The library door burst open, scattering the piles of notes that Twilight Sparkle had been gathering for Fluttershy across the floor and causing a massive thud as the pegasus smacked her head against the ceiling. “I demand an explanation!”
Twilight did everything she could to avoid glaring at the white unicorn standing in the doorway as she began gathering up sheets of loose-leaf. “Is there a particular reason you’re being melodramatic, Rarity?”
Rarity didn’t seem to find this insulting, if only because she didn’t seem to hear it at all. “Fluttershy, we had an appointment for the mud bath, coat shampoo, and hooficure package at the spa at eight-forty sharp! I worried myself half to death when you didn’t show up. I’ve never known you to miss an appointment without good reason, and it seems to me that you could have come to the library after we’d finished.”
“Oh, um, I’m sorry, Rarity,” the pegasus apologized. “Something’s come up, and I didn’t have time to tell you that I couldn’t make it.”
“Something came up? I do hope you’re able to go into a bit more detail.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath and told her friend about the sudden accident in Cloudsdale, the massive bank of fog headed toward Ponyville, and the early-morning visit from a DOW bureaucrat that had resulted in the entire mess being dropped at her hooves. Even though the explanation was rather abbreviated (since the technical jargon probably would have gone over Rarity’s head), the whole thing was starting to become rote.
The fashionista seemed impressed as Fluttershy finished explaining the situation. “My word... and they’ve delegated all that responsibility to you?”
“Well, yes. I mean, I suppose so...”
Rarity’s eyebrow flew upwards with concern. “You ‘suppose so’? I hardly think the situation warrants any sort of ambiguity. Were I in your position, I’d be anxious to prove my mettle.”
“Fluttershy isn’t you,” Twilight pointed out.
“Touché,” Rarity granted. “But still, there’s no reason for the poor dear to waffle on the matter. I’m sure the Department of Weather would not have chosen her if they didn’t have full confidence in her abilities.”
“Assuming they’re right,” Fluttershy mumbled to herself. Unfortunately, Rarity overheard her.
“What do you mean, dearie? Are you saying there’s been a mistake? Darling, if some nameless bureaucrat checked the wrong box when filling out a stack of paperwork, I’m sure it can be corrected.”
“Um, no, they didn’t make a mistake. I’m a qualified fog specialist. I have the certificate and everything.”
“Well, then what possible reason could there be for you to be so nervous?”
By now, Fluttershy’s meekness was starting to border on self-parody. “Well, it’s just... I don’t know if they’ll take me seriously....”
“But darling, why on earth wouldn’t they? You only need to be assertive when giving your orders, and I’m sure everypony will get to work with minimal fuss.” The second of silence that followed was rather awkward, suggesting that something very important had yet to be introduced to the conversation. Rarity’s eyes suddenly widened as a flash of inspiration hit her. “Fluttershy, dear, are you worried that you’ll end up behaving as you did during the Iron Will incident? Because I can assure you that you have clearly demonstrated that you have the self-control to be assertive without becoming a bully.”
“No... it... it isn’t that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Well, I’m not a full-time weatherpony. This was just supposed to be something I did on the side. I thought it would just mean that I’d be called in as a consultant every now and then. I never thought I’d be put in charge of anything important.”
“Stop right there,” Rarity said, mustering up her most emphatic tone of voice. “There’s no need for you to be so evasive when your true situation is so blindingly obvious.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened in panic. “It... it is?”
“Of course. Why else would you be lacking in confidence in your ability to complete a task when others have no reason to believe you are unqualified?”
The pegasus’ mind shifted from “panicked” to “frantic.” She’d been found out. She was done for. Her reputation was ruined, and the Lunar Guard would haul her off to prison—granted, it would probably be a minimum-security prison, but it was still prison! Who would take care of all the animals? Oh, why did she ever give in to temptation? Fluttershy took several deep breaths. She had to get a hold of herself; she might not be able to salvage her livelihood, but perhaps she could keep her friends, if she explained why she’d committed her misdeeds. “I’m... I’m sorry. You see, it’s not always easy keeping the shelter running....”
“Darling, now is not the time for apologies!”
