• E Parade Coverage

    Twilight's accidentally landed her friends on Earth, and it's up to Princess Luna to save them. But do they really need saving?  · McPoodle
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  • T Secret Histories

    Twilight and her friends discover that the link between them extends back in time, not just to Rainbow Dash's first Sonic Rainboom, but hundreds of years earlier.  · McPoodle
    17,490 words · 2,349 views  ·  273  ·  6  · 

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  • T Secret Histories

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  • E The Perfect Little Village of Ponyville

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  • E Parade Coverage

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  • T The Masterpiece

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Blog Posts105

  • Today
    Reader's Guide to the Inn of the Prancing Pony

    (As of Chapter 21.)

    McPoodle here, one of the two editors for At the Inn of the Prancing Pony. It occurs to me that, with the growing complexity of this story, coupled by the lack of an ability to easily search through a story on this site, that it might be useful to have an indexed guide to characters and concepts presented in this story. I know that if I were reading this for the first time, that I would have already started losing track of some of this stuff. So, I present the following. In black text for readability, not because Luna is writing it.

    Synopsis: Celestia travels to the Inn of the Prancing Pony, in an attempt to overthrow the cabal that has converted Equestria into its own private game board.

    Setting: In terms of time, this story begins with a flashback to the defeat of Discord and the fall of Luna. Chapter 1 takes place 15 years after Nightmare Moon’s banishment. With these exceptions, the majority of the story takes place an even century after Nightmare Moon’s banishment.

    In terms of place, the story begins under present-day Canterlot (Kameneva’s cave and Redfern), travels northeast a few kilostrides to the town of Horn’s Reach (the border of Unicornia), southeast of there to Brightbrick and Bee Villa, straight west to the border crossing, present day Ponyville, and the Everfree Forest. The Everfree includes stops at the castle of the Two Pony Sisters and the encampment of Everhold. Finally, we travel to Hoofington on the far side of the Everfree, where the eponymous Inn is located.

    The “Curse of Equestria” is Celestia’s name for the transformation that has overcome Equestria, from Chapter 1. It causes dragons and most other non-pony races to become unintelligent monsters, and for ponies to turn against harmony and towards using violence and hatred to solve their problems.

    The Gods are the individuals responsible for the Curse. Saying one of their names out loud will instantly draw their attention, unless you are an adventurer. They number Foaltus, Kelogto, Cutbelt, Calorus...and Howard (Chapter 5). Celestia knows of some older gods, and Midnight Sparkle depends on their power to protect her with her cloak: Phyletus, god of cutie marks (Chapter 7), and the Nameless Gods. Discord was quite deliberately not invoked. Celestia herself is seen as a goddess by the populace, one that the other gods hate. Speaking her name as well has consequences...

    Similarities to The Best of All Possible Worlds [because I know somebody will ask] are pretty slim: They are both set in the past, with Celestia as the main character. The author of Inn, Luna, was inspired to write the work after reading Worlds.

    Major Characters (by order of appearance):

    Luna, Princess of Equestria: OK, not a character—the author. First “appearance”: Preface. Showed up as herself in Celestia’s dream in Chapter 1, as Nightmare Moon’s voice in another dream in Chapter 2. Other references include the “Battle of Northern Winter in Chapter 4, the game of “Bandit” in Chapter 8, and her care of the orphans in Chapter 9—this same chapter also contained theories by Midnight Sparkle and Firebelle as to who Luna truly was.

    Celestia, “The Forsaken One” or “The Lonely Goddess”: The main character. First appearance: Chapter 1. In the alternate reality depicted in this story, Celestia became so despondent after being forced to banish Nightmare Moon that she relinquished her title and responsibilities, tried to end her life and, when that failed, put herself into a slumber that was never supposed to end (Chapter 1 again). On discovering the nature of the Curse (see above) and her inability to escape from it as Celestia, she took on the guise of Hope Springs, one of Princess Luna’s pages from a century before her corruption. Hope Springs is a light tan earth pony with a pale pink mane. She has Celestia’s magenta eyes. She doesn’t have a cutie mark yet. As Hope, Celestia left the cave of the dragon Kameneva (located in the western face of the Canterhorn), and spent some time in the village of Redfern. After briefly traveling with Soul Cleaver’s party, she ended up in Horn’s Reach and was interviewed by Duke Comet Sparkle. The Duke referred Hope to the service of his daughter Midnight Sparkle, and together they traveled to Bee Villa, where Rigged Bee lived. Midnight’s servant Muddy Pie betrayed them to Prince Blueblood. They were rescued from the prince by Firebelle, who took them to her ancestral home of Lampyra to buy supplies. They spent a night in the location that would one day be Ponyville, and then entered the Everfree Forest. After a couple unfortunate encounters, Hope and Midnight were forced to leave Firebelle behind at the camp city of Everhold. Midnight discovered Hope’s true nature, they ran into Soul Clever’s party once again, and they finally made it to Hoofington, and the Inn of the Prancing Pony. Hope Springs was stuck in the stable while Midnight did most of the hoofwork, discovering details of the mysterious beings taking over pony bodies for their amusement. But now the Convention has begun, and Celestia has a new role to play...

    Kameneva (nickname “Kammy”): A red dragon who had been overcome by the Curse, seeing the sleeping Celestia as her treasure. First (and only appearance): Chapter 1. After Celestia broke her of the Curse, she fled to New Odessa (once Baltimare), the capital of New Draconia. From there, she vowed to find a safe way to return to Equestria to help Celestia.

    The Valiant Bees: A famed family of adventurers from fifteen years after Nightmare Moon’s banishment. The most prominent member is Rigged Bee, the lone survivor to the present day of the story, one hundred years since Nightmare Moon’s banishment. Rigged is a unicorn mare, with a periwinkle blue coat, peach orange mane, and a cutie mark of a bumblebee pulling a tiny chariot (a “rigged bee”). Her native eye color is orange, but while she was controlled by the player Ellen, her eyes were brown. She was the healer of the party. First appearance: (possessed) Chapter 1, (as herself) Chapter 7.

    Big Bee was the leader of the group, a fighter. He was a pegasus stallion with a pale blue coat, peach orange mane, and a cutie mark of a bumblebee-shaped cloud. He ended up being turned to stone for spying on the gods. First appearance: Chapter 1. Fate revealed: Chapter 2.

    Hug Bee was the team’s wizard, an earth pony stallion, prematurely aged, with a long white beard, and a cloak to cover up his embarrassing cutie mark. His fate was “too terrible to contemplate”. First appearance: (unnamed) Chapter 1. Fate revealed: Chapter 2.

