Paralysis

by Pony-Berserker

Paralysis

It was another sunny day in Equestria. Twilight Sparkle and Spike were wandering through a meadow.
“Isn’t it a beautiful day, Spike?”
“Well, it usually is a nice day in Equestria.”
“Right...”
“So, why are we here again?”
“Will you ever focus, Spike? Fluttershy asked me to check out some weird flower she had seen around here while she was helping some animals with... something.”
“Looks like you didn’t focus...”
Twilight rolled her eyes and just after that she spotted an indeed wierd looking orange flower.
“Look, Spike. I think we found it.”
“What is this?”
“I have no idea. I’ve never seen such a flower before.”
“I’m not particularly interested in flowers... Take it and let’s go home, please. I’m starving.”
Spike turned around and started walking toward Ponyville. Twilight was gazing at the flower.
“Seriously... Where did this come from? Everfree Forest? It’s not even close to it...”
“Who cares? Take it, show to Fluttershy and let’s get this over with.”
“Okay...”
Twilight leaned forward the flower to sniff it.
“Whaaa..." – Twilight shouted when the flower puffed in her face.
“Twilight!?" – Spike turned around terrified.
“Aaa... aaaaa.”
Twilight staggered for a while and fell on the ground with a loud thump. Spike look at the scene without a word.
“Twi? What’s going on?”
Spike was approaching the lying, motionless Twilight. Her eyes were wide open, however.
“Twilight? Are you all right?”
The unicorn started to drool and Spike already knew that she is not all right at all. He was actually aware she could be dying but tried to resist the urge to think about the situation this way.
“Oooh... What am I going to do!? There is no one around....”
Twilight didn’t react at all. Her eyes had now a clearly visible squint.
“TWILIGHT, DON’T DIE, PLEASE!!!”
Spike looked around nervously.
“I will get some help. Stay here.”
Spike ran away a little but got back after a while.
“You won’t go anywhere, will you? Oh... Darn it...”
The little dragon ran toward Ponyville leaving probably unconscious Twilight lying alone in the grass.

Spike ran along empty Ponyville roads.
“Where’s everypony, when anypony is needed!? Even Derpy would be useful right now!”
“Hey, Spike, why are hurrying...”
“Rainbow Dash! Quick! Help! Twilight! Grass! Flower! Puff!”
“Whoah... Slow down a bit, pal. Tell me what’s going on.”
The purple dragon suddenly grabbed the floating pegasus and jumped on her back.
“What do you think you are doing!?”
“Fly! Twilight is dying!”
“What!?”
Rainbow didn’t wait for further comments and dashed along.
“Right! Left! Straight! Now straight!” Spike was steering the pegasus.
“Just tell me where she is...”
“The big meadow west of Ponyville!”
“Alright.”

By the time they arrived at the lying unicorn, Spike calmed down a bit and explaind to Rainbow what actually happened.
“I always knew flowers are lame... but also dangerous? Gee.”
“There she is!”
“Mhm... It doesn’t look too good.”
Twilight was alive, that was sure, and probably also conscious. She evidently tried to move her legs but couldn’t do anything except some random twitches.
“We need to take her to the doctor or she can die... Forever!” Spike was hysterical again.
“Right. Help me put her on my back.”
Twilight’s stiff body was quickly put on Rainbow Dash’s back.
“Gosh... She could use some excercises. No way I can fly with her on my back.”
“Let’s GO then. Quickly!”
“You should... ugh... have asked Big Mac... for help... Gosh, she is heavy.”

