• Member Since 21st May, 2013
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Samey90

I have no heart and my avatar makes everything sound sexual. Also, It's pronounced "sam-ee".

Samey90 Joined 21st May, 2013 · Offline

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Camp Everfree gets a new zipline while Diamond Tiara copes with her parents' divorce.

Very loosely based on a possibly (un)true story.

Prereading and bouncing ideas around by Sock.
Chapters (1)
Complete Published: Nov 8th, 2022 Download
8,244 words
Comments ( 18 )
Mockingbirb
Mockingbirb #2 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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Babs turned to Timber. “We once watched cows fuck and she still ain’t getting it.

Either they were cattle, not only cows, or that might have been a more unusual and educational sight than many people are blessed to see.

But I guess it's very in character for Babs to not understand that.

Samey90
Samey90 #3 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
Reply

11417235
Babs is from Manehattan (or New York in the human case?). During her first visit at Sweet Apple Acres she tried to milk a bull.

Lurks-no-More
Lurks-no-More #4 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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I'm not sure if this is better described as "stupidly brilliant" or "brilliantly stupid".

Either case, it's some damn funny black comedy. Extra points for the character choices, which are just perfect. Also, stupid sexy Sci-Twi!

Axolotl222
Axolotl222 #5 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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“Eh, he’s a bit busy.” Apple Bloom flipped the page. “Besides, I already made all the calculations. We can make a loop here! How cool is that? Have y’all ever seen a waterslide with a loop?”

Fun fact, someone actually tired this in real life:

upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/78/Action_Park_looping_water_slide.jpg

Acadians6545
Acadians6545 #6 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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Timber smirked. “Who did you murder?”

Filthy Rich's future children.

“We?” Apple Bloom asked. “What were y’all doin’ aside from drinkin’ beer, peein’ all over the place, and then drinkin’ more beer?”

Replace drinking beer with smoking pot, and you have my life.

Babs stood up and crushed the beer can in her hand. “Sandbags are for pussies,” she said, grabbing onto the pulley. “Hold my beer dude and watch. Apple Bloom! Witness me!”

Ah yes the southern version of screaming LEROY JENKINS.

Sweetie Belle blushed. “This only happened once.”

Reminds me of Rezar.

Acadians6545
Acadians6545 #7 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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“Creative bookkeeping,” Diamond Tiara replied. “Come on, let’s push Silver down the zipline before she tells you the details!”

Ah yes the al Capone special.

“Ask my sister.” Timber shrugged. “Hey, Silver! I’m gonna show you who’s the real volleyball boss!” he exclaimed, some half a second before a stray volleyball hit him in the crotch.

Beautiful amount of nut abuse as always, good to have you back you hilarious bastard.

FanOfMostEverything
FanOfMostEverything #8 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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Sweetie Belle drove a bulldozer

You can't just post this kind of thing without the Gore tag... though I suppose Death makes up for it.

“Basal skull fracture, spine in at least three pieces, cracked ribs, organs aren’t even good for transplantation, and you’re saying it was the scissors that killed her.” Silver Spoon rolled her eyes. “This is ridiculous.”

... How did Silver Spoon's family make their money again?

then he started to explain the code he was writing to a–”
“Rubber duck?” Silver Spoon asked.
“Worse,” Scootaloo replied. “A plush shark.”

Ah, blahajing. An advanced form of rubber duckery.

“Survival of the fittest.” Scootaloo grinned. “Those who survive the zipline are worthy of living.”

Conclusion: Best Human is the ultimate life form, as we all knew. :derpytongue2:

Apple Bloom opened her notebook. “See, there’s a bit of a free place near the shore, right? What about we build a giant waterslide there? Like, really huge.”

There's nothing in the world like (Tr)Action Park!

Wonderful comedy of errors, some more deadly than others. Thank you for one heck of a ride.

GrandCat
GrandCat #9 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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Diamond Tiara nodded, pulling out a calling card from under her t-shirt. “Titanikov, Whitestarski, and Iceberg,” she said. “The best lawyers the money can buy.”
Timber looked at the calling card. “Are they good?”

It reminds me one anecdote.
" - This is "Rabinovich, Katz, Kogan and Ivanov" law factory? I would like to hire Mr.Ivanov.
- Mr. Ivanov is busy now, but Mr. Rabinovich and Mr. Kogan are free. May I schedule you to one of them?
- No, Mr. Ivanov looks really crafty - he managed to worm his way into such company".

Samey90
Samey90 #10 · Nov 9th, 2022 · · ·
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11417621
Oh yeah, I saw that twitter thread and my first thought was "Gloriosa tells Timber to build a zipline" followed by "who's good at building stuff?"
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/2/14/1087580.gif

11417644
Yeah, that's why Timber doesn't approve.

11417657

Filthy Rich's future children.

Oof.

the southern version

Very southern.

11417668

You can't just post this kind of thing without the Gore tag... though I suppose Death makes up for it.

I guess those who didn't learn to get out of the way already are no longer with us.

... How did Silver Spoon's family make their money again?

Cleaning, so to speak.

Conclusion: Best Human is the ultimate life form, as we all knew. :derpytongue2:

Of course she is.

RK_Striker_JK_5
RK_Striker_JK_5 #11 · Nov 10th, 2022 · · ·
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This was insane in the best possible way. I... have no idea where to begin to sing your praises for this crackiest of crackfics. Just complete crazy from start to finish, with a side-order of Sci-Twi in thigh-high stockings. :D

Still wondering why they pressed on with the idea no matter how dangerous it was.

SlimCognito
SlimCognito #12 · Nov 11th, 2022 · · ·
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A genuinely amazing comedy that had me laughing hard with some of its jokes. I particularly love how the EQS cast stayed just enough in character while acting increasingly exaggerated and insane. The delayed punchlines for some of the jokes made re-reading this all the better!

Thought Prism
Thought Prism #13 · Nov 12th, 2022 · · ·
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Dammit, Twilight, and you call yourself an engineer? The best solution is obviously to just move the starting platform lower down the mountain. For real though, this was fun. 'Scootadead' was funnier than it had any right to be.

Samey90
Samey90 #14 · Nov 13th, 2022 · · ·
Reply

11418536

Still wondering why they pressed on with the idea no matter how dangerous it was.

Sunk cost fallacy?

11420222
I guess Gloriosa would have to "ask" Filthy Rich for more money then...

hawthornbunny
hawthornbunny #15 · Dec 9th, 2022 · · ·
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Have y’all ever seen a waterslide with a loop?

oh my god no

Samey90
Samey90 #16 · Dec 10th, 2022 · · ·
Reply

11445312
Those who survived Camp Everfree were never the same...

MrHeliuminium
MrHeliuminium #17 · Apr 5th, 2023 · · ·
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I have no idea of what i just read it was amazing

Acadians6545
Acadians6545 #18 · May 10th, 2023 · · ·
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Timber smirked. “Who did you murder?”

She swallowed filthy rich's kids.

“Creative bookkeeping,” Diamond Tiara replied. “Come on, let’s push Silver down the zipline before she tells you the details!”

I don't think the IRS will like that...then again the IRS can eat smegma.

“Ask my sister.” Timber shrugged. “Hey, Silver! I’m gonna show you who’s the real volleyball boss!” he exclaimed, some half a second before a stray volleyball hit him in the crotch.

Just got shit luck bro.

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