Pipp has a lot of expectations placed on her by her mother, due to her being the "extra princess." Her current mission is to make sure to maintain good relations with Sunny, the mare who brought back magic into the world. Though Queen Haven wishes for a tighter link between the royal family and such an important mare.
Yes, my word counts are becoming even more insane. (Don't expect this in the future, it just worked out well for this one.)
Didn't know queen Nova of the hippogriffs was still alive, those seaweed wraps must be magic ;)
Queen Nova leaned forward, legitimately curious to hear the answer. "Pipp, I must ask. Did you just get extremely lucky, or are you a lot better at this than you let on and you outplayed me like I was a filly?"
11007536
I had a feeling I was going to miss one of those.
This was pretty nice. I like it.
11007648
Yay!
I saw this in the feature box at 11:57pm Pacific Standard time 10/8/2021
Guess i really need to read it now
11007798
You do!
11007802
I'm really glad I made that comment.
It got knocked out.
11007826
Still up on mine.
11007827
Oh snaps!
We got a bouncing story.
Damn this was great. Among all the super cute moments with Pipp and Sunny the political back and forth was really interesting. While I can’t see Queen Haven being this manipulative in the actual series your version of her was a really great. Moving all the piece for the “greater good” but that last line does show they she cares about them.
Really great work with this
11007844
Yay!
And oh yeah. There's no way Haven is some jerk manipulator in the actual show. But I was like "this is an interesting idea." I originally started the idea as Pipp being a manipulative girl out to get whatever she can for herself. But this one turned out a lot better in giving it more depth than just "Pipp's out for Pipp" kind of thing.
11007853
That still sounds like a cool idea to explore, but I am glad you went with this one.
Also anyway we get to see the wedding in a sequel, I’d really wanna see the others reaction to that lol
Yay a Sunny/Pipp shipfic! Looking forward to this.
♫ My girl's a dere, a tsun tsun dere...♪
Damn, that's a clever twist. Sunny is smart pone. Though shouldn't Pipp have some direct say in the matter, especially when it comes to her own brands?
Do horses have shoulders that you can pat? Always wondered this.
Thrones aren't exactly that comfortable as a chair. IRL royals usually reserve throne rooms for appointments and formal receptions, and they have separate lounge areas to relax in.
What a beautiful shipfic. I've been looking for a good
SunPetalsSunPippPippStarPipp/Sunny shipping story, and this fits the bill very well! It's got royal drama, a bit of romance fluff. The whole "deceiving Sunny to fall in love with Pipp" plot could've been drawn out further, but still quite a nice buildup. Sunny's impulsiveness, which really sets her apart from G4 Twilight, is on display here.Hope to see a sequel of the wedding.
There are quite a few typos, and I'm not sure about using the word "people" and "person" in a world of ponies.
Overall, a great slice of life romance that's fluffier than Pipp's wings. Have a fave.
Also, yay for writing longer stories! I need to work on that too. Also, props to getting round-number word counts.
11008056
Hehe, more going that helping someone preen is something similar to helping them bathe. So with Pipp going with "cleaning" it sounds less like a social faux pas.
11008062
Should and does far too rarely go together in life.
Yes, they're right where you'd think. Behind the neck.
Depends on the culture, the time, etc. but good fantasy thrones are always comfortable.
11008067
I like Pippstar!
People and person designate personhood, not human. That's always irritated me in MLP. They do it to keep on brand obviously but we don't say "everyhuman" or "he's a good human."
And you never know. I might have a sequel... but my writing has always been a fickle mistress.
Can you make a Pitch shipfic soon? Pipp/Hitch?
11008056
Um.. this may sound silly, probably stupid, but.. what does dere mean? And, what does tsun dere mean?
11008062
Well, the queen must have a comfortable throne or something, I guess?
11008282
A straight fic!? *Hisss.*
11008284
A tsundere is an anime character trope. I think it's being mean to the person you like or something.
11008284
Tsuntsun - morose, aloof
Deredere - lovestruck
Put them together...
Tsun dere - a character that alternates between aloof and lovestruck moods
a whole what?
a whole what?!
Now You have to tell me.
Ooh i really liked this! Never thought of Pipp being the youngest she would be used like she is but I like it! PippStar is a top tier ship imo!
huh...
that is a pretty big price
okay now that I've read this whole thing....
freaking amazing. Sunny suddenly kissing Pipp makes sense and it definitely the right first step.
