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  • 7w, 2d
    Unification of the New Lunar Republic

    Wow! A blog post not related to my story for a change. Well, I've been working on this little project for over a year (though it's been mostly on the back burner to my story, and I've been procrastinating). The idea was to mash up as many remixes of "For the New Lunar Republic" as possible. But it ended up being much more complicated than just playing them all at once. I really like the end result. It may be a but chaotic at times, but I did my best to seamlessly blend the creativity diversity of 16 different remixes all (except for two) from different composers. I've put a lot of hard work into this, so I hope you enjoy.

    0 comments · 41 views
  • 10w, 1d
    Poll results: and other news

    2 comments · 97 views
  • 10w, 4d
    Story rewrite poll: What should I do?

    Hello, loyal test subjects readers and followers. I write this post because I have something very important that I need to ask of you.

    So, as you may or may not know, I have been faced with a difficult dilemma regarding A Trusted Friend in Science and Ponies, the story I have poured my life into. In short, the story is seriously flawed, and I want to go back and fix it. You may have read the criticisms, and you may or mat not agree with them, but at the heart of it, I am disappointed that this story is not proving to be the brilliant sequel that is should be, but rather a convoluted plot where characters make the dumbest of mistakes. As I mentioned in the last post, I have a proofreader now, but major changes are required: in essence a rewrite. Some changes that I plan to make are pretty obvious: make a stronger connection to the original (which I have just careuly reread) by showing how the ponies' lives have been changed by GLaDOS's psychological torture, don't lazily rush through a several month time skip, don't have GLaDOS blunder her plans so carelessly, and don't make Celestia so spineless. The list goes on.

    However, there is one controversial aspect of me story that I am torn on, and that is where I need your help: The Half-Life elements, specifically the Combine. As evidenced by the story's cover art, I had planed their inclusion from the beginning. My reason for including them was that it was a quick and convenient way to for GLaDOS to have all the technology she needs to build her Enrichment Center. However, there is a major consequence of this decision: while it is true that Half-Life and Portal exist within the same universe, it really isn't fair to those who haven't played Half-Life to make this into a Half-Life crossover halfway through the second installment in a series, especially considering that the original story had nothing to do with Half-Life aside from a brief reference to Black Mesa. On the other hand, some of you really seem to be enjoying the Combine and the Half-Life elements (come on, GLaDOS + Beakless/ Lamarr is the most adorable thing ever.)

    The first rule of writing is to understand your audience. So that is why I am asking you, the reader, what I should do. I'll make this announcement in a chapter post as well since they attract more attention. No matter what, this story is in desperate need of some major revisions, but I don't know what I should do regarding the Combine, since that is bound to upset a very vocal part of my audience.

    I am devising an alternate plotline that does not involve the Combine, or anything from Half-Life whatsoever. In short, GLaDOS will have the Diamond Dogs dig a massive cavern, and she will essentially rebuild Aperture Science from scratch over a much longer time span. She will also receive help from the changelings as well, who will replace the function of the Combine in regards to taking over Equestria. Even if I keep the Combine in the story, admit it, GLaDOS teaming up with Chrysalis would be pretty cool.

    So, linked below is a poll that I would like for you to answer. Please put some thought and consideration into it and answer it honestly. This is going to help me decide how I should go about this. Please remember, I would rather spend another year and have a masterpiece than rush through with a mediocre fanfiction. So, please voice your opinion and vote in the poll.

    Click here to vote

    9 comments · 164 views
  • 12w, 5d
    Finally found a proofreader! Gonna do what I can to fix this.

    I'm gonna make this brief. You may have noticed the dislike count of A Trusted Friend in Science and Ponies spike by 7 votes since the posting of my last chapter, and probably for good reason. Anyway, you all know the criticisms and shortcomings of my story by now. But in all fairness, this is my first (and only) fic, and this has been a true learning experience for me. So, after many months of unsuccessful attempts at finding a good, committed proofreader, I finally found one. He is brutally honest, and exactly what I need if I want to fix this. Progress is slow, but he's very thorough in catching storytelling mistakes. He already found some issues that would later lead into major problems within only the first few chapters. So, the signs were there from the beginning that this wasn't gonna come out perfect. In short, this needs some serious work. But I want my story to be better than it currently is. I want this to be a worthy sequel, and I feel that I have failed in some regards. So, when my proofreader finishes combing through all 23 current chapters, I'm gonna make some serious revisions all throughout. I know I made a revision before, but this is on a much larger scale. Of course, this will take quite a good deal of time. I hope this process won't change things around so much that it would facilitate a complete reread, but it needs to be done. I'm taking a break from writing more chapters until then. I hope you all understand my dilemma. As much as I want to finish this and get it done, some things are better done right than fast.

    2 comments · 73 views
  • 15w, 13m
    Aperture Tag: The Paint Gun Testing Initiative

    16 comments · 151 views
  • ...
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Source

This story is a sequel to Better Living Through Science and Ponies

She's still alive.


