I'm a bit confused why the sirens need Sunset to explain Human/Pony Twilight. Do they not know Sunset and Twilight were ponies? I would have thought the presence of the elements and Principal Celestia would be enough context to guess what she meant.
I'm a bit confused why the sirens need Sunset to explain Human/Pony Twilight. Do they not know Sunset and Twilight were ponies? I would have thought the presence of the elements and Principal Celestia would be enough context to guess what she meant.
My thought is that since they never met "Human Twilight" and don't know she's friends with the Rainbooms, it didn't really have any context for them until Sunset spilled it out. It could have also meant "Princess Twilight in her human form" or something, which would have been more relevant to their schemes.
The problem with a lot of hypnofics is that they try to achieve the end result too fast. This fic doggedly avoids that. The buildup is slow and sweet. Sunset is not quite there yet, and Adagio realizes this, meaning the antagonists are acting smart.
I do have just one really minor nit in part of the dialog:
Sunset chuckled and scratched the back of her head. “Dinner-slash-study meet with Human Twilight.”
She caught herself with a weak grin. “I mean, Twilight. A friend of mine.”
Since this is being said by the same person, this should be combined into one paragraph.
11193312 Really, the biggest one is the idea that the Sirens were forgotten about completely. I'm willing to stretch my suspension of disbelief this far, if for no other reason than the quality of the writing. Also there are hints that Sunset almost remembered them, so perhaps this will be played up in later chapters, depending on whether the author is going for a "good" or "bad" ending.
This is very nice story, NP, and I’d like to see where it goes next. However, I do pray that you don’t cut all of this off right at the end to give the Rainbooms their ‘good ending’, as I’ve seen numerous fics in the past play out that way, and it very much ruins them for me, no matter how good their start or even middle sections are.
11194063 It was definitely a "fuck it we gotta start the fuckin story" way to get me out of the gate without making them wear disguises with false names or whatever. But attributing that kind of hazy-memory power to magic creatures who specialize in hypnosis, manipulation, and misdirection felt to me like an okay excuse author's prerogative. >_>
This is very nice story, NP, and I’d like to see where it goes next. However, I do pray that you don’t cut all of this off right at the end to give the Rainbooms their ‘good ending’, as I’ve seen numerous fics in the past play out that way, and it very much ruins them for me, no matter how good their start or even middle sections are.
Weirdly, I know some siren hypno-smuts and can't think of any off the top of my head with a good end (it's been a while, admittedly). At any rate, the ending is already planned and I hope you enjoy it but please note the lack of a 'dark' tag.
11194063 Hmm well Sonata was able to fool Sunset do to a combination of glasses and a change in demeanor which could work. I think it also helps that as far as I recall in the movie Sunset never actually learned the Dazzlings names. Granted I feel this probably would've worked better if it took place before the events of Rainbow Rocks as that would remove the issue of Sunset knowing what the Dazzlings looked like. We see in Backstage Pass, Sunset pretty much immediately recognizes the Dazzlings at a glance, so unless said girls did a decent job disgusing themselves it is hard to believe she'd not recognize them.
An example of this is the story Songs and Seductions https://www.fimfiction.net/story/409568/songs-and-seductions. Here Adagio seduces Sunset before the events of Rainbow Rocks takes place, acting as a much more shy student while using her magic and her own allure to seduce and take control of Sunset.
Obviously another solution would be to wear wigs and disguises which in theory could work but I doubt the Dazzlings would be especially crazy about changing anything major about themselves most obviously their hair.
Still not a bad chapter overall and I'm sort of willing to suspend my disbelief, atleast with Sci-Twi being the next target that will be easier to believe since she never met the Dazzlings.
11194185 Just so you know they're all gonna be like that. :p From the prologue:
Not that she could have caught them. The sirens were always careful, always smart, letting their magic haze image and memory. Even the Harmony-protected humans could only recall them to appear bland and forgettable – a far cry from their true nature.
11194194 Eh, works for me I guess. I'm just hoping to see some more chapters soon. Sunset and Adagio didn't get to do too much in the first chapter, eager to see more .
