A Trip Down Memory Lane
Rarity opened her eyes and found herself standing in front of Canterlot High.
Her old school looked just as it had thirty years ago. Same familiar brick. Same students milling about. Same whiff of a corn processing plant from the next town over. Eugh. That part she didn’t miss.
She spun in a circle, surveying everything around her. Which turned out to not be much. Everything beyond the boundaries of the school grew increasingly fuzzy and indistinct. She stood in the center of an isolated pocket of clarity.
That, she supposed, was the limitation of a memory.
As if on cue, the owner of the memory walked up the steps, directly towards her. Sunset Shimmer. A senior in highschool, absolutely babyfaced compared to the one she knew.
A part of Rarity expected Sunset to be accompanied by a halo of light, or an angelic chorus, a crescendo of strings. But maybe that was just how Rarity felt in her heart whenever she saw her wife.
“Hey,” Rarity blurted out unexpectedly. She hadn’t been intending to say anything, but seeing her here…
“Hey!” Sunset called out, her face breaking into a smile that threatened to crumble Rarity’s heart into pieces.
Wait, could Sunset actually see her? She had assumed that this trip down memory lane would only be as an observer.
There was the sound of a squeal from behind her, and then Rarity’s body fuzzed as Rarity sprinted through her. The teenage version of Rarity leapt into Sunset’s arms. Sunset managed to catch her, but in the process they both tumbled to the ground.
“How undignified!” Young Rarity said, in between giggles. “You’re supposed to catch me and twirl me around in the air before setting me down gently.”
Sunset grinned from her position below Young Rarity. “I think I’d have to spend way more time in the gym to pull that off. I’ll have to make it up to you some other way.”
Young Rarity’s cheeks turned a little pink, and she smiled slyly. “I’ll hold you to that.”
An empty soda can bounced off the pavement near Sunset’s head. “Gross!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she skated past. “You two are gross!”
With a dramatic sigh, Young Rarity stood up, and brushed off an absolute fashion disaster of a skirt. She reached down her hand, and helped pull Sunset up to her feet.
Rarity clutched her hand over her heart, her breath shallow. She could remember this, vaguely. It was just a regular day at school, nothing particularly special about it. Maybe a few weeks after they’d started dating.
Seeing herself from the third person was a surreal experience, that was certain. The two lovebirds linked arms and started walking towards school while making small talk, the rest of the world only an afterthought.
She watched her younger self describing a vision for a new outfit—one that absolutely wouldn’t end up working out— gesticulating grandly as she tried to paint a picture for her girlfriend.
Sunset was entirely focused on Young Rarity, enraptured by every word. The way Sunset looked at her sent a shiver up her spine. She’d always been such a good listener, even when Rarity knew she could drone on and on and on.
The school bell rang. Sunset and Young Rarity stopped at the entrance, shared a quick kiss, and then split up towards different classes.
This was too much. Coming here was a mistake. What did she think she was going to find, anyway?
She spun on her heels and started marching away from the school.
Only to run headfirst into someone.
The person in front of her was tall, glowling a soft orange, and had indistinct features. But despite their alien appearance, there was a sense of calm and familiarity about them.
“Hello,” the figure said.
Rarity took a step back, her heart pounding in her chest. “Who are you?”
“I am Harmony. Or rather, I am a part of the gem itself, and contain all memories that it has recorded. You are Rarity. How can I help you?”
Of course. Just a glorified AI. Rarity took a deep breath. “I’d like to leave. I don’t think I can find what I’m looking for here.”
Harmony creased their brow, and nodded, “Very well. I can take you out of here. But if you permit me to ask, what are you looking for?”
“I…” The sheer devastation of it all threatened to bowl her over. “Sunset is dying,” Rarity croaked out. “Brain aneurysm. Doctor’s say she’s already gone. I need to be with her again, even if it’s just a memory.”
“I see.”
Harmony fell silent, and the clarity of the memory slowly faded around them.
Rarity let out a sigh. “Let’s get out of—”
A flash of light spread across Harmony, and then it wasn’t Harmony, but Sunset Shimmer standing in front of her.
It was the Sunset she knew. Well worn laugh lines on her face. A short cropped haircut that Rainbow Dash had once referred to as a “dyke-do” and which Sunset had gladly repeated for years. A smile that could have started wars, but was reserved uniquely and solely for her.
“Hey,” Sunset said in the exact same way she had a million times before.
Tears blurred Rarity’s vision, and she reached a trembling hand out. “Sunset?”
Sunset grabbed her hand and squeezed gently. “Not really. There’s more to a person than their memories. But if this is what you want?”
A lie, then. A fantasy to drown herself in. Better than the alternative. “I do.”
Rarity glanced back towards the school, where a young Rarity was almost certainly daydreaming about spending time with Sunset instead of paying attention in class. Those first couple weeks dating had been an absolutely intoxicating high.
“I’d ask how you were holding up, but the fact that you’re in here already means ‘not great.’”
