Rainbow’s cheek rested against the cool glass window aboard the thrumming railcar bound for Las Pegasus. She stared blankly outside, barely registering the passing darkness. The real focus of her thoughts was at her side: Twilight Sparkle.
Her gaze drifted from the exterior of the train into the warmly lit interior and settled upon the unicorn curled up with a book. She wanted to prepare herself for the challenges which awaited them, but her thoughts eluded her command. Instead, they teased her with endless dreams of lilacs swathed in lavender.
She allowed a little sigh to escape her lips, but it wasn’t without a smile. Somehow, it was impossible to be upset. The trials and tribulations they shared together strengthened her resolve day by day. She would recapture the sky and fulfill her dreams from all those years ago—if not for herself, then for the unicorn she shared the world with. Perhaps I can share my dreams, too.
“A bit for your thoughts, Dashie?”
Rainbow quickly looked back to the window, trying to remain nonchalant. “Huh? Oh. Nothing, really. Just zoning out.” Suddenly, the darkness outside became very interesting. She stared out into it, trying to fight back the blush which threatened to overtake her cheeks. Internally, she felt a little silly for blushing at the thought of sneaking glances at Twilight. Twilight didn’t seem concerned, though. Instead, the studious unicorn followed up with another question.
“Want to hear about what I’ve been reading?”
Rainbow breathed out slowly and settled back against the seat. She knew the change of topic practically guaranteed Twilight’s mind was elsewhere. She waved a hoof casually and responded. “Sure, Twi, though I might fall asleep.” The faintest of giggles briefly trickled through her ears in response to her comment. Before she could investigate, a warm body joined her on the seat. It snuggled up against her and nuzzled up against her neck. Just like that, the threat of the blush returned.
“Are you going to fall asleep now?” The question was playful, perhaps even a little mischievous.
Doing her best to keep it cool, Rainbow chuckled and wrapped a forehoof around Twilight. “I might. I’m at least twice as comfortable than I was before.”
“I guess I’m going to have to make this extra entertaining.” Twilight responded playfully.
Rainbow gulped, not apparent enough for Twilight to notice, but she gulped nonetheless. The emphasized word sent her thoughts completely in the wrong direction. The slightest hint of pink filled her cheeks. “W-what do you have in mind?” she managed to stutter out between the gulp and the rising heat in her cheeks.
“Lecture aids!” Twilight proclaimed proudly and the window shimmered in a magenta glow. Moments later, an image of their credit chip materialized upon the glass.
Rainbow’s daydreams crumbled as quickly as they formed. She groaned and banged her head against the glass. “Why, Twi, why?”
“Because I got curious. Aren’t you interested in finding out how the credit press machines know my name?”
Rainbow sighed a little and shrugged. Typical Twilight, answering the question everypony was least interested in. Putting that aside for now, she humored her companion and answered Twilight’s question with an actual answer. “Isn’t that because it’s carved on the the chip itself?”
“Well, yes, but there’s more than that. Each chip has a gem inside which stores resonant magical information. The credit press reads this resonance and displays the information on the readouts.”
“Egghead stuff, right.” Rainbow smirked and gave Twilight an affectionate squeeze in case her playful tone of voice went unnoticed. “So, I guess Celestia had the bank issue one in your name?”
Twilight smiled, obviously taking the playful ribbing in stride. “Not just any bank. The United Equestrian Bank. They’re the only ones allowed to issue credit chips. I only toyed around with it for a bit, but ours is extra special.”
Rainbow quickly discovered discussions about credit chips was the perfect way to fight down a blush. Her heartbeat settled and she affectionately ruffled Twilight’s mane. “Twi, this train ride has given you a lot of free time, hasn’t it?”
“Oh, but this is exciting! We have a very special gem inside our credit chip. It’s a Amethyst Star Crystal.” Twilight’s tongue involuntarily slipped out of her mouth as she concentrated on the glass window. The golden layers of the magically projected credit chip peeled away and revealed a six-pointed purple gem inlaid within the chip.
Twilight traced her hoof over the glass thoughtfully. “I’m pretty sure the design isn’t a coincidence. It’s kind of an honor to see Celestia go through the effort of locating such a rare gem for a credit chip.”
Rainbow didn’t respond. Instead, her vision focused upon the twinkling urban stars of pony creation in the distance. The lights filled the darkness against the night and stood as a testament to the great accomplishments of their generation.
