FIRST

i will read this later

Awesome and awkward all at once and haw did Lightning find her please tell and where is Thunder

HUZZA!!! FORTUNATE AND GRACEFUL IS THIS DAY THAT THOU HATH CHOSEN WE MORTALS AS PROPER AND WORTHY ENOUGH OF THY GIFTS AND INTELECTUAL MIGHT!!!

Ahem... Cool story brotha! Been waiting for this since i finished Pulling through! Insta fav!

Image: http://vipdictionary.com/img/16692-010846-6745f7fa9ec1ef99a87d18e6416407ef.jpg

please continue good sir.

MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR  MOAR

yush this pleases meh

second person as rainbow dash ?

or just for this chapter?

That's Rainbow for ya.  Thinks her first boyfriend is perfect cause she left his ass before seeing the bad things she could live with but would annoy her enough to get over him should she never see him again.

basically she sees him as:

When he's more:

YESSS FINALLY

Might I say sir, you are in my list of favorite authors at this point

Edit:

I'm surprised you DIDN'T have some other pegasus arrive at her door for her to boss around. That way Lightning could show up later and discover that she found feelings for the other pony, and drama could ensue.

However, this could be good. I'd like to see where this goes.

>be lightning

>finally track down your marefriend after five years

>see her opening the door

>no >rape occurs

>mfw

Image: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m98suzy5lI1rzacgmo1_400.jpg

If I was Lightning I wouldn't wait for her to react, I'd savage that ass before she even realized it was me.

WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! I cant wait for rainbows reaction

FOR

ALL

THAT

IS

GOOD

AND

HOLY

PLEASE

UPDATE

IN

THE

NEXT

TWENTY-FOUR

HOURS!!!!

sooo awesome

>>13331971333197 I second this comment!

>>13331971333197

You sir have just made my night and now I can finally go to sleep...

Thank god it's 3 am

Not good enough cliffhangers are bad

GIVE MAH M0AR CHAPTERS NOAW!!!

(give mah moar chapters noaw!!!)

whens the next one going to be done

THAT'S IT!!!

*pulls out party cannon*

You better have the next chapter up by 12:00 EST tommorrow, or I will go ape shit crazy.

Le me drinking Mountain Dew

Sees ending

Though predictable....

Has to clean computer screen

   Pfft, not bad for an opening I guess.

Image: http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/j/ajliarplz.gif?1

   Hope there is some good drama in this story, afterall its hard to reconnected to an old lover that she left years ago who could have possibly moved on from his life and possibly found a new love interest in his life. Anyhow, it'll be interesting to see what happens from here. Hope it turns out well into your liking man.

GIVE ME THE CHAPTER ALREADY GODDAMMIT!!!

wow i thought i was the demanding one but guess not myhe01 wins the title most demanding person ever *crowd goes wild*

I love you,author

>>13442751344275

Image: http://www.myfacewhen.net/uploads/868-you-seem-upset.jpg

when the next one going to be done damn it ,khgfckhvchvcjhgvcjgvcjgvcjgf

i want the next and i wanted now the suspense is killing me litterally i cant take very much longer>>13531841353184

but keep up the good work i ur stories

I give up, I'll just wait. *sigh*

i know the feelin myhe01 but u are still the most demanding

Seriously author? It's been like, a bajillion weeks since the story got started. Please, please, update this story as soon as possible. Everyday you wait to upload it, I get sad.

i still the feeling myhe01 im also getting sad but with a hint of anger

oh and author u got a challenger on good stories he is called "daBeeJees" he wrote two really good stories "a golden flame and a new life" both extremely funny with its references

When are you gonna update your story was awesome and you leave us hanging on the sequel GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THE PRECIOUS

Chapter? No. Chapter? No.

Still waiting

Sorry for the lack in any updates

We've been moving house and unpacking. Adding to that, internet problems.

I will promise to update in the next day or 2.

* Pinkie pie promise*

>>13641491364149

You'd better keep that pinkie promise...

Or I'll find you

Where's the promise?

>>13641491364149

According to the time stamp on your comment, you have 8 hours to post the new chapter, or you will have broken your Pinkie promise, and NOPONY breaks a Pinkie promise, because breaking a Pinkie promise is the fastest way to lose your readers.

FOREVER.

u know he said 1 or 2 days not just 1 but that doesn't mean can't go find him and make a cupcake

out of his very heart

first bitches

luv the story now i will call off from ur room where she was hiding and tell her to go make cupcakes out of someone else who is taking there sweet time with their next story

Okthis just got crazy

damn my reaction when I said that

Image: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ_Sp6Y-S1JZy8kMwEiKCs6dh79ekQNvGXE2daO5bGqm8CApKTLUw

And now he is offically in:

Image: https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSIgJSlzoIGQ_EI5Ia_33g_HRrbvemq24GNq-TCy0IBkMDh-Vo06g

As they say in America ,"ITS RAPING TIME"

yes yes it is >>13765501376550

FRIGGIN' FINALLY!!!

i know myhe01

Also, kinda rushed in the middle.

Very good. I thought it would end at the door.

Well done

Keep up the good work

BRACE YOURSELF

THE SHITSTORM OF OUR TIME IS UPON US.

Nice.

Looking forward to the next chapters.

that chapter wasnt enough to satisfy my hunger for MOAR

Okay I'm sorry here but, she just randomly leaves him and he moves on with his life and when she finds out about it SHE gets upset?

Sorry but if I was Lightning and she did that to me and I found out she was there I would be PISSED. Just leaves and then expects to continue on as normal.