And you've inspired the next major step for Zizzy.
Thanks for that
11009270
Forgive me father for I have sinned... :D
11009289
don't worry.
It's more fluff.
I mean...obviously it'll lead to other things, but the bit you inspired is not those things
11008304
You don’t write straight fics, eh? That’s fine. :)
the punctuation and the pacing in this chapter are a bit off. This paragraph is the greatest offender of it, it just reads like every sentence jumps frantically from one concept to another.
11021713
*Gasp!* Are you claiming that the Jhoira is not perfect in all aspects!?... That checks out.
Oof, straight through the heart.
Good feels, good characterization overall
Grammar needs some work.
Like it thus far
Headcanon of Pegasi enjoying swimming as reminiscent of flight accepted, very well thought out.
The characters and pacing are still good.
Still quite a few grammar errors peppered about
This has been the greatest chapter thus far Jhoira, thank you.
It's odd how this fic can have subtle errors in its grammar, like plural words lacking "s" in the end or lack of punctuation at places, yet the Queen and Sunny's dialogues are pristine and very heartfelt. I'll chuck it to the whole "Even" word count gimmick you like going for, but it is a contrast I noted.
I very much so enjoyed Sunny putting Haven in her place and taking control of the situation, that was fantastic
Dunno why but this made me snort, nice joke!
Oof, isn't this a bit too much for Pipp to think?
I mean, the following scene about Pipp's earning was really wholesome.
Alright, having read all of this, I thoroughly enjoyed these characters, especially the last two chapters. How they interacted, how Pipp truly cared for Sunny, and both Sunny's impulsiveness and wits at work to protect her new friend were delightful.
I'm still begrudgingly sorry to say that the punctuation and grammar mistakes really did get in the way of understanding some concepts at times. The worst offenders were the thoughts about reconstructing Sunny's Lighthouse, the repetition of several words in a row, and just a lack of commas at times. I feel this whole shtick about nailing those even number of words per chapter gets in the way of the story structure because as the story progressed and you gave yourself more space to write, the interactions and pacing all improved.
I loved the story, loved the characters, would love to see more, but it only shines at times and particularly at the end.
11025963
Pipp is super jaded abut her mother (in this fic, obviously. I don't think we'll be super super manipulative Queen Haven in the show.) And I was more going for the emphasizing of how important that "final farewell" until the actual final farewell was, and her mother's reaction to it. Not focusing on the part about her mother dying.
And you can't blame the pacing, like I said this actually literally just worked out like this. (Give or take 50 words.) I'll let you peer behind the curtain a little. It's how I write. As you can tell I'm not much of a flowery prose person. I write the story I want to tell and I'm not one on making it longer than it need be (even if some would legitimately argue pacing would be better longer.) I need to quickly introduce Pipp's relation to her mother and that she has a crush on Sunny... Bam, quick 500 word backstory. I need to have Pipp ask, slightly longer so they can interact a bit, 1000. Another interaction, but with a bit of commentary on the travel... 1500. Pipp's confession and confrontation with the queen 1000 and 1000... *Cough* I mean... One 2000 word chapter... Then bundling their aftermath, 1500, Pipp's goodbye with her mother, 500, and a little summing up 500 into a 2500 story.
It's totally a gimmick, but the gimmick comes from how I write, the writing doesn't come from the gimick.
I love that bit of interspecies confusion. Cultural norms make for fun interplay.
Ooh, Sunny knows a lot more than the Queen thought. Still, Pipp is getting what she wants, too!
First off, this bit is brilliant.
I really love all the honesty that comes out of this. Suddenly none of the characters are really hiding anything, and it gives such a clear view into their relationships.
11043801
Well, Sunny's still hiding that she's not quite as "at peace" with it as she let on.
11043821
She will come clean on that in time. At least, I believe she will if you continue the story.
11043828
Or will she!?... I imagine it more as it evolving into "there's nothing to come clean about anymore."
♡♡♡ nice
Damn this was a nice wholesome fic that I definitely needed after the shitty day I had today, thank you! As for the story well done on creating tension between all three of the characters and building it to a heartfelt confrontation. Sunny kissing Pipp at the end definitely surprised me but it definitely gave me that satisfaction that Sunny is just as invested in this relationship as Pipp.
11297478
Everything I write is wholesome! Though I do have a few sads lurking in there.
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.... and following now!