Twilight tilted her head and looked at Rainbow curiously. Normally, the pegasus was at least somewhat attentive to her lectures. But, in this case, she completely lost Rainbow’s focus. She reached out and gently pressed a forehoof against the pegasus’s side.“Dashie? Is something wrong?”
“Look, Twi. It’s Las Pegasus. I haven’t seen it in years.”
The magical display fizzled away from the window and a glittering metropolis in the distance replaced it. The innumerable lights boldly announced the technological prowess of their destination. As their train approached, the outlines of buildings started to take shape, magnificent spires jutting into the sky. Row upon row of lit windows rose up through the darkness until they were obscured by the thick haze spread low upon the city.
Dozens of flashing red indicator lights buoyed upon clouds pulsated through the smoke. Between the lights, a steady stream of airships flowed in and out of the central aerodrome like a busy intersection. Las Pegasus was more than just a port of commerce and center of gambling. Las Pegasus was a national hub, an engine which partially powered all of Equestria.
Twilight leaned closer to Rainbow as their transport roared into the city. The lights disappeared from view and the exterior darkened within the train tunnel. The darkness didn’t last. Instead, it served as a means to dramatically introduce the highrises. Twilight craned her neck upward and gasped at the tall buildings which reappeared through their window. “Has Las Pegasus always been this flashy?”
Rainbow extended her wing and tightened it around Twilight. “I think so. Las Pegasus was the first place I toured with the Wonderbolts. I haven’t been back since, though.”
The announcement speaker in the compartment crackled to life. Over the thrum of the train’s engines, a single violin struck up a melodious musical style of a classical theme. As the train slowed, the music grew bolder and more grandeur. A rising crescendo echoed through cabin and obscured the sound of the brakes as the train pulled into Las Pegasus Central.
The music faded and an enthusiastic voice took its place. “Welcome to Las Pegasus, the greatest city in all of Equestria! If you can’t find it here, you won’t find it anywhere. Enjoy your stay! We hope to fulfil your every desire!”
“Well, that’s a strange thing to say,” Rainbow remarked in a hushed voice.
“I agree. It’s certainly an odd way of welcoming ponies. I’m not sure I like it.” Twilight gestured at all the ponies waiting outside their railcar. Some sported classy suits. Others were more flamboyant with excessive color and trappings. “How many of those ponies do you think are waiting for hapless tourists?”
“Probably all of them. Especially the one that looks like one of Rarity’s hats.” Rainbow chuckled at her own joke. “Want to avoid them?”
“I was just about to suggest that myself.”
“We’re making a habit of sneaking off of trains, Twi.” Rainbow made a face at the waiting ponies outside. Her brow furrowed when she didn’t even get a single dirty look. “Are they all made of stone, too?”
“Dashie, it’s privacy glass, that’s why we couldn’t see into the train in Appleloosa either.”
“Oh, heh. Right. So, sneaking off the train?”
“Lead the way. Let me just grab my saddlebag.” Twilight flicked her horn with practiced ease and fetched her bag from across the room. Pulling away from Rainbow’s wing with a sigh, she squirmed under the increased weight of the bag until it was comfortable. “Ok, ready. Let’s get out of here before they come aboard the train.”
Escaping the train without incident turned out to be easy. Twilight surmised the gaudily dressed ponies were only waiting for the wealthier passengers. So, when they exited the train near the front, they managed to mingle their way through the crowd unnoticed. She trotted alongside Rainbow and took in the sights and smells of her surroundings. The station appeared unusually clean at first; the walls were whitewashed and the ceilings painted a light blue, most likely to represent the obscured sky. However, upon closer inspection, she could see the dust collecting at the corners, the occasional piece of litter discarded behind magnificent statues, and the chipping paint where service ponies worked.
She gasped once more as she set hoof into the city-space proper. Las Pegasus was beautiful at first glance. Distant skyline buildings were no comparison for seeing them all up close. Her head swirled around as she tried to count the number of skyscrapers surrounding her.
“Beautiful, isn’t it, miss?”
Rainbow spun around, wings flared, her fight mechanism fully ready to defend herself. She found herself face-to-face with a plain-looking earth pony sporting a pink bowtie and a wide smile.
“I didn’t mean to startle you two. I apologize.”
The glow around Twilight’s horn faded when she heard the apology. “That’s quite all right. Dashie and I are just a little on edge since we’re new here.” It was a partial truth, but she wasn’t keen on sharing her near-death experience with a stranger. She extend a forehoof and gently stroked it over Rainbow’s mane.