A faint smile crossed Rarity’s lips. “Sunset Shimmer, master empath. Anyway. I didn’t come here to be maudlin. I’ve got enough of that in the real world. I want to…” She paused, twirling a lock of her hair as she searched for the right words. “I want to see what she saw, feel what she felt. Know what was most important to her, what really mattered.”
“Don’t you already know?” Sunset met her gaze, the cyan of her eyes as piercing as ever. “From her words, her actions, the time she chose to spend with you, the life she chose to spend with you?”
“I need more,” Rarity whispered. “Anything at all.”
Sunset shrugged. “As you wish.” She turned and gestured, and a doorway appeared in the air, shimmering softly. “We’ll go over the greatest hits.”
Darkness engulfed Rarity as the world shifted around her, and she blinked several times, rubbing at her eyes.
The air was thick with the heat of summer, of suffocating humidity. It stank of sweat, of body odor, of perfume, of unwashed laundry, of a lavender scented automatic air freshener, of leftovers in the fridge that needed to be eaten real quick.
Sound reached her. The rustling of sheets. Heavy breathing, soft giggles, quiet gasps. The sound of skin rubbing against skin, of lips pressing together.
Rarity’s eyes adjusted, and she could see a little bit. Slivers of light peeked in through venetian blinds, cast from the street lamps outside. She knew exactly where she was, and a flush crept up her cheeks.
This was the college dorm she’d shared with Sunset. It wasn’t much. Hardly enough space for one person, let alone two. Rarity was someone who needed space to flourish. She was constantly expanding her world and filling every corner with her dreams. The tiny room was stifling, suffocating. The stress of it led to tension and fights between them.
But it was their home, and they shared it together, inadequate though it might be.
On the tiny, one person bed, Young Sunset and Young Rarity lay together under a single sheet, catching their breaths, basking in the closeness of each other, despite the miserable heat.
“You’re amazing,” Young Sunset said with a grin.
Young Rarity nudged her playfully. ‘You tell me that every day. It’s going to lose its meaning.”
Young Sunset shrugged. “I mean it every time, and I’ll never stop. Every day, forever.”
Rarity couldn’t help but smile at that. It wasn’t a promise Sunset had kept, of course. Not literally. There had been The Break, and even beyond that every single day was unrealistic.
She’d gotten pretty close, though.
“She thinks about these days often,” Sunset said from beside her.
Rarity turned to glance at her and raised an eyebrow. Something about looking over their younger selves in this moment felt weirdly voyeuristic. “Oh?”
Sunset ran her hand through her hair. “It was…” She rolled her hand through the air. “Well, it was hot, for one. Just the time, the energy, the drive, and desire we had to fully drown in each other. I don’t think we’ve managed it since.”
“Is that so?” Rarity crossed her arms over her chest, attempting to look stern. But she couldn’t keep the levity out of her voice. “What, are we getting too old and slow now?”
“I mean, yeah, kinda.” Sunset stuck her tongue out. “No shame in it. My back hurts if I sleep wrong. But there’s more than that.” She stepped closer to the bed, looking down at the two lovebirds, the lights from the blinds dancing patterns across them. “Before we had it all figured out. Before we really knew who we were, or what we really wanted. I’m so glad, and proud of who we are now. But there’s something to be said about the joy of the question, before you know the answer.”
As if on cue, young Rarity propped herself up slightly, turning to look down at Young Sunset. “What are your dreams?”
Young Sunset, who had been close to drifting off, started. “Huh? Dreams?”
Young Rarity dragged her finger down Sunset’s bare arm, wiping away some of the sweat that had pooled near her elbow. “You know. For the future. What are your dreams?”
“Hmm.” Young Sunset puffed her cheeks up and blew out a long breath. “What are your dreams?”
“Ah-ah.” Young Rarity playfully shoved her. “I asked first. Besides, I talk about my dreams all the time.”
“Fine, fine.”
Despite Sunset’s affirmation, a silence fell over the room. One minute passed, and then two. Finally, Young Rarity spoke up again. “Come on, don’t fall asleep on me now.”
Young Sunset shook her head. “Sorry, I’m just trying to think. I dunno. I’m not sure I really have any. Not like you do. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”
Young Rarity bit her lip. “You should want things too.”
Rarity could feel her younger self’s trepidation in the moment. Pushing in a way she thought would be encouraging, but really only added pressure. Later, she’d come to think of this as the moment where she had ruined everything.
Now she could see it was just another step on their journey.
“You really shot me right in the heart, here,” Sunset said.
“I’m sorry.”
Sunset laughed. “It’s fine. We made it through in the end. And it was a fair question. I’d been coasting through life. Following you, only living in the moment. The fact that I didn’t have dreams like you, goals, and ambitions like yours made me feel pretty worthless. And I knew if I didn’t figure out something soon, you would realize that, and move on.”
Rarity bit her lip. “I never thought you were worthless.”
“I know that now.”
Young Sunset turned to face Young Rarity. “You know what my dream is?”
Young Rarity met her gaze? “What is it?”
