I don't review good stories. I usually stick with the bad ones and rail on the authors in an effort to help them understand the folly of their ways by slamming a proverbial baseball bat on their heads.

That said, this is a good story.

Oh my god... a Candide crossover... I have to read this... *puts on read later list*

Why is it that the good stories, more often than not, are the ones with the strangest premise?

"Open forelegs" sounds obscene.  Just thought I'd warn ya.  

I'm no expert on the grammatical side of things, so I really can't give you feedback on that front. However, as a layman, I like the style you write in. Feels very fresh for some reason. The setting is also interresting in its own way. I'll be definitely following this story and hope it continues.

Off topic: The properties of that pen intrigue me.  

MY WORDS! This is... this is fantastic! Is that Voltaire before he wrote Candide? Is a pony going to be his inspiration?

I'll be following because I know it's gonna be a hoot.

Goodness, but this is looking fascinating.  I never thought I'd read a Human in Equestria story.  I have quite stubbornly avoided them up until now.  But Voltaire?  Remarkable idea.  I just had to try, and I was duly rewarded.

Ok, now i am really intrigued as to what will happen next, there just isn't enough human in Equestria fics that only center around Celestia and said human, and i do so hope this will be one of those.

With all the messy attempts of throwing humans threw portals into Equestria in the name of science it's still rare that any of them actually work out. I finally have a HiE to put above that Rorschach one in my list of favorites. Here's something actually worthy of that sort of position. This is just fantastic so far.

I'm very pleased with what I've read so far. Do go on.

That last line is hilarious hopefully this ends well for the little donkey

Eveningstar...could that be the author's ancestor?

but he already was an ass

“Ivan’s turned the philosopher into an ass!”

Don't know if author is stark raving bonkers, or bonafide genius.

Upvoted and tracking.

There is a fine line between a genius and a madman.

Keep this up!

Hillarious! Can't wait to see how the relationship between Celestia and Voltaire will turn out.

>>956948956948

Both?

>>960367960367

We'll soon find out. The difference between genius and madness is success, after all.

This is awesome. That is all.

I agree with Clamps, it's awsome, that's all that need to be said.

celestia: givin commands LIKE A BOSS

I am French, a great amateur of Voltaire's work, and I must say this is charmingly well-written.

Keep up the good work, l'artiste.

she mostly keeps the guards around because they're all good looking stallions

Hahaha this is great! We need MOAR!

My love for this story just grows and grows!

Though I'm always hesitant to place Celestia on any power level beyond "more powerful than all three races and either long lived to immortal". God-like powers beyond what a large number of Twilight level unicorns are capable of always seems foolish and well beyond canon. The changeling queen could beat her and without the elements she can't begin to battle a true god-being like discord with real power of reality itself. It may suite your purpose to make her a true goddess of her world given where I think this is going, but unless necessary I'm always just a little bothered by stories that write her that way. There are some who portray her as an all-powerful being who could destroy and recreate the world on a whim, which is a little more than the least of what discord is shown capable of.

My own personal canon has her as simply long-lived or the pony equivalent of Tolkien's elves with the power of many unicorns combined (based only on the knowledge that it took multiple unicorns of an unspecified number to raise the sun and moon pre-alicorn rule). Even when viewed as a goddess she doesn't need to be God with a capital "G". Neither Zeus or Cronus, Thor or Odin had that sort of power. Some people just can't see the distinction it seems. Then they cry foul when their head-canon is ruined by Season 2.

You're still far from portraying her in that way so I'm just rambling by this point. Its been some time since I last read anything by or about Voltaire and now you're making me want to know his work better with how you've portrayed his character and assuming you have him down well.

So much studying to do now!

So much...

>>971022971022

The last bit in Chapter 6 is more psychological than physical. The point is that everypony is treating Celestia like a true goddess, and she can't find a way to convince them to think otherwise. As for Voltaire, he has a sort of love-hate relationship with royalty as a concept.

