• Member Since 2nd Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 26th, 2017

Joshweiser22


E

Five years after the events of the movie Star Trek: Nemesis (Stardate: 61812.5), the enterprise crew is heading towards their rendezvous with Captain Jean-Luc Picard's Ex-Commander, Riker's, ship to create a peace treaty with the Romulans. On the way, however, they discover some turbulence which forces them to crash land on an unknown planet. Once there, they find pieces of Data who got blown up when destroying the Scimitar (events that occurred in Nemesis). When the away team transports back to the ship, Data is somehow all back to normal and fully functional.
In Equestria, Twilight was writing a letter to the princess when Pinkie Pie arrives at her door inviting her to come to Gummy's 2nd birthday party. Twilight accepts and soon the rest of the Mane 6 arrive at Twilight's place. A strange fog comes in and soon an earthquake occurs. Princess Celestia landed near them to warn them that even though they defeated Discord, reminents of his chaos still remained. They couldn't do anything to stop it other than not create any dis-harmony, as it could make it worse, and possibly awaken Discord once more. Immediately, they all go looking for the Cutie Mark Crusaders and find them, arguing, right next to the statue of Discord.

Picard's next step was to promote Data to his new Commander. By sacrificing himself to save him, the Enterprise, and possibly the entire Alpha-Quadrent, made him more human that any of them. Q suddenly appears on the main screen and shows them the ponies and informs them of how they're soon going to meet each other.

As the CMC continued fighting, they accidentally bumped into the statue of Discord, causing it to break his imprisonment and escape. Princess Celestia goes off for the elements of harmony and the Mane 6 fend him off while she does so. To their surprise, they find out that Discord, in fact, is not the one behind the chaos remainding.

Q opens up a wormhole straight in front of the enterprise and starts sucking them in. They tried to navigate away but make no progress. When Princess Celestia return to the ponies, she informs them that a giant wormhole had appeared near the castle in Canterlot and that they would have to investigate. Little by little the Enterprise was heading closer and closer to the wormhole. Once the ponies arrived in Canterlot, they all saw the huge wormhole, and there was a disk-like object sticking out and coming through it. Little by little, it came out and crashed into Celestia's castle.

The ponies ran to the top floor of the castle where the Enterprise had landed. They couldn't see inside but the crew inside could see them. Nothing was making sense for the Enterprise crew. How could they have landed in a world of fictional cartoon ponies!? Rainbow Dash found a way to get in but finds out it's blocked by a glass-looking surface. She gets prepared for a Sonic Rainboom but ends up going even faster after making the Sonic Rainboom after only half way down. By now, most of the Enterprise crew were in sickbay but the bridge crew got into the turbo lift and started heading to the bridge. Meanwhile, the ponies were entering the Enterprise from the outside into the bridge. They looked around when they heard the doors open and saw the humans coming out. After conversing introductions, Q appeared and took Discord with him. Soon, Admiral Janeway contacts Picard and informs him that Benjamin Sisko, who Picard had some relations with (like killing his wife as a Borg called Locutus and introducing him to Deep Space Nine), had been captured and taken to Equestria. Now all that was left was to find him.

After searching in a few locations in Equestria, Janeway contacted Picard again saying that Sisko was in a forest north of where they were. That's when Fluttershy informed them that that happened to be the creepy and spooky Everfree forest. When they arrived there, they met Zecora who led them to where she had found Sisko. Soon Discord appears and tells them that he actually had been spying on Q because no one could create chaos in Equestria except him. He woke Sisko up from his unconscious state and opened a portal to the past. There would be no way to defeat Q now so the only way to do that would be to go back in time and stop the Enterprise from going through the wormhole. Janeway transports there to help them out. Q, however, appears, and makes the portal disappear. Discord makes it reappear and they go off on a series of appearing and disappearing wormholes until one time, their powers collide creating the portal to crack and break, creating a disruption in the space-time continum and they all fall unconscious.

Everyone wakes up somewhere mysterious. They were in Ponyland (the location of which the show My Little Pony Tales takes place) where they meet Starlight and her friends. After discussing how to go back, the unicorns begin using their magic and the Starfleet officers use their phasers at their horns, creating more power large enough to bring them to the present. After going through the portal, however, they find out that they, in fact, did not make it to the present and actually came about five minutes before they left. They find themselves talking to Zecora. Once Q appeared to stop Discord, the future ponies jumped out to stop them from creating a time anomaly. However, by doing so, they themselves create a paradox forcing themselves to be erased from existence and the entire space-time continuum to collapse on itself, causing it to re-expand in the exact same fashion up until the point where it all started: Q.