“I understand. I wouldn’t have bothered you two if you were both regulars to the city. It’s my job to greet every new pony I see in Las Pegasus!”
Rainbow narrowed her eyes but allowed her wings to settle with Twilight’s reassuring hoof over her neck. “Why’s that? Keeping tabs on everypony coming through here?”
The unknown pony took a step back and shook his head. “Of course not! Madame Pinkie asks that I greet every new pony in Las Pegasus and invite them to P-Three.” He pulled a card out of his breast pocket and held it toward Twilight. “And here you are. Two free admittances to P-Three—for first time visitors of course. Come and have some fun.”
Twilight raised her eyebrow and looked at the card. She picked it up with her magic and flipped it over a few times in front of her. “Did you say...Madame Pinkie?”
“That’s right. Madame Pinkie hosts the best parties in Las Pegasus, and she loves sharing them with everypony.”
Twilight exchanged a meaningful look with Rainbow. “Well, thank you. Where is this...P—?”
“P-Three! It’s just down the main road from the station. One of the biggest establishments here in Las Pegasus, I’m mighty proud to say. You can’t miss it! Just look for the pink.” He waved a hoof and smiled widely at them. “Enjoy your stay in Las Pegasus!” Without another word, he trotted off. His cheery greeting sounded a few moments later followed by a surprised yelp from the stallion he accosted.
Ignoring the poor greeting skills of the strange pony, Twilight looked at the bright pink greeting card and then over to Rainbow. “Well, this is odd. But it does sound like Pinkie to want to meet every new pony who comes to the city. Should we go see this Madame? Do you think it could be our Pinkie Pie?”
“It certainly sounds like her. Let’s go, Twi.” Rainbow nuzzled Twilight lightly and trotted forward, chuckling to herself. “A party for the whole city. That’s so Pinkie Pie.”
* * *
Pinkie Pie, alias Madame Pinkie, stood in front of a full body mirror and adjusted her mane. She worked the chemicals into her hair until it filled out with her trademark fluffy look. She smiled, or at least tried to smile—but the chemicals smelled bad and today was Monday. Somehow, she’d grown to dislike Mondays a just tiny bit more than other days. She’d never tell Monday of course, since Monday had it rough already. Still, Monday wasn’t quite as fun because all her patrons were extra grumpy on Mondays. It just meant she had to work harder to make Mondays better.
She turned to the side and opened up the large chest she kept close at hoof. Surveying the contents, she selected a blue one. Just a little, she thought. A little something to keep the smiles going. She uncapped the tube and squirted the cake frosting into her mouth. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sugar: the familiar tingling of energy starting at the tip of her hooves which traveled up her body until it filled her head with a cheerful giddiness. Monday wouldn’t know what hit it!
A knock came at her door.
“Pinkie, darling, are you ready? I have an amazing outfit for you tonight! You’ll absolutely shine.”
Pinkie shoved the tube back into the chest and closed the lid. “Yep! Come on in, Rarity!”
The door opened with a creak and Rarity trotted in levitating a beautiful pink outfit covered in sequins. “Look at this, Pinkie! I finally found a way to work in more light into your outfit. Isn’t it glamourous?” Rarity’s eyes sparkled almost as much as the outfit itself.
Pinkie smiled, one with not much teeth and maybe stretched too thin, but it didn’t seem to bother Rarity. “It’s super duper Rarity. I’m sure everypony will love it.” She stretched out her hooves and plucked the full-body dress out of the air. She slipped her back hooves into it and noted it was a little more comfortable than the previous design from Rarity. She smiled just a little brighter. Rarity was kind in her own way. The dress was a little looser than the previous one. Pinkie didn’t want to be a thin starved mare of the fashion magazines, and Rarity understood that.
Rarity’s eyes glistened with joy as she beheld Pinkie in her latest creation. It was, in a word, perfect. The rolling fluffy mane contrasted perfectly with the more rigid fabric, but it didn’t crease irregularly when Pinkie moved. The party pony bounced up and down a few times to test the flexibility, and her grin of satisfaction was all Rarity needed.
“Thanks, Rarity! I better get to my show now! See you in an hour!” Pinkie waved a forehoof and bounded out of her room.
