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McPoodle


A cartoon dog in a cartoon world

T
Source

This story is a sequel to On Getting to the Bottom of this "Equestrian" Business


A magical accident causes the personalities of the future Mane Six at the moment of getting their cutie marks to be swapped with those of their human counterparts during the Freshman Fair. They have only three days to figure out what’s going on and find the right individuals to help them: Princess Celestia in Equestria and the newly-arrived Sunset Shimmer on Earth. In three days the mirror portal will close, and anyone not swapped back will be trapped in the wrong dimension and body for thirty moons.

Edited by Hope.

Note #1: This story is set in the same universe as my earlier novel On Getting to the Bottom of this “Equestrian” Business. I’m using the rules I established in that story for how the Equestria Girls setting works, but nothing from the plot, and since it’s twenty-five years later, you might as well start over with the characters anyway. That’s why I think you can read this story without having to read that earlier fan-novel first. Therefore, I’ll be including author notes as necessary to catch you up on those rules.

Note #2: I use “H” for “Human” or “P” for “Pony” before a character name to refer to the mind, not the body. So “P. Rarity” is the character that starts out in a pony body, suddenly finds herself in a human body, and struggles to get back into her pony body by the end of the story.

Note #3: For the human parts of this story, I refer to the “Freshman Fair”, an event that happened in the comics. All you have to know is that it was an event held during school hours at Canterlot High when Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity were freshmen. It existed in order for the various school clubs to advertise themselves and gain new members, and it was at this event that Applejack and company all met for the first time and decided to become best friends. (Oh, and Sunset Shimmer as president of the yearbook committee later interviewed each of them about the event, gathering the facts she would later use to tear their friendships apart.)

Chapters (41)
Comments ( 86 )

although she thought for a moment about a strange green unicorn she saw sometimes in the park who did nothing but sit or lay in uncomfortable positions.

Lyra is a timeless entity, and very good at yoga.

Whinnyfield raised a warning finger.
Sunset did not say ‘what’ again.

Wise of her. What ain't no country I ever heard of.

Eagerly looking forward to seeing what unfolds. The prequel would be one of my favorites among your stories even if I hadn't helped inspire it.

Ooh, very intriguing Trixie/Twilight backstory.

And waiting for her on the floor of the auditorium was Princess Celestia, the one and only figure Twilight noticed, so why did I bother describing those other four?

Because we recognize two of them? Or they’ll be relevant later. Still, I doubt this Gnosi and Meridiem did any nuclear-powered time travel with a griffon physicist.

Yeah, the Freshman Fair had a marked lack of purple book-apes. Either Twilight was in the crowd of a sporting event, or her pivotal moment happened elsewhere. With the inciting incident concluded, we’ll have to see how both girls react to their new circumstances.

And I have to wonder just how much of H-Twilight tearing out faulty components like a lioness downing a gazelle was a hallucination, and how much was her first alteration of reality…
(I also have to wonder how a girl named Twilight Sparkle in this setting could be shamed out of unicorns and princesses given the nature of Harmonism, but that may just be the cutthroat nature of high-tier academia.)

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Well, Twilight was never a student at Canterlot High, so no Freshman Fair for her--getting her purpose in life from winning a science fair feels right. (Star-related marks indicate theorists, as we all know.) Also, as someone who sees a lot of himself when he was younger in Human Twilight Sparkle, let me say that a lot of the "shaming" in question was imaginary--I was so bad at reading my fellow humans that I imagined all sorts of sinister motives to the critical glances I thought I saw in their eyes. And with my nil social skills, there was no way I was going to actually ask anybody what they thought.

Ooh, you brought up Harmonism. That's definitely coming up in a later chapter. What I will say is that it is not 100% the same as Markism.

Glad I read the notes, as I would have been confused and guessed the amber filly was Sunset forgetting: A. Sunset's on the other side of the mirror and B. Sunset's older than filly age (plus her mane isn't raspberry)

And waiting for her on the floor of the auditorium was Princess Celestia, the one and only figure Twilight noticed, so why did I bother describing those other four?

Just to confirm, the "I" is Sunset narrating, correct?

Human Twilight certainly has the edge in age, in being able to process things better.

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Well, Twilight was never a student at Canterlot High, so no Freshman Fair for her--getting her purpose in life from winning a science fair feels right.

Absolutely. But the fact that Dash was playing against the Shadowbolts indicates that Crystal Prep students were involved. (But, again, for Twilight to be there, she'd have to be involved in student athletics.)

Ooh, you brought up Harmonism. That's definitely coming up in a later chapter. What I will say is that it is not 100% the same as Markism.