    Zig and Zag Bee were twin fighter/thieves, both pegasi stallions. Their cutie marks, in the form of horizontal lightning bolts, were mirror images of each other. Zig was sucked into the desert sands by an efreet. Zag survived long enough to be retired to Bee Villa beside Rigged, but died soon afterwards of a naga-inflicted curse. First appearance: (unnamed) Chapter 1. Names and fates revealed: Chapter 2.

    Other Famous Adventurers: Celestia learned of many of these by studying the graffiti surrounding the Bee’s monument commemorating their encounter with Kameneva. Moldy Cane (cutie mark of a walking cane speckled with mold), Swirly the Magnificent (cutie mark of a blue and yellow circular disk, the two colors combined in a swirl pattern), Nestoria the Valliant (a delicate unicorn from fifty years before the present day of the story), and Felnor the Brave (a barbarian earth pony from a decade ago). Nestoria and Felnor were both played by Ellen, while Moldy and Swirly were apparently played by her rivals. First mention: (Moldy and Swirly) Chapter 2, (Nestoria and Felnor) Chapter 4, (link established between Rigged Bee, Nestoria, Felnor and Ellen) Chapter 7.

    The Inhabitants of Redfern (all from Chapters 2 and 3) included Loam Planter, Truth, Flower and Golddust Sifter.

    Soul Cleaver’s Party of Adventurers consisted of Soul Cleaver (earth pony stallion fighter, rust furred with a silver mane, with a cutie mark of a cleaver separating a pony from his soul), Vaya Con Dios (unicorn stallion cleric, red with yellow mane, with a cutie mark of a cartoon heart with wings), Swipe (pegasus stallion thief, dark blue with white mane, with a pile of coins for a cutie mark), and Torchlit (earth pony wizard, yellow with an orange mane). One has brown eyes, the others the same shade of blue eyes—signs that they are possessed. Soul Cleaver led the team to besiege Horn’s Reach beside the Earth Pony Army, which was merely a diversion to obtain a magic item. They then left to loot Ivan the Dracolich’s tomb. They were later seen carrying the dead body of Soul Cleaver. Almost immediately afterwards, Soul Cleaver’s former player possessed Firebelle, and transformed her into a dragon. In their encounters with Hope Springs, they were unnerved by her free will, something that Midnight Sparkle was unable to display in their presence. First appearance: Chapter 4. Minus Soul Cleaver: Chapter 15. With the possessed Firebelle: Chapter 17.

    Stride Eater and the Earth Pony Army: Stride Eater is a charismatic earth pony supremacist who seeks to use his army to take over the world. Soul Cleaver uses the group to advance his own ends, and the army ends up defeated outside Horn’s Reach, thanks to Captain Sparkle (see under Duke Sparkle, below). Major appearance: Chapter 4.

    Platinum IX: Queen of Unicornia, is a unicorn mare with white fur and a mostly-gray mane that was once blonde. Her cutie mark is a yellow and blue compass rose. Her son is Prince Blueblood. Mentioned: Chapter 5.

    Duke Comet Sparkle commands Horn’s Reach, the far eastern border of the Kingdom of Unicornia. He’s a dark gray unicorn stallion. His biggest political rival is his brother-in-law, Prince Blueblood. Comet’s wife is Diamond, and their children are Captain Moonlight, Sunlight, Midnight and Sparkling Helm. Moonlight commands the army of Horn’s Reach. Sunlight helps raises the sun and moon in Unicornia City. And Sparkling Helm is a colt who idolizes Moonlight. All introduced in Chapter 5 (although only Comet was named).

    Midnight Sparkle, aka “Midnight the Arcane”, is Duke Comet’s daughter, devoted to scientific studies. Dark blue coat, white mane, lavender eyes, magic color violet blue. She is reluctantly assigned to escort Hope Springs to the home of Rigged Bee. On her unexpectedly extended journey, she discovers much about Hope, and the wider world, that she did not expect. Now she’s at the Inn of the Prancing Pony, due to be possessed, and hoping desperately that the magic cloak she has created will protect her. Significant chapters: 6, 14, 17, 19 and 21.

    Muddy Pie: Servant of Midnight Sparkle, and darling of every city he visits. He appears to be a unicorn to everypony but Hope Springs. In the end, he betrays Midnight and Hope to his true master, Prince Blueblood. First appearance: Chapter 6. Last significant appearance: Chapter 7.

    Prince Blueblood: Son of Queen Platinum IX, and uncle to Midnight Sparkle. Looks identical to the Prince Blueblood in Friendship Is Magic. Captures Midnight and Hope Springs in order to force them to go to the Inn of the Prancing Pony. Main appearance: Chapter 8. (Blueblood’s wanted poster for Midnight is described in Chapter 11, and shows up again in Chapter 15.)

    Firebelle: A small pink pegasus mare with a striped mane and tail of alternating light blue and pale red. Distant relative of the Valiant Bees. Was born with a stunted wing, which she hides from public view. Schemes to become an adventurer, and recruits Midnight Sparkle and Hope Springs after rescuing them from Prince Blueblood. Takes the newly formed group to Lampyra, where she gets into a fight with her controlling mother, Firefly Jr. Afterwards, gets gravely injured during her first encounter in the Everfree against a band of lizard men, and is then deliberately petrified to keep her from dying. Hope and Midnight then leave her with the healers at Everhold, who then hoof her over to Soul Cleaver’s Party of Adventurers, minus Soul Cleaver. The player spirit of the ex-Soul Cleaver then possesses her and manages to get her transformed into a dragon outside the orc village. Present whereabouts unknown. Significant chapters: 8, 10, 12 and (possessed) 17.

    Rogbog the Overpowering: Chapter 9. (What? There’s a small chance that somebody might want to look Him up.)

    Lampyra is a self-proclaimed pegasus utopia, existing upon a floating cloud that drifts all over Equestria. It is ruled with an iron hoof by Firefly Jr., daughter of Firefly I, who micromanages the lives of everypony in her kingdom. Firebelle is her second daughter, who she’d prefer spend the rest of her life isolated from society, so that the truth of her disability wouldn’t get out to shame the family name. Other inhabitants of Lampyra include Cousin Cumulous. Major appearance: Chapter 10.

    The Everfree Forest consists of the former capital of Winnychester, converted by the wild magicks of Celestia and Nightmare Moon’s duel. It is now used as a testing ground for would-be adventurers, and a training ground for newly-minted ones. Midnight Sparkle, Hope Springs and Firebelle enter the Everfree in Chapter 12, where they fight a band of lizard men with disastrous consequences for Firebelle. In Chapter 13, they face a cockatrice, and Hope decides to expose the rapidly worsening Firebelle to petrification in order to save her life. They pass through the Castle of the Two Sisters and enter the tent city of Everhold, where Firebelle is left with a group of healers. In Chapter 15, Midnight and Hope take a tour as a way to sneak back into the Castle, so Midnight can do some research. In Chapter 16, they encounter a village of orcs, and in Chapter 17, they confront Soul Cleaver’s Party of Adventurers, and finally leave the forest.