Rarity quietly closed the door behind Pinkie and walked over to the chest located to the right of the mirror. She opened it up and looked over the tubes of cake frosting placed haphazardly in the container. She noted the blue one was a little emptier than the day before. She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly, a deep sigh escaping her lips. “Pinkie... how much longer can you keep trying to make them smile?”
* * *
Twilight and Rainbow walked together, their bodies almost touching. The familiar presence of one another provided solace against the unfamiliar buildings and ponies around them. Under the covered walkways, walled in on all sides, the air felt constricted and stifling. The occasional skylight did little more than remind them Las Pegasus was more than a city, it was a singular entity, interconnected and sealed from the outside world.
The walkway led them into a large central plaza located a few thousand paces from the train station. A thick bronze gate marked the threshold between tunnel and busy square. Although aesthetically pleasing, Twilight suspected a more sinister nature to the gate. Should there be a fire in either of the adjacent sections, the gate would drop. This would isolate both the fire and the helpless ponies trapped within the fire-infested area. It would preserve the city at the cost of the occupants. A darker thought flitted through her head: Ponies could be reborn, but the magnificence of the city must be preserved.
She shuddered at the thought and looked out into the bustling square filled with ponies and wheeled transport. Along the edges of the commons were dozens of stalls set up selling all manner of curiosities and novelty foods. Across the plaza, a pink-lit building awaited them. The name of the building glowed eerily with a combination of fire and magic set behind red-dyed glass: Pinkie’s Party Palace. P-Three.
Taking great care to avoid unfortunate collisions with speeding vehicles, she weaved her way through the busy square, Rainbow trotting along at her side. Her approach to the brightly lit building did little to ease her worries—it was quiet, too quiet. She looked to Rainbow for support but found her companion with a similar look of befuddlement. “Rainbow, what sort of parties do you think they have in Las Pegasus?” She eyed the two sizable stallions dressed in sharp black suits at the front entrance and swallowed a lump in her throat. “Because this doesn’t feel anything like a Sugarcube Corner party.”
“No music, no balloons, no party lights. This doesn’t feel like Pinkie at all. But we have to go in there, Twi, and see for ourselves. Who knows what this city has done to Pinkie?”
Twilight nodded with restored confidence and strode up to the entrance of the building. She paused momentarily and looked behind her. Rainbow was there, smiling. She smiled back and suddenly things felt so much better. When the stallions made no attempt to stop her, she pressed open the door with a hoof and slipped inside.
“Welcome to Pinkie’s Party Palace!” Another cheery voice greeted Twilight as soon as she made it past the two sets of doors. The pony behind the concierge table sported a huge smile and a single black bowtie on a white collar. “What can we provide you with? Your pleasure and play is our purpose!”
“Um...hello.” Twilight stepped forward and dropped the card she received earlier. “Is this P-Three?”
“That’s right! We’re so happy you’ve decided to join us this evening. Here are your complimentary pink party hoofbands.” The bowtied pony slid two pink hoofbands across the table to Twilight. “No need to return them, they’re yours to keep! Madame Pinkie says everypony is always invited to the party.”
Twilight examined the hoofbands, but made no move to pick them up. As far as she could tell, they were for dubious purposes.
“No need to be shy. Go ahead and put them on. They’re like tickets to an amusement park. You’re guaranteed a fun ride.” The pony at the desk maintained her practiced smile.
She swept her gaze across the room and noted a fair number of ponies wore hoofbands of varying colors. If there was an insidious intent behind the bands, it was beyond her. Rainbow must’ve noticed her indecision, because the pegasus sided up against her and wrapped a reassuring forehoof over her neck.
“Hey, if we put these on, you’ll let us see Pinkie Pie?” Rainbow asked with a wave of her free forehoof.
“Yes, Madame Pinkie’s show will be starting in a few minutes. Please go right on in.” The reception waved a forehoof toward the back of the room.
Twilight thanked her and slipped on the hoofband. She passed the other one to Rainbow. “Let’s go, Dashie. I sure hope Pinkie is doing all right,” she whispered quietly. She set off toward an entrance across the room marked with a glowing sign emblazoned with the words “Pink Party Pad.”
She pushed aside the plush pink curtains and trotted inside. Her jaw dropped as the enormity of the room struck her like a mallet. Rows of seats, filled to the brim with ponies, encircled the entirety of the room. A raised, circular stage dominated the attention of the room with a mix of lights, artificial smoke, and a sturdy pole leading to a hole in the ceiling.