Whoops. Crossed wires on my part. Pretend I said your thing and not mine. :twilightsheepish:

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No, "I" am McPoodle. Sunset's not narrating.

And yes, Human Twilight does have the edge on age. It's why I chose to have this FIM/EG crossover happen when it did in the timelines of the two worlds.

The notes for this chapter are rather short, so I'll be combining them with the notes for Chapter 3.

That is your problem, right there! You can’t focus on anything other than flying!

And your problem, sir, is that you don't recognize a student whose learning methods don't work within the regimented lines of the system, nor do you have any patience for such outliers.
(Granted, they may not be paying him enough to have that kind of patience...)

And I’m sorry, but can we stop for a moment to notice how well Rainbow Dash was holding it together in the presence of the legendary Spitfire?

That depends. Who are you, who isn't? :duck:

I do love the idea that Rainbow Dash had no idea what grass was until later in life.

(Assuming that exclamation point wasn’t going too far. Can we change it to “good riddance…?” Yes, much better.)

Ah. Based on the evidence so far, it seems the girls are narrating themselves.

To her immense surprise, Mr. Fluffy had a very good idea what was going on.

Oh! Well, that's potentially very helpful.

“Fluttershy dear, you’re scaring us,” Posey Shy said. “Did you get this out of one of your games?”

... Huh. Well that invites a wide variety of questions.

Well, this is definitely some positive progress... though Dash and Fluttershy attending Crystal Prep raises some questions in its own right. We'll have to see what other deviations from the expected lie in wait.

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Weell...technically, I'm narrating. But I'm kind of looking over each character's shoulder as I do. And their voice kind of leaks through.

Besides, it's fun!

Since this chapter was originally twice as long as the others, I split it into two parts.

“Sure thing, Doc,” Spitfire said tensely. She waited until the doctor and the griffon were busy outside packing the ambulance before advancing on the two pegasi. “Now listen here, you two,” she said menacingly. “You’re not fooling anypony, and the Princess is not going to let you get away with this. I wish I could go with you to see the look on your faces when you’re finally caught out, but I’ve got an audition planned for tomorrow. And don’t even think of trying to get out of going to Canterlot—the Princess has a spell to track you human freaks down!”

Hey! Who're calling freaks?

Due to a paucity of notes, I'll be combining the notes for Chapters 4, 5 & 6 into a single post on Wednesday.

Loved the prequel and can't wait for more of this too :rainbowwild:

Well, this is moving right along! I do love human Dash fulfilling the title immediately, to say nothing of her narrative way of thinking. She is basically in a fantasy novel, so it does make sense.

Meanwhile, both Rarities have some challenges ahead of them. They're far from home, in strange bodies. And the human doesn't even have anyone nearby to guide her back... unless she can follow the skid marks from her counterpart getting dragged to her destiny. Good luck to both; they may need it.

“At least Maud has some restraint.”

Well, that invites a variety of questions.

I see we’re operating along familiar lines with your Pinkies. This should definitely make for some interesting experiences for everyone around them. (And I’m just grateful that the Pinkamenas will be having any experiences at all in the future.)

The Rarities, meanwhile, have both proven quite fortunate. Though not-quite-Applejack raises questions in her own right. Still, I can see how the gang might all get together, or at least a good chunk of it. Let’s where this goes from here.

Definitely a lot of unanswered questions in H Rarity's situation.

Oh dear. P-Applejack has a rather critical misapprehension. And even if she realizes she isn't in some bizarre, simian afterlife, her parents are still alive. It'll take some doing to convince her to go back where she belongs.

As for H-AJ, good on her throughout this chapter. Kind, honorable, controlled, self-sufficient... Thoroughly admirable in every respect. She may run into trouble along the way home (and I'm not sure if her more immediate family will understand the circumstances,) but at least she has a goal and knows how to achieve it.

Looks like the Applejacks got a bit of a relative swap. Pony AJ gets to see her parents again, (in a way), and human AJ meets her aunt Orange.

Lets see how H-Applejack reacts when she realises where Markism came from.

so isn't Sunset Pony jesus for the Markism? And even though the human mane 6 are like 13/14, aren't they Markism themselves and would know the implication of meeting their goddess?

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The first point, whether true or not, is irrelevant for this particular story. As for the second, most Markists are only told that they have a Goddess, without being told any of her characteristics, so they don't know that Princess Celestia is it.

Comment posted by Earth95_Queenie deleted Mar 18th, 2022

We tried to x-ray her head, and the machine gave off a puff of blue smoke before completely dying.

Well, yeah. She released the magic smoke.

“I know!” Cadance exclaimed. “It’s extremely morbid to think about, but the idea of Twilight in a lab coat with an eyepatch...just seems right.”

