I am a newbie pegasister who was referred to this site by a friend. (Does not know his username). I love writing stories, and have even recieved academic awards for my writings.
So, this strange pony has been sighted around Equestria, and at the same time, people are having problems creating and/or maintaining fires. Twilight and the gang are up for a big surprise, and they're gonna need some Aloe Vera after this...
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I'm sorry, but flaming princess like OC are never the answer.
That is all.
Well, at least its not black AND red.
It's not really good now, but I hope you'll improve.
(so no vote from me for now)
Also if I can suggest, can you use a word 'they' not so often in one paragraph, please?
ps. she looks like some kind of Deathwing
Instead of just critisizing, why not some concrit? You know being helpful is a good thing.
1330142
What's a Deathwing?
1360130
it's from WoW.
here, read this http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/64859
and this can also be useful http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/38998
or even better: ask Wanderer D for advice.
I am intrigued... I shall enjoy the chapters to come.
However... If it is not inappropriate I would like to give some advice and constructive criticism
Ehem... add a few more world too bulk out the sentences and make them more interesting... Describe the scene, were the main six covered in burns? Were part of the fur singed from the fire? Was the hospital spotless or run down?
Things like that go a long way