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What a lovely night for Lyra

While on her way back home from work Lyra finds spike. What starts as a charming stroll back to thier respectable places turns sour in just one instance.

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Comments ( 2 )

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Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #1 · May 6th, 2022 · 1 · ·

This is a fairly good dialogue piece. I feel like you've got a good grasp of characterization, although I think you still might need to work on the specifics of your dialogue. I also found certain things a bit confusing, such as why Spike would bring up the Pinkie thing or why the two would get stuck out in the woods, but for a story like this, I can overlook stuff like that. Keep working on your dialogue and try to avoid grammar/punctuation mistakes and I'd imagine you could get out some pretty good stories soon.

Bronycommander