• Member Since 28th Feb, 2022
  • offline last seen April 22nd

MysticSkies115


Just a Transwoman fanfic writer with weird kinks and a NSFW mind at times

Comments ( 4 )

Nice I like it:pinkiehappy:

jmj
jmj #2 · March 4th · · ·

Don't get discouraged by the downvotes. People will downvote without reading Pinkamena related things. This was fun.

A Cupcakes remaster in 2024? Brave! This was actually good fun, but I will warn you a lot of people are not going to share my optimism. This was a rework of a fandom classic that constantly gets people doing their own spins that I actually haven't seen before. A lot of the out-the-gate-hate for this sorta stuff is rooted in how people have done many trite and uninspired looks and reworks into the original. Even a mere year after the originally publishing when I first started writing back in 2012 it was already a cemented trope that Cupcakes reworks/remasters would likely suck. This didn't!

I will say that your writing could be more descriptive at times; The sparseness works when you're trying to cover expository information but when you get into the deeper cuts of the story you're gonna wanna REALLY dig in. ifykwim This goes doubly so for violence. You want to evoke the visceral horror of situations in these sorta things. Don't be afraid to get into the nitty gritty and explain the physical and emotional sensations and reactions in lurid detail. Your sparseness can work for you here though: it's a delicate balancing act to know where and when to linger on describing a wound or a thought, and when to pace it lightning quick to simulate action and terror.

I will also note that you're going to want to update your long description. While I understand the need to not reveal everything in a thriller/horror-type story, this long description is ACCURATE but not evocative. If it weren't for
11840959 here I actually wouldn't have bothered reading the fic at all, and I'm afraid other people who may enjoy it might gloss it over without giving it its proper dues. Try a brief description of your new spin on the story people know and love (or in some cases, greatly despise) without giving away too much about where the story actually goes.

Otherwise, I applaud your fresh look! You'll still be getting some negative reactions from people who simply dislike the concept out of gate, but hey, that's FimFic for ya. Good luck!

It's not a bad story, but a pretty confusing one, at least for me. Maybe it will have a sequel/prequel in order to explain what is actually happening?

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