Just another teenage girl trying to cry over pony fanfiction. || Fluttershy STAN! || Currently writing: I See You.
Twilight Sparkle had seen it all. Tyrants, beasts, time traveling- but when her five friends go missing without a trace, she has no idea what to do. And as if the world was struck by a mass amnesia strike, nopony remembered them either.
But one more thing.
Twilight’s wings were missing, too.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It was okay. It felt like the premise was left somewhat unexplored, and I have to admit the ending was a bit too nothingburger-y for comfort, but I definitely see a lot to like in your prose and storytelling.
All in all, not bad for a 2 AM burst of inspiration. Best of luck going forward!
:)
hopefully you improve. And it might need more details before something that emotional.
11196853
Yeah, it probably would. It wasn’t the best but I tried, hopefully I’ll get better at it. I think if it was longer and I included more information it would have a better impact.
11196813
Yeah, it was pretty short. I’ll try to give the story more time to unfold, instead of rushing it.
I tried to give the ending a feel like Twilight was never really important in the first place but I think it contradicted my writing a little. Anyways, thank you a lot for the feedback! I appreciate it.
11197083
I mean, I was mostly bothered by the somewhat uncharacteristic way Celestia just shut down — particularly, the apathy with which she told her guards to throw Twilight out — but outside of that, this story's only real crime was being a mite too generic for comfort. If you ask me, that's nothing that can't be fixed in future writing.
:)
Is that supposed to be "seize"? or am I misunderstanding what you're saying and Celestia is telling the guards to stop Twilight?
11197203
Oops, that was supposed to be seize.
Sorry about that, I must’ve mixed the words up and then missed it while checking.
You know... this feels like the perfect prologue chapter for a fic about time travel, and how somepony, or someone messed with it, resulting in Twilight sorta being in the 'eye of the storm', remembering everything.
11197531
Ah, you’re right actually. I was going for more of the “it was all a dream” feel, while Twilight just assumed it was time travel or something, but thats a really neat idea.
this was sublime... please make a sequel!!!! I beg you!!!! please don't let it be just "a dream" and if it isn't and twilight is trapped in this reality don't let them lock her up, please, your writing style and the situation you raised are the perfect recipe for a Master piece! !! Please I'm begging you on my knees!
11202717
Do you have any ideas? Might just be the right thing to get me thinking. Feel free to mail me!
Oh my, first off, thank you for the compliment!
This was a simple test experiment, I didn’t really think anyone would enjoy it. But this makes me very motivated! It was supposed to have the dream ending, to have a pang of sadness. If it wasn’t a dream, I wouldn’t let them lock her up. Too cliche. But maybe, now that I’m seeing this, I might add a sequel.