Behind her, she heard a gasp. Apparently, Rainbow shared in her surprise at the magnitude of Pinkie’s Party Pad. She scanned the room for a pair of open seats. All the ones in the front and middle were taken. She nudged Rainbow and gestured to some open seats in the back. Rainbow nodded wordlessly, speechless over the excited din in the air.
She settled into her seat next to Rainbow and frowned. The fabric was scratchy from too many years of use, and the cushion provided little support. She wiggled herself around in the seat, looking for a comfortable way to sit. The unfamiliar texture combined with the nagging feeling that something was terribly wrong with this city only worsened the situation.
Without thinking about it, Twilight’s forehoof reached out to the armrest between the chairs and sought out Rainbow’s hoof for something familiar to ease her heart. She blinked in surprise when her hoof bumped into Rainbow’s sooner than expected. Turning her head, she met Rainbow’s eyes and blushed ever so slightly in the dim light of the room. Twilight’s frown grew into a smile of recognition. She leaned to the side and wrapped her left forehoof around Rainbow’s, feeling infinitely better than before.
With her hoof wrapped around Rainbow’s, she felt safe to close her eyes and think. The cozy warmth eased her worries. She hoped her presence was equally soothing for the pegasus at her side. She delved into her memories and searched for images of Pinkie and Rarity tucked deep within her mind. She sought out the happy memories, smiles, and even the parties. She yearned to have those days back. She wanted to laugh and have fun with her friends again.
Twilight was no stranger to being lost in her thoughts, and if Rainbow hadn’t jostled her from her daze, she might’ve dreamed until the show was over. She opened her eyes slowly and found the room almost completely dark. The cacophony of voices drifted away with the light. The stage slowly illuminated and music teased into the theater. Twilight could almost feel the rising anticipation all around her. A burst of light and smoke filled the room and the crowd cheered instantaneously.
Pinkie slid down the pole with unnatural energy and sprang onto her hooves with forehooves spread wide. “Good evening, everypony!” she shouted out into the audience, her eyes wide and a massive grin locked to her face. She wrapped one hoof around the pole and spun in a circle around on the stage, seemingly caught in the moment. Her persistent cheer was a welcome change to the weary souls of every single pony present.
Twilight found herself tapping the her hoof to the beat of the music, each successive beat louder than the next until the room boomed with sound. The ponies present rose to their hooves and cheered as additional performers joined the stage with Pinkie, each of them adorned with a cute pink bowtie and patented smiles. Together with Pinkie, they wiggled their hips and moved their bodies to the music.
Catcalls and whistles pierced through the cheering.
A slight blush started to fill Twilight’s face as she watched Pinkie and her show-mares waving their tails high in the air in perfect precision with the music. The tapping of her hooves waned to a stop from the shock of the provocative presentation. Unconsciously, she backed up, right into Rainbow’s extended wings.
She looked to her left and received a smirk from Rainbow. The wing wrapped around her warmly and pulled her close, and she didn’t have the will to resist. With Rainbow cheering loudly in her ear, she strained forth a smile at the noise and chaos. Her irritation melted away in usual Pinkie-Pie-induced fashion, and she found herself caught up in the festivities as well.
The plinking sound of coins on wood joined the mix of sounds reverbing through the theater. Twilight panned her vision across the room and found many of the patrons gleefully tossing their bits toward the stage. Occasionally, one would bounce off Pinkie’s backside and she would respond with a very noticeable giggle and an extra wiggle in the direction of the coin. The only thing that bothered Twilight was how Pinkie didn’t seem entirely happy anymore.
She looked around the room and found most of the ponies present smiling. Their faces contorted in odd smiles, some even with a little drool. When she looked back to Pinkie, it didn’t quite fit. Pinkie was always happiest when the ponies around her were smiling, and Twilight had never seen so many smiles in one place. But Pinkie’s own expression was strained at best.
After a long time, Pinkie stopped dancing and held up her forehooves. One last bit bounced off her nose which elicited another breathless giggle from Pinkie. Her chest heaved up and down in exertion from her earlier performance. Regaining her breath, she cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Welcome to the party, everypony! I know you’ve all had a tough day, so tonight, your pink hoofbands will count as red ones! Have fun!”
Before Pinkie finished shouting her announcement, a thunderous roar of approval filled the theater.
Twilight’s ears flinched in pain at the noise. Glancing over to Rainbow, she could see the pegasus was cheering loudly with the crowd, though she had no idea why. When the commotion finally died down, she prodded her hoof into Rainbow’s side. “Why were you cheering? Do you know what the red ones mean?”