>>970366970366

OK, now I'm nervous. I don't know a word of French, and I bet you know Voltaire a lot better than I do.

(Everybody else)

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the comments!

>>973415973415

Don't worry. I honestly don't mind if Voltaire is in-character or not for the rest of the story - being send in a land of talking ponies can change anyone :p

Plus, you've pretty much nailed him so far.

Ah, a royal alicorn and a human writer in a duel of wits, i can't wait to see more of that.

"Eveningstar watched with amusement as the Princess explained to Voltaire what a cutie mark was, and how it was acquired. At one point the human muttered the phrase “idiot savant” to himself in one of the languages which the white cap could not automatically translate."

Possible anachronism. This story cannot be set any later than 1778 (Either the year of Voltaire's death or the year that Voltaire decided not to come back to Earth, depending on where this story goes), but the term 'idiot savant' wasn't used in the manner I think you're trying to use it (as in referring to savant syndrome) until 1887 by Dr Down. 'Possible' because I'm aware it was an actual French phrase before then, but can't find any context for what it was referring to.

Otherwise good work! I'm enjoying this.

lol this story just keeps getting better

>>988857988857

Well what did the the other jealous musicians call young Mozart, then?

Oh wow...I cant wait until it begins. The moral debates that will most likely shape future equestria! This will be just perfect......

>>989173989173

I can't find any record of that happening, but maybe I'm missing it. Could you point me towards where you heard it? But anyway, I am certain that if Voltaire was using medical terminology to describe him thinking of people like the rain man, then he's using medical terms not invented until the late 19th and early 20th centuries. They would probably have just been called lunatics back then and chained up in the madhouses.

>>990803990803

Alright, you've got me--on this particular topic, I don't know what I'm talking about. I promise I won't use that phrase again in this story.

...I'm also not pulling it out of Chapter 7, tho. Otherwise, that would make this conversation just look silly.

>>993872993872

Nonsense! Why, I insist that you replace the words "idiot savant" with the first line of lyrics from the theme song of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.

Now if you must comment on the cruder aspects of this chapter, could you at least show a minimum of decorum? It seems you can't read any delicate discussion of the topic without being immediately inundated with the most obvious innuendo.

I shall be taking my place over here, behind this lightly-perfumed lace handkerchief. (Or mustache. ...same thing, really.)

Ah unicorns... heads full of thoughts and magic to the point where they never really stop to consider if they are being mean to the other races.

Voltaire is going to be mighty surprised by the Mare in the Moon. Also, maybe Celestia could move it so he gets a good look at it :p

That was a weird spot to end the chapter though...not sure what to make of it o.o

>>10024791002479

Nope.jpg

"Ya could be clever as Voltaire, but it won't get ya nowhere if ya wanna sell dissskksssss.

Clever never made no one rich. It doesn't appeal to the teenage market. THE TEENAGE MAAARRKKKKKEEEEEETT!!1!"

>>10025781002578

"Teenage market"? More like teenage wasteland...

Update? Another one? Sir, you spoil us.

Also, I shall endeavour to keep any further comments free of double-entendre. I shall, however, remain silent on whether or not I shall use single-entendre. For now.

I love that line about the Holy Roman Empire. That's just so classic!

Alle Hagel Friedrich des Große...

Pffff... HAhahah

Hmm interesting. At the end of the last chapter I thought Celestia was just pranking Voltaire for referring to his god as male. But I guess making someone violently ill is a little harsh to be considered a prank.

This is an interesting story and is probably the best HiE I've read. The first 10 or so chapters of The God Particle were excellent but it fell apart after that. So yeah, this is currently my favorite HiE.

How can those poor creatures survive without that second thing!

Ice cream... Have those two words now forever gotten a second meaning that I will remember for years? Only time will tell...