    Water Cooler: The comic relief for this story after Muddy turned bad. His chapter is Chapter 15.

    Staff of the Inn of the Prancing Pony in Hoofington include Mr. Silver (no relation to the Castle of the Two Pony Sisters tour guide), the old gray unicorn who apparently runs the place, and Mrs. Cabinet, the earth pony mare acting as caretaker of the neighboring stable, where friends and relatives of would-be adventurers are allowed to stay. The Inn was first mentioned in Chapter 2, but Hope Springs and Midnight Sparkle did not reach the place until Chapter 18 (when Mr. Silver and Mrs. Cabinet are introduced). Midnight Sparkle is staying in Room 236 of the Inn, and Hope is staying in Room 236 of the stable. Midnight’s neighbor in Room 238 is Chestnut, and Hope’s neighbor in the same room number is Sorrel.

    Sorrel and Chestnut are brother and sister, the latter of whom is planning to become an adventurer. Sorrel is a small red earth pony stallion, and Chestnut is a large light orange earth pony mare with a speech impediment. Both are high-ranking members of the Thieves’ Guild in the earth pony city of Maneport. Chestnut agrees to wear one of Midnight Sparkle’s possession-proof capes, modified into a hat. Introduced in Chapters 18 (Sorrel) and 19 (Chestnut), although Chapter 20 is where they really get the chance to shine.

    Burnished Lore (aka Uncle Bernie): A permanent resident at the Inn of the Prancing Pony. An old gray pegasus stallion, grand-uncle to Firebelle, and her source for information about adventuring. Midnight Sparkle sought him out in Booth #9 to inform him of the fate of his niece. She attempted to approach him regarding her magic-proof cloaks, but he rebuffed her. Major appearance: Chapter 19.

    Winter Harvest and Copper Plate are two sisters who have come to the Inn of the Prancing Pony to become adventurers. Winter Harvest, the elder, is a snow-white pegasus with a light tan mane and bright yellow eyes, and Copper Plate, the younger, is a copper-colored unicorn with a small horn, silver-white mane and tail, and dark orange eyes. Winter is the more practical one, while Copper is the dreamer, and may go down in history as the inventor of the pony comic book. Midnight Sparkle meets them at the Inn and gets them to agree to try out some of her possession-proof cloaks for when it becomes time for them to become adventurers. They are both inducted into the Thieves’ Guild by Chestnut. Major appearances: Chapters 19 and 21.

    Torn Deck is a would-be adventurer, the upper-class son of the Chief of Police in Maneport. A white-coated earth pony stallion with a blonde mane and tail, “like a muscular version of Prince Blueblood”. He attempts to bond with fellow aristocrat Midnight Sparkle, which only serves to emphasize how far her attitudes have changed since meeting Hope Springs. Major appearance: Chapter 21.

    Inhabitants of the Other World control everything that happens in Equestria, but think that they are merely playing a game. The company in control of everything is Horsewords, Inc., run by Mary Jo Powell. The only name of a player known thus far is Ellen, who played Rigged Bee, Nestoria the Valiant and Felnor the Brave in three separate generations. She has brown eyes, which are exhibited by her adventurer ponies when she possesses them, and has exhibited a fascination with Celestia. Most of this information is discussed in Chapters 19, 20, and 21. Ellen’s lone “appearance” was in Chapter 1, although she was discussed in Chapter 7.

    1 comments · 9 views
  • 1w, 6d
    A Writer’s Guide to Addressing Pony Princesses, by Luna (A Pony Princess)

    I don’t mind, mostly-American fanfiction writers, really I don’t. I mean, nopony gets it right at home, either. Too little of the honorifics for me, far far too much for her. Thankfully, we are no longer in an era where failing to use the correct term was a whipping offense (one very selectively enforced). But it does make you look the teeniest bit foolish in front of your brethren who do live in aristocracies when you continue to get it wrong.

    Let us begin with Exhibit A, the standard invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala. The things are so common, preserved as they tend to be by the “lucky” invitees long after the events in question, that I have no doubt that a significant number of you humans have actually seen one, or a copy of one, for yourselves:

    Hear ye, hear ye! Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce The Grand Galloping Gala, to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on...

    ...And there’s no reason to rehearse the rest.

    Let’s break this down, shall we?

    Her Highness. A princess is “Her Highness”. A prince is “His Highness”. That’s in the third person. If addressing one face to face, she is “Your Highness”. She is not Her Majesty. That is for kings and queens. It doesn’t matter that Celestia and I rule Equestria, it’s still “Highness”, not “Majesty”, got it?

    Her Royal Highness. This word, “Royal”, is what distinguishes a ruling princess from a princess in waiting. The proper form of address is to use “Royal” before “Highness” the first time you are introduced to or speak to a reigning princess. It is not necessary to use the term afterwards. By the way, this means that you should not use “Royal” with Blueblood—that pony has more than enough airs as it is, so please don’t inflate his head any bigger than it already is. We have to live with the stallion, after all. Cadance is an interesting case: she currently doesn’t have a kingdom, making her just a “Her Highness”, but there is a very small probability that her kingdom could just rematerialize from the ice and arctic tundra one day, in which case she would become a “Her Royal Highness”, or even a “Her Imperial Majesty” (see below).

    Her Grand Royal Highness. Don’t do this. “Grand”, “Magnificent”, “Chooser-of-Who-Lives-and-Who-Dies”? These are all suck-up terms. We will find creative ways to snub you if you insist on employing one. And now you know something about the pony who writes up the Grand Galloping Gala invitations that you did not know before.

    Now, with that out of the way, let’s lay down a few additional rules:

    First, if a reigning diarch tells you to call her by her first name and not by her title, you do what she says. It amazes me to no end when a loyal subject will do anything asked by her diarch, except treat her like a fellow pony.

    Second, I’ve observed that your fiction frequently has cause to invent individuals with other titles, so let’s quickly cover the correct forms of address for them:

    Queen: Her Majesty. This one I’ve never seen anybody mess up, even regarding the one that the Diarchy is not getting along with well right now. So kudos to you authors for that.

    Emperor: His Imperial Majesty. Emperors tend to be rather touchy individuals in Equestrian history, considering that most of them pulled their titles out of thin air, and are then prone to lose them even more quickly, so it’s probably best for your health’s sake to never forget the “Imperial” part.

    Duke: Your Grace. Equestria does not currently have any dukes, but they have had some in the past.

    Countess, Earl, Baroness or Baron: My Lady or My Lord. All of those titles fell out of favor in the Thirty-Fifth Century, thanks to the Rubber Robber Baby Baroness Conspiracy. [Don’t ask. I would have come up with a much better title if I wasn’t...indisposed, at the time.]