It wasn’t quick but finally Spike, Rainbow and Twilight got to Ponyville. Worried whispers could be heard when they were moving along the streets.
“My dear. What has happened to her!?” Rarity shouted as she ran out of her boutique.
“I don’t know! She just groaned and fell after sniffing a flower.”
“Could... ugh... Rarity, please, help me!”
Rarity took Twilight from Rainbow’s back.
“Ugh... I’m a flyer, not a powerlifter...” Rainbow Dash said falling on the ground.
“No time for resting, Dashie! Let’s take her to her bed. We will see what we can do.”
Rarity decided and without waiting for response, she ran to Twilight’s house.
“Oh... She is beautiful AND strong...” Spike was amazed by Rarity’s ability to trot with another pony on her back.
“How is she... oooh... Spike, call a doctor for me...”
“Yeah... The best athlete in Equestria,” Spike muttered and followed Rarity.
“Don’t leave me here...”

“Hey, Rarity! Hey, Twilie! Whacha doin!?” Pinkie shouted and jumped excitedly alongside Rarity and Twilight.
“Hello, Pinkie. I’m busy.”
“Why is Twiligiht riding on you?”
“Long story.”
“Can I have a go after her?”
“Whhat? Pinkie...”
“Ha ha ha... You have a funny face Twilie. I can also squint my eyes. I train it every day. Look!” she said and started doing squinty eyes until she bumped into a wall.
Rarity sighed and went on trotting to Twilight’s home.