With a grin, Young Sunset rolled on top of Young Rarity, pinning her down. “Let me show you.”
Sunset coughed, her cheeks a little red. “It uh. took us a while to get to that point.”
Rarity fanned herself. “Shall we move on?”
The door opened to a dim room, flickering lights illuminating a bar, an old TV playing some sort of sports broadcast. The place wasn’t dirty, but all the furniture was worn down, giving it that authentic hole in the wall chic.
The bar was also empty except for the bartender, one Sunset Shimmer.
Rarity frowned as she stepped inside. “I don’t think I remember this.”
“This was during The Break. A better job came maybe three months later, so you never got to see it.”
Of course. The Break. Right now Young Rarity was overseas, deeply immersed in the world of high fashion, rubbing elbows with some of the greatest talents in the industry, making a huge splash despite how young she was. She was living her dream.
And wondering if it was all a terrible mistake.
“I thought this was supposed to be the greatest hits,” Rarity mumbled.
Young Sunset looked up, and Rarity met her eyes. For a brief moment, it almost seemed like she could see her, but then Young Sunset smiled. It was the wrong smile. A pleasant smile, for customer service.
“Welcome! Can I get anything for you?”
An old woman tottered into the bar, and then sat down on one of the stools. “Two gin and tonics.”
Young Sunset blinked once at the double order, but otherwise didn’t miss a beat. “Coming right up!”
The old woman fiddled with her purse, searching for something in it. “Don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”
Young Sunset shrugged. “Started working here six months ago.”
“And they let you watch the place by yourself?”
“They let me watch the place by myself after my first week of training.”
“Hmph.” She pulled a small tin can out of her wallet, and set it on the bar in front of the stool next to her. “Management here always had no sense. I used to work here, you know. It was… sixty four years ago. I was maybe seventeen, working as a waitress.”
“Huh.” Young Sunset poured both drinks into glasses, and set them in front of the old woman. “Didn’t know this place went that far back.”
“Mmmhmm. It was new at the time.” The old woman pushed one of the glasses over towards the tin. “There was a gent who used to come round, always ordered a gin and tonic, sit in the corner drinking by himself. Then one day he asked me out to go dancing. I turned him down, of course.You get all sorts of propositions as a waitress in a place like this. But he kept coming back, every day, ordering a gin and tonic, and asking me out to dance.”
“That’s…”
“After maybe two months I finally said yes. One thing led to another, and we got married a year later. Lasted for fifty four years.”
Young Sunset let out a low whistle. “Wow. Uh, that’s a lot.”
Sunset pursed her lips. “You know, I remembered this moment as being a little more romantic but actually revisiting I think my memory smoothed over the creepier bits.”
Rarity crossed her arms over her chest. “My grandmother told similar stories. It’s unfortunately common in that generation.”
“Anyway.” The old woman tapped the tin can. “This is what’s left of him. I come here every year on our anniversary.”
Young Sunset closed her eyes and nodded. “I’m sorry for your loss. Fifty four years is a long time for a relationship. I… can’t really imagine it.”
The old woman adjusted her glasses, peering a little closer at Young Sunset. “You seem very pretty. I bet you’ve got a lot of fellas calling.”
Young Sunset shrugged. “I mean, yeah, kind of. People ask me out all the time. Men and women. Sometimes I even say yes. But…” She glanced to the side, and somehow Rarity knew that she was glancing east, in the direction of Young Rarity.
The old woman smirked. “There’s someone special, isn’t there?”
“There was, once. But our lives went in separate directions.”
“Bah.” The old woman took a sip of her drink, then made a face. “Always hated gin. Directions can be changed, girl. If your man is going one way, either follow after him, or drag him kicking and screaming with you.”
Young Sunset barked a short laugh. “Celestia, I would not want to try the latter. But she… she’s aiming for the top. I’d just hold her back.”
Rarity’s heart ached, and she reached out towards Young Sunset. “I wish you could have seen yourself the way I saw you.”
Sunset placed a hand on her shoulder. “The years you were gone were not great, honestly. It took me time to really figure my shit out.”
The old woman clucked her tongue. “That’s coward’s talk if you ask me. If your girl is climbing to the top, then go out and buy a sturdy pair of hiking boots and some rope.”
Young Sunset furrowed her brow, deep in thought.
“But what do I know? I’m just an old woman with a dead husband.” She finished the rest of her drink, then left a wad of bills on the counter. “Good luck, young lady.”
Rarity watched her go. “So, is this when you turned things around?”
“Not quite.” Sunset gestured around the bar. “Depression got worse. But at some point, I thought back to this conversation, and finally got into therapy. It was another year still, before you came home.”
Rarity closed her eyes, remembering that day. She was worried she’d changed. She was worried Sunset had changed. It turned out they both had, and that was completely fine. “Guess I owe that old woman a thank you card.”
Sunset grinned. “I’d bet good money she’s still kicking.”
“And you’re not.”
The jovial mood died, and Sunset’s smile faded.