    God: Whatever He wants you to call Him today. We’ve only had the One so far. Nowadays, I call Him “The Eminently Imperial Collector of Pigeon Offerings”. I’ll correct the title whenever He asks me politely to do otherwise.

    Finally, there is one last rule to observe: Unlike human nobles and monarchs/diarchs, Equestrian titles only apply within the borders of Equestria. While I reside here on Earth, I am “Luna”—no “Princess” or “Highness” required or suggested (or wanted, for that matter). During Celestia’s visits here, she is also merely “Celestia”. Of course, it goes without saying that an alicorn’s memory is very long, so just because one is not required to use a level of courtesy doesn’t mean that acting like a buffoon is a very wise move on one’s part.

    10 comments · 131 views
  • 4w, 3d
    At the Inn of the Prancing Pony: About the Editors


    It occurs to me that I never formally introduced the two humans who are helping me with this story.

    First of all, we have McPoodle, who wrote his own self-introduction here for “The Best of All Possible Worlds”. On top of his translation duties, McPoodle is also a bit of an author, and I have been informed that most of the stories published using his account were actually written by him. I may have also heard something about a pony-initiated lawsuit, although the details elude me.

    Hope (no relation to the alias I came up with for the disguised Celestia, either in fact or in metaphor) is also an author, and a bit of an organizer. Not being much of a reader of fiction based on myself or the ponies I care about, I wouldn’t really know too much about that. I do know that she’s done a great job at motivating me in recent weeks to get this story “into gear”, as it were.

    I’ve asked her to submit an essay to put alongside McPoodle’s, and here it is. I’ll leave it uncolored, but in future, you can expect McPoodle’s contributions to my posts to be in orange, and Hope’s in purple.

    Hello everyone! My name is Hope Dawn. Legally changed after the portal opened, it used to be much more mundane. I am Her Royal Majesty’s editor and sounding board for this story that she has been kind enough to make public.

    For some personal history, I am the author of a few short pieces of work myself, all published before the portal opened. The most famous of these is The history of the unicorn, Mythology or Sociology?

    Surprisingly this is not why I was hired on to work with the Princess. Rather a hobby of mine overtook me, after posting a small ad in a Las Vegas newspaper. This ad was looking for adventurous and creative persons who would be willing to meet up with me and collaborate on a project, however the only response I received was a scroll.

    This scroll being delivered in person and by a thestral took me by surprise, surpassed only by my surprise when I was greeted by the royal seal of the moon upon opening it. She advised me that she had been searching for an expert on popular culture, and was willing to hire me or collaborate with me remotely on a few things.

    This resulted in a two day cowering session during which Narcie (My recently official girlfriend, a unicorn by the name of Narcissus Blossom) was able to convince me that the Princess of the night was not in fact trying to capture me for loving a unicorn, and in addition that the Princess would not want to “suck my blood.”

    Of course, by then a second thestral had arrived, and she stayed a few hours to explain the deal. I would be allowed to travel with the Princess or remain here. Both options would involve employment and collaboration. The deliberation took another day, and then Narcie and I began to pack.

    Now on the road with a winged unicorn in addition to my girlfriend, most days I alternate hours of panic and fascination at my situation. I have also come to know Her Royal Majesty’s proofreader, an odd fellow who goes by the name McPoodle. He makes a good conversationalist when he isn’t making the Princess angry.

    As I have been asking recently to collaborate on the blog posts being made, I was told that the readers likely have no idea who I am, leading to this into.

    Let’s see, I’ve covered the checklist; personal info, situation, past work... Narcie says that I should also talk about my hobbies.

    Before becoming an author I was a field engineer for an IT company in Nevada, in the United States. I build computers in my spare time and play more video games than are likely good for me. I wonder if the Princess has ever played any?

    Regardless, thank you for reading the story and this blog post, I hope that I can help the Princess to complete her current and future creative endeavors.


    Hello everyone! My name is Hope, I am a fairly low key author who has probably written more poetry than stories, but upon gaining a working friendship with McPoodle through the Pony Earth Verse series of stories, I decided to abuse that friendship by becoming a co-author in one of his stories!

    Fun times.

    A bit of trivia involving our current work, I am not writing Hope in the story! Nope, I’m writing a few others but not that one. I had to decide if I was flattered or if I should be concerned, and in the end I decided that any association with Celestia is a good one, and moved on with my life.

    0 comments · 118 views
  • 5w, 5d
    Luna's Reviews: Doctor Who: Survival, Part Three--How to Survive the End of the World

    Before I get into the last episode of Survival, I suppose I should warn you. Andrew Cartmel takes himself very seriously. It’s very easy to look at all of this, and choose to laugh at its utter pretentiousness. It was probably just a good a reason to abandon the series as any other. But I’m going to act like all of this is very serious indeed.

    So do try to restrain your chortles until the end. I’ll even help you out by starting with some serious analysis before getting back to the stuff about teleporting animatronic cats and people in adorable cheetah fursuits that are supposed to be intimidating.

    There was at least one other group of dedicated fans in the dying days of the series beside the obsessed young men I have been following. As Doctor Who was an outsider show, with a cast of outsiders, so it gained a following of those who were outsiders themselves. Many of these would become the primary authors of the Wilderness Years, and some of them would be responsible for the Revival in 2005.

    The interpretations were there, if you wanted to look for them. In most cases, they were never intended by those making the serials, but this was a forbidden culture, well-practiced in disguising themselves as “normal”, and in using double meanings to communicate with their own kind even when in mixed company.

    Ace was a strong-willed young woman whose one romance scene with a man was completely unbelievable, and whose only strong friendships besides the Doctor were all women of her own age. You can probably guess the inferences that many have made from these observations. Survival, perhaps more than any other of Ace’s appearances, really pushes for this interpretation. Through the metaphor of the hunt, she is discovering her strength as a woman for the first time, and her guide is yet another woman: Karra, who at one point must have been human. In Survival, Karra was voiced by Lisa Bowerman. In the world of Doctor Who, Bowerman is best known for playing the character of Bernice Summerfield.

    Bernice Summerfield was the most popular of the Seventh Doctor’s companions in the Virgin New Adventures after the corruption of Ace. She was a wise-cracking archeologist from the future and yes, Steven Moffat did pretty much steal her personality and occupation wholesale when creating the character of River Song for the Revived series. (3)

    In 1996, with the coming broadcast of the TV movie, the BBC took back the publication rights to Doctor Who from Virgin Publishing, and began their own series of books. Unfortunately, the financing deal necessary to create a new Doctor Who series on television fell apart, and the new book series also was rejected by many readers for not being dark and gritty enough, and for lacking a strategic vision like the Virgin books had. Virgin, seeing this opportunity, put out a new series of novels centered around one character they had 100% ownership of: Bernice Summerfield. The novels contained all sorts of wonderful concepts that were just this side of copyright infringement territory. In contrast to the BBC, this series actually managed to do quite well.

