Custom Tag: [First Person Zecora]
When Zecora is asked to show cosmetics from her herbal collection,
She finds herself in the middle of an elaborate misdirection.
Caught in the struggle to thwart a changeling plot,
She must find a way to help guard Canterlot.
Judge Prize winner in Bicyclette's Crackship Contest hosted by the Original Pairings group
Edited by: TheAncientPolitzanian
Cover Found Here: Guard Fleur de Lis
Featured from 3/2/2022 to 3/5/2022 (JST). Thank you very much for your readership!
Chapters (1)
That picture kind of reminds me of the fan comic of fleur de lis as the royal guard
which I thought that is a pretty cool idea
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Glad you think so since that's the Fleur in this fic.
The fact you kept Zecora in rhyme must have been a challenge. This was loads of fun, a very cool crackship I kinda wish there was more of.
A series of buddy cop fics where the two leads are romantically attached. Sign me up.
Right, its weird, makes no sense, shouldn't work at all, and above all it's all in rhyme.
All in all, Grade A+ stuff, my dude. Holy hell.
~Skeeter The Lurker
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The constant rhyming was exhausting to write, but it wasn't the hard part. The hard part came when my editor let me know that couplets are also the same number of syllables. I'm very bad at remembering two things at once so I would have to read the lines aloud and type the numbers as I read it. AP swooped in and saved the day by checking my couplets behind me. Props to him for being fast on the count as I constantly lose how many syllables I write without reading very slowly. It's the same reason I can't spell words aloud that are longer than 5 or 6 letters. I forget where I'm at. Here's an example of drafting a couplet:
Sometimes, I'd get stuck on the couplet for upwards of 20 minutes trying to find a way to match the counts while maintaining a description's direction.
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Glad you liked it enough to ignore the lurker part of your name and leave a comment. I appreciate it.
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Admittedly, I'm not 100% sure if it's "necessary" for the counts to be the same or not, but it was definitely good practice. I rewatched Zecora's speaking scenes in "Bridle Gossip" for reference, and while their lengths weren't always 1-to-1, the couplets' lines typically remained within 2 or 3 syllables of each other. Given the gimmick, it made sense to apply that same principle to this story's stylings.
Thanks for the high praise, Rego!
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That's what I thought! Oh geez... I somehow gaslit myself through your comments. Oh well, it's fine.
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Crap, I'm sorry. I should've communicated it better. I didn't mean to freak you out like that.
My god
I need to know how long it took to write this.
But regardless I absolutely love this story and its whole nonsensical ship.
10/10
~Reggie
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No worries. We good, fam. People seem to like it, so great work as usual, my friend.
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Two weeks-ish, but I devoted probably 40+ hours to it at least. I work as an Assistant English Teacher in Japan and some days allow me about 5 hours of work during the day, so it was steady progress from start to finish. Thanks for reading!
God damn this is good
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Thank you for taking the time to read it. Always happy to hear folks enjoying the momentary escape.
That's a very fitting explanation of the anti-Changeling disguise potion. Of course Poison Joke would be its main ingredient.
Holy shit. A 10k word story poem. I didn't think it could even be possible.
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Thanks! Just can't seem to shake the flower, huh? So useful for such things.
I don't consider this a poem, but I appreciate the sentiment regardless.
Impressive in a great many ways. The fact that it was done from Zecora's perspective and you made even her inner thoughts rhyme... yeah, you deserve that feature. An interesting pairing and very well executed.
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I meant to say rhyme but poem is ok.
11171335
Thank you for your kind words as always.
Not my usuall read, english not being my first language, usually anything written this way is hard to digest and follow for me.
That said ,i enjoyed it. It was lovely read with a fun ideas in it. . Nice take on Fluer and her relation with the Fancy Pants. Zecora painting and getting lost in Fleur was really fun. Meaning behind it at all later aswell quite cool. Alchemy stuff aswell. The talk and dialogue of characters tho really made the story. :)
The fact you've kept Zecora's rythemic rhyme through and through, really impresses me with how much time this story had to likely brew.
This story style is like an author's equivalent of playing a song. It is rare to find stories where Zecora truly gets her groove on.
This work of art is very sensational. You, Wordsmith, have been exceedingly phenomenal!
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I appreciate your time well spent,
On crafting a lyrical comment.
I hope while reading, you had some fun,
As part of the audience of one.
I forget exactly how I found my way to this fic, but I have to admit it does really impress me.
First, you manage to keep not just Zecora's spoken lines but her actual narration in rhyme throughout. Even for a oneshot, that's no small feat - I've tried writing Zecora a couple times, and it's just a headache all around! But you manage it, without the rhymes ever coming across as tortuous - except, of course, for that clever idea of rhyming interrogation. Neat concept, that.