“Sorry,” Rarity muttered. Her heart pounded in her chest. Fifty four years. She’d only gotten twenty six out of the deal. She’d give anything for twenty eight more.
She’d give anything for one.
Rarity forced a smile that she didn’t feel. “Let’s keep going, shall we? What’s next?”
The icy chill from an air conditioner blasted Rarity, along with a bouncy pop rock song that had been popular in the late twenties. She blinked several times, adjusting to her surroundings. She was in the back of a car, rocky desert and scrub brush dotting the landscape around them.
Young Sunset was driving, and Young Rarity was in the passenger seat next to her, idly tapping through some design notes on a tablet.
Young Rarity let out a long sigh, then set the tablet to the side and leaned against the window, watching the scenery go by. “Can we stop at the next exit? I need to use the bathroom.”
Young Sunset raised an eyebrow, though it was hard to tell behind her sunglasses. “You sure? Not much around here. It’ll probably be gross.”
“I know.” Young Rarity let out an over dramatic sigh. “It’s either that or brave the scorpions again.”
“They’re so cute though!”
Young Rarity stuck out her tongue. “Only if they keep a safe distance. And besides, you never know. Roadside stops can be so charming!”
Young Sunset glanced over at her. “Like when you almost got mugged yesterday?”
“Who cares? We’re literally magic.”
They both chuckled at that, and then conversation died for a bit. The song switched to something a bit slower.
Rarity turned to Sunset, who was in the seat next to her. “I did love this trip, but we took a lot of road trips, didn’t we? Why this one?”
Sunset shrugged. “It doesn’t seem like much. Just another moment among many. But I loved traveling with you, no matter where. Journey before destination and all that.”
“Not even the part with the landmark, huh?”
Young Sunset poked at her phone. “If we push hard, we can reach the Big Hole by midnight, try and find a hotel nearby and check it out in the morning.”
Young Rarity rolled her eyes. “It’s still not funny.”
“What? That’s what it is, a big hole. I’ve never seen it. Maybe it's like the mountain with the faces, incredibly unimpressive.”
“We didn’t even see the mountain, it was too foggy.”
“Exactly!” Young Sunset slapped her knee for emphasis. “I’ll call it Grand if and only if I decide it lives up to its reputation.”
Rarity reached out and placed her hand on Sunset’s. “It did, and you had to admit you were wrong.”
Sunset smiled, then rotated her hand to squeeze Rarity’s. “Of course it did. I was there with you, after all.”
She felt her cheeks color slightly, and shook her head. “Always the flirt.”
“Besides. Don’t you remember the next part?”
Young Sunset pulled the car off the next exit, and they drove a few miles to some incredibly tiny town that only had a single, one pump gas station in it.
A combo Gas Station / Fashion boutique, the latter half marked by a hand painted wooden sign nailed on to the original.
The owner of the gas station had a teenage daughter with an interest in fashion, and had secured some terrible real estate to show it off. But Young Rarity didn’t care. She was absolutely over the moon, gushing over every piece, until the girl herself made an appearance and had her ear talked off for hours.
“You changed her life, you know,” Sunset murmured, as the two of them watched the exchange.
Rarity smirked. “No, I don’t think so. Not really.”
Sunset placed a hand on her hip. “Humble as always. But you make people shine, and you know it.”
“I just gave her some encouragement, that’s all. She already had the talent, and the drive to succeed. Besides, I have a more important question for you.” Rarity pursed her lips.
“Oh?”
Rarity pointed towards a calendar hanging on the wall. “I was having trouble remembering exactly when this vacation was, but that cements it. This trip happened after our wedding!”
Sunset crossed her arms over her chest, a slight smirk playing at her lips. “And?”
“And?” Rarity’s eye twitched. “If this is supposed to be the greatest hits of our relationship, then why did you skip our wedding?”
The hot desert wind blew through the open windows of the shop, and Sunset let out a long sigh.“It was a fun party, but honestly it’s all kind of a blur. We talked about this before, remember? I’m happy to do the ceremony, hold the party, but at the end of the day what matters is that I got to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love.”
Rarity clenched her fists. “We worked so hard on everything. I made sure it was perfect!”
Sunset shrugged. “A lot of people told us it was perfect. But you’re right, we did work really hard on everything, it was super stressful, and then I was just relieved we finally made it through without screwing anything up.”
“That’s…” Rarity felt her irritation drain out of her, leaving her empty. “I know you told me this beforehand but… I thought if I could make it the best wedding ever, it would win even you over.”
“Sorry.” Sunset reached out, and gently cupped her cheek. “Any wedding with you would have been the best wedding ever. Tell you what. How about I show you one of my favorite memories related to the wedding?”
Rarity closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. The words ‘till death do us part’ echoed in the back of her mind. “This better be good.”
“Look what I found, look what I found!”
The thundering of little feet echoed from above, and then Azure Blaze barreled down the stairs into the basement, holding a large book.
Young Rarity looked up from where she was sewing. “What’s that, dear?”