THIS STORY IS CURRENTLY BEING REWRITTEN. PLEASE READ:

I've decided to rewrite this entire story. Considering that I began this project with almost no creative writing experience, I was bound to make some pretty bad mistakes. The story flow is not well organized, and there is an unhealthy amount of redundancy and poor pacing, as well as some pretty important things that I should have included. I intend to address these issues to the best of my ability, but it will be a long and arduous task. This story means a lot to me, so I want it to be more than the mere amateur mediocrity that it resembles. So, give it a read if you want, but keep in mind that it will change. I recommend that you put this on your read later list in the meantime.


After saving Equestria from GLaDOS’s evil, Chell is finally able to live the life she never had… until GLaDOS sets in motion her plan to rebuild Aperture Science. It's only a matter of time before the experiments begin again, and only Chell will be able to stop her.


Has a TV Tropes page (needs work)


The works that this fanfiction is based on are properties of Hasbro and Valve. I would like to thank Pen Stroke for writing the original story and Flyer for his assistance and advice.

Please note, this is an unofficial sequel. I have received permission from Pen Stroke, but it is not canon to the original. I hope you enjoy it, but keep in mind that this is a fan work (of a fan work), and Pen Stroke holds the rights to the original story.

First Published
11th Jun 2013
Last Modified
21st Jul 2014

How is Chell going to get out of this one? :trixieshiftright:

you have to submit all the chapter click the chapter on the bar there should be a submit and edit press the submit so others can read it

nice i dint think you war going to put up 5 chapters rite away.:rainbowderp: ill read in the morning .

I thought I'd release it bit by bit :pinkiecrazy:, but why make you wait?  Here you go. All five chapters that I've written. :pinkiehappy: Enjoy. Just take your time, because then you'll have to wait for Chapter 6. :derpytongue2:

>>2705657 LOL your right that's y i am reading it in the morning.:pinkiecrazy::heart::twilightsmile: its 12:01 AM hear.

Hell yes

No other words need to be spoken.

Great....Atlas and P-Body: RISE!!!

>>2705596

Is Chell going to get out of this one? :trollestia:

>>2706398

Very observant. Then again, she did say she'd bring them back. It's a well-known fact that GLaDOS isn't the type to lie. :applejackunsure: (This is the closest I could find to Applejack's poker face.)

>>2706476 has Pen Stroke himself recognized this as the official sequal?

>>2706617 I contacted him after posting the story, and I'm waiting for a response. Before I was active on FIMFiction, I wrote to his Gmail account a few months ago pitching my story, but never received a reply. I figure it got lost among all of the fan mail he gets. Either way, he'll probably be aware of it soon.  I'm really hoping this gets his approval. I've worked hard on this.

A sequel to one of my favorite fics on this site? Favorate, like and read later. Oh also...

Dang right in the feels man, right in the feels. :fluttercry:

And it seems as if though GLaDOS might possibly not be the same monster she was before. :trixieshiftleft:

Did I just catch a Back to the Future reference there?

Anyone wish to start the slow clap? :pinkiehappy:

"Once you’ve retrieved the purple pony and brought her back here, your services will be no longer required, and I will bake you a cake.”
Inb4 the Diamond Dogs learn the cake is a lie. Sorry couldn't resist. :eeyup:

That was a close shave with razor sharp blades. :pinkiegasp:

Also allow me to post the obvious:

"You see, you are my lemons,” she hissed. Using her telekinesis, she lifted a surgical knife, a drill, a syringe, and two identical disk-like devices that had a wire hanging from one end. Her haunting yellow eyes stared deep into their pitiful souls. “It's time to make lemonade ...”
Well it was nice knowing those Diamond Dogs. :trixieshiftleft:

The sounds were still muddled together. Chell gestured her head, telling Ditzy to try again. The crystal, however, still spoke, “Hey, what was that for?” Ditzy’s eyes lit up as she was stunned to hear the sound of her own thoughts.

I think you're missing a sentence just before "The crystal, however". Something along the lines of Chell covering Ditzy's mouth to stop her from speaking out loud.

>>2707156 Thank you.

Chell gestured her head, telling Ditzy to try again, but before she could speak, Chell placed a hoof over her mouth. The crystal, however, still spoke, “Hey, what was that for?” Ditzy’s eyes lit up as she was stunned to hear the sound of her own thoughts.

a neck that was bear and pure

I laughed at the image conjured by the thought of "a neck that was bear". (I think you mean "bare".) As amusing as it is though, you probably want to get an editor to work on this - there are a fair number of typos. Including for some reason ¬ instead of - in some places.

>>2707208 Well, I never saw "¬" before. I wrote this in Word and copied it over last night. I was going to have a friend look over it, but he's not the best with grammar, and I just couldn't wait to post my story. I did reread it, but it's hard to get all the grammar mistakes. "bear" is fixed, and I'll remove those weird "¬". If you would like to be my editor, I would greatly appreciate that.