Soon all Twilight’s friends gathered around her bed and looked worried at her paralyzed body.
“It’s my fault,” cried Fluttershy. “If I didn’t ask her to go check out this flower, she would be all right.”
“Don’t feel guilty, sugarcube. Who could’ve known that dangerous flowers could grow so far away from Everfree Forest,” Applejack tried to comfort her.
“Why don’t we call a doctor?” Spike asked suddenly.
“I Personally believe that Zecora would do a better job here,” Rarity interjected without much hope that anyone would take her suggestion into consideration.
“Okay... I wil get a doctor, and you Rainbow, go to Zecora’s,” Spike said before running out of the house.
“He’s been way too apodictic recently,” commented Rainbow Dash and flew out through a window.
Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy left at Twilight’s bed.
“Rarity, let’s find sumthin’ in her fancy books. Twilight’d do that,” suggested Applejack.
“Sure thing!” shouted Rarity.
“Pinkie, Fluttershy. Stay here.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie.”
“Okay...”
Rarity and AJ went to the other room. Pinkie looked curiously at Twilight who looked quite like someone encased in stone.
“You know Twilie, I’m pretty jealous, you know. I never could remian still for so long as you.”
Pinkie jumped several times in place.
“I know, I know. I will MAKE you move.”
“Maybe don’t do that, Pinkie...” Fluttershy said weakly.
But pink pony didn’t listen to the yellow pegasus. Pinkie ran out of the house and returned with a feather.
“Now you’re gonna move,” said Pinkie and giggled.
Pinkie started to tickle her friend with the feather but, as one would predict, Twilight didn’t even twitch.
“Oh, come on Twilie! Everypony is ticklish... Look!
Pinkie jumped to Fluttershy and started to tickle her.
“No, Pinkie... Hahahaha, please. Stop, stop!” shouted Fluttershy while laughing loudly.
“You see? Hm... Ha, I know, I know! I will not make you move! I will move you!”
Pinkie decided to push Twilight from bed. And she accomplished that. Twilight stayed on her legs until... she fell after a few seconds.
“Twilie?”
The hyperactive pony looked in the unicorn’s eyes and saw tears. She knew something is horribly wrong.
“Twilie? We are not playing, are we?”
“I tried to tell you, Pinkie. Twilight is very, very ill,” said Fluttershy
Then Spike returned with a doctor.
“Where is the patient?”
“Upstairs!”
The doctor and Spike came over Twilight’s bed.
“Hm...” the doctor looked worried and began some basic examinations.
“So, doctor? What’s going on?”
“Hm... I think she might be paralyzed.”
“Aaargh! Of course she IS paralyzed.”
“Well, then why did you call me?”
“I wanted you to treat her... somehow.”
“Oh, I'm sorry. But I can’t.”
“What!?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong. Spinal cord injuries usually leave patients with ability to speak and move their eyes. But here... This looks like some kind of magic.”
“Magic?”
“Well then, I can’t help here. I will send you a bill later” the doctor informed Spike and left while whistling happily.
Just after the doctor left the tree house, Rainbow Dash flew in through a window.
“Gah, Zecora left a note that she will be back in a month as she set out on a journey to seek some rare weeds.”
“Doctor can’t do anything, no Zecora... Twilight’s gonna dieeeeeee!!!” cried Spike.
“No, we can’t let her do that... Let’s write to Princess Celestia!” shouted Pinkie.
“Great idea.”
Spike took a quill and a piece of parchment.
“Dear Princess Celestia. Your faithful student Twilight Sparkle is dying. Goddess help us. Spike.”
“That should do the trick,” commented Rainbow Dash.
The purple dragon sent the note using his magical breath.
“Now let’s just wait.”
After a few seconds, Spike belched a response.
“My loyal subject, Spike. I am terribly worried about Twilight’s life.”
“She’s gonna help, she’s gonna help!” Pinkie shouted jumping excitedly.
“However, I can’t interfere with natural laws of life. If doctors can’t help Twilight and the end of her life is imminent, I am afraid I cannot help you the way you would like me to act.”
“WHAT!?” Rainbow and Pinkie shouted losing their hope.
“What? She is our Goddess! She can do ANYTHING she wants...”
“I will reply: But the doctor said that this involves MAGIC.”
Soon, Princess replied.
“Dear Spike. Many things in Equestria involve magic. Believe me, the newas about Twilight’s imminent death has seriously upset me but I cannot act against my self-imposed laws. I would only act if some kind of natural or unnatural disaster endangered a vast number of ponies. Once again, I am terribly sorry but one simply does not call Princess Celestia to help themselves.”