Azure Blaze ran over to Young Rarity and held the book high, a wide grin on the eight year old’s face. “Aunt Rarity, this book has you on the cover!”
Young Sunset followed down the stairs, then stopped at the bottom and leaned against the banister. “We were looking for books she might like.”
Rarity watched from the corner, from her spot on the couch. This was their house, where they’d built a life together. A nice place, with space for projects, and space for friends.
A place where they were supposed to grow old and die together.
Young Rarity pulled off the magnifying glasses she used for detail work, and rubbed at her eyes before leaning down to get on Azure’s level. Her face lit up when she realized what the book was. “This is the photo album from our wedding!”
Azure Blaze beamed wide. “You two were in a wedding together? That’s awesome! I got to be the flower girl in Aunt Trixie and Aunt Starlight’s wedding!”
Young Sunset ruffled Azure’s hair. “We were there too, sweetie. We saw.”
Unheeding of anything else, Azure immediately sat down and started flipping through the pages. Both adults sat down next to her.
“Who’s that?” Azure asked.
Young Rarity smiled. “That’s my mother. I guess you’ve never gotten a chance to meet her, huh? She’s always traveling, so she isn’t around much.”
“Wow.” Azure said, already switching to the next picture. “You look sooo pretty. Did you make the dress yourself?”
Young Sunset smiled. “She didn’t, actually. It was a whole thing.”
Young Rarity let out a long sigh. “I’d been dreaming of my perfect wedding dress ever since I was your age, you know. What I would do. What design to use. And then when the time came I just couldn’t do it. Nothing I did felt right. It wasn’t good enough.”
“So what did you do?” Azure asked, wide eyed.
“After a bit of a breakdown on my part, I had to give up. Instead I had to trust in someone else’s vision for me. And it was perfect.”
Azure furrowed her brow, slowly processing this information. She flipped to the next page, then burst out laughing at a picture of Rainbow Dash trying to stuff as much cake as possible into her mouth. “Momma looks funny!”
Young Sunset laughed with her. “I forgot all about that picture! There’s definitely a few good ones of her in here, let’s see if we can find them.”
The three of them continued flipping through pages, and explaining the various anecdotes that accompanied each picture. Eventually Azure stopped on a particular page.
“How come momma changed her outfit?”
Young Rarity blinked, then looked closer. “Oh, that’s actually—”
Azure turned the page, and then gasped, her eyes going wide. “How come there’s two of everybody!?”
Young Sunset’s mouth fell open. “Wait, hold on. Did your mom not tell you about Equestria?”
“What’s Equestria?”
Both adults facepalmed simultaneously.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Young Sunset groaned. “I’m going to strangle her.”
Young Rarity pinched the bridge of her nose. “Perhaps she did it on purpose? It is kind of an awkward thing to explain. Could you text her and ask?”
Azure furrowed her brow. “Explain what? What’s going on?”
Young Sunset pulled out her phone and fired off a text. A reply came about fifteen seconds later. Young Sunset barked a short laugh, then held it up so Young Rarity could see.
“LOL whoops i forgot”
“u guys wanna handle that for me”
“I swear, sometimes…” Young Rarity shook her head. “Where do we even start?”
Young Sunset ran a hand through her hair. “At the beginning, I guess. Can you do me a favor and contact Princess Twilight? Might as well give her the heads up that this is inevitably going to result in a visit.”
“Aunt Twilight is a princess?” Azure leaned close, eyes full of wonder.
“Hoo boy. You’re in for it kid.” Young Sunset ruffled Azure’s hair, then too a deep breath. “Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria…”
Rarity and Sunset watched the storytelling in silence, and the sheer amazement and joy in Azure as she realized that this was much more than just a fairy tale.
“Should we have had kids?” Rarity asked softly.
Sunset turned to her and raised an eyebrow. “We both agreed we didn’t want any.”
“I know, but…” Rarity’s lip trembled, and she felt her throat clench. “You’re going to be gone, and now there’s no time to change our mind, and what if we made a mistake?”
“I dunno. I guess it’s always possible. I’m pretty happy being the best aunts in the world, though.”
“Yeah, but…” Rarity stopped, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The storm inside her that was tearing her apart piece by piece was threatening to break containment. She hadn’t come here to wallow in grief. She’d come here to drown in the good times. She opened her eyes, and the sight of Azure cracked her heart even further. “What’s she going to do, without you? She adores you so much.”
Sunset nodded, her expression grim.
It was all too much. Rarity forced herself to smile a smile she very much did not feel. “Well, enough of that. What’s next?”
Sunset stared at her long enough that her smile began to falter, but ultimately stood up, and another door appeared.
Rarity stepped through the door and found herself… in the same living room. Well, mostly. The furniture was different, and arranged differently. More artwork on the walls. More photos hung up everywhere. Different unfinished projects in the corner.
Young Sunset and Young Rarity sat together on the couch, Sunset’s legs draped over Rarity’s lap. Although they could hardly be considered ‘young’ anymore. Familiar wrinkles, familiar hints of gray, familiar hairstyles.