At least Celestia doesn't have "bear hands" :rainbowlaugh:

>>2707234 that's right i cant spell wroth shit.:rainbowlaugh: but I'm steal going to read it.

Okay, just reached the end of chapter 5. Story-wise it's great, and going on my watch list, but with the quantity of minor typos, you really need an editor to comb through the entire thing. In this chapter, there were several instances where the start of speech was not properly indicated by speech marks, among other things.

Edit: Just seen >>2707234 - while I'd like to, I'm afraid I don't really have the time to do more than comment on things that bugged me. Sorry.

it sound's like  minecraft being thrown in a new world  with nothing to do but gather recourse.:pinkiecrazy: chapter 1

My reaction to the sequel of the first fimfic i read, also the best fimfic ever.

literally.

she dashed towards the wall and jumped threw it

to mask my loneness

I suggest morons not finish that

1. Through.

2. Loneliness.

3. I suggest you morons not finish that. (Not you you as in the author but the sentence:derpyderp1::derpytongue2:)

I AM GOING TO READ THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!

information that dated sometimes dated back centuries

by replacer her with Wheatley

“Funny, she would always call me fat for some reason, then she defended me when Wheatley made the same insults. Chell sighed.

at Chell’s cutie mark, and though it

1. This sentence is throwing me off somehow...

2. Replaced.

3. Missing your closing quotation mark.

4. Through.

3 more chapters to go... tomorrow. For now, sleep like what Chell is doing and to continue on.

Hey, everypony! I'd like to thank you all for your support! :twilightblush: I've been overwhelmed with so many likes and favorites, that I was unable to sleep last night. :pinkiecrazy: To be honest, I think much of its popularity can be attributed to it being a sequel to a legendary fic, but the entire reason that I'm writing a sequel to Better Living is because it really, really, really needed one. You just can't have the villain come back to life and vow to get right back to evil without a sequel! :raritydespair:

Better Living was one of the first fanfics I've read, and I really wanted to see the story arc continue. Since it didn't seem that the much-needed sequel was being written, I thought I could write it myself, and I am proud of what I've written.

That said, I'm GLaD that everypony is enjoying the story for what it is. I want this to be a worthy sequel to the original, and considering that the original was written by Pen Stroke, that is quite a feat. I appreciate all feedback and constructive criticism.

Also, if any of you would like to help with this story, I still need an editor. Thank you, everyone! :heart: Also thanks for the grammar corrections. I'm fixing them as they appear.

YES! someone  know that the adventure sphere went to space with wetly and the space core:twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

good thing you know your portal and portal2 history i thoat on one   cud see the adventure core get  sucked in to space. lolol:rainbowlaugh:

>>2707432

Everything I mention has a purpose to the story. :ajsmug:

The video is wrong about the fact sphere. He stays on Earth.

>>2707467 i know i played portal 2  and i cud see the adventure core get sucked in to space. bu I'm stell on the 1th chapter and it is great so far.

insta-fav!!!

You win my fav.

I haven't read this yet, and I don't you, but you win my fav. :yay:

... I might still decide to remove it later, but the point still stands that right now you have my fav. ^_^; :twilightblush:

Just listening to the Still Alive song for the entire time I've been reading the series-thing..

Who's the art by? :rainbowderp:

... This is awesome.  Nough said.  I mean srsly.  this is awesome... After all the crappy featured box fics... I get this sequel not by Penstroke I hoped it would awesome, it is awesome.  You have done a great job creating this sequel and I wish you the best of luck

chapter 2 is better thin i thot it wood be.:twilightsmile:

>>2707808

The image is a mash-up of various artworks that I put together in Photoshop. I created the title, which uses the same font as the Aperture Science logo. Likewise, chapter numbers use the same font as test chamber numbers, and chapter titles use the font of the "Laboratories" part of the logo.

The image of Chell is the same that was used for the original story, which can be found here. I modified her cutie-mark to be a portal and replaced the companion cube with Wheatly. I can't remember where I got the image of him.

I found Alicorn GLaDOS here, which is also the source of my Avatar, and my head(f)anon idea of what she looks like.

I chose not to disclose the source of the background yet. You'll see why in a few chapters.

>>2707822

Thank you. That means a lot to me. :twilightsmile:

YES YES YES YES!!!!! No romance but still YES!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

We are intrigued. We shall continue reading.

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

Another author attempting to ride the coattails of Pen Stroke...  At least it isn't another Nyx story, I suppose.  And, it seems you're succeeding so far.  Welp, good luck.

is the owner of the corrupted turret  the rat man that hide it Aperteure ?

>>2708144

Ratman died in Lab Rat, remember? That is a cool idea, but I'm trying to stick with the canon of the Portal universe (at least until the point where the duct-taped portal gun malfunctioned). :derpytongue2:

>>2708174 ya how did he get the tape? lol

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