlled, but because she wants to make Pinkie happy.
As for breaking the restraints... Yeah, that's hot. It's pretty mind numbingly hot (to me). I- I lost my train of thought. Hold on.
Right. I don't know how much came through, but the headcanon I have for these two is that, just like in non-clop or even non-ship, if you need something new and exciting and different to happen, Dash + Pinkie can do it. Experimentation. Trust. Mutual giving. These are all the themes that went into this. And that really is what makes this hot.
Fun story: I wrote this in four hours fueled by three Rainbow Dash drinks in front of a live gdocs audience.
I should fix the end. Or just delete it before they start back up again. Man I need to write the story of how Dash gets her revenge. I have it all in my head. Hint: involves frosting and knowing exactly how much reach Pinkie's tongue has.
I think I love you.
Sugar Cube Corner. 10 minutes.
>>824630824630 Already there!
well if I'm a follower I'm gonna read your other fics...
hot, hot, hot, hot, HOT! HOT! HOT! HOT!
I wub PinkieDash!
This and Dash's Birthday Present are the "good" clops. FYI.
Great fic! i hope you dont mind i did a reading of this on youtube.
I always find the bondage stories with Dash to be a bit funny. I think that is just because it is comical to see Dash bound and completely helpless. Anyway, another great story! I look forward to reading more. Keep up the stories!