Helping a friend out

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your country.

Confirm

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Vivid Syntax

Vivid Syntax #1 · Dec 11th, 2022 · · ·

A very creative take on older Spike's character. You could use another editing pass, but I appreciated the changes to rhe scenery throughout.

mrmidnight

mrmidnight #2 · Dec 11th, 2022 · 1 · ·

11446577
glad you were able to enjoy how I wrote this interaction of Spike, he was fun to right and ytou're right I could have done another pass, but this was more just a side thing from my other works heh but thanks for the first review

Bicyclette

Bicyclette #3 · Feb 12th, 2023 · 2 · ·

so i wanted to say that this started off with good potential, going a bit into worldbuildilng about the Changelings, and setting Spike up to be very oblivious about Thorax’s feelings for him while also feeling his own unexpected attraction. the premise of Changelings transforming to fulfill a fantasy about a specific pony is a classic premise, if a bit morally fraught, and the idea that Thorax finds it difficult to keep a female form for long due to his own gender identity is one that works very well with that premise. these elements could’ve come together to form a great smut story of gay self-discovery.

but the gay-by-deception bit in the middle is jarring, especially juxtaposed with the bit about consent that happened right before. not that a story couldn’t have that element and still work, but it feels out of place in a story that’s otherwise fairly light on characterization.

mrmidnight