• Member Since 29th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 26th, 2020

My Only Weakness


T

Warning
Grammer and spelling mistakes are in this story, You want any explanation go to This chapter

[2nd person]
You were getting tired of living the same old routine and living in a big city. You decide to move to a whole new place. What lies in store for you there?

Your Name is StarGazer



Proofreader for this story is Dakilladj (Or Dak)

Chapters (25)
Comments ( 233 )

Unless it has something to do with the plotline, i'm pretty sure it's supposed to be, "Your Little adventure"

1893449
Oh is it? well thanks I'll be sure to change it

I'm not sure if I'll read this or not, but your first impression isn't very good grammar wise. The title should be capitalized as "Your Little Adventure" just as MLP is "My Little Pony" not "My little pony."

After your title, we have the first part of the description.

You were getting tired of living the same old routine and living in a big city. You decide to move to a whole new place. What lies in store for you there?

Pick a tense, were is past and the other two are to the extent of my knowledge (not far) present.

Then we have the final part of the description, which just seems awkward

You're Name is Stargazer

I'm not going to bold anything this time, You're is a shortening of You Are. "You Are Name is Stargazer" sounds wrong and is wrong; Your is the correct one. It's the same problem in the first chapter's title. Then, "Your Name is Stargazer" would work in capitalization, but only if it was the title. It's almost aggravating to see that you use the proper capitalization for a sentence on a title, and the proper capitalization of a title for a sentence.
TLDR- "Your name is Stargazer."

[Edit] For the love of all that is good, YOU'RE means YOU ARE and YOUR is POSSESSIVE. Click this for more information. :twilightangry2:

Sounds promising.... Il keep an eye on it...:trixieshiftright:

I've read your current chapters, and I would have to recomend you get a proofer. The grammer was beyond just destracting ^-^'

I'am apparently oblivious to others feelings.:ajbemused:

I am finding a lot of grammar mistakes,spelling mistakes or a different wored in places then what should be there, like "hold back their tired"

8 dislikes?
Now that aint fair at all!
This is a pretty good story.:eeyup:

1949075
I honestly don't care about the dislikes, As long as people are enjoying the story that's all i care about

"Rapes his arm around you."
I have trouble reading this. Alot.

1949098 Well I absolutely love this story and look forward to seeing it continued! :pinkiehappy:

A very nice story I can’t wait for the next chapter. :rainbowlaugh::twilightsmile:

Wow they won I said with a sarcastic tone

You should have called slender pony slender mane

This is awesome:rainbowkiss: and I knew that Dash would show up:eeyup:

If it's a second person fic, doesn't it need the "Other character" tag?

If you want a beta reader, and don't have one yet, I'll do it if you want. I like where the story is going, it just hurts me on the inside. I can't hold back all of these tires.

1963287
That's not a bad idea, I may take you up on that offer

Comment posted by Kabuto901 deleted Jan 16th, 2013

Your story shows promise, but I highly recommend getting another person to edit your story. Not only will this supply you with extra ideas, it will also help you with your somewhat preference for the misused "you're" as opposed to "your." Your editor might also help you with adding a little more detail to your story. As it is, you have a good story, but it doesn't really paint a picture for the reader.

Keep at it!

I totally thought Big Mac was gonna beat some ass haha. If you put Big Mac avenging "me" I will love you forever. :eeyup:

The main problem with this story (to me) is that "I" don't really have any choices. "I" just sort of get paraded around and told where to go. "I" also don't have any real fight in "me". All it takes to convince "me" to do something is to ask a second time with occasional puppy dog eyes.

Apart from that:
Numerous grammatical and spelling errors

...And "my" Mom cries tires... :applejackconfused:

i made it this far before you horrible spelling and pure butchery of dashed personality became too much..

BBQ? ponies. eating. BBQ?..................
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

NO! PLEASE! don't worry about it. the plot's good, the stories good, i'm enjoying it, so PLEASE don't cancel it! i'm begging ya!:raritycry::fluttercry:

Yout first I needs to be capitalized

Shut up Apple dash this is a god story I swear to god if you critisiz I will come after you:twilightangry2::facehoof:

1985217

Dyslexia is a very broad term defining a learning disability

1985637 Then i must have that.

Noooo please don’t cancel this story. Everyone who is worried about is spelling stop you should be thanking him that he took the time out of his day to wright this story for us to in joy. So I will start it thanks for the story I hope that it will continue. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Dakilladj deleted Jan 20th, 2013

1990888 i didn't, what you taking about?

I proofread this, so if there are any mistakes, its my bad.

I like the story and if people are critisiz just ignore them becasuse I got your back

Am I the only one to spot lowercase I's

You... you added my name in your stories?
I'm so fucking happy right now!
Sure, this isn't really part of the story, more like a author's note, but still.
I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!

Yaaa an update:twilightsmile: I am glad to see that you continue with this story I can't wait to see what will happen in the next chapter. :twilightsheepish::rainbowlaugh:

Also, Please don't cancel this! Forget about people who don't like it! Just finish it!

Ok sweet endings what is going to happen to thundering lane pleas tell me he gets beat up

I just want him get punched or somthing

Comment posted by My Only Weakness deleted Jan 21st, 2013

So why in the chapter was he called two names?
Star Wings and Star Gazer?

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