Everything here was far too familiar, because this was no longer the distant memories of a loving relationship.
It was only two weeks ago.
Sunset and Rarity both fiddled with their phones, existing together in comfortable silence.
Rarity burst out laughing, and then showed the phone to Sunset.
“I don’t get it,” Sunset said blankly.
“Well, it’s kind of one of those nested ones. It’s actually a reference to an earlier meme where—Hang on!” Rarity narrowed her eyes. “I explained this to you last week already.”
Sunset met her gaze, and then grinned.
“You little shit!” Rarity laughed, and playfully shoved at Sunset’s knee.
They settled back into their respective phones, until Sunset’s beeped. “Oh hey. Applejack just posted the info for the next family reunion. Gonna be Saturday the eighteenth.”
Rarity frowned, then swapped away from social media on her phone. “Drat. That’s the same day as the board game night with Lily.”
“I think you know which one of those takes priority.”
“I know, I know.” Rarity huffed. “It’s hard to make new friends, when the old ones keep you so busy.”
“Honestly? Good problem to have.”
“Mmm.” Rarity gently squeezed Sunset’s leg. “I love you.”
Sunset smiled that perfect smile of hers. “I love you.”
They made kissy faces at each other, not willing to lean far enough to actually kiss, giggled, then went back to their phones.
Rarity trembled as she watched this snapshot of the life they’d shared together. Sometimes dramatic, but mostly mundane, everyday nonsense. The boring parts, the in between stuff, that had always been much brighter with Sunset by her side.
“We skipped over a lot of stuff.” Rarity spun, deliberately looking away from herself. “I need more. This isn’t enough.”
Sunset—or the weird magic construct that wore her face and shared her memories—smiled sadly. “I could do that, sure, if you really want. But don’t you think it’s about time you headed back?”
“Head back to what?” Rarity clenched her fist, and her fingernails dug into her palm. “I can’t do this without you.”
“Not this, maybe.” Sunset gestured towards the two of them on the couch.” “But you’ll keep going, and you’ll find something different.” Sunset reached out a hand to rest on Rarity’s shoulder.
Rarity slapped the hand away, and she let out a wordless scream as everything cracked inside of her. “Stop it! Stop being so reasonable! I don’t need a therapist, I need my wife!”
Sunset flinched at that, then took a step back before sitting down into the computer chair. She buried her face into her hands. “I’m sorry,” Sunset whispered, her voice wavering.
“Sunset…” She didn’t come here to cry. Rarity closed her eyes, trying to hold it all in, stuff everything back in before it all leaked out. She stepped forward, reaching a hand out, unsure.
“I don’t want to leave you.” Sunset looked up, her eyes watery, She grabbed Rarity’s hand, squeezing it so hard it hurt. “This fucking sucks. I can’t even… we were supposed to have so much more time.”
Rarity sniffed, giving up more ground in a losing battle. “It’s so stupid. We’ve been through so much. Had literal magical battles. And you just have a weird brain thing and poof? It’s all gone? It shouldn’t be like this.”
“I…” Sunset took a deep, shuddering breath. “There was a time. Early on, after my redemption. Where I just kind of figured I was living on borrowed time. That it was all too good. It wasn’t like I wanted to die, I just kind of expected it would happen sooner rather than later, and I accepted that.”
“You weren’t…”
“Eventually I learned to really live, for you, for myself, for everyone. That it wasn’t about dreams or accomplishing things, just the time I spent with the people I love. And now… nothing. Gone. I feel cheated. I demand to speak to the manager!”
Rarity burst out a short laugh, which finally made her tears start flowing in earnest. She fell down to her knees, still clutching Sunset’s hand as tightly as she could. “What am I supposed to do without you?’
Sunset slid off the chair, joining Rarity on the floor and resting their heads together. “I dunno. Be sad? Grieve? Support all your friends who are grieving too? Go to therapy? Channel your grief into an absolutely stunning line of widow themed fashion?”
Another snort from Rarity, which slowly transformed into sobs. “What if Twilight could still find a way to fix everything?”
“I think if you really believed that she could, you wouldn’t be here with me. You’d be outside, in the real world, with her.”
It was true, and Rarity knew it. Her chest felt like it was going to collapse in on itself, form into a singularity and consume the world. She pulled Sunset in tighter, never wanting to let go.
Together, they held each other, crying into each other's shoulders. Time slipped away, and the world faded around them, becoming an empty void.
Rarity tightened her fingers into Sunset’s jacket, and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. Her strawberry shampoo, the smell of her sweat, the worn scent of her faux leather and the polish used to keep it pristine. Would this eventually be lost to her too?
“I love you,” Sunset whispered.
“I love you too.” Rarity sniffed. “What if I just stayed here, forever?”
Sunset smiled a sad smile. “A part of me wants that too. But it’s not living. And I know you too well. You would get restless. Old fashions, old memories. It’s just not you.”
Rarity smiled, unable to see clearly through her tears. “You’re right, of course. You always are.” She sniffed, and wiped her nose with her sleeve. Utterly undignified. “What am I supposed to do with all the logistics? I don’t think I can handle planning a funeral.”