    At this moment, a new company called Big Finish Productions approached Virgin for the right to create audio plays based on the Summerfield books, and they hired Lisa Bowerman to play her. The audio adventures did even better than the novels did, as this was the era when audio plays in general were becoming huge. The BBC took notice, and despite having one of the best radio teams in the world, gave Big Finish the contract to make audio plays about Doctor Who, including stories starring past Doctors. And so Bernice Summerfield was responsible for the continued employment of Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy and even poor Paul McGann, the Eighth Doctor and star of the TV movie who never got a proper series of his own. Big Finish is still making Doctor Who audio plays even today, the only part of the Wilderness Years to have survived into the present.

    The Doctor tries to get Ace to help them return to Earth, but Karra lures her away for a hunt.

    Back on Earth, the Master looks into a mirror and wills his animal features to disappear. Beside him, Midge has completely surrendered himself to his darker nature.


    Ah. You are all animal now. You're so weak,

    your will devoured. A stronger mind will

    hold on itself longer, a will as strong as mine.

    How much longer? If I have to suffer this

    contamination, this humiliation, if I am to

    become an animal, then like an animal I will

    destroy you, Doctor. I will hunt you, trap

    you, and destroy you.

    He easily asserts his control over Midge.

    On another world, Ace briefly comes to her senses, but Karra, calling her “sister”, easily pulls her back in:


    Are you hungry? The chase.




    The hunt. Smell the blood on the wind. Hear

    the blood in your ears. Run, run beyond the

    horizon and catch your hunger!

    She howls, and two horses run to them, eager to hunt as well. (There are temptations here for more than just the humans watching this program.)


    Are you hungry, sister? Come hunting.

    The Doctor catches up with Ace. He tells her what is going on, tells her that if she chooses to surrender herself enough to take them back to Earth that she may never regain her humanity, and then leaves the choice up to her. With a feral grin, she shifts her eyes, and brings the Doctor and the humans back home. To Earth, yes, but more specifically to just outside the TARDIS. But travelling with the TARDIS is its own kind of hunt, a never-ending hunt for adventure that requires a human mind rather than that of a cheetah’s. And so Ace becomes human again.

    Peterson walks away, already convincing himself that the whole thing was a hallucination, and that some of the Doctor’s prescriptions must have been at fault.

    The Doctor and Ace begin tracking down the Master and Midge. At Midge’s flat, they discover his traumatized sister and the corpse of the pet cat. At the Youth Center, they discover the corpse of Patterson—the test of the “survival of the fittest” was finally applied to him, and abandoned by his traumatized students, he failed the test. Then the Master turns the students.

    The Doctor and the Master meet on a hill. Midge is on a motorcycle, armed with the sabre tooth. A second cycle awaits. Ace tries to board it, her eyes turning yellow, but the Doctor stops her, telling her if she fights she will lose herself forever. So instead he gets on the bike.

    (Sylvester McCoy on a motorbike is one of the silliest things in the entire series, and I am counting Ingrid Pitt attempting to judo-chop the Myrka in Warriors of the Deep. Despite this obvious fact, the show has him do this not once, but twice. I guess you just couldn’t be a legitimate hero in the 1980s without riding a chopper.)

    The two motorcycles joust, ending in a tremendous explosion (as these things tend to do); the Doctor appears to have died, but not before clearly defeating Midge. In disgust, the Master orders his servant to die, and he does. The students surround Ace. She cannot fight, and calls for help.

    Karra on her horse materializes in a flash of light. The Master orders her to dismount, and she is forced to obey. He tries to assert his complete control over her, but she resists, so he stabs her to death with the sabre tooth. Karra turns briefly into Lisa Bowerman before dying in Ace’s arms, her last words “Good hunting, sister.”

    The Master walks over to the TARDIS, and tries to break in, but is stopped by the Doctor. The Master proclaims that this will be the end of their never-ending confrontations, because he has mastered the power of the Cheetah Planet. With a flash, he transports them both back there.

    The planet is collapsing to the force of (stock footage) volcanoes all around them. The Doctor’s eyes go feline, but he still urges the Master to help him escape.


    Escape to what? I don’t choose to live

    like an animal.


    If we fight, we’ll destroy this planet. We’ll

    destroy ourselves.


    (while CHOKING the DOCTOR)

    You should have killed me, Doctor.


    If we fight like animals, we die like animals!

    Somehow, this statement, and the decision not to fight back, is enough to bring him back to Earth. The Master presumably died on the Cheetah Planet. (Until the TV movie came around, and proved otherwise.)

    There is a brief moment that is perhaps lost on most viewers. What with the duel, and the explosion. and the Doctor’s disappearance, it appears to Ace that her mentor has died, as she finds his hat and trademark umbrella on the ground. She’s back in her hometown, in her own time, so she could have walked away, like so many other companions left behind by the Doctor. Instead she puts on his hat. I see this moment as a sort of exit window for the imaginative fan: the Doctor has died with the series, but that doesn’t mean that Ace, or the fan, has to give up. She could have walked up to that TARDIS, gone in, and continued off to her own adventures. Snuck out the back door of the series, like Bernice Summerfield snuck out the back door of her series. So goes the fantasy.

    In the actual episode, the Doctor stops Ace before she can put on that hat. They look around, and see that all those who have surrendered themselves to their inner cheetah have disappeared—to continue the hunt forever, perhaps. The same hunt that will never disappear from Ace’s heart.


    Where to now, Ace?






    The TARDIS.


    Yes, the TARDIS. There are worlds out there

    where the sky is burning, where the sea's

    asleep, and the rivers dream. People made

    of smoke, and cities made of song.

    Somewhere there's danger, somewhere

    there's injustice, and somewhere else the

    tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace, we've got

    work to do!

    Doctor Who ended on December 6, 1989. But it will never die, and that statement would have been just as true in a universe with no Revival, no Big Finish, no TV movie, no Virgin New Adventures. Even if the Wilderness Years never ended, there would still be a Doctor Who, as long as anybody is around to make up new adventures in their head for the Doctor.

    And so may it be for your favorite series.

    Footnotes by McPoodle:

    3) Well, Moffat did come up with the timey-wimey bit.

    8 comments · 112 views
  • 5w, 5d
    Luna's Reviews: Doctor Who: Survival, Part Two--The Master's Really Sort of Rubbish, Isn't He?

    For the first seven years of Doctor Who’s run, it was not felt necessary by executive producers and script editors to give him an arch-enemy. That ended with the introduction of the Master.

