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The Cough: But Funny

This story is a parody of "The Cough" by Ebon Mane

There is a deadly outbreak in Equestria. The deadly disease only gives one warning sign, a cough. Held up in a bunker underneath the Golden Oaks Library, Twilight and the others hear a cough in the darkness. But this time I made it funny.

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Nebbie

Nebbie #1 · January 18th · · ·

I don't mean to be harsh, but this simply wasn't funny to me; there are some mildly amusing gags going on here, both involving Spike's reaction to things, but they don't quite manage a chuckle, and the rest of the fic is too straightforward. I like the concept of it, parodying the original, but it feels like some things are missing because it seems to be played too straight and to not really commit to the "bit" until the Fluttershy part; I could provide some help in adding gags to make it funnier if you'd like.

I also don't understand why it's rated Teen or has the Profanity tag. Did I miss some language?