“But if you’ll just listen—”
“Shush!” the white unicorn responded. “A matter as grave as this must be dealt with immediately. Fluttershy...”
“Y-yes?”
Rarity thrust a hoof into her friend’s face as she solemnly declared: “You should be wearing a cravat!”
August 31 ‒ 9:44 AM
Shepherd’s Pie’s lantern swayed back and forth as it dangled from his mouth. Given how dense the fog was, it didn’t do much to illuminate his surroundings, but that wasn’t the reason he’d brought it. Rather, Rhubarb had insisted that he bring it along so that his daughter wouldn’t become lost again as he led her back to the spruce tree where she’d originally landed her flying contraption.
Fortunately, that particular tree was something a of a local landmark. Most of the route was near the edges of the fog bank, where the cloud wasn’t as thick, and visibility was much better (then again, it was difficult to imagine how visibility could possibly be worse than the center of the fog). For her part, Pinkie Pie kept having to regulate her normally erratic pace to match her father’s in order to make sure she stayed near the lantern’s soft glow. Of course, this resulted in a gaping stretch of boring, and Pinkie couldn’t resist the temptation to fill it with a subject that had been on her mind since she’d bid her mother farewell.
“Um... I’m sorry for leaving the farm...”
Shepherd’s Pie stopped walking and set down his lantern. “Not this again,” he said, barely managing to suppress a groan. “Pinkamena, we’ve been over this. Your mother and I have never felt any resentment towards you for moving away. In fact, we’re quite proud of you.”
“But then why are you always talking about what Shoofly and Whoopie and Maud have done? Why not me?”
Shep chuckled softly at this, “We brag about you all the time, Pinkamena. After all, you’ve helped to save Equestria... how many times are you up to now?”
“Um, let me think.... Nightmare Moon was first, then Discord later on, and there was also the mess at the royal wedding a few weeks ago, so that makes three.”
“Well, in any case, you’re a national hero, and the Princesses consider you to be a personal friend of theirs. What parent wouldn’t be proud?”
“But I never hear you talk about that.”
“Well, of course you don’t. Why would we brag to you about the things you’ve done? You know far more about them than we do. Your sisters, on the other hand, are a different matter. You don’t spend as much time with them as you used to, so your mother and I try to fill you in on their accomplishments, since they’re of the sort that don’t end up in the newspapers.”
“You... you really mean it?”
“Absolutely. Maybe the next time you visit, you’ll be able to stay long enough for your mother to show off the scrapbook she’s made of all of your achievements. I daresay you’re the only guest we’ve ever had who hasn’t been browbeaten into listening to her entire two-hour presentation.”
Pinkie Pie giggled at the thought of her mother trying to describe her wacky antics while maintaining the stern, serious tone of voice that she preferred for, well, pretty much everything. “I think I’d like that.” The pink pony would have loved to continue the conversation, but at that moment, the massive spruce tree suddenly sprang out of the mist, as if it had been a timberwolf lying in wait for its prey. Pinkie’s gyrocopter was leaning against the trunk, right where she left it. As wonderful as it was to reconnect with her family, Fluttershy was waiting for her back in Ponyville. She hugged her father one last time and dragged her flying machine out from under the tree’s branches. “I promise you’ll be able to spend more time with me the next time I visit. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
Shep smiled as broadly as he could at his daughter, almost managing to show some of his teeth in the process. “Goodbye, Pinkie.” He watched her lift off of the ground, and continued to stare upwards long after his daughter had faded into the mists.
August 31 ‒ 10:00 AM
In retrospect, Pencil Pusher really shouldn’t have been surprised at how fancy the office looked. The floors, walls and ceiling all looked like they were made of polished white marble. The bureaucrat could even hear hoofbeats as his feet struck the surface, though in his sleep-deprived state, that could have been his imagination playing tricks on him. If he were anywhere else in Cloudsdale, a room like this would have seemed tremendously ostentatious, but this particular executive worked for the largest construction supply company in the Equestrian sky. Why wouldn’t the office be made from high-end materials?
As the secretary closed the door behind him, the bureaucrat glanced at the nameplate on the desk: Jasmine Breeze. It sounded like the name of a scented candle. Unfortunately, Ms. Breeze was apparently being somewhat delayed, and there weren’t any pictures that would give him any idea of what she looked like.