    It was the era of the Third Doctor. Philip Sandifer, in his Doctor Who analysis site The TARDIS Eruditorium, called the supporting characters in this era “programmatic”. The Brigadier is a character who’s calm and composed despite the fact that panic is usually the more appropriate response to everything that’s happening around him. Jo Grant is plucky and ditzy no matter how many times she’s kidnapped—in fact, thanks to her “degree” in “escapology”, she is a force of nature who is having a grand old time doing whatever she wants despite the world falling apart around her, rather like a certain baker I know.

    And the Master, as played by Roger Delgado, is a character who always comes up with ridiculous plots. Like the Brigadier and Jo, the Master has no character development whatsoever. No matter how many times he’s defeated, no matter how ridiculous his last plot was, no matter how many times he has to call the Doctor in to save him when he yet again gets in over his head, he’s always back in the next serial, with yet another doomed scheme to...well sometimes, is it even possible to tell what the objects of his schemes are? Conquer the Doctor’s favorite planet? Subvert a distant empire that the Doctor didn’t really care all that much about before the Master got involved?

    McPoodle in one of his stories put a line in a character’s mouth saying that Delgado’s Master is like Discord, that he only wants chaos instead of mastery. I’m not certain that this is the case. But in an era before Nathan-Turner became obsessed with continuity, and before the later eras when character development and continuity were handled well enough for them to be good things instead of drags upon the program, the Master was the most ridiculous of ridiculous characters. It appears that there actually were plans for him, that it would be revealed how closely related he was to the Doctor. (Rabid Fandom: Slash! Executive Producer Letts: No, more like his brother. Rabid Fandom: Incest!) But unfortunately Roger Delgado died in 1973, and the planned episode, the Third Doctor’s regeneration episode, was never made as planned. Perhaps the character of the Master should have died with his actor.

    Ace tries to reason with her friends, but they appear more inclined to either panic or give up. She resolves to capture one of the cheetahs. The most enthusiastic of the teens for this plan is a young man named Midge.

    The Master with his cat eyes brags to the Doctor and Paterson that he commands the cheetah people, but it appears to be more persuasion than the outright hypnotic control that the Master is known for. The Doctor mounts a horse and takes Paterson with him. They are soon captured by a snare Ace set for the hunters.

    The Doctor tells the others that the cheetah planet is falling apart, and explains about the Master.


    Master? Who’s he?


    An evil genius. One of my oldest and

    deadliest of enemies.


    Do you know any nice people? You know,

    ordinary people, not power-crazed nutters

    trying to take over the galaxy?


    I don't think he's trying to take over the

    galaxy this time.

    The Master was revived as the surprise villain of a well-regarded Fourth Doctor serial—I won’t tell you which one, on the off chance you actually wish to be surprised by his reveal. In that serial, his motivation was survival: he had used up all of his regenerations, and looked like a walking corpse. He appeared to die at the end of that story.

    He returned five years later in the serial The Keeper of Traken (1981), near the end of the Fourth Doctor era. There, he was the force corrupting a seemingly perfect society, for no better reason than because it seemed that Traken was incorruptible. Even after seemingly being defeated by the Doctor at the end of the serial, he takes over the body of Tremas, one of the Doctor’s allies. Tremas was played by Anthony Ainley, and so Ainley would portray the Master for the next eight years.

    Ainley loved the part of the Master, and put as much of his heart into it as Tom Baker put into the part of the Fourth Doctor at the beginning of his tenure. Unfortunately, the part didn’t love him as much as he loved it. Keeper of Traken was the Master’s best scheme, a force of darkness creating suffering for the pure intellectual challenge of it, and managing to win a significant victory despite the Doctor’s best efforts.

    The collapse begins with the next serial, Logopolis. The Master discovers that a society of mathematicians have devised a means to prevent the immanent death of the universe...and halts this rescue in order to hold the entire universe for ransom. As the Doctor remarked in an earlier (Douglas Adams-penned) serial, taking over the universe is a singularly idiotic goal to have, as you can’t exactly tell every single occupant what to do, and since you have nobody to sell the entire universe to, it’s effectively useless as a real estate investment. The serial ends with the incredibly popular Fourth Doctor regenerating into the Fifth Doctor, who will see the beginning of the end of the series...and the loss of half of the entire universe, including Traken. This action was never reversed as far as I could tell.

    But these are off-screen deaths, and so sadly are easily disregarded. More front and center is the character of Nyssa, who is now a companion of the Doctor. She was the daughter of the permanently-possessed Tremas, and is now the only survivor of her entire species, nay, her entire quadrant of the universe. In this serial, and this serial alone, she deals with these losses, but for most of her run in Doctor Who, she is the bland would-be scientist that she was originally conceived to be. Like the Master, she is utterly failed by her screenwriters, who are unable or unwilling to write believable characters in a science fiction franchise.

    I won’t waste your time with the Master’s subsequent schemes. They were all worse than anything that Delgado had to put up with. By the time of The Five Doctors (1983), his fifth of ten appearances, he was already being treated as a joke by every Doctor he ran into.

    The Doctor leads the group of teenagers and one would-be drill instructor quietly past a group of basking cheetahs. Since they are not playing the part of panicking prey, the satiated hunters are uninterested in chasing them. Then the cat brings in a milkman from Earth, and all hell breaks loose. Not only do cheetahs hunt humans, but cheetahs also fight each other for the right to kill those humans. Midge manages to kill one of the cheetahs with a sabre tooth he found in a nearby bone pile, and in triumph he puts on a bone necklace worn by his victim.

    Ace pulls a cheetah from its horse in the melee, but later when she sees the cheetah collapse face-first into a lake, she pulls it to safety. The cheetah, named Karra, speaks, expressing admiration for a war-related medal on Ace’s jacket that she got in the earlier serial The Curse of Fenric.

    The Master confronts the Doctor, telling him that the planet is psychically linked with the cheetahs. The more they fight with each other and their prey, the more the disintegration of their world accelerates. The world in turn is responsible for the cheetahs: they are not native to this world. Rather, any individuals unfortunate enough to land on the planet and not become prey to them eventually become them. As the Master’s eyes and canine teeth demonstrate, he himself is falling prey to this effect. Conventional escape from the planet is impossible. Only the cheetahs have the power to leave, to teleport themselves to any world they can use to round up prey, which renews the cycle. The Master pointed the cheetahs at Earth, in hopes of eventually snagging the Doctor. He asks his enemy to save them both, before it’s too late.

    What we have then is the best possible setting to put the degraded Ainley Master into, where the thing he so desperately needs to master is...himself. And truly, Survival is Ainley’s best performance in the part. 100% ham, of course, but...well, if I were a carnivore, I suppose I could give you a good pun here regarding high-quality pork products.