Pinkie invites Twilight to her party when the others arrive while Picard promoted Data. After the events from the first few chapters happen and Discord awakens, Q decides that maybe it's time he gives them a chance and increases the power of the elements of harmony to seal away Discord for good. Q also gives the Enterprise crew a chance but giving the Romulans an idea for peace. Picard bid farewell to his good friend Riker and the ponies began partying at Pinkie's party. In unison, both Twilight and Picard say "I wonder what adventure awaits us next."

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 11 )

Umm... Isn't that just telling us a condensed version of the story?

Like in the other history... shrink a bit the description. Here, I will show you:

Link

Please read it. That will help you a lot in gaining views and avoiding thumbs down.

Keep safe! :twilightsmile:

*offers the author the editing machete*
I'm going to be honest here: your current description is keeping me from even trying to read your story. Your wall-o-text description, which a quick skim tells me is a plot summary, isn't going to attract readers. The description is the place to establish what the story is about, in abstract, and building reader interest. It's not the place to explain things, or recap the plot. (Some of us like surprise plot twists and such) Keep the plot summary in your notes, it'll be handy, but don't put it on your story's cover.

Five years after the events of the movie Star Trek: Nemesis (Stardate: 61812.5), the enterprise crew is heading towards their rendezvous with Captain Jean-Luc Picard's Ex-Commander, Riker's, ship to create a peace treaty with the Romulans. On the way, however, they discover some turbulence which forces them to crash land on an unknown planet. Once there, they find pieces of Data who got blown up when
destroying the Scimitar (events that occurred in Nemesis). When the away team transports back to the ship, Data is somehow all back to normal and fully functional.
In Equestria, Twilight was writing a letter to the princess when Pinkie Pie arrives at her door inviting her to come to Gummy's 2nd birthday party. Twilight accepts and soon the rest of the Mane 6 arrive at Twilight's place. A strange fog comes in and soon an earthquake occurs. Princess Celestia landed near them to warn them that even though they defeated Discord, reminents of his chaos still remained. They couldn't do anything to stop it other than not create any dis-harmony, as it could make it worse, and possibly awaken Discord once more. Immediately, they all go looking for the Cutie Mark Crusaders and find them, arguing, right next to the statue of Discord.
Picard's next step was to promote Data to his new Commander. By sacrificing himself to save him, the Enterprise, and possibly the entire Alpha-Quadrent, made him more human that any of them. Q suddenly appears on the main screen and shows them the ponies and informs them of how they're soon going to meet each other.
As the CMC continued fighting, they accidentally bumped into the statue of Discord, causing it to break his imprisonment and escape. Princess Celestia goes off for the elements of harmony and the Mane 6 fend him off while she does so. To their surprise, they find out that Discord, in fact, is not the one behind the chaos remainding.
Q opens up a wormhole straight in front of the enterprise and starts sucking them in. They tried to navigate away but make no progress. When Princess Celestia return to the ponies, she informs them that a giant wormhole had appeared near the castle in Canterlot and that they would have to investigate. Little by little the Enterprise was heading closer and closer to the wormhole. Once the ponies arrived in Canterlot, they all saw the huge wormhole, and there was a disk-like object sticking out and coming through it. Little by little, it came out and crashed into Celestia's castle.
The ponies ran to the top floor of the castle where the Enterprise had landed. They couldn't see inside but the crew inside could see them. Nothing was making sense for the Enterprise crew. How could they have landed in a world of fictional cartoon ponies!? Rainbow Dash found a way to get in but finds out it's blocked by a glass-looking surface. She gets prepared for a Sonic Rainboom but ends up going even faster after making the Sonic Rainboom after only half way down. By now, most of the Enterprise crew were in sickbay but the bridge crew got into the turbo lift and started heading to the bridge. Meanwhile, the ponies were entering the Enterprise from the outside into the bridge. They looked around when they heard the doors open and saw the humans coming out. After conversing introductions, Q appeared and took Discord with him. Soon, Admiral Janeway contacts Picard and informs him that Benjamin Sisko, who Picard had some relations with (like killing his wife as a Borg called Locutus and introducing him to Deep Space Nine), had been captured and taken to Equestria. Now all that was left was to find him.
After searching in a few locations in Equestria, Janeway contacted Picard again saying that Sisko was in a forest north of where they were. That's when Fluttershy informed them that that happened to be the creepy and spooky Everfree forest. When they arrived there, they met Zecora who led them to where she had found Sisko. Soon Discord appears and tells them that he actually had been spying on Q because no one could create chaos in Equestria except him. He woke Sisko up from his unconscious state and opened a portal to the past. There would be no way to defeat Q now so the only way to do that would be to go back in time and stop the Enterprise from going through the wormhole. Janeway transports there to help them out. Q, however, appears, and makes the portal disappear. Discord makes it reappear and they go off on a series of appearing and disappearing wormholes until one time, their powers collide creating the portal to crack and break, creating a disruption in the space-time continum and they all fall unconscious.
Everyone wakes up somewhere mysterious. They were in Ponyland (the location of which the show My Little Pony Tales takes place) where they meet Starlight and her friends. After discussing how to go back, the unicorns begin using their magic and the Starfleet officers use their phasers at their horns, creating more power large enough to bring them to the present. After going through the portal, however, they find out that they, in fact, did not make it to the present and actually came about five minutes before they left. They find themselves talking to Zecora. Once Q appeared to stop Discord, the future ponies jumped out to stop them from creating a time anomaly. However, by doing so, they themselves create a paradox forcing themselves to be erased from existence and the entire space-time continuum to collapse on itself, causing it to re-expand in the exact same fashion up until the point where it all started: Q.
Pinkie invites Twilight to her party when the others arrive while Picard promoted Data. After the events from the first few chapters happen and Discord awakens, Q decides that maybe it's time he gives them a chance and increases the power of the elements of harmony to seal away Discord for good. Q also gives the Enterprise crew a chance but giving the Romulans an idea for peace. Picard bid farewell to his good friend Riker and the ponies began partying at Pinkie's party. In unison, both Twilight and Picard say "I wonder what adventure awaits us next."

cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/28261916.jpg

I love the song you wrote! :pinkiehappy:

Ok, I'm willing to give reading the story a chance, however I must say that a summary that in itself is a condensed version of the entire story is not a good blurb.

A good summary will always hint at something without telling you what is going to happen, leaving you wanting more, thus drawing you in to read the story.

Point in case would be the summary for The Cupcake Chronicles by Milesprower06 - the Author has given a decent short summary, yet you are left desperate to read what happens.

Take a look over your complete story and see what you can summarise in 1 or 2 short paragraphs without revealing the complete plot of the story.
---
EDIT: I have just finished this and unfortunately downvoted, I understand that this was your first fic and congratulate you on a good story idea, however the execution was very choppy.

There never seemed to be any true build up, that said, I think if you went over this and re-wrote it, keeping the core ideas, but expanding upon them you could end up with a better story. But I question the inclusions of Sisko and Janeway fully.
They really didn't add much to the story, and to be honest, it felt like they were thrown in.

Q wouldn't have allowed the discontinuation of the universe as such, and on top of that if you think back to the episode "Deja Q" you would know that the continuum would step in before things got this far.

Overall rating - :pinkiesmile: / 5

While you should take the other's advice, don't let that make you feel depressed. One of my stories is also in the same position, if it helps.

Just so you know, Captain Picard never captained the Enterprise F. That was Captain Va'kel (think I'm saying that right) Shon. Picard only commands the Enterprises D and E.

you literally wrote a summary of the whole story in the description box...
bookhorse is not pleased
:twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2: :twilightangry2:

Short summary:

A crossover between Star Trek and My Little Pony!

That's perfectly okay, but you could've added something like "The Enterprise accidentally visits Equestria."

Long summary:
MASSIVE WALL OF TEXT.
And there's not even any cover art! Despite those problems, I read the story. I've definitely read worse. It's a cute story, but poorly written. You need to start a new paragraph when a new character speaks. It's funny how the new character of Zakura was replaced with Zecora. :rainbowlaugh:

Dash flying at the speed of light? No. :facehoof: (Mostly because she would've burned up in the atmosphere long before she got that fast.)

Biggest mistake: Enterprise-F. It's E. Picard commanded the D and E, but not the F.

Plus, Data was vaporized when the Scimitar blew up, but I'll chalk that up to Q.

To sum it up in a meme:
camo.fimfiction.net/inbyoVlMcxPtSNMlwUYU7PvDDa-PIlQDOaAUTM6JTro?url=http%3A%2F%2Fs2.quickmeme.com%2Fimg%2Fdd%2Fddd25bdcc9b156390f5fdd78d98aec49528bd4996a0d9f71005a3c06d8d8ab93.jpg

I did like the rewritten theme song! :moustache:
If you ever come back, Joshweiser, a good proofreader could make this a much better story.

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