“One hundred percent, Pinkie Pie has a binder full of emergency funeral plans for every single one of us. One last party.”
“I.. oh my. I never thought about that, but you’re probably right. She absolutely does.”
They chuckled together.
“Thank you,” Rarity murmured. “For pretending with me.”
Harmony stood up, their features melting away, replaced with a soft orange glow. “I loved her too, you know.” They reached down a hand.
Rarity smiled, and let Harmony help her up. “She had that effect on people. So, so many people. Can I come back here sometime? And talk? Not to a memory, but to you?”
“I think I would like that. I’m glad you were in her life, to make so many moments worth remembering.”
That was that, then. Rarity closed her eyes, steeling her heart. Except…
“One more for the road?”
Sunset smiled, then leaned down and brushed their lips together.
“Goodbye.”
Rarity opened her eyes, and heard the soft beeping of the hospital monitors around her.
Every part of her ached, but she pulled herself upright, and unclenched her fingers around the harmony gem.
Sunset lay on the bed, the respirator causing her chest to rise and fall. She was so rail and small looking, a far cry from the sheer presence she commanded in life.
Her beloved wife, nearly unrecognizable.
The doctors said she was already gone, and it wouldn’t be much longer before the rest of her body gave up too.
Rarity had said goodbye to her memories. Now she needed to say goodbye to her wife.
But before that, she could spend at least a little more time with her.
She reached out and clutched Sunset’s fingers in her own, willing whatever warmth she could to transfer into them.
“Hey. I’ve been thinking, and you know how I was talking about the orange trim on that last dress? I really don’t think it works at all anymore. I might have to bring this one back to the drawing board. On and then there’s…”
She could share her everyday life with Sunset, just a little bit longer.
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oroboro, more like orobackro
(not to be confused with “orobackrow” which refers to her use of rearmost oars when piloting a small two-person watercraft)
This author just assaulted me with the feels bat.
(It's very good work)
Wait a minute... *Squints at the author...*
Thank you for the submission! Can you add a link to the contest group in your long description? https://www.fimfiction.net/group/216924/the-spring-fling-contest/thread/513560/the-spring-fling-contest-march-19-april-30-the-rules-and-how-to-enter
Most of the entries have, unsurprisingly, been about the beginnings of relationships, the first intoxicating burst of infatuation made all the headier by adolescence. You've done a brilliant job of capturing everything that comes after, including what happens if "happily ever after" doesn't draw the curtain quickly enough. Outstanding work. Thank you for it, best of luck in the judging, and have fun in the Boiling Isles.
11571981
I thought "Orobackrow" referred to her spell and trap cards in Yu-Gi-Oh.
11572011
Whoops, missed that caveat!
Added it now.
My heart hurts in the saddest, most beautiful way possible. Thank you.
Just finished and this made me bawl SO HARD I'm literally writing this through tears right now. You perfectly captured the bittersweet feeling of reminiscing on those long gone, the emptiness that comes from knowing there'll never be another soul who understands you the way they did. Beautiful work all around.
OEUGH
11572016
Dang like the cover art. Does the person have a deviant art account or something perhaps?
11572548
The Artist is Sam Rose! I don't know their DA, but they are on the site.
They do great work, and have done coverart for some of my other stories, and also did all the banners for the Sunset Shipping Contests.
In the interest of transparency I'd like to preface this by saying that, as one of the judges for The Spring Fling Contest, my comment being here is not indicative of anyone's chances in the contest.
With that said, this story personally made me feel a lot of things, and I just didn't feel right reading this without letting you know that. I'll have more to say after the judgment period has ended, but for now, I'll keep my words short. Best of luck!
It's incredibly how hard your stories hit. Thanks for writing this. It landed with a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.
These lines hit particularly hard.
“There was a time. Early on, after my redemption. Where I just kind of figured I was living on borrowed time."
“You changed her life, you know.”
“I loved her too, you know.”
I haven't seen anyone write Harmony like that, and now I want to know her story.
11572979
Huh well in any case thanks
Well, finally got the time to finish this story, And my first story by you, too! Apparently you're quite the figure around here, so I have to check out your other works sometimes.
Anyway, the idea of going across the memory of one's life just before (or after) one's death is a pretty classic idea. I've seen it twice in original novels, one with Starlight and Trixie, one with Applejack and Granny Smith, and probably more that I'm forgetting.
They're all good, but this one's really special. Going across these memories together is unlike anything I've seen before. One would usually just pretend the other's there at most, but them actually sharing final thoughts is more
Both of their characters are feeling real, and seeing their snippets of life are heartwarming because they just are so genuinely happy together. Nothing too much to say about those, I'm just a casual reader and can't really tell how the writing in general is, but I somehow find myself drawn to the extra characters you put in there when they're supposed to be secondary. That…is really saying a lot. Good job.