“No clue. But if it involves Pinkie, it’s probably going to be fun. Plus, it’s free!” Rainbow responded with a touch of enthusiasm still remaining in her voice.
Twilight’s dumbfounded expression ushered forth peals of laughter from her pegasus companion. She crossed her hooves with a pout. “Laugh it up, Dashie. You can’t blame me for being at least a little bit worried.”
“Worried?” Rainbow snickered and pointed one of her hooves toward Pinkie still galavanting on the stage. “This is Pinkie we’re talking about here! Look at her! She’s still the same animated and energetic Pinkie Pie from Ponyville. I was worried she’d end up totally crazy compared to the little crazy she back in the day.”
“Rainbow! You shouldn’t call Pinkie crazy. She’s eccentric.” Twilight’s eyes drifted from Rainbow and followed the blue forehoof pointing to the party pony. “You’re right, though. She looks...” Twilight paused and narrowed her eyes. Pinkie’s smile was ever-present, but something still felt off. She stammered for the right words at this new observation. “Dashie, do you think Pinkie actually looks kind of sad?”
“What?” Rainbow’s laughter stopped and her head swiveled to the side. “I don’t get it, Twilight. Look at her laughing and dancing up there. How could you call that sad?”
“Well...” Twilight shifted on her hooves and looked back to Rainbow. Their eyes met and Rainbow’s gaze on her softened in their shared space. This triggered a chain reaction of thoughts in Twilight’s head and she smiled ever so slightly. “I guess it’s something about her eyes. You have a sort of sparkle in yours which I can’t see in Pinkie’s. It’s like she’s happy on the outside but sullen on the inside.”
Rainbow’s eyebrows furrowed at Twilight’s observation. She turned her head and looked to the stage once more. “She’s gone.”
A quick turn of Twilight’s head toward the stage confirmed it. “Where did she go? She was interacting with her patrons just a moment ago.” She ground her teeth together and stamped her hooves. The persistent noise finally boiled over and Twilight groaned loudly in frustration. “Arg, it’s so loud in here I can barely think!” She swiveled her head over to the nearest entrance and pushed her way through the crowd back into the mezzanine.
With the noise and confusion behind her, Twilight took a moment to recompose herself with a few deep breaths. A feathery touch drifted over her back. She looked behind herself and smiled weakly at Rainbow. “Sorry about that, Dashie.”
“It’s alright, Twi.” Rainbow smiled back and ruffled Twilight’s mane with a free forehoof. “Besides, Pinkie pulled a Pinkie and got away. Maybe we can talk to the concierge at the front desk and see if we can figure out where she went.”
Twilight giggled and pushed Rainbow’s hoof away. “I was just about to suggest that myself! Come on, Rainbow, let’s get to the bottom of this.”
I'm always happy to see this story update. Thanks for writing
awesome work keep up the good work
So cake frosting is like cocaine?... It all makes sense now!
Well, Looks like THIS video is in Order:
and If I remember Correctly, I said that either Pinkie would be in Massive Debt OR have a Vast Fortune to Fund a Party Business. looks like Theory B was CORRECT! but it looks like the strain of Trying to cheer up an entire city that was pretty much DESIGNED to make Ponies Unhappy is starting to show on Pinkie.
Wow.
Great chapter.
Great chapter CalmNQuiet! I been looking forward to this I'm glad it's here, and we finally get to see Pinkie and Rarity. It looks like this is going to be a very interesting visit. Can't wait for the later chapters!
Red is either for free alcohol drinks or for salt licks or for visiting a more "fun" show. If you catch my meaning.
Also looks like Pinkie became a cake frosting addict. Or still is given the amounts of cake frosting she ate in the show.
Well, you have me hooked. I will put this on my list of "one-day-reads." And seeing as the industrial revolution had a lot to due with my AP European history class, I think I will enjoy reading this. In case you need more examples for your story to make it as good as possible, I would read some documents over that era, mainly focusing on Manchester. Other good examples would be in Russia and Germany, especially in the quiet period between the World Wars.