    The Doctor discovers Ace bonding with Karra, and is faced with a difficult choice:


    It [Karra] could be useful to us.


    You mean it could help us get home?


    They're hunting animals, Ace. We're their

    prey. They bring their prey home.


    So what?


    We need an animal whose home is Earth.

    The Seventh Doctor as portrayed by Sylvester McCoy went through two phases in his performance. In his first year, 1987, his companion was the ever-optimistic Mel, and he was a bit of clown. But starting the next year, his companion was the “troubled teen” Ace, and he was a schemer. Script Editor Cartmel planned a broad character arc for Ace, one of the first ever attempted in Doctor Who. The Doctor would systematically explore Ace’s character flaws, her fears and her irrational hatreds, and force her to confront them. This would culminate in the 1990 season, when Ace would end up enrolling in a Time Lord academy. Of course, the 1990 season was not to be.

    With the cancellation, Virgin Books, the company that put out novelizations of Doctor Who serials, obtained the contract to continue the adventures of the Seventh Doctor in book form, thereby giving birth to the Virgin New Adventures. Editor Peter Darvill-Evans decided to take the line in a dark and gritty direction, perfectly in keeping with the trend in science fiction in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Also with the cancellation, the illusion that the series was intended for families was finally jettisoned. The obsessed male teen demographic were the only ones left willing to pay to follow the Doctor’s adventures rather than watch them for the all-program BBC license fee, so the books might as well cater to those preferences.

    Accordingly, the Seventh Doctor evolved into the grand chess master, far more manipulative than he ever was on TV. I think he would have gotten along quite well with the unbelievably exaggerated version of my sister that I have encountered in certain stories on this site. Ace, pushed farther than she could stand by the Doctor’s games, became a gun-toting badass. She probably would have sprouted a permanent five-o’clock stubble too if the readers would have let her get away with it. Other companions were brought in for the role of wide-eyed innocent, but eventually all of them ended up broken as well.

    Wide-eyed innocence was for losers.


    Where are the others?


    I don’t know. We have to find them, and



    It’s weird, Doctor. I think I like this place.

    I like it. I feel like I belong here.




    I’m a bit scared. It feels exciting.


    What do you feel?


    Like I could run forever. I can smell things

    as clear as pictures.


    Anything else?


    Well, I’m starving, Professor.

    Midge attacks one of the more cowardly teenagers, parroting Paterson’s lines to keep him in line. As the others confront him, his eyes suddenly turn feline, and he runs away. The Master, having followed the Doctor long enough to have learned the only way to get back to Earth, catches Midge in a trap, then puts a leather leash on him. The Master taunts the Doctor on what he will have to do to follow them, then he instructs Midge to go home for hunting. The two disappear in a flash. The remaining humans begin to panic, wondering which of them will transform first. Ace sees Karra, and her eyes turn feline. So ends episode two of Survival.

    0 comments · 123 views
  • ...

The royal court of Canterlot welcomes its newest member with open forelegs: the human philosopher Voltaire, from Earth.

On Earth, Voltaire is known as the greatest enemy of tyranny in the history of literature, and a legend in his own mind.

On Equestria, the court betting pool is giving him a week before the Princess banishes him to the Moon.

Note: This story doesn't have sequels per se, but there are a couple of short follow-ups set in the present day ("Parade Coverage" and "Secret Histories"), and a prequel of sorts in "At the Inn of the Prancing Pony".

TV Tropes page.

First Published
19th Jul 2012
Last Modified
15th Apr 2013
#1 · 118w, 2d ago · 14 · · Chapter 3 ·

I don't review good stories. I usually stick with the bad ones and rail on the authors in an effort to help them understand the folly of their ways by slamming a proverbial baseball bat on their heads.

That said, this is a good story.

#2 · 118w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Oh my god... a Candide crossover... I have to read this... *puts on read later list*

#3 · 118w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Why is it that the good stories, more often than not, are the ones with the strangest premise?

#4 · 118w, 2d ago · 4 · 5 · Chapter 3 ·

"Open forelegs" sounds obscene.  Just thought I'd warn ya.  :raritywink:

#5 · 118w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

I'm no expert on the grammatical side of things, so I really can't give you feedback on that front. However, as a layman, I like the style you write in. Feels very fresh for some reason. The setting is also interresting in its own way. I'll be definitely following this story and hope it continues.

Off topic: The properties of that pen intrigue me.  

#6 · 118w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

MY WORDS!:pinkiegasp: This is... this is fantastic! Is that Voltaire before he wrote Candide? Is a pony going to be his inspiration? :pinkiecrazy:

I'll be following because I know it's gonna be a hoot.

#7 · 118w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Goodness, but this is looking fascinating.  I never thought I'd read a Human in Equestria story.  I have quite stubbornly avoided them up until now.  But Voltaire?  Remarkable idea.  I just had to try, and I was duly rewarded.

#8 · 118w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Ok, now i am really intrigued as to what will happen next, there just isn't enough human in Equestria fics that only center around Celestia and said human, and i do so hope this will be one of those.

#9 · 118w, 1d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

With all the messy attempts of throwing humans threw portals into Equestria in the name of science it's still rare that any of them actually work out. I finally have a HiE to put above that Rorschach one in my list of favorites. Here's something actually worthy of that sort of position. This is just fantastic so far.

#10 · 117w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

I'm very pleased with what I've read so far. Do go on.

#11 · 117w, 6d ago · 8 · · Chapter 4 ·

That last line is hilarious :rainbowlaugh: hopefully this ends well for the little donkey :fluttershysad:

Eveningstar...could that be the author's ancestor?

#12 · 117w, 6d ago · 2 · 1 · Chapter 4 ·

:rainbowlaugh: but he already was an ass:trollestia:

#13 · 117w, 5d ago · 3 · · Chapter 4 ·

“Ivan’s turned the philosopher into an ass!”

Don't know if author is stark raving bonkers, or bonafide genius.

Upvoted and tracking.

#14 · 117w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 4 ·

There is a fine line between a genius and a madman.

Keep this up!

#15 · 117w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 4 ·

Hillarious! Can't wait to see how the relationship between Celestia and Voltaire will turn out.

#17 · 117w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 4 ·


We'll soon find out. The difference between genius and madness is success, after all.

#18 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

This is awesome. That is all.

#19 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

I agree with Clamps, it's awsome, that's all that need to be said.

#20 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·


#21 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

celestia: givin commands LIKE A BOSS:trollestia:

#22 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

I am French, a great amateur of Voltaire's work, and I must say this is charmingly well-written.

Keep up the good work, l'artiste.

#23 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

:trollestia: she mostly keeps the guards around because they're all good looking stallions :trollestia:

Hahaha this is great! We need MOAR! :yay:

#24 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·

My love for this story just grows and grows!

