A symbol falls, and what it stands for soon follows.
When devastating events occur, shattering the hearts and minds of ponies everywhere, many will have their spirits tested, their resolve questioned.
Their world torn asunder, and with the threat of a cosmic horror, a select few souls will traverse a universe very different to the one they know, and one where the symbols they stand for do not exist.
And no single pony will be able to restore harmony to their world.
But they will never be alone.
Nothing is forever.
Chapters (1)
Well, here goes my foray into serious fiction.
First comment reserved.
First Impressions:
Let's start at the very beginning, the title. 'Silence of the Alicorns' is one I have not seen before, and by using the term 'Alicorn', to me it seems to say how there are more alicorns than just the princesses we know. That is, on it's own, not that unique an idea, but your description definitely gives it a more unique pitch. The description is extremely well-written, it gives out just enough to intrigue the reader, but leaves out enough that they want to continue reading. And then there is that ending line of the description 'Nothing is forever', that is a great tagline and is a certain hook, it certainly drew me in.
Then there is that opening paragraph, starting with 'This is the end' is a good idea, it sets the tone for the entire piece and definitely gets the reader's attention. The following part gives off an air of inevitability, one which certainly intrigues me. There is not much in the way of character descriptions in the opening scene, though they aren't exactly necessary as you seem to be keeping with the canon appearances of the characters, and the talk of inevitable ends more than makes up for it. From my read-through, the grammar and spelling seem to be mostly spot-on, which is definitely a good sign. While you seem overly-verbose at times, that's not really a problem, as long as you keep up the serious tone of the piece.
Overall, this seems like an excellent start, it certainly gave me a good first impression of it, it is rather unique, well written and the story definately draws you in. That was my first impressions of this story, based on the opening scene, they would be longer, but it's really hard to write this on an iPod. Anyway, I hope this helped.
Dan - First Impressions Reviewer
1546381
Thank you for the review! I wrote this first chapter to be rather mysterious, hopefully keeping the reader intrigued long enough to read through as the story goes in interesting directions.
One thing I am concerned about is that I feel there wasn't enough emotion for what happens in this first chapter. It's intended for setting the stage, and while this isn't meant to be 'sad', so to speak, I think I should write that a bit better.
I'm definitely going to keep this in mind. I'm trying to give the story the best possible chance on first upload, do you think I should add many more chapters before submission?
1546417 I personally would recommend having two chapters before uploading, this first one for setting the scene, and the second for introducing characters and themes. Any more any you might put off potential readers due to the word count. That's just my personal opinion though.
1546456
Hmm, yes, that sounds about right. Though, perhaps three chapters might be necessary, if I go with my original plan to have a non-linear chapter from Celestia's viewpoint.
Also, upon upload, should I remove these comments? I can easily have them saved.
1546490 Perhaps delete our comments talking about how many chapters to hav before uploading, but I see no reason why that first comment or the review should be deleted.
1546535
Will do. I'll leave them for now while I try to get around to writing more of this between other duties and general procrastination.
1546550 Good luck
Hey, an Array story. This, I have to see.
1546550
It seems you never DID get around to it.
Good job.
I'll be visiting to correct that.