Still, it didn’t take very long before the door opened again, signaling the entrance of a cream-colored pegasus stallion with a chartreuse mane and wearing a pinstriped suit and a haggard expression on his face. “Sorry about the delay, Mr. Pusher,” the stallion said in a baritone voice. “As you can no doubt guess, there’s a lot of things that need to be resolved around here.”
“Uh, no problem,” Pencil Pusher replied, somewhat disingenuously. “Will, um, Jasmine Breeze be arriving, as well?”
“I am Jasmine Breeze.”
“You are?! Um, I mean, of course you are. It’s not like you’d just walk into somepony else’s office, right? That’d be, you know, insensitive.”
“It’s also a bit insensitive to assume that somepony is a mare just because they have a flower in their name.” The executive’s tone of voice made it clear that Pencil Pusher wasn’t the first pony to make this particular mistake.
“Oh, um, yeah. Sorry.”
“Might I suggest we dispense with the usual small talk? After all, I think we’re both rather busy at the moment.”
“Uh, right.” Pencil Pusher took a deep breath before starting to talk. “It’s about your formula.”
“Mr. Pusher, we’ve already given the Department of Weather all the information legally required of us.”
“Yeah, but what’s to stop you from going the extra kilotrot and telling us a bit more?”
“A potentially devastating reduction in our already precarious profit margins, for one thing.”
“Are you serious? It’s all about money to you ponies?” Pencil Pusher’s attempt to invest his voice with moral authority was somewhat undermined by the fact that it briefly cracked into a falsetto halfway into his second rhetorical question.
“I assure you that it isn’t. There’s more going on here than I can adequately explain.”
“Well, maybe you should try explaining it anyway, because that’s how it looks to me. Listen, in the past twenty-four hours, I’ve only gotten two hours of sleep—”
Jasmine Breeze, however, didn’t seem interested in letting the bureaucrat finish making his point. “With all due respect, Mr. Pusher, you are not the only pony who is suffering from sleep deprivation this morning, so I’d avoid trying to use emotional appeals to make it seem like you’re the only one who’s been working their flank off since this debacle started.”
Pencil Pusher sighed. “Okay, fine. But I still don’t see why you’re not willing to be more helpful. I’ve met the fog specialist who’s been assigned to handle this, and from what I can tell, she’s going to want as much information as you can give her. I mean, don’t you realize that everypony’s going to assume that Caligo must be an evil, greedy corporation?”
Jasmine Breeze responded with a sigh of his own. “Why do you think we made you wait for two hours while we were talking to our public relations consultants?”
“You... you’re really willing to take a PR hit just to make some money?”
“If you want to be cynical, you could put it that way. From our point of view, however, helping your specialist would mean taking a risk that could completely destroy this company.”
“I’m not sure I understand....”
Jasmine Breeze ran a hoof through his mane. “Okay... let me try to explain this. The first thing you have to understand is that the market for cloud-based construction in Las Pegasus is extremely lucrative right now. Any company that manages to dominate that particular market share will likely be rewarded with years of financial security. You with me so far?”
“I think so.”
“Good. Now, the second thing you need to keep in mind is that it’s very difficult to make clouds that can last a long time in hot, arid regions. As a result, most of the cloud structures in Las Pegasus need to be renovated every few years to keep them from disintegrating. This gets very expensive in the long term. Thus, if somepony developed clouds that could last for a very long time in those conditions with relatively little maintenance, those clouds would very quickly become the primary building materials in Las Pegasus, even if the initial cost was higher than the cost of standard clouds.”
“And that’s what you’ve developed?”
“Precisely. However, it wasn’t easy, because it requires a lot of precision pegasus magic to make clouds behave in such an abnormal fashion. We’ve sunk an extraordinary amount of bits into our research and development, just to find a way to make the entire process economically feasible. If, however, one of our competitors found out what we’ve actually done to these clouds...”
“...you’d be in trouble,” Pencil Pusher finished. “I guess that sort of makes sense, but... couldn’t you get insurance or something for that?”