The real reason the family enrolled her a Crystal Prep was to provide her with an institute full of fools who would laugh at her.

The rest of the family, all of them huge nerds, knew exactly what she was talking about.

Ah, familiarity. Though if it were my family, it'd be a Star Trek reference.

If there was some way to physically bring that into Equestria, she could have toppled the Equestrian monarchy with that alone.

An avatar of the human internet somehow invading Equestria... Well, there's a novel nightmare.

It seems to me that you’re focusing so much on your problems with her that maybe you’re not considering who you might be if she were no longer in your life.

Definitely something for Sunset to think about when she ends up on the wrong end of the portal. Every problem is an opportunity... but she'll probably have a lot more on her mind by that time.

Do you know if the reverse is possible?

Spoiled for those who haven't read the prequel:
Yes, but she only gets one request in her lifetime and she's already used it. That said, it's not clear how many times she's permitted to just contact her counterpart.

The Church of the Goddess was a long, tall building, painted in a bright red and gleaming white and decorated with gold leaf along the eaves.

I know I shouldn't imagine a gilded, gleaming Pokémon Center, but I'm kind of imagining a gilded, gleaming Pokémon Center.

And second, I’m a unicorn—I’ve already been forced into a group mind already. It’s practically the first thing any mad unicorn tries to do. Luckily I was four at the time, so there were no secrets of mine worth sharing with the world. As a matter of fact, I believe the mad unicorn in question...was named Gnosi Augur.

Well, that raises a whole bevy of questions, doesn't it?

They also did not find a Pinkie Pie. Rarity had been dreading that particular discovery.

I doubt it's anywhere near that point in her reproductive cycle.

That’s when I realized: your concentrated sunlight is the same color as unfiltered mana.

... You are making it very tempting to make a card game joke here.

You’re not capable of converting sunlight into magic, and this world is otherwise devoid of it. The magic you brought with you is all that you have.

I was afraid of that. This could have dire implications for some of the others. Especially Twilight.

Ah, our first glimpse of Abacus. I feel like I'm going to need a shower after a longer scene from her perspective. I can only imagine how it feels to write this instance of her.

So just to clarify from your intro note, non-Markists have the same skin tones (white/caucasian to black and everything in between) as well as hair colours (white blonde to jet black, and likewise everything in between) just like normal humans do?
Are Markists heavily concentrated in certain areas or cities that they would be noticed by most?

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Yes, to the first question. For the second, let me quote from a conversation between a Markist and an Outsider, from Equestrian Business:

“All right,” said Delver. “Why don’t you start by telling me everything you know about Markism?”

“Me?” asked Gus. “Not that much—religion generally doesn’t interest me. If it keeps you from going nuts when trying to comprehend the immensity and randomness of the universe, then good for you—as long as it doesn’t involve telling me what to do or think. So, Markism…pretty much an American religion, I think. I’ve travelled a lot, mostly to physics seminars, and the only place I remember seeing folks with rainbow-colored skin and hair (that wasn’t obviously dyed) was in the U.S. of A. As for American Markists, the distribution is pretty bunched up. There are a handful of states where the majority have brightly-colored skin, with a minority of pinks and darker shades. And there’s a bunch of other states that are mostly pink-to-brown with a scattering of greens and blues. Even states that brag about being 50/50 are really more like half 98% Markist towns interspersed with half 98% Christian towns."

Not included in this conversation is the fact that the religion originated in England and was taken from there to America and the other British colonies, but died out from most of the world outside America in 1865.

11186373
Makes sense I guess. I think I'll read the story before this one. maybe it might clear things up.
The premise of this story kinda hooked me and seemed ok as a standalone, plus the chapter notes help alot, but yeah...

11186396
Yeah, I'm trying not to force people to do that, especially if they don't care for the Equestria Girls setting that much. Equestrian Business has about 5% Friendship Is Magic content in it.

But if you're curious about my world, that's the place to go.

“Ooooh!” Thomas exclaimed. “Can I play with it?”

I came in expecting Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta a la Pulp Fiction. This... definitely made me reevaluate that assumption.

He entered in the hair colors of Meridiem Tempest, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. It took a few minutes, but eventually the drone found the car exiting a highway and heading for the Canterlot Zoo.

Most of those minutes were spent figuring out how to input every color in Rainbow Dash's hair.

Hmm. That zoo may be in for very interesting times in the near future.

Stormy with a Side of Pudding, and Inception

That's a heck of a double feature. Though now I wonder what pony Luna would think of the latter. Probably reams of criticism.

“I told you!” Spitfire exclaimed. “I told you that one day one of them would figure out how to come over here, but you never believed me.”