“So she’s not gonna help her best student? That’s ridiculous... And sad at the same time.” said Rainbow, visibly irritated.
“What are we going to do now?” asked Spike.
“I have an idea,” answered Rainbow. “Where’s Rarity?”
“In the libra…” but before Spike could answer, Rainbow flew there and dragged Rarity to Twilight’s bed.
Rarity was definitely angry. “You, you... Ruffian! How dare you bite my beautiful tail. You could have asked me to come!”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now, use some magic.”
“What?” Rarity was quite shocked.
“You know, the doctor said that Twilight isn’t really ill. It’s some kind of magic. You are the unicorn, you use magic. Now, dispel her,” explained Rainbow.
“I’m a jewelfinder not a shaman, my dear. I can’t use that magic. I don’t even... Ugh!” Rarity tried to end but Rainbow threw a book at her.
“Have, take it. This book is called ‘Magical Diseases And How To Cure Them’.”
“I’m not a...”
“Read it!”
Rarity gave Rainbow a hateful look and started to read.
“I tell you this is useless...” insisted Rarity.
“Useless-shmuzeless. We won’t know if we don’t try.”
“Well. I’m doing it for Twilight, not you.”
“Whatever.”
“Hm... This spell looks terribly difficult... Mmmhmhmmh!” Rarity tried to cast the spell.
“Come on, you can do this!” other ponies cheered at Rarity.
“MMMMMMM! No way. I can’t do this. It’s Twilight’s job.” Said exhausted Rarity.
“Try once again!” shouted Rainbow.
“Agh... As you wish. MMMMMM!!!”
Suddenly a faint blue glow from Rarity’s head struck Rainbow Dash and stunned her.
“Ugh... What happened?” asked Rarity and Rainbow in unison
“Uuuu... There was some flashy ray and the ray went shoooo and hit Rainbow. That looked awesome,” exclaimed Pinkie.
“I don’t feel good,” whined Rainbow.
“Ha ha ha. And you don’t look good either,” laughed Spiked.
Rainbow looked at herself and said a bit surprised: “I’m still a blue pegasus... What do you mean I don’t look good?”
“Uhm... Your hair... Er.... Are not rainbow-colored anymore...” Spike answered.
“WHAT!?” shouted terrified Rainbow and dashed to the nearest mirror. “Green hair? Rarity!” Rainbow was already looking in the white unicorn’s eyes.
“At least your tail is still rainbow-colored” interjected Fluttershy.
“Make my hair normal!”
“Darling... Your hair is normal now.”
“What do you mean!?”
“Your rainbow-colored manestyle was, let me put this the right way, extraordinary. Most ponies have one or two-colored manes.”
“I want my extraordinary hair back!” Rainbow was already furious.
“I... I... I think I can get some hair dye for you, hehe...”
“Use your magic agai… NO! Don’t use your magic!”
“Why not? THAT,” Rarity pointed at Rainbow’s head, “clearly showed that I CAN use magic. I just need more training.”
But the others present in the room weren’t as enthusiasthic about the idea as Rarity and they slowly moved away from the white unicorn.
“By the way, can someone tell me why is Twilight lying on the floor?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Uhm... Long story,” answered uneasy Pinkie.
“And I’m pretty sure I’d like to listen to it,” continued Rainbow.
“I... I... Look, muffin!” shouted Pinkie.
“What!?” Rainbow turned around.
And before Rainbow was able to turn back to Pinkie, the hyperactive pony was gone.
“I’m gonna learn that trick someday,” said resigned Rainbow.
Meanwhile, Rarity was trying to do something useful with spells from the book.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” asked the irritated blue pegasus.
“YYYYEEEEESSSS!!!” shouted Rarity, who was struggling with another difficult spell just before a blinding glow filled the room. And when everything was made visible...
“No, Twilight’s room wasn’t green. You’ve got some issues with that color,” commented Rainbow.
“Can you be silent for a while? I cannot concentrate with you talking over my head...” Everyone in the room was losing their patience now. “No, I have no idea what I’m doing...”
“Sooo... No doctor, no Princess Celestia and no magic either... And we have another casualty” Spike summarized everything and looked at Rainbow, who frowned instantly. “Any other ideas?”
Rainbow raised her foreleg.
“Any ideas that do not involve dropping Twilight from the sky and hoping that the crash will somehow wake her up?” continued Spike.
Rainbow lowered her foreleg, “How did you know?”
“Maybe... We should at least put her back to her bed?” asked Fluttershy.
“Yes... I think that’s quite a good idea.”