“As a matter of fact, we did take out an insurance policy against industrial espionage, which would allow us to recoup most of the research and development costs. We’d still lose our competitive edge, but we wouldn’t be so far in the red that the whole company would be at risk.”
“So what’s the problem, then?”
“We’ve run into an unexpected snag. You see, representatives from our insurance company claim that to share any information about the formula with anyone outside the company beyond what is legally required would be the same thing, for their purposes, as releasing it to the public. Thus, it would no longer be covered by our industrial espionage policy.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”
“I wish I was. I assure you that our legal department is doing everything they can to argue otherwise, as we’re fairly certain that the media will place the blame squarely on Caligo’s hooves, but until then...”
The executive continued explaining himself, but Pencil Pusher wasn’t really listening anymore. He had more than enough experience with arcane bureaucratic procedures to know a lost cause when he saw one. Maybe you should just let the whole thing go, he thought to himself. After all, it’s not like there’s anypony between here and Ponyville that you actually know. The more visually-oriented section of his brain responded by producing the image of a yellow pegasus with a long pink mane. Nice try, but a fifteen-minute conversation does not count as “getting to know somepony.” Listen, you’ve done everything that’s been asked of you. Nopony’s going to be mad if you just took the rest of the day off and got some sleep. All you need to do is fly back to work, and then get out of there before Greg unloads more crap on you.
Pencil Pusher couldn’t really argue with this logic. However, the other participant in this internal debate had arguments that didn’t rely on any logic whatsoever. The yellow mare reappeared, but instead of the disheveled, dragged-out-of-bed look she’d had when he’d met her, his mind now presented him with a glamour shot from her former career as a supermodel. This was followed up with images of her living room, which didn’t show any evidence that she had a special somepony, and images of his lonely, sparsely furnished apartment. It didn’t take long for Pencil Pusher to make his decision.
Ugh... fine. Have it your way. We’ll be a good little overachiever and try to impress her. But if it turns out that she does have a special somepony, I’m going to keep reminding you of this humiliation for the rest of your life. This seemed like a fair enough trade-off, but on the other hoof, he didn’t really have any idea how he could help her out.
Oh, that? It’s fairly simple, actually.
“What if she signed a nondisclosure agreement?”
Jasmine Breeze stopped talking and looked at his guest. “Excuse me?”
“A nondisclosure agreement,” Pencil Pusher repeated. “What if the fog specialist was willing to agree in writing that she wouldn’t share anything you told her with anypony else? Wouldn’t that satisfy the insurance company?”
“Hmm... it just might. Hold on, I’m going to send out a memo to legal.” As the executive started scribbling on a nearby notepad, Pencil Pusher couldn’t help but smile. Now, all he had to do was make sure that Fluttershy actually knew who he was....
Noice! Beauraucratic shite, huh? The Company is over a barrel themselves.
Oh Rarity, never change.
Hehe, now you've added an extra spin to our little pencil pusher! I like it! Makes me much more invested.
Is it me, or does Pencil Pusher actually seem pretty good at what his name (did we see his cuite-mark?) suggests?
fimfiction is big enough to get spam now? That doesn't surprise me.
Whoo! Update! Lovin' the story man.
Pinkie! Get to the flutterbase!
Nothing like dealing with an insurance company to completely curbstomp your day.
Pencil Pusher, I take my hat off to you.
Non Disclosure Agreements -- God's gift to bureaucracy.
The plot thickens like the fog.
Potentially life-endangering 'improvements' to fog and a smitten Pencil Pusher following Flutters around to help get the info to the mare most in need to know.
Poor guy will never get Fluttershy to date him...even if its just because she will be too shy
Oh my I just had a bad feeling. What if the new formula made a cloud that dry air made the cloud more dense, or a magic membrane went over the cloud when it got too hot and dry which would be really hard to break through. So Fluttershy's initial plan of drying the air would have the opposite effect
Hmm, unexpected chance at romance? For once, I approve. I've come to like Pencil Pusher.
I loved the Pie sisters' names. I became addicted to Whoopie pies a few summers ago. Sadly, I haven't been able to find any since then.
1820019
Hoo Rah!
1819785
Yeah, he seems pretty skilled at managing bureaucracy.