Not bad, his first day in Equestria and he already discovered things unknown to anypony else, except Celestia of course. At this rate Voltaire will soon be on par with Celestia whereafter the only conclusion would be that Voltaire will surpass her. Voltaire will not be sent away due to the fact that Celestia feels pity for him for being stuck in Equestria, but because he becomes a genuine threat to her, an annoying inquiring one at that.

With luck, perhaps Voltaire will discover one or two absolute truths while at it.

>>10031501003150

I'd attribute it to willpower or that their minds work in a different way, but that is just me.

I love this fic...i truley do.

>>10026011002601

I was quoting "Darkside", by Tim Michin.

I am intrigued...

Yes...yes...very intrigued

I approve. Please continue with the utmost haste

I expect Celestia will be grateful when the second prohibition lifts, although it will take her at least a century to realize that gratitude.

>>938194938194

Indeed, is it linked only to Equestria, or could one access any world they chose? First stop: Fallout: Las Vegas for power armor. Second stop: Equestria

Primary Objective I: Get ponykind to trust me.

Primary Objective II: Collect magic-resistant objects, crush them and mix them into paint, then paint armor.

Primary Objective III: [REDACTED]

Primary Objective IV: Profit.

>>971022971022

Of course, Chrysalis is, in some way, an alicorn herself - insect wings and unicorn horn. That and she had a major power boost when she downed Celestia. I think that she's probably more powerful than twilight normally, but weaker than Celestia unless she has an extra power source.

>>10176751017675

Most of the changelings had both horns and wings. They're all completely different from ponies except in their very basic shape. Power boost? Maybe, but that's pushing it. Yes her power comes from the love she drains but trying to put her up higher than she should be rather than putting Celestia down a few pegs is what I'm saying the real danger is when considering the canon. If you can figure out the number of unicorns it takes with special talents in magic to raise the sun and moon then you have Celestia's 'power level'. If we said it took 100 unicorns, only 30 actually talaneted in magic, then that is still far from the godlike powers many tribute her. That is still below Zeus, below Odin even, and is nowhere near an Yahweh. That's what I was trying to get at. Making her a god in anything but the eyes of those she rules would be against the canon.

It is possible Chrysalis is not normally as powerful as Celestia, but she isn't much alone. She got lucky but her real power is her swarm. She's not a big player like Discord or even Nightmare Moon. Celestia though isn't as powerful as either of them. People want to make her a goddess but she's closer to Galadriel than any any goddess of mythology. Immortal and wise, powerful in many ways, a big player, but not the absolute power.

Dear Celestia I love this

“I try to learn from everypony I encounter,” Celestia said.

“Pardon me, but ‘everypony’?”

“A slip of the tongue. We ponies tend to use it instead of ‘everybody’.”

I just felt it might be good to point out that to Voltaire, the sentence would sound like "I try to learn from every pony I encounter," which would seem completely normal.

>>10279761027976

A perfectly valid point--I'm the one who set up this complicated translation dynamic, and I still manage to forget about it from time to time.

But even if he heard "I try to learn from every pony I encounter", then that would still imply that Celestia never bothers to learn anything from non-ponies, so I feel I should only get a few tenths of point deduction for the error.

This is the part where I need to pay the judge $100 to find in my favor, yes?

OK, official notice time: Chapter 1 has been completely re-written.

I'm sorry. I didn't plan far enough in advance, and I suddenly realized I needed a completely different Genevieve than I had described so far. As a result, I have modified every chapter she has appeared in so far, most-especially this one.

Rest assured that Voltaire's material has not been touched.

The teensiest, tiniest little change has been made to this chapter, to reveal that Jordan's daughter Jenny was going to give King Friedrich a painting she had made of him if he ever showed up to her birthday party. In fact the change is so small that this explanation is at least twice as long as the change itself.

Another edited chapter. Everything involving Genevieve has been changed. Most everything involving Celestia has been left alone.

The punchline is still intact.