Some other things would be in the Eastern Bloc during the height of the Cold War, although that is more leaning towards the terrible treatment of the workers and lack of pay than terrible working conditions and pollution of the atmosphere and environment around it. And there weren't as many defects and terrible health problems, as the world had learned from its mistakes after the atrocities of the Holocaust and the horrors of the British Industrial revolution. Although the true effect of the British Industrial Revolution was more towards the small, subsistence farmers than anything else. Seeing as they could no longer really get money to grow things, they were forced to move to the cities and bring rise to privatized land owning and big business farming.
Oh my, I have rambled. Anyways, very interesting time period in Europe and in the United States. Have a good day, and I will read this story when I get time.
Seems to me like Pinkie has become something bordering along the lines of a prostitute. I realize that Las Vegas has alot of risque shows without actual sex but judging from her demeanor and the reactions of the crowd to "red bands" it seems like something much darker is going on here.
Great chapter, can't wait for the next one and I think here
there should be sure between I'm and everypony.
2417138
Thank you for catching that. I've fixed it. This always happens. I make one change after my editor goes over it, and invariably, I will have screwed things up. Luckily, amazing readers such as yourself, let me know so I can correct my mistakes.
2417163 No problem and you're awesome too media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj7bxh41MM1qafrh6.png
As soon as you introduced Pinkie w/ the dress and sugar drugs, I was just like oooooohhh buck.... please don't be a stripper, please don't be stripper, please don't be a stripper.... Dammit... And it fits so well to the dark tone.......
The cover- art makes RD and Twilight look emo.
Great chapter, I imagine what the red hoofbands means,
oh man, is she running what i think she is?
I'm getting some seriously ominous thoughts about P-3...
Pinkie, what are you doing?
That frosting...there's a metaphor here, and I don't like it...
And the ominous feeling just keeps building as we enter P3. I have a sneaking suspicion that what's going on here ain't kosher.
I'm sensing Slight inspiration from PARTY.MOV. This Shall Be interesting.
*sudden realization*
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw3381_small.png That's Vegas, baby.
I have a feeling there's worse to come than paunchy Pinkie's penchant for potent pick-me-ups and provocative perpendicular plot-pirouetting performance poles.
...oh, Pinkie...
Red tags...
Damn...
*wants to hug her so bad*
wow red bands huh? poor old pinkie pie... i bet if she saw herself when she was still in ponyville she'd be like oh god..... and rarirty knew all about it too and stuck with her during all of this.... i wonder what issues rarity will have too? and i really hope pinkie isnt running... a "business" just to get people to give some fake smiles....
Best Pinkie Pie monologue ever...
Sounds like Pinkie Pie and Rarity aren't doing so good in Lag Pegasus. I'd assume they'd use their initiative early on and move to Appaloosa.
Well, this certainly makes things... nervous.
Wow. Awkward!
That was a great chapter and I think you caught her energy quite well I also think you did well with how the world effected her Of course Twi is the only one to notice besides Rarity but I guess she has work with Pinkie since they first moved out there. I look forward to the next chapter I hope it will be soon
2417163 what's your update schedule? And when do you plan on updating again?
Thank you all for reading! As promised in a previous comment, I'm gong to make an effort to respond to everyone's comments sooner. I'd also like to note, I'm about 1000 words into Chapter 12 and it's coming along steadily. No expected delays thus far.
2452585 I typically update every 3-weeks because I'm new to writing and I'm pretty slow. I've held this pace for months, so you can expect regular updates.
2451908 My editor was prodding me to get to the TwiDash already as well. But, I really wanted some more build-up for them.
2439354 Thank you! I was really concerned about Pinkie since she's an amazing character and I've put her in a very tough spot. However, with Rarity there I think she'll be okay. Rarity is a very strong character in the show and I intend for that to carry-through in my writing.
2425946 Horray! Thank you! That's quite a compliment considering Pinkie Pie loves to talk and is always just a little bit out there with the monologues.
2424013 Rarity has her own share of problems, though they are less physical but tangible nonetheless. I'll try to explore them in Chapter 12.
2422242 You and me both. She really needs a hug, a real one, one that reassures her and lets her know there's still goodness and happiness in the world. It's tough to be the optimistic one when surrounded by pessimism
2420781 Alliteration is Awesome. Hats off to you.
2420227 It's just ordinary frosting. Promise. But, she is using it for more than just decorating cakes and that is ominous.
2418484 ...Maybe? It's supposed to be fun. Everypony is supposed to leave happy.
2417081 Seal of Approval humbly accepted! Thank you so very much. I'll do my best to keep it up. I care a ton about what my readers think since I'm writing this both for myself and all my readers!
