There's something Queen Haven never told her daughters about Cloudpuff. The adorable puppy can't tell them, it's a secret that needs to be locked inside of a cage.
Written for the A Thousand Words contest. Category: Drama.
Chapters (1)
ManicDots
Joined 23rd Nov, 2022 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Jay Watson · 20k words · 14 0 · 856 views
- Mica · 2.3k words · 79 1 · 1.6k views
- NavelColt · 9.3k words · 182 9 · 2.4k views
- milesprower06 · 5k words · 65 2 · 1.3k views
- applezombi · 3.5k words · 52 2 · 695 views
- Jhoira · 7.5k words · 81 7 · 1.6k views
- Bookish Delight · 2.3k words · 35 3 · 966 views
- SuperPinkBrony12 · 4.8k words · 18 0 · 242 views
Featured In1
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.047 seconds
Total duration
1,059 users online
16,199 hits today, 2,205,040 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
What
what
WHAT
I am at once enraged and scared
I am quite confused
Is Cloudpuff some sort of demon?
ooh, the Royal Vape!
this did sound like something Queen Haven has experienced before
well, that just raises further questions! i guess Cloudpuff is some sort of entity that has to be reset to keep acting like a dog instead of whatever he is that needs to be kept in his cage? and from how Haven was talking to him, it sounds like Cloudpuff was a normal dog at some point. interesting!
Dang. Can’t believe Cloudpuff drools deuterium.
A fascinating scenario muddied by messy execution. It feels like a six-hundred-word idea padded out with awkward phrasing, excessive description, and passive voice. The grandiosity of the Royal Vape in particular would undercut the intended tone of the piece if it weren’t one of the first things we see. Instead, it sets that tone to begin with, leading to an amusingly absurd feel you almost definitely weren’t going for. In all, this could have used some more polish, possibly trimming the existing fat and opening with Haven’s realization that this had happened again. Still, thank you for it.