The source link lands on a NSFW image. If I understand the site rules, that can get the story pulled, so you may want to switch to a non-linked attribution instead to avoid the hassle.
Whew. That was nice! I haven't read many Hypnofics, but I was lured in by the cover art to give it a go, and I wasn't disappointed. Can't wait to read more
The name poked something in Sunset’s mind, but the woman went on with a brief smirk. “Well, ‘Mistress’ Adagio Dazzle, but I will let you skip that for now. Owner and chief masseuse of Mistress Massage and Oils, hence the title.”
Are you seriously that bad at both names and faces? Are the others going to be this clueless?
Not that she could have caught them. The sirens were always careful, always smart, letting their magic haze image and memory. Even the Harmony-protected humans could only recall them to appear bland and forgettable – a far cry from their true nature.
My brain decided to read this like an induction, and I didn’t realize until my fingers were limp and stopped scrolling. This is fantastic so far; it’s right in the middle of realism and unrealism that hypnokink stories tend to fit in (with some exceptions). Very excited to read the rest!
As someone who does both massage and hypnosis, I'll say I like this so far. It's like a progressive muscle relaxation induction, with physical muscle relaxation and a little airborne drug affect as well.
“There are no worries in here, Sunset. Let it all go, just for a little while. Drop deeper into your feelings, for you feel so good.”
And this is a nice change from "relax" to "drop", in a way that would calm down the concerns. This plus the slow wait for the "repetition" to begin, and even backing off and going for more when it stalled.
So let me rephrase it: you will check out with Sonata, and make an appointment for next week.” Sunset nodded at once. Adagio was authoritative, professional – a woman to be obeyed.
I loved how you got "Mistress Adagio" to be heard and recognized while awake -- it's the name of the shop -- and then repeated when under, followed by the whole "following orders while under" bit.
The difference between "hypnotist" and "dom", and clearly this one being both, using both as different skill sets.
I like this so far. And, I really hope the lack of "Dark" means that the good girls win in the end.
Keep it going! This has my attention!
good start!
Dazzlings using hypnosis and brainwashing to seduce Sunset and the Humane 6, yes please. Eager to see more of this
That was hot, please keep up the good work.
Gotta say I'm especially interested to see how the Dazzlings go after Rarity.
Mind control and hypnosis focused smut, AND decent writing? Yes please!
I'm a bit confused why the sirens need Sunset to explain Human/Pony Twilight. Do they not know Sunset and Twilight were ponies? I would have thought the presence of the elements and Principal Celestia would be enough context to guess what she meant.
11192950
My thought is that since they never met "Human Twilight" and don't know she's friends with the Rainbooms, it didn't really have any context for them until Sunset spilled it out. It could have also meant "Princess Twilight in her human form" or something, which would have been more relevant to their schemes.
The problem with a lot of hypnofics is that they try to achieve the end result too fast. This fic doggedly avoids that. The buildup is slow and sweet. Sunset is not quite there yet, and Adagio realizes this, meaning the antagonists are acting smart.
I do have just one really minor nit in part of the dialog:
Since this is being said by the same person, this should be combined into one paragraph.
Really glad you're writing another hypno-fic.
Gotta say I love a good hypno fic. This should be goooood
Hmm. More than a few contrivances to get everything into place, but i can't argue with the results this far. Let's see where this goes from here.
Not gonna lie, I do kinda hope this has some kind of twist ending where the Dazzlings end up controlled before their scheme is fully complete.
Probably won't happen, but I figured I'd get it out there.
cant wait to see what later chapters are like
11193312
Really, the biggest one is the idea that the Sirens were forgotten about completely. I'm willing to stretch my suspension of disbelief this far, if for no other reason than the quality of the writing. Also there are hints that Sunset almost remembered them, so perhaps this will be played up in later chapters, depending on whether the author is going for a "good" or "bad" ending.
This is very nice story, NP, and I’d like to see where it goes next.
