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Overshadowed

For most of the their lives the Shadowbolts have practiced to one day be allowed to perform in Canterlot. From flight camp to performances the three have worked hard to obtain their dream even sinking so low as to help a prospective dictator. But when push comes to shove can the team stick it through?

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Fernin

Fernin #1 · Sep 29th, 2012 · · ·

Hmm. Well, it's a nice enough story, although I feel like it might have benefitted from a more 'show' than 'tell' approach-- i.e. actually showing some of the things they're reminiscing about as flashbacks instead of simply having them reminisce verbally about the past events.

You could even have them remember the events in different ways-- tell the same flashback multiple times with different tones and slightly different versions of events in an 'unreliable narrator' fashion in order to provide the reader with more insight on how each character sees the world.

Still, not too bad as is.