• Member Since 19th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Darkswirl


Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm good at writing.

E

Nay for valor,

or thirst for blood,

we serve the crown,

a crushing flood,

every's duty,

to protect each other,

less we fail,

and lose one another...

He had failed.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

Dang...

:raritycry:

That was beautiful...

Rome...?

...Think Aerial, think of something nice to say to the good author...

Um...good story...

...

:facehoof:me

1398020 I take it you didn't like the story?

1398031 Story's fine, its just that I'm not in the greatest mood as of now (my brain sort of blocked and I can't think of anything to say).

awesome story I'd watch you but the butten does not appear to be workng

1398059 You just gotta push it harder :pinkiehappy:

And with that, the mid-aged stallion fell into a deep depression that filled his soul with nothing but regret, suffer and hate. He laid down his weapons by his own voice, because the failure of saving the butt of his friend in the fires of battle was unbearable for him. So he did what many posttraumatized soldiers do when they leave the army; he went out to the wide lands of Equestria. He left his life physically behind, survived by doing daily works for local stores and farmers, but never was able to let it go mentally.
At least not until he reached a farm called 'Sweet Apple Acres' which laid not far away from the little town 'Ponyville'. There he found work in a harvest season, since the farm had plenty of apple trees which had to be bucked. But as he did closer talks to the oldest mare Applejack, he made aquaintance with her enomous level of honesty and her kindness.
And as he was working with her, he began to learn about the value of ponies and the worth of his life again. Sooo mainstream :trollestia:

Meh, seriously, I don't have an idea why you wrote this, but.. why? I know that you are keeping your stories rather short, but this was really really short, given to the fact that it's a one-shot!
Not that it was bad.. The grammar is stable and there is something like a golden thread. Still.. dafuq did I just read?

Alas, this guy needs a bottle of rum!

E: Wait a minute..this is playing thousand years before AJ's birth, isn't it? Pah! Soldiers are getting pretty old, if they don't die by a sword.

Saw this picture a while on Deviantart. Great use of it. Emotional.

Silver out!

1398151 I may write short, but it's powerful, no?

Honestly I like feeling sad sometimes.

Apparently I write best that way, and I tend to write sad fics more.

Regardless, I've been juggling this picture around for a while and ended up just spilling my heart with it.

1398157 See you later, Shel. Don't fall off the sidewalk!

Saw the pic not too long ago and was hoping for story to go with it. And you have delivered, wish it was longer but still a great story.

1398205 The character map is fun, isn't it?

1398174
Very well, then. Have this like.
The big problem of those short stories (literally...) is, that they surely can hit the emotions like a drug, but somehow they will stop to satisfy the soul one day. They can hit you like a nuke, but at some point, escapism is needed to reach the truth deeps of sadness -- also as an writer.
And escapism needs complex character-building, what needs time. I'm not saying that short one-shorts are bad, it's just that a web of actions, a storyverse or such a thing, can be much more powerful as time is passing.

In other news: Are you working on something bigger or just writing down in emotional bursts? Y'know, I'm nearly as interested in the writers as in their stories. :twilightsmile:

1398263 Wellllll.....I guess I could share a secret with you...BUT JUST YOU.

As long as you pinkie promise never to tell another living soul or have another living soul hear about what you're about to see.

Pinkie Promise?

1398281
Eww.. cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye (but not the fiction!).

1398181

Actually, I named myself after the band...which named itself after Shel Silverstein! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

Silver out!

1398323 At least you got the reference! xD

1398341

I'm reading one of your sadfics right now...well re-reading it. Apparently, I read it a long time ago and never liked it or faved it. I'll fix that. :pinkiehappy:

Oh! And Silverstein is a good band! Have a listen:

They write mainly break-up songs. They are basically an upgraded version of Hawthorne Heights, if you know who they are.

My avatar is their first album cover! :pinkiecrazy:

Silver out!

I wouldn't trust a poet if they spelled the word "lose" incorrectly.
Just Saiyan.

Powerfully emotional!
This is pretty awesome, and more heart-tugging than my own stuff (and most stories on this site)

I shall give you a like, fave, watch, and three spikes!

:moustache::moustache::moustache:

I look forward to your future works!

1398059

Try using another browser. Google Chrome works nicely for me! :pinkiehappy:

Really good. Watch, and a fav from me.

Angel's Calling - Sabaton

Ice

Wow, this is surprisingly good, no offence but the fact the word count barely passes the required amount might put some people off however an amazing story and hope to see more from you in the future.

This is now on my must read list.

The picture, title and description fits so well whit the tags.
The only test left is the chapter itself.

Not bad, not bad at all.:eeyup:

Wow.. I didn't know you could get emotional over a story like this:fluttershysad:... Congrats to you, Very well written story!:pinkiehappy:

Man, this touches me. My family has always done at least a little military service. I'm planning on enlisting with a couple of friends myself. This story has given me an odd mix of new nightmare fuel, and some bravery for enlisting. Keep up the good work bro.

Such is the bond between foxhole buddies.

this could be much more greater but hell it was beautiful man you really have a gift of toying with emotions XD

good vibes man :twilightsmile:

Eh, it was alright. Honestly, it was too short and lacked the necessary reader-involvement to really get me to feel for his loss. What you have is solid and a very good premise, but there is such a lack of detail that it is just difficult to get invested into the tragedy. That right there, is the reason why this story is not earning an up-vote from me. I am a sucker for a good tragedy and this falls just short... :unsuresweetie:

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