Beyond that, this fic manages to tick a few of my preferred boxes - guard stuff, Fleur de Lis (vastly under-represented character these days!) and especially secret-badass Fleur, a headcanon from ye olde days I've always been rather fond of. For a oneshot, you manage to draw a lot of characterization in here - Zecora's expounding on her tastes might seem a bit rushed, but not too much. And her logic does actually make sense!
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Thank you for your kind words, Logarithmicon. In hindsight, I agree with the rush feeling of the Zecora's taste. Perhaps if I hadn't felt the rush myself of getting this out before the original deadline of the Crackship contest (I did not see it had been extended for 2 weeks and pulled a couple of all-nighters getting this out), I might've thought of a better way to broach Zecora's tastes or simply let it play out a little more naturally rather than force it through Rarity. Glad you enjoyed it all the same!
11189539
That's certainly alright; I know the limits that writing for a contest can place on you!
already very impressed with your commitment to making the narration match Zecora's poetic rhyming speaking pattern. and the fact that, of course, the non-Zecora characters will not follow this pattern in their dialogue makes it even more fun!
not the first time Zecora's talents were commandeered to help a pony out with their self-grooming!
hehe, love this
a stretch, but i'll accept it
oof, now that is charm! my brain is already going feral for a ZecoRity ship augh
big oof... also, #relatable
haha, love how Rarity's lines break the rhythm. they just shine so much more brightly for it, you know? yes, i am in love with the fashion horse, i fully admit this
ooh, burn on Rarity! also, super adorable to have the reserved Zecora admit this! auauagh i love her
haha, oof, that species-correction is all the more a faux pas for happening while trying to assure Zecora that she will not be forever alone due to being so different from most pony-kind. so perfect, love it
hehe, exactly what i was thinking!
you and me both, Zecora!
aww, she is a marshmallow! but oof, i can feel this, especially with how Rarity must be going on about it
aww! and Zecora feeling a disconnect from ponies for deeper reasons than just being a different species is a thing i love to see explored. Equestria as being unusually peaceful and "soft" is an obvious difference to point out, but pining for a mare from a warrior nation is an unexpected take i hadn't thought of before, especially with just how chill Zecora is in personality! i love it
her voice is just like a beautiful song, isn't it? sigh
ooh, love this Zecora couplet
hehe, such prudence! love it
relatable, especially calling Rarity a little marshmallow
haha, nice!
oof, felt this!
so true
makes Zecora's fascination with Fleur-de-Lis all the more interesting, since i imagine this to come off as a bit finicky! though that is my bias as a black coffee drinker maybe
aww, cute!
haha, fun exchange between the Ponyville striver and the Canterlot aristocrat! and love how the use of epithets is justified by Zecora's speaking style
oof! i mean that would certainly go a long way in killing my crush
so true!
fascinating!
calling it: Changelings! based on Fancy Pants's behavior as having changed, much like a Changeling would change it!
ooh, a poetic double meaning! love it
oh, yeah, that's pretty hot
perfect
ooh, loving this explanation for Fleur-de-Lis's cutie mark! it always did seem strange!
oh, nice! picking up the hint dropped about his unusual amount of musculature
aww, ear floop!
hahaha, love it!
nice
aww, i would, too!
hehe, convenient that zebras also use "mare", because i love the phrase "medicine mare"
but they must seem so much alike to a bug horse!
now you have him doing it!
ooh, loving this mechanism! it makes so much sense as a clever application of what is otherwise a novelty potion
aww! i can feel her relief from here. and yes, this was a great, canon-friendly way to resolve this!
so true
oof! and this bridges the gap from the Fleur that we see in the show to this hidden side of her. great stuff, and love how it connects with Zecora's earlier assumptions
hahaha, nice!
oof, was worried that this was going to be the real Diamondback, there!
ooh, love bringing in Twilight's encounter with the other Zecora into this! agh, there's just so much potential there
ah, love this explanation for how poison joke could work here as something with a consistent effect
cdn.discordapp.com/emojis/892463340100661309.webp?size=96&quality=lossless moment, oof
gottem
aww! what an adorable first date!
always love the phony/pony rhyme
hahahahaha love this exchange! and it pays off Fleur's earlier comments perfectly
aww, i would have loved to see her do the Canterlot voice!
we're not in Season 1 anymore, Rarity!
oof!
do love this touch of zebra culture
auauaugh i always love the tail-wrapping thing pony couples do (or i guess in this case zebra and pony). too cute!
im definitely going to check this out, because i love these characters!
i've tried to write a bit of Zecora and damn, you just make it look so easy! there was not a single bit of this narration or dialogue that felt like a stretch due to the rhyming constraint. but even more than that, the story's feel was enhanced by it, and it even became a plot point! that was just so awesome!