Just read, this is awesome, have a like, a fave, a watch, and a heart-exploding picture of Fluttershy.
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/131/5/f/a_wild__filly_fluttershy__appears__wallpaper_by_navkaze-d4zc0ep.jpg
I Support PencilShy! or should it be FlutterPusher? FlutterPencil? PusherShy? Do Ponies even have pencils?
as busy as fluttershy is, does she even remember who he is?
pencil is gonna work so hard to impress her, but he may not even be in her mind.
1819785 - His cutie mark is a thin red rectangle which he claims represents something other than a piece of red tape.
1820441, 1821109 - The main reason I'm using this as his motivation is because I figure that as a jaded, overworked bureaucrat, the chance of him feeling guilty about dumping all that responsibility at Fluttershy's hooves is rather slim. "Impressing a cute girl" seemed like a much more believable motivator, at least at this point in the story.
i like this chapter, keep it up
I am excite! Definitely on board for Flutterpusher, and I facehoofed and laughed for a good minute when I read Rarity's decision. Eagerly looking forward to more!
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Wait, did beurocracy just help save the day?
Great work, and I am also starting to really like Pencil Pusher. I am also hoping to see some shenanigans with him trying to impress her, although I think his best chance is going to be when he hurts himself overdoing something and gets her fussing over him.
1823061 - More like a bureaucrat saved the day from bureaucracy.
1823481 Meh, whatever works.
1821109
I believe they've shown pencils in the school.
I had a dream about this story last night.
Chapter 6 was the last thing I read before falling asleep.
Fluttershy had weather ponies in the ground saving Ponyville and Cloudsdale ponies were thwarting her efforts, trying to discredit her by creating downspouts of precipitation.
First pony dream and it wasn't weirded out like some dreams can get.
Anyway, to the story......
The conversation with Rarity in chapter 7..... is it a case of Fluttershy being "qualified" but not "competent" ? (which can happen by being out of practice or without practical experience)
That part with Rarity seemed to jump around, then land on Fluttershy - painting her as an academic cheat.
How she apologised and went on about doing it for the Shelter.....
If she received certification (even if only for tax benefits) then she is qualified. Delivering those credentials with competence and confidence is another matter. But I suppose I can understand how that distinction may be lost to Fluttershy in her panic.
Still, it had be questioning her for a bit. Is she actually qualified? Does she have the expected know-how? Or is she too inexperienced / out-of-practice and just overwhelmed to deliver?
Overall, the story is great!
As someone else mentioned, it opens up the world of Equestrian heavy industry. But not in the manner of those dark tagged, post industrialised Equestrian fics. Not that they are bad, but that would shift the focus in this Fluttershy-centric story.
Go Pencil! Take charge, dude!
Also, I really like how you've portrayed Shepherd. He seems like a pretty cool guy.
Ah, geeze, bureaucracy; the bane of civilization. Curse to those who would Get Things Done. Bureaucracy takes all the personal responsibility of individuals and shunts it to a nameless, faceless entity that cannot be battered, arrested, or shot; the usual things that keep sociopaths in line. Strip away all personal responsibility and add in the fact that you can't climb the ladder without crushing people beneath you, and you've got a recipe for mass abuse of individuals be the faceless masses.
So **** bureaucracy. It will be the death of us all.
Thanks for the update (Are you nowhere safe from bureaucracy?)
A little mistake I found:
"voice. As you can no doubt guess,": missing “ before "As"
Their trade secret?
The clouds are fortified with borax and (synthetic) glue.
1837948 - Is that a pop culture reference of some sort? It sounds like it should be...
1837966
Those are some of the ingredients in Caligo's other popular product, Gooey Advertised Kolloid (GAK for short).
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcThsURRA3SymoKJPL_BB8uDbJlxhohufcuwCRHk00TVVtwWutcuyA
1837995
GAK clouds? THE HORROR!
Hopefully Equestria has some kind of patent law. If so, then Caligo really should have patented their new cloud formula rather than making the whole thing a trade secret. That way, they'd get their twenty-ish years of monopoly on the formula, in exchange for everypony else being able to use it once the patent expires... oh, yeah, and not being a danger to the whole kingdom when they have their inevitable industrial accidents. No sympathy for Jasmine here - his company brought this on itself.