Meanwhile at the library.
“Ah’m never gonna find anythin’ useful here,” Applejack was resigned after a long time of unsuccessful search.
“Hey, AJ. Whatcha doin’?” shouted Pinkie terryfing Applejack.
“Whoah. What, how, when? Ah, never mind. I’m tryin’ to find a cure for Twilight’s illness. But the catalogue, it ain’t make no sense! All’s in alphabetical order! No categories!
“Uhm... Twilight isn’t doing a very good job as a librarian, is she?" Pinkie was wondering.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be concerned about this. You know, it’s her library after all...”
“Hm.... Have you tried this one?” Pinkie asked Applejack and gave her a thin book she took from a shelf.
“ ‘Dangerous plants of Equestria: How to help those unwary wanderers who happened to touch them?’ Where did you find this Pinkie?” asked very surprised Applejack.
“Duh... Under D of course!”
“Yes, of course. Under D...”
Applejack took the book and ran to Twilight’s bedroom.

Twilight had already been put to bed at the time Applejack appeared.
“You found the book, AJ?” asked Spike.
“Yes!” Applejack answered and spat the book in Spike’s head. “Find the flower.”
“Uhm…” Spike took the book and started searching. “I don’t really remember how it looked. I think it was orange...”
“Great. Now we don’t know which flower it was,” Rainbow was losing her patience. “Maybe we should guess?”
“We just need to find the orange flower,” suggested Pinkie Pie.
“There are too many of them to just find the orange. There are no real colors in this book. The plants are only described...” Spike was at the edge of crying.
“Leave it to anut Pinkie,” said the pink pony and took the book from Spike.
Pinkie searched through some pages.
“There it is. Category: Orange and Dangerous. See? The key to success is Pinkie!”
“Indeed, that kinda looks like that flower,” Spike confirmed Pinkie’s finding but one would say he wasn’t really sure.
“What is the cure then?” asked worried Rarity.
“Will she… gulp… die?” Fluttershy asked, covering her eyes.
Spike would heavily sweat at that moment. Fortunately, lizards and dragons can’t do that.
“So?” asked everybody except Spike. And Twilight of course.
“No! She won’t die!” shouted the little dragon.
“What!?” everyone was quite surprised.
“Oh my God! She will die! She will... What!?” Pinkie probably expected another answer.
“It’s written here that this flower petrifies the unweary but the effect goes off after some time.”
“Yay!” everybody was happy.
“So... When does the effect go off?” Rarity asked.
“I... I don’t know. It’s not written when exactly,” answered Spike.
“Then, we just gotta wait ‘til she wakes up,” remarked Applejack.
Happiness mixed with sadness. Twilight was going to be fine but she was not fine at that moment.
“By the way, why is everything so green?” asked Applejack.
“Ask our great and powerful Rarity...” Rainbow replied.
“Phi!” snorted Rarity.
“If you had found that book faster, there would be no casualties,” pointed out Rainbow Dash.
“What casualties?”
Rainbow looked upwards pointing at her hair.
“Ah... That kind of casualties...”

“How is she?” asked Rainbow Dash. It was two days after they had found the book. “Did she move?”
“Not a twitch,” Spike answered.
“Well, look at the bright side.”
“Where do you see that?”
“Well, you are pretty lucky that she doesn’t need to go to a little fillies room.”
“Yeah, so lucky...”
“Cheer up Spike. She’s gonna be fine.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Rainbow Dash turned back and started flying towards the entrance door. Spike was gazing at Twilight when he saw something he had been waiting for.
“RAINBOW! SHE MOVED! SHE MOVED!”
“What!?” Rainbow was instantly next to Spike.
“Look! The foreleg!”
“Yeah! You’re right! I’m gonna spread the news!”
Indeed. Twilight was slowly waking up from the magical paralysis. Or a coma. Or whatever it really was. Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash was flying around Ponyville looking for her friends.
After some time, Twilight’s friends were at her house. Just in time to see her getting back her consciousness.
“Oooh...” Twilight moaned.
“Hiya Twilie!” shouted Pinkie.
“Pinkie! What are you... What are you all doing here!?”
“Twilight, darling! We were so worried about you!” said Rarity.
“Oh, yes, I remember now... I remember everything. The doctor... Rarity painting my room...”
“Oh, have you seen everything?” asked slightly uneasy Pinkie.
“Yes. Pinkie Why, in the name of Celestia, did you tickle me? Or push from the bed for that matter? You could have hurt me!”
“Oh.... I’m sorry, Twilight.”
“It’s okay. Nothing happened after all. But you don’t know I felt being tickled by you and not being able to laugh!” explained Twilight.
“Not being able to laugh? Gosh, that sounds terrible!” Pinkie said.
“Well, that’s a good occasion to write a letter to Princess Celestia,” said Twilight.
Silence hung in the air.
“You... don’t seem very enthusiastic.”
“Well... What kind of lesson do you mean?” asked Rainbow.
“That your friends will always find a way to help you in troubles,” explained Twilight.
“I... don’t think we really helped,” remarked Rainbow.
“What?”
“We did nothing,” said the blue pegasus. “We tried to help you but we didn’t have to. The effect went off by itself.”
“Right... But you wanted to! And that counts!”
“Besides,” interjected Spike, “you sent similar letters to Princess like zillion times.”
“Yeah, I also thought some letters were too repetitive.” Twilight agreed.
“So, no letter?” asked Pinkie.
“No letter” answered Twilight.
“Yay! Let’s throw a party!” shouted Pinkie.
All ponies cheered and followed Pinkie, who was jumping toward the door.
“Oh, by the way Twilight,” said Applejack. “No offense, but you are a bad librarian.”
“What!?”