Another Genevieve chapter, another mad re-writing job.

F.inaly I. R.elish S.itting T.hrough

this fanfic

Hmm...unless my computer is playing a really nasty trick on me, it appears that this is the first story I've ever written to land in the Feature Box.

Well, insert obligatory David Tennant questioning of reality here:

(Thank you, everyone who fav'ed and liked this story to get it to where it is! )

lol love the weight joke

also love the explanation of the sun revolving equestria magical accident makes more sense than most theories

>>10392071039207

Well, more like "Discord-induced magical catastrophe that not even Celestia was powerful enough to fix permanently", but there's no need for the Princess to add that nasty detail to her explanation and cause a second panic in the same day now, is there?

I don't even know who Voltaire is and I love this story. The characterization is entertaining, and deep all at once!

>>10391451039145 Freakin love the tenth doctor

Also, great chapter.

Houyhnhnms. I could kiss you.

What would Isaac Newton do? He'd make a plan and he'd follow through, that's what Isaac Newton'd do.

In other news, Yesyesyesyes, this is a wonder.

Gotta say, this was really entertaining, despite my less than stellar knowledge about the historical Voltaire. And just like I'd expect of a story starring a philosopher, it really gets you thinking at points. Lots of dialogue and discussion. And questions. Love that.

>>10386431038643

You sir, are a wonderful genius and a masterful artiste.

My most sincere thanks for this fine piece.

Alle Hagel Friedrich des Große... ? Is it deliberatle not the translation to "All hail Friedrich the Great"? Or is Voltairs German just that bad?  

Anyways, great story so far! Can't wait to read the reast of it.

I... I think I love you. This story is a joy to read.

I normally avoid human in equestria stories, but Voltaire in Equestria?

worth it.

Image: http://cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJwMjAxMi8wNy8zMS8xMl8yMV8xN182MDZfNjI5MjBfX3NhZmVfb2N0YXZpYV9yZWFjdGlvbl9pbWFnZV91bmtub3duX2FydGlzdF9jbGFwcGluZ19hcHBsYXVkaW5nX2FwcGxhdXNlX2NsYXAGOgZFVA/62920__safe_animated_octavia_reaction-image_clapping_artist-mihaaaa_applauding_applause_clap.gif

I have to say, this IS quite brilliant. Most of all i love the 'feel' and 'mood' you manage to implement into your writing. The style of your narration and dialog brings back memories of the pieces of old English literature we used to study at my school. It’s like your expressing your character and theme not only through your story but by the very way it is written and presented.

I've been noticing a few errors in your chapters, nothing major.

But the story is good nonetheless

>>10391451039145

Oh no! Now that you've become mainstream you'll lose your edge and I'll have to find a different writer to praise!

Is Bur Lin one of that puns to translate names into Equestrian?

Exellent as always.

I dig the reference to the French Revolution at the end there. This is some pretty good stuff. Voltaire is (dare I say it) in character from what I would expect of the historical figure. I would, however, insist that he MUST bring up the 1755 Lisbon earthquake (unless the story is set before that chronologically) due to the huge impact it had on his worldview.

>>10397881039788

No, it means that my German is nearly as bad as my French--i.e. I don't know a single word of either outside what Yahoo Babel Fish gives me.

>>10419511041951

Burr Linn = Berlin. This story is being written by a pony, after all, so puns of all sorts are required, even if I can barely justify them. I for one had no idea what a "linn" was before starting on this story.

>>10436611043661

Unfortunately, the chronology of Voltaire's life doesn't allow me to reference everything that happened to him. His final falling out with King Friedrich would happen in 1753. I wanted his service to the king to parallel his service to Princess Celestia, so the story had to take place in 1752 at the latest. That means no Lisbon Earthquake, no Seven Years' War, no execution of Admiral Byng, no expulsion of the Jesuits from Paraguay for forming an "empire within an empire". Luckily, however, I do have the Philosophical Letters, the Elements of Newton, the Age of Louis XIV...Micromegas to show that he was capable of understanding a science fiction concept like life around different stars, and Zadig among a host of others to show that he was more than capable of satire at this time. I admit that I'm going to cheat a little. The biggest scene yet to come is inspired by the Philosophical Dictionary, which Voltaire started in 1752 but didn't finish before 1764.