2416992 Pinkie is doing her very best to provide a reason to smile for the ponies of Las Pegasus. The world may be dark and gloomy, but I'm hoping the natural goodness of the characters will provide a beacon of light. Las Pegasus should be about more than just depravity and indulgence.
2416934 It's always great to hear this kind of insight from the reader. In terms of my agendas for the Industrial Revolution, I want to focus on the dismantling of the smaller enterprises in favor of the larger ones. And the gradual conversion of ponies to be more mechanically inclined in order to fit into this new society. Most importantly, it's about devaluing life as a trade-off for increasing the value of production.
2416827 I wouldn't call it an addiction. She just enjoys it, a lot. And she happens to need it quite often. But, wouldn't you? Sugar is delicious!
2416826 Rarity will get more exposure in the next chapter! And thank you! I've been looking forward to showcasing these two characters for a while now.
2416740 Excellent. I was hoping the foreshadowing would be picked up by my incredibly intelligent readers.
Whoa. That's... not good at all, Pinkie.
Great chapter, Calm. I'm looking forward to the next.
2458854
For sure.
I get the feeling Pinks is going to be tough to bring back.
IS PINKIE PIE RUNNING A PROSTITUTION SERVICE?!?!?
UNACCEPTABLE!!!
YOU WILL BURN IN PONY HELL FOR THIS!! (not really)
that is all.
2416740 a bit darker view: it could be she is working for some mobster
2476836 it does not have to be a prostitute service
i know most 'exotic dancers' aka strippers are, but not all (just most of them)
also red bands make me think about lap dances for some reason
I would like to point out that it is not that dark, sure there is attempted murder but the use of cake frosting instead of something else still shows that this is not meant to be as dark as we expect
also 3 other things
first the lack of DARK tag and that it is labeled as Teen and not Mature
secondly cannon pinkie is shown to be like sweets, a lot (sugar 'addict' may be pushing it)
and cake frosting does not have that much sugar actually (i think it is supposed to be compared to alcohol)
*PINKAMENA WARNING*
If the author said that she took sugar raw (cocain) or melted/cooked (idk what other drug cocaine again?) then it would be a lot darker.
I think this story is a lighter version of what should be a DARK and Mature story with a Sex tag, and maybe a Gore one also.
(corruption, abuse of power, alcohol abuse, racism, attempted murder, a little police brutality could be worked into the appleloosa arc)
(corruption, alcohol and drug abuse, sex, mugging, prostitution, murder, blackmail, domestic violence in the las pegasus arc)
(rape or at least attempted rape in las pegasus but that would probably change the direction of later chapters )
*PINKAMENA WARNING OVER*
Now don't get me wrong
I LOVE THIS STORY as it is and do not wish for the author to change anything.
I am just saying that if anyone (author included) would want's to rewrite it (with the author's permission of course) it could be done very easily, without changing the central story one bit (at least until the current chapter - 11)
Hmmmm. Something's eating at Pinkie... Maybe not being with her friends?
And her hair is straight most times now? That's never a good sign...
~Skeeter The Lurker
Despite all the darker possibilities mentioned in the comments, it still seems a bit more as though Pinkie has merely been externally reshaped by the city. Her natural inclination to keep as many ponies happy as much as possible has resonated with Las Pegasus, but the channels it's opened up for her to do so are less innocent ones. It looks as if she doesn't like the direction her entertainment has taken - it's not really her - but the fact that she is managing to provide that entertainment for so many ponies is what keeps her performing and in the city.
Please... don't tell me this is going where I think it is...
Only issue I could really find with this chapter is this little bit right here: “I guess it’s something about her eyes. You have a sort of sparkle in yours which I can’t see in Pinkie’s. It’s like she’s happy on the outside but sullen on the inside.”
No offense, but no matter how good her eyes are, Twilight would not be able to pick up on something so subtle from the distance that she and RD were apparently sitting at. I mean, if you'd just made a minor note of it in her subconscious or whatever, I wouldn't even bring it up. But that Twilight actually took the time to sit down and explain to RD that something seemed "off" about Pinkie is more than a little unrealistic. There wasn't even any real point to adding that bit, since they were already dead-set on seeing Pinkie, regardless of whether Twilight noticed some minute detail about Pinkie's smile that didn't look quite right at that performance.
I can't say I've found much of anything worthy of critique before this point, but that little scene just stood out to me as more than a little bit unnecessary.