However, I do pray that you don’t cut all of this off right at the end to give the Rainbooms their ‘good ending’, as I’ve seen numerous fics in the past play out that way, and it very much ruins them for me, no matter how good their start or even middle sections are.
11194063
It was definitely a "fuck it we gotta start the fuckin story" way to get me out of the gate without making them wear disguises with false names or whatever. But attributing that kind of hazy-memory power to magic creatures who specialize in hypnosis, manipulation, and misdirection felt to me like an okay
excuseauthor's prerogative. >_>11194136
Weirdly, I know some siren hypno-smuts and can't think of any off the top of my head with a good end (it's been a while, admittedly). At any rate, the ending is already planned and I hope you enjoy it but please note the lack of a 'dark' tag.
11194063
Hmm well Sonata was able to fool Sunset do to a combination of glasses and a change in demeanor which could work. I think it also helps that as far as I recall in the movie Sunset never actually learned the Dazzlings names. Granted I feel this probably would've worked better if it took place before the events of Rainbow Rocks as that would remove the issue of Sunset knowing what the Dazzlings looked like. We see in Backstage Pass, Sunset pretty much immediately recognizes the Dazzlings at a glance, so unless said girls did a decent job disgusing themselves it is hard to believe she'd not recognize them.
An example of this is the story Songs and Seductions https://www.fimfiction.net/story/409568/songs-and-seductions. Here Adagio seduces Sunset before the events of Rainbow Rocks takes place, acting as a much more shy student while using her magic and her own allure to seduce and take control of Sunset.
Obviously another solution would be to wear wigs and disguises which in theory could work but I doubt the Dazzlings would be especially crazy about changing anything major about themselves most obviously their hair.
Still not a bad chapter overall and I'm sort of willing to suspend my disbelief, atleast with Sci-Twi being the next target that will be easier to believe since she never met the Dazzlings.
11194185
Just so you know they're all gonna be like that. :p From the prologue:
11194194
Eh, works for me I guess. I'm just hoping to see some more chapters soon. Sunset and Adagio didn't get to do too much in the first chapter, eager to see more .
Will we get a new chapter soon?
11194201
Yep! If I can swing it I'll be releasing weekly until the fin.
11194207
Sweet. Also if you ever need and editor or proofreader, let me know.
Hm.
The source link lands on a NSFW image. If I understand the site rules, that can get the story pulled, so you may want to switch to a non-linked attribution instead to avoid the hassle.
Whew. That was nice! I haven't read many Hypnofics, but I was lured in by the cover art to give it a go, and I wasn't disappointed. Can't wait to read more
11195771
You know, I thought I was in the clear because it went to a warning page first, but ya good idea let's not play with fire.
Are you seriously that bad at both names and faces? Are the others going to be this clueless?
11227857
From the Prologue:
Always nice to find good mind control stories
My brain decided to read this like an induction, and I didn’t realize until my fingers were limp and stopped scrolling. This is fantastic so far; it’s right in the middle of realism and unrealism that hypnokink stories tend to fit in (with some exceptions). Very excited to read the rest!
As someone who does both massage and hypnosis, I'll say I like this so far. It's like a progressive muscle relaxation induction, with physical muscle relaxation and a little airborne drug affect as well.
And this is a nice change from "relax" to "drop", in a way that would calm down the concerns. This plus the slow wait for the "repetition" to begin, and even backing off and going for more when it stalled.
I loved how you got "Mistress Adagio" to be heard and recognized while awake -- it's the name of the shop -- and then repeated when under, followed by the whole "following orders while under" bit.
The difference between "hypnotist" and "dom", and clearly this one being both, using both as different skill sets.
I like this so far. And, I really hope the lack of "Dark" means that the good girls win in the end.
11598258
I'm glad you enjoyed, and I hope you like what is to come as well.
I’m doing a reread, and this first chapter is still phenomenal and relaxes me just from reading it.
I also might need to steal “Sunslave” for any of my own writing along these lines. That’s adorable.
11728887
I hope it's as good the second time!