THE END

Comments

[Pony-Berserker]

Feedback is appreciated.

[reader238]

why is twilight a bad librarian?

[Pony-Berserker]

1392400 Because AJ couldn't find the book in the catalogues.

[reader238]

1392425 oh okay i see

[khatre]

AJ is actually right. The only pony that can ever find a book in Twilight's library is Pinkie.
Admittedly .. sometimes they land on her face ...

[Sparklight]

“Whaaa.... – Twilight shouted when the flower puffed in her face.”

Should be "Whaaa..." Twilight shouted when the flower puffed in her face. Everything in the " marks is what the characters say.

“Twilight!? – Spike turned around terrified.”

Same problem as the above.

“Aa.a..aaaaa”

Firstly, it should have a full stop or something on the end. Secondly, three full stops in a row (...) means a trail off, one means the end of a sentence. There is no two (..).

Ponyville.Worried

Missing space.

“My dear. What has happened to her!?” Rarity shouted running out of her boutique.

This is an example of correct dialogue. However, I would change the end to Rarity shouted as she ran out of her boutique.

“Could..

Either use one full stop or three.

“Can I have a go after her??”

Unneeded ?

“Hihihi... You have a funny face Twilie. I also can do squint eyes . I train it every day. Look!” she said and started doing squinty eyes until she bumped into a wall.

1. I think you mean Hahaha. 2. I can also squint my eyes.

“Don’t feel guilty, sugarcube. Who could’ve known that dangerous flowers could grown so far away from Everfree Forest,” Applejack tried to comfort her.

You're looking for grow.

“I Personally believe that Zecora would do a better job here,” Rarity interjected without much hope that anyone would take her suggestion into consideration.

Personally shouldn't be capitalised.

“I wanted you to treat her... somehow”
“Oh, certainly. But I can’t.”

1. Somehow should have a full stop after it. 2. The doctor says certainly, as in he will treat her, but then says he can't. This doesn't make sense. How about: "I'm sorry, but I can't."

“Well then, I can’t help here. I will send you a bill later”

Needs a full stop.

“I will reply: But the doctor said that this involves MAGIC”

Full stop.

Believe me, the newas about

Typo here. I think you meant news.

“Where’s Rarity.”

Should have a question mark.

“Ha, ha, ha.

The commas aren't needed. A comma represents a pause, or breaks up a sentence. What's happening there is Ha (pause) ha (pause) ha., when it should just be Ha ha ha.

“Uhm... Twilight isn’t doing a very good job as a librarian, is she? Pinkie was wondering.

Missing "

“So???”

Only one question mark is needed.

“Phi!”

Not necesarily wrong, but I've never heard that before.

“No offense but you are a bad librarian.”

Should have a comma after offense.

[Pony-Berserker]

1397828 Thanks ;)

[Sparklight]

1399675
You're very welcome.

[Scribblestick]

Pacing was a bit fast at the beginning.

[Pony-Berserker]

1500077

Looks like it's a common problem in my stories.

[draconis72000]

Bad Celestia! I'm glad they didn't write you a letter.
Letting her die like that, without even visiting, you deserve to think she's dead.
Not as funny as your other work, but still a good read, hmmm, I'm not good at comments...

[Pony-Berserker]

1821746

Not as funny as your other work

It's my first fan-fic after all. No wonder it's not the best

[draconis72000]

1824803
Don't get me wrong, it was still funny, and being your first fan-fic it makes sense that you would get better, lol.
I'll probably be reading them in order from this point, so they'll only get better.

[Rough_Draft]

The pacing is bit too fast. I notice that it's mostly rapid-fire dialogue. Not the worst thing, but it would help if you let some of the scenes breathe. Describe the place where Twilight finds the strange flower. Let some of the tension build instead of jumping from one moment to the next.

But other than that, the dialogue is pretty sharp and hilarious at times. Just needs more time.