Much sympathy for Pencil Pusher, though. He's going above and beyond his duty, and as much as flirting with Fluttershy is one of his motivations, I don't think he'd do all that if he didn't actually feel a bit of a sense of responsibility. The stuff with Pinkie and her family is really adorable, too, as is Rarity deciding that Fluttershy needs a new outfit for addressing the weather team. In fact, she's probably right, it will help!
1853973 - I actually came up with a reason why magic can't be patented in Equestria, but I cut it because it made the chapter drag. To be very brief, protecting magical processes with patents would create the same problems that patenting computer programs creates in the real world (as opposed to the much weaker protection that would come from copyright laws); if I understand the issue correctly, they stifle as much innovation as they encourage (and quite possibly more), because you patent conceptual ideas, rather than the specific means one uses to achieve those ideas, which discourages others from even attempting to find alternate solutions.
Plus, patents eventually expire, after which they're freely available to the public. There's a reason Coca-Cola has never patented its formula.
Not only do I love this story, but my vocabulary is thoroughly broadened. I've learned to have dictionary.com open when I read this story.
I honestly have no clue of the chapter I read with the legal bastards so I'm going to just skip on over to the next chapter
This corporation needs agents. Agents solve everything.fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/349/5/d/syndicate_agent_by_johntb-d4j3ycw.png
Trust me, office boy, you aren't the only one after Fluttershy. Good luck, you're gonna need it.
Pencil Pusher seemed unnecessarily aggressive to me in this chapter (9:06 AM), but maybe that can be blamed on sleep deprivation.
Jasmine Breeze is a stallion? Freakin' brilliant.
Wow, Pencil Pusher is pretty scummy. "Ponies in danger? Eh, screw it, it's not like I care. Wait, if I play this right, I might be able to bang a model! Well, that changes things, but if I wind up doing a good deed and not getting sex I'll regret it forever!"
Fluttershy and tax evasion. Why is that so perfectly fitting?
I can actually see this working out for Pencil... I could scream see Fluttershy liking him. Am I alone here?
3605397 - First of all, I'm fairly certain that there's a significant difference between dating someone and having sex with them. Second, I'd say that at this point in the story, Pencil Pusher thinks he needs to demonstrate that he's worthy of Fluttershy's attention before asking her out, in order to stand out from the crowd of potential suitors that he's assuming she must be dealing with on a regular basis (you know, because she was a supermodel).
Fluttershy wearing a Cravat:
twentypercentcooler.net/data/sample/b6/b6/b6b6c8afa2a0e54427d03617b4a0ffc5.jpg?1366629430
So much hotter than Tavi with her bowtie.
_________________________
Which one's Maud?
____________________
I wish the best of luck to Pencil Pusher. He's looking pretty BA so far. While I was sad that Petriculture ended, I'm glad to see your other well known fic is just as awesome as that series was.
4709422 - Neither one is Maud. At the time I wrote this chapter, I was only aware of two of Pinkie's sisters, because season 4 hadn't aired yet. I'll probably revise this to include Maud later.
4709574
I thought Maud, was what fans called Inkey [the grey sister shown in Pinkie's party] before S4. But yeah that makes sense. I was thinking that Shoofly and Whoopie were Pinkie nicknames of her sisters rather than actual names, since I never heard of those Fanon names before.
4709702 - As I've explained elsewhere, Shoofly Pie, Whoopie Pie, Shepherd's Pie, and Rhubarb Pie are local specialties where I live in Lancaster County, PA, which is the middle of Amish Country (or it was until the tourists convinced a lot of them to move further west, but I digress). A few episodes before Maud's debut, we saw a picture of Pinkie's family that revealed that a third sister had been retconned into existence, and that sister turned out to be Maud.
4710317
I never saw that picture, nor heard of that. What episode was that in exactly? And well that is strange. Interesting, but strange. Thank you for bringing that up though. Although I was used to hearing Inky and Blinky for the sister's names from around canon. But Shoofly and Whoopie are unique names for a character ... but which one is which in your head canon?
4710597 - It's in the episode with Cheese Sandwich.