I oh so love this story and would love to see more pwees

i love it awseome chapter

twilight................get ma'h rope!!

Nice chapter, although I would have moved on if I had been hit the back of my head.

I can imagine Rainbow Dash laughing like a manic while she plans out your makeup sex torture.

Finaly I've been waiting to read this for so long, keep writing.

<sigh> God, bondage terrifies me to no end.

It was an okay chapter anyway.

NEED M0AR!

Rly author? I demand updates now! GIMMIE YOUR DAMN UPDATES! OR I'LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS!

SEX SLAVE!

>>14157141415714 I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!*Cough* *Cough*

I'm starting to develop cancer due to lack of chapters..

Author please help me!!!

Ok Did not see that coming Great Cliff hanger.

WRITE MORE.

STILL waiting for those chapters

I'm bored.

OHMYGURD MOREEEEEE! On the contuary, fucking BRILLIANT chapter! Lov'd the cliffhanger, :3

k admiting it now....you're better.  WAY better in fact.  I saw a little deviation of character here and there but i don't see any major issues with this story.  I personally think you should have more likes in this story than the other one.  Right now your story deserves more attention that it is actually getting.

Though you seem to be uninterested in this story at the moment.  But don't hesitate to tell me that I'm wrong and life is actually hitting you in the face.  Though it would disappoint me if you''re giving up on writing because unlike most people who write, you have a lot of potential that can possibly lead to great things in the future.

NOW THE AUTHOR IS DEAD!!!

When is the next CHAPTER

so whens the next

Well, THAT escalated quickly , also....MORE!!!!!

Seriously?  DID YOU GIVE UP ON US?!?!  I READ THE SEQUEL AND I HATE YOUR GRAMMER!  DO THIS FOR ME PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll be your best friend :D

Yes This was what I was waiting for

I applaud your magnificence my good sir, bravo!

FIRCKIN' FINALLY!!!

Thank you my good sir for posting another chapter of this wonderous story.

awesome awesome awesome awesome i give it 10 spikes

She is going to punish him for calling her a bitch. I fear for the safety of his rib-cage, as starters

-Shadow F.

FINALLY.

I loved the first story and I have been waiting FOREVER for this to come out.

For being a little rusty, you did a pretty good job.

Keep at it.

Took you years to get back to us mate.

FINALLY

FIIIIIIIINNNNNNAAAAALLLLLLYYYY

Along with everyone else,

FINALLY!

Wooooooooooooooooooioooooo

Finaly

KEEP THEM TOGETHER AND BRING BACK THUNDER HOOF AND FLUTTERSHY OR ELICE BUT GOOD STORY I GIVE IT 10/10 mustashies

[img]http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/guy-jumps-out-of-window-suddenly.gif/[img]

MRW girls play bitchy-dovey

I hope you understand... I have very high hopes in you my friend. Pulling Through was glorious, so glorious in fact, that it made me actually excited to read it, one of the few stories that has actually managed to do that. And this one, this one is coming along nicely, the mere name makes me jump into action as soon as I see an update.

You = Genius.

Please, write more. Colgate would appreciate it...

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_bedroomeyes.png

I honestly want to know if anyone else noticed this. So, anyway, I read your whole story, up to this point, just to provide valid feedback.

And it is one of the things people writing fanfiction seem to mess up most... Characterization...

I'm not sure if it was intentional or what...? But, let me tell you... your character is one of the BIGGEST... doormats I have ever seen.

He is the doormat... of doormats. Fluttershy is less of a doormat than him... and his only discernible personality trait(to me), is that he is a flying carpet...

That whole "Master and Slave" bit... It was already like that. He gets punished for no reason, he has almost no freedom as a character, and he has no character. He just stands there like a deer caught in headlights...

I already know that all of your adoring fans are probably going to just sit here and call me a troll or a hater... and they may be right about the second one; I hate bad characterization. But honestly, I hated it... your character made this story an eyesore to me...

>>17241741724174

Nope you're pretty much in the ball in the park there.

Ranting time:

IMO, after 4-5 years, I would have just moved the hell on.

Think about it, Dash left you with a note, and you never heard from her again. You had multiple one night stands afterwards. After year 2, without contact, mind you, it should have been pretty much game over for that relationship.

You have no idea where she's gone, what's she's done, or who she may now be with.

Then, as you 'try to get away from it all,' Dash pops back up and expects things to continue just like they used to, and you just go along with it.

Maybe after a little warming up it would be possible to be friends again, but I would have been amazingly pissed off to see her again at that moment after leaving so suddenly and in such a despicable way, then saying "Where were you?" and acting as if nothing happened. Somepony would have gotten beat. I would have just turned around with a loud "NOPE!" and walked my handsome arse outta there.

For her to get mad at the mention of sleeping with other ponies? That's even worse. She LEFT you with nothing. What the hell did she think was going to happen?

What else, what else?

I think that about does it. </rant>

I also read through your first story, and while your spelling and grammar are getting better, I would still recommend getting a good editor. There are more than a few mistakes. I really like the premise of the story, but maybe listen to TooNAimi, give your OC a bit of fight. I would have said that that letter way back when was the straw that broke the camels back and I would have been done with Dash's crap. After years of playing on a pro wingball team, one would think you'd have been less of a pushover, especially towards someone who seriously screwed your life and psyche all those years ago.

The feels, they are back...but dems good feels!

I'm not sure if Lightning is really a doormat like others said, or he just REALLY likes the feeling of being dominated O_o

Physics are like women.

You may not understand the rules but you still have to conform to them