The Great Cycle is coming to a close and the tenuous bonds of harmony are beginning to break. I have set the wheels of change in motion and conflict is inevitable, even anticipated... This is the time for the Equians to prove themselves, to prove that they deserve their continued existence in the unending universe, we shall see if they can withstand the coming storm and rise to greater heights.
(Oh my! A story based on an alicorn! how original... before you downvote, or say that there's no need for the main character to be an alicorn... it's essential to the plot... read if you may... criticize if you need to... but i intend to write this story to the very end, i know it's an outdated idea, i know that it may seem generic at first, but it will get less generic (I hope) the further it goes in, also, Tags will be added as they become apparent or as needed.)
I know what you're thinking, Aevum wakes up, mysteriously healed and ready to take part in life in Ponyville as she meets each of the mane six one by one. She becomes well liked by all and then BAM! Discord attacks, and Aevum plays an instrumental role in his defeat and lives happily ever after.
No. Just. No.
You could not be more wrong, Discord is in it, but that's down the track... way down the track... And i fully intend to get Aevum away from Ponyville as fast as humanly possible, because... well... don't get me wrong, i like Ponyville. Ponyville is awesome! but I'm going to try and avoid the standard 'alicorn makes friends in Ponyville' cliche and i also feel that there's been enough epic fics based in and around Ponyville and i'm going to try and use some more unusual locales also the mane six will feature little in this story hence the tags.
Read, Rate, Comment, and believe me when i say that the plot will thicken so much you'll think that Princess Celestia is gorging herself in her 'sleep'
Will add tags as suggested and/or as they become apparent. now if you'll excuse me i have some research to do
(Starlight: Brace for impact Doxy! Dislikes incoming!)
Italics continuity, otherwise continue
Added go read later for when there's more substance here. The description got my attention, and though alicorn stories are tough to do right, when they succeed they can be beautiful.
Good luck with this. Hope you don't disappoint.
1350763 Italics continuity? what...
1351075 Thanks!
I actually took this as a challenge to see if it could be done, I'm still bracing for impact though.
playing HALO 3 soundtrack to this makes it music to my ears
1351313
Oh-my-gosh-I-wrote-this-to-the-halo-soundtrack-well-maybe-not-the-halo-three-sountrack-but-still-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-oh-my-gosh-that-is-sooo-coincidental!
but truthfully i did write this to the Halo soundtrack 'Blow Me Away', 'Pursuit Of Truth' and 'Respite' specifically
I couldn't leave this story without leaving a comment. There were a few spots where the grammar was off, such as where you put comma after comma in near the beginning of the bold section. Most of those fragments could be put in their own sentence.
I like this story for the fact that I am planning something along the same lines, an OC alicorn and Discord story. I'd like to see an aspiring writer pull a project like this off.
I'll watch this, just so I can see where its headed. If you need a proofreader/ editor I can always help, just PM me through FIMfic or email at vaniondale@gmail.com
1351386 nice
1351410 yes. I'll admit my grammar is not the strongest, never has been, and Discord's is just a minor plot device, i have bigger and badder things to introduce my little alicorn to... not that it's a self insert, my profile pic is my OC
and i'd be honored if you became my editor so i think i will send that message.
i gotta say... I was expecting this to be carpet bombed with dislikes and nasty comments telling me how outdated this idea is, once again i have underestimated my fellow Bronys (or Bronies if you rather) for your ability to tolerate anything the world throws at you, including this fiction.
Excuse me while i go and shed tears of joy.
... and write some more.
1351232
For any and all dreams sequences and journals it's best to write in italics entirely.
Allright.
I think that maybe you rushed the story. Also could have built up a friendly relationship between Ceasar and your Alicorn, so we would feel bad about her losing her only friend.
If you are planning take her adventure outside ponyville that's fine, but also, it's necessary to ask when is continuing the "humans" part of your story?
your story isn't bad at all, it's just needlessly rushed
1355200 The humans will be back, of that you can be certain
There's chapter 2, now I must go and rewrite chapter 1 for full 3rd person perspective... and hopefully I'll get chapter three done and published soon...
(Unlike Valve)
Allons-y!
Edit: Sorry about the multi-updates, i just noticed some things that weren't right after going through it again and i simply could not stand by and leave them be. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)