and augh, i just loved how much character there was in your Rarity and Zecora, and how they contrasted and bounced off of each other. Rarity's presence in particular was perfect, balancing out Zecora and Fleur's personalities while being a natural reason to go into Zecora's romantic desires in advance of the main plot and being the voice of the reader (well, this reader) after it.
and this Fleur! i loved your explanation for her place in the canon show next to Fancy Pants, and just the true reason for them always being together in general. it's just so fun, and i could totally see a sitcom-style slice-of-life tale of shenanigans centered around the two! and she certainly did seem to be made in a lab for Zecora to be instantly infatuated with her, which is always a very fun dynamic. i was certainly rooting for that tail-entwining at the end! just a fantastic Zecora story all around. thank you for it!
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I'm not sure if I should say thank you for the breakdown or your sacrifice if all the comments on the contest entries are this long. I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was a joy reading your experience.
The rule was anything not said by Zecora is a couplet. The title of the fic and the chapter title are no exception. Even the short and long descriptions are couplets.
Also, seeing that 11 leftover from my syllable counting in the quote... ouch. I must've changed that at the last minute after editor approval.
I am both super impressed with the rhyming in this fic AND the ingredients in the anti-changling-shapeshift ointment. That's a favorite from me!
11245435
Glad you enjoyed reading it,
Thank you for the favorite.
I'm also happy you bought the poison joke.
I worried it was too common of a trope.
(That slant rhyme is really pushing it...)
11245642
I refuse to judge you due to the length of the fic and how few rhymes are pushing it lol. If it were me I would've never competed it (or made it past the first few paragraphs...)!
I find it a sweet taste of bitter irony
That the pony's foe was forced to confess
Through the ingenious use of poetic tyranny
Our great protagonist managed to impress
And although I do find Zecora to be most intelligent
Her enthrallment with Fleur seemed sometimes decadent
I am not saying that her love aspirations are a boring journey
Just that the battlefield is an odd place for being horny
What can I say, I too was caught up on this spell
Once I started reading, I had this feeling I couldn't quell
I bopped my head from side to side, following Zecora in her stride
I am all the happier, she ended up with a bride
(The poison joke explanation was also great. Great job with this one Rego!)
Is this a sequel to something? There's this inexplicable reference to an alternate reality Zecora thrown into the middle of it somewhere.
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It's actually a reference to the show with Season 5's finale in the universe that Chrysalis isn't defeated. Check out the video below.
Fucking brilliant
Thank you for sharing this delightful piece.
Bravo!
Absolutely fantastic, my good Rego. Those rhymes must have taken you a while, but I bet it was a fun challenge. It flows wonderfully, and my own few dabbles in poetry inform me that you've accomplished no easy task here. Forty+ hours actually seems pretty impressive for a work like this. I'd follow suit with the poetic comments, but it's late and I don't have the brainpower for it. Now, sequel ahoy!
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As I said before, if I was gonna write a crackship for a contest, might as well do a whole line of it while I'm at it. Glad you enjoyed it!
A whole story written in rhyme that is still interesting to read...the shipping was kind of corny, but otherwise a very unique notion.
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
You can has review!
Wouldn't it make more sense to have a picture of Zecora for the cover art, then?
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Sure, but I really was inspired by this picture, so I wanted to use it.
I haven't seen many but this has to be the best zecora rhyming fic I've seen. However the iffy part was really iffy and it's so fortunate that everything turned out ok
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Glad you enjoyed the fic and thanks for the high praise!
Sometimes, iffy parts happen, but hopefully the iffy part was resolved well enough.
Whole fic in rhyme, and competently written?
Have my like, good sir, I'm positively smitten.
Nice story.
With your other story about Cheerilee/Derpy, that was a ship I could possibly think of on my own. But this ship is something I would have never thought of even if I had a thousand years. But that's why I like about these crack ships. 
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Surprisingly, I couldn't find another Cheerilee/Derpy ship fic on the site, at least with a tag search, nor could I find much in the way of the two together as a pair. It seemed like one that would've happened given how many headcanons have Ditzy and Dinky being related in some way (pretty sure that was never confirmed in canon at least). But I guess Cheerilee isn't super popular.
I'm glad you enjoyed this one too. It was a blast to get these two together. I wasn't originally going to have Unchanging Truths link to this story at all, but I loved the crackship so much that I decided to keep it going in the background.
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Ya Cheerilee only seems to get fics with Twilight or Big Mac for the most part, unfortunately
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Don't forget the teacher/teacher rarepair of Cheerlestia. I hope there's a good longfic with them. I haven’t checked.
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