Oh, and the real Charles Étienne Jordan died eight years before this story started. So please, nobody tell Jenny that her dad's a zom-human.

(On a similar note, I hope Francesco Algarotti doesn't have any descendants reading this story, because after the next chapter, they're not going to like me very much...)

how Strange. i figured the comment above me would have some sorT of Use but it aPpears that the post is totally useless.  I Do not think that any one should waste their time trying to decipher a code from the post from the USER ABOVE.

Now to the point,  This chapter was pretty short, seemed to be all filler.  A few interesting things though, and well written of course.

Hmm...  Blue Belle seems to be making herself into more of an ass than Genevieve is.

>>10438581043858

Ok. "All hail Friedrich the Great" should be "Heil Friedrich dem Großen". My German is pretty solid. So it would be no trouble to translate anything for you, if you happen to want to use it again.

This isn't the Voltaire I was hoping for. I love it anyways.

so I've been through the older chapters now and I'm really enjoying this new version of Genevieve. A tad sad and dramatic at part (Blue Belle was a jerk for ruining her birthday gift and drawing like that ) but I do like where her story seems to be going and the part with Blue Belle seemingly changing.

found a little gender mistake though in the observatory scene:

Eveningstar sighed. “No, I believe you,” he said. “But that is a rather unpleasant concept to swallow.”

>>10391451039145 Well you deserve it McPoodle! This story is GREAT! Is Celestia sad that Voltaire averted his eyes? I really want to know more about Noir and the Diamond Dogs

Also French is my native language if you need any help with that.

>>10449501044950

I'll take your word for it. The quote is now fixed.

>>10489791048979

Found and corrected. Thank you.

I don't currently plan to use any French in this story (besides the occasional loanword in English), but if I change my mind, I'll let you know.

This is really thoughtful and erudite, I can't wait for more!

Dawwww

I like Genevieve

Ahha, so in the usage of a donkey, the pencil grants the gift of languages.  Fascinating!  I wonder what would happen if a pony used it.

Connecting herself to the speech bubble. Very clever, Mr. McPoodle.

Well, this certainly changes things...

Now how the hell have I never heard of Emilie Du Châtelet before?

"a French mathematician, physicist, and author during the Age of Enlightenment. Her crowning achievement is considered to be her translation and commentary on Isaac Newton's work Principia Mathematica. The translation, published ten years after her death in 1759, is still considered the standard French translation."

Not only did she predict infrared radiation, she came that close to discovering E = mc² 150 years early, invented financial derivatives, and wrote a critical analysis of the Bible, a monograph, Discours sur le bonheur, on the nature of happiness, both in general and specialized to women, and translated The Fable of the Bees in a free adaptation. She also wrote works on optics, rational linguistics, and the nature of free will.

"In her first independent work, the preface to her translation of the Fable of the Bees, du Châtelet argues strongly for women's education, particularly a strong secondary education as was available for young men in the French collèges. By denying women a good education, she argues, society prevents women from becoming eminent in the arts and sciences."

No wonder Voltaire was so sweet on her

This sir is a masterpiece.

I am very glad that I have found your story.

“Hey Monsieur Jordan!” he cried out. “Ivan’s turned the philosopher into an ass!”

That was downright hilarious.

what a twist

This is utterly brilliant,

Voltaire is nominally best pony

Well, I'm outta here. Mental block on killing? Really? I'm done.

Only thing I can imagine that will become of this...

Image: https://dl.dropbox.com/u/12875849/reactions/greatshitstorm.jpg