Ah. Yeah, it makes sense that the two Spitfires would have very different takeaways from that experience.

“I got most of it,” Rainbow said. She looked around her with a bit of trepidation. “Does it have to be this cramped?”

"There's no way 305 horses are gonna fit in here!"

:twilightoops: Well. That was a near disaster. Impressive as all heck, but this could have some nasty consequences down the road. We'll see how it goes going forward.

With this chapter, Trixie has been added to the character list--both of them.

I wonder if you'll ever address what H. Sunset is doing?
Although I suppose it's possible she hasn't even been born yet.

and had brought a dead frog back to life using two electrodes and a car battery in Second Period.

Why did they even have a car battery in the bio lab? Or did Sunset bring her own, thus raising further questions?
(Hmm. I suppose it could have been to demonstrate the electrochemical nature of nerves and muscles...)

She felt for a moment that she was in the presence of a Dark Power.

I mean, yes, but Dark Powers aren't necessarily Evil ones.

I do love how human Canterlot seems to be taking the "It takes a village to raise a child" approach with Trixie. Understandable given the circumstances, and it's lovely to see that sort of community spirit. A religion based on an idealized view of pony society will certainly foster that sort of thing.

Applejack definitely presents some issues for getting everyone back to their respective worlds. And Trixie may thrown a major wrench into Sunset's plans. Lots of dominoes in motion here. Looking forward to seeing where they lead.

I wonder if Trixie (and possibly Rarity) will catch on that Sunset is a pony in a human body, though under different circumstances to the Mane 6

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"H. Sunset"? Who's H. Sunset? In case you didn't notice, Sunset is one of three characters who never gets an initial before her name.

11188355
Yeah, I caught that. That obviously indicates that you don't intend to bring her into the story, if she's even alive at this point in time (or ever will be, since there's nothing saying that every pony must have a human counterpart, despite the opposite being true for all Markists).

That's what got me curious about her.

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despite the opposite being true for all Markists

Is it? Take a look at the character lists for each chapter again. The rules of this world(s) are more complicated than the characters realize.

11188539
I'm not talking about the perspectives in this story. I'm talking about in your universe as a whole.
Every Markist must have a corresponding pony, or else they could never get a name and a mark. But there could be ponies without a corresponding human, as you've never said otherwise.

Rarity would be probably glad her Sweetie isn't as snarky and manipulative. But would also at times wonder if having the human Sweetie is better than the pony CMC's shenanigans

I do love a good bit of sibling shenanigans. Delightful showing from Sweetie Belle… and less of one from Rarity, but at least she apologized.

Also some great stuff from Trixie, with a very nice showing from Luna in turn.

A thought: Markists are powered by the sun; more sunlight means being more in tune with their pony power. Does that apply to Luna too, or does she pull her power from something more Luna-themed, like sleep or the moon?

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Luna exists outside of the rules of Markism, being the counterpart of that religion's Satan. The Solarium certainly wouldn't be good for her. I would say that there is no source that would increase her power, but that instead she has vast reserves she doesn't yet know how to access. And even if she did know, she'd have to get past her inner demon to get it.

The Principal had the ability to contact the Princess in their dreams, and vice-versa. Normally, this privilege was allowed but once per lifetime of a mortal Celestia. But in this case the two Celestias got on especially well. Also, this was the first human Celestia to have Luna as a sister, and the Princess was always eager to talk to her.

Convenient! Turns out contacting Princess Celestia is not off the table.

I'm sure Princess Celestia will be relieved that Sunset is alive and well on Earth, but knows she can't fix it for the next 30 moons (not that there's anything to fix since Sunset is there voluntarily).

Ah. Yes, having a happy, healthy, and sane Luna on hand does wonders when dealing with Celestia. Most helpful.

Less helpful is Applejack’s recalcitrance. They may end up having to drag that filly out of this universe kicking and screaming.

And, of course, there’s Cinch doing Cinch things. In this case, grasping for supernatural power with no understanding of or appreciation for the forces she’s meddling with. This could go very poorly indeed before it’s set to rights…

And that’s just the ponies. We’ve heard little from the humans and their second day. I hope they’re having half as much luck as their counterparts.

Oh my. Rarity may not be able to light up her horn, but she still has an impressive special talent at her disposal. Now there's just the question of how she can get out of Nowhere without having to reenact all of Rango. Assuming that's possible.

Now that we're on the Equestrian side of things, I imagine we'll finally see what's up with human Twilight in pony Twilight's body, especially considering she was the closest in proximity to Princess Celestia.

And here is the answer how Fluttershy (and Rainbow) may have gotten their wings in the epilogue of the prequel.

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