And the end… I have to say that I didn't expect Rarity to just have casual talk with her, but I'm not surprised. Maybe most would find that good because it means that Rarity is actually accepting this like she's still there or something, but to me it's actually because I think about doing that one day, quite a lot, too. I was always a pretty accepting person, and I always find the quickest way out of loss and find a way to move on without truly forgetting things. I literally imagined going to the graves someday, lean against my friends and family's tombstones and look up to the Sunny skies, chatting about my life and imagining what they would say. Smiling at the same time. So yeah, this is tremendously relatable. Like the ending, and like their life. Surely she'll find happiness again soon. She still have friends, after all.
Thanks for the tale, cheers to love, Equestria and creativity, and hope to see you again.
Oh geez. Oh wow oh geez oh dear oh my oh holy shit this story.
This story takes the notion of walking through memories – certainly a familiar one, between the likes of A Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, and many others – and gives it that extra punch of sheer heartbreak. Rarity isn’t walking through Sunset’s mind to learn a lesson, or see how things could have been, or change/prevent an outcome; all those things are now moot. Sunset’s already gone, and all Rarity has left is to scramble through what remains of Sunset’s mind in a desperate, agonized effort to find closure for a relationship that should have gone on so much longer.
I was in awe at the way this story carries readers through this journey through Sunset and Rarity’s relationship, in a way that balances fond, heartwarming memories with devastating emotional blows. There’s a somberness throughout, established by the knowledge of what has already happened, but it lands even harder in moments when you get to moments like “The Break”, years they spent apart that now, for Rarity, feel even more wasted. And having Harmony as an entity masquerading as Sunset, but, by its own admission, not her, deepens that pain all the more, with Rarity knowing that whatever peace she can find this way, it won’t be with her actual wife.
And the choice to have so these memories solely taken from mundane moments really helps reinforce the realness and rawness of the story. Rarity and Sunset’s life wasn’t a set of picturesque, cinematic moments, despite the adventures of their youth and as much as Rarity might object to the lack of days she worked so hard to stage; it was defined in the real, the lived. And that final memory, of the two of them “existing together in comfortable silence,” just really nails it. Cue the waterworks.
This story had me ugly-sobbing. It is brilliant in its command of emotion, and in capturing the pain Rarity experiences as all her stages of grief crash into each other. Thank you so much for writing and submitting this, and I’m truly honored to have had a hand in inspiring you to craft this masterpiece.
yeah alright that fucked me up
This is so perfect, so wonderful. Exploring all those memories, everything being so inconsequential in the moment and meaning the world later on. I've had that with my girlfriend, those wonderful small notes. I hope I and her, and you and your husband, get as many years as possible.
11573712
Forgive me for taking a few days to finally follow through with this. I'll also preface this by saying I am sorry for how personal this may get.
God. This story. Even now, nearly three weeks since I read it, it still gives me so many feelings and emotions, I almost get overwhelmed just thinking about it. Fetching specifics to talk about is not just difficult—it's navigating an emotional minefield.
Every single time I go back into this story, if I read even just a little bit of it, it threatens to bring me to tears (in fact, while I was typing this, it did yet again), and that's after it has made me a sobbing wreck on more than one occasion. The fact that this got me so good the first time through is already a shining mark of quality, but the fact that it continues to get me—even after reading through it multiple times—should really emphasize how good this is.
I just love every place this fic goes. Watching Sunset and Rarity's relationship bloom into full blown romance, feeling their regret when the reminisce on the time they missed out on, and the celebration of the mundanity at the end of their time together, right before it was cut short by something as cruel as it mundane itself. Despite their extraordinary lives, they're not exempt from the age-old adage: here today, gone tomorrow.
There are a lot of specifics about this that really get to me, too. Sunset's dialog here cuts so much deeper than I can convey without getting too deep into my own personal life:
These were not the only moments like this, but these shook me the most. Bits and pieces like this allowed me to see my own marriage in this. That's probably a big reason I connected with this story so much. That, and all the abject anxiety it inspires about the future—not knowing how I would persist if I lost the love of my life, how unfair I know it would all feel, and how powerless I'd feel in the grand scheme of things—things that keep me up at night. Things no one ever wants to think about until they absolutely have to. Things one can only hope they don't have to think about any time in the near future.
I would love to continue to wax rhapsodic and bloviate about every single thing this fic did right for me, but I'm already going on a bit too much, and I need to step away before I become an emotional wreck (haha just kidding I already am). Every word of this story has so much heart put into it, and all of it hurts so good. Congrats on the second prize victory; this was actually my personal favorite entry of the entire contest, and it's now one of my favorite fics of all time. Thank you so much for making and sharing this.
This was really sweet. All the moments were saw were nice snapshots of their relationship and everyone felt perfectly in character even years after where we last saw them. Sunset not caring for the wedding itself was especially a nice touch.
This is so bittersweet, such a reminder of mortality. <heart>
Oh dear, dear me, holy shit, I haven't cried this much since "The Gift" by Harmony Pie and that one "Days Gone By" PMV about the Apple family and I don't even ship this.