Though I'm always hesitant to place Celestia on any power level beyond "more powerful than all three races and either long lived to immortal". God-like powers beyond what a large number of Twilight level unicorns are capable of always seems foolish and well beyond canon. The changeling queen could beat her and without the elements she can't begin to battle a true god-being like discord with real power of reality itself. It may suite your purpose to make her a true goddess of her world given where I think this is going, but unless necessary I'm always just a little bothered by stories that write her that way. There are some who portray her as an all-powerful being who could destroy and recreate the world on a whim, which is a little more than the least of what discord is shown capable of.

My own personal canon has her as simply long-lived or the pony equivalent of Tolkien's elves with the power of many unicorns combined (based only on the knowledge that it took multiple unicorns of an unspecified number to raise the sun and moon pre-alicorn rule). Even when viewed as a goddess she doesn't need to be God with a capital "G". Neither Zeus or Cronus, Thor or Odin had that sort of power. Some people just can't see the distinction it seems. Then they cry foul when their head-canon is ruined by Season 2.

You're still far from portraying her in that way so I'm just rambling by this point. Its been some time since I last read anything by or about Voltaire and now you're making me want to know his work better with how you've portrayed his character and assuming you have him down well.

So much studying to do now! :twilightsheepish:

So much... :facehoof:

#25 · 117w, 3d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·


The last bit in Chapter 6 is more psychological than physical. The point is that everypony is treating Celestia like a true goddess, and she can't find a way to convince them to think otherwise. As for Voltaire, he has a sort of love-hate relationship with royalty as a concept.


OK, now I'm nervous. I don't know a word of French, and I bet you know Voltaire a lot better than I do.

(Everybody else)

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the comments!

#26 · 117w, 2d ago · · · Chapter 5 ·


Don't worry. I honestly don't mind if Voltaire is in-character or not for the rest of the story - being send in a land of talking ponies can change anyone :p

Plus, you've pretty much nailed him so far.

#27 · 117w, 8h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Ah, a royal alicorn and a human writer in a duel of wits, i can't wait to see more of that.

#28 · 117w, 7h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

"Eveningstar watched with amusement as the Princess explained to Voltaire what a cutie mark was, and how it was acquired. At one point the human muttered the phrase “idiot savant” to himself in one of the languages which the white cap could not automatically translate."

Possible anachronism. This story cannot be set any later than 1778 (Either the year of Voltaire's death or the year that Voltaire decided not to come back to Earth, depending on where this story goes), but the term 'idiot savant' wasn't used in the manner I think you're trying to use it (as in referring to savant syndrome) until 1887 by Dr Down. 'Possible' because I'm aware it was an actual French phrase before then, but can't find any context for what it was referring to.

Otherwise good work! I'm enjoying this.

#29 · 117w, 7h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

lol this story just keeps getting better:twilightsmile:

#30 · 117w, 6h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Well what did the the other jealous musicians call young Mozart, then? :pinkiecrazy:

#31 · 117w, 3h ago · · · Chapter 6 ·

Oh wow...I cant wait until it begins. The moral debates that will most likely shape future equestria! This will be just perfect......:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

#32 · 117w, 28m ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


I can't find any record of that happening, but maybe I'm missing it. Could you point me towards where you heard it? But anyway, I am certain that if Voltaire was using medical terminology to describe him thinking of people like the rain man, then he's using medical terms not invented until the late 19th and early 20th centuries. They would probably have just been called lunatics back then and chained up in the madhouses.

#33 · 116w, 6d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Alright, you've got me--on this particular topic, I don't know what I'm talking about. I promise I won't use that phrase again in this story.

...I'm also not pulling it out of Chapter 7, tho. Otherwise, that would make this conversation just look silly. :pinkiehappy:

#34 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 6 ·


Nonsense! Why, I insist that you replace the words "idiot savant" with the first line of lyrics from the theme song of My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.

#35 · 116w, 5d ago · 3 · · Chapter 8 ·

Now if you must comment on the cruder aspects of this chapter, could you at least show a minimum of decorum? It seems you can't read any delicate discussion of the topic without being immediately inundated with the most obvious innuendo.

I shall be taking my place over here, behind this lightly-perfumed lace handkerchief. :moustache: (Or mustache. ...same thing, really.)

#36 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 7 ·

Ah unicorns... heads full of thoughts and magic to the point where they never really stop to consider if they are being mean to the other races.

Voltaire is going to be mighty surprised by the Mare in the Moon. Also, maybe Celestia could move it so he gets a good look at it :p

That was a weird spot to end the chapter though...not sure what to make of it o.o

#37 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·
#38 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

"Ya could be clever as Voltaire, but it won't get ya nowhere if ya wanna sell dissskksssss.

Clever never made no one rich. It doesn't appeal to the teenage market. THE TEENAGE MAAARRKKKKKEEEEEETT!!1!"

#39 · 116w, 5d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·


"Teenage market"? More like teenage wasteland...

#40 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

Update? Another one? Sir, you spoil us.

Also, I shall endeavour to keep any further comments free of double-entendre. I shall, however, remain silent on whether or not I shall use single-entendre. For now.

#41 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

I love that line about the Holy Roman Empire. That's just so classic!

#42 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 3 ·

Alle Hagel Friedrich des Große...

Pffff...:rainbowlaugh: HAhahah

#43 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

Hmm interesting. At the end of the last chapter I thought Celestia was just pranking Voltaire for referring to his god as male. But I guess making someone violently ill is a little harsh to be considered a prank.

This is an interesting story and is probably the best HiE I've read. The first 10 or so chapters of The God Particle were excellent but it fell apart after that. So yeah, this is currently my favorite HiE.

#44 · 116w, 4d ago · 1 · · Chapter 8 ·

How can those poor creatures survive without that second thing! :pinkiegasp:

#45 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

Ice cream... Have those two words now forever gotten a second meaning that I will remember for years? Only time will tell...

Not bad, his first day in Equestria and he already discovered things unknown to anypony else, except Celestia of course. At this rate Voltaire will soon be on par with Celestia whereafter the only conclusion would be that Voltaire will surpass her. Voltaire will not be sent away due to the fact that Celestia feels pity for him for being stuck in Equestria, but because he becomes a genuine threat to her, an annoying inquiring one at that.

With luck, perhaps Voltaire will discover one or two absolute truths while at it.


I'd attribute it to willpower or that their minds work in a different way, but that is just me.

#46 · 116w, 4d ago · 2 · · Chapter 8 ·

I love this fic...i truley do.

#47 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·


I was quoting "Darkside", by Tim Michin.

#48 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Introduction ·

I am intrigued...

#49 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 1 ·

Yes...yes...very intrigued:moustache:

#50 · 116w, 4d ago · · · Chapter 8 ·

I approve. Please continue with the utmost haste:moustache:

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