Unidentified Path Forward

by Partycannon_

Chapter 4.5: S.O.S

Sweetie Belle took out her map that was a few years old but still held up rather well, her eyes darted off the page to look at the surroundings to dart back to the map. She then took out a old red marker and marked her place on the map. The day had just begun, birds were chirping and the sun brightened everything. Sweetie continued to trot through the open fields and around every ten or so minutes check the map, she was headed to a small town that is almost seen on none of the maps. She hoped that this place could provide cover for a short while.

-:: Scanning... Scanning... S.O.S Signal: Detected ::-
-:: Approximately: 2 Miles: East ::-

'S.O.S? Some pony might need help. Wait, who can broadcast an S.O.S signal to my radar or is it just picking up someone in need?' in search of answers Sweetie began trotting east, at a faster pace.

After entering a more wooded area Sweetie made sure no one was around and then activated her rocket propelled hooves. She then began to hoover just a little off the ground but began moving at a faster rate and eventually ending up at a small cave. A large metal door appeared not to far in, the door was already opened and inside was almost pitch black. Sweetie turned on her night vision and peeked inside.

The inside was a large room with stone walls, ceiling, and floor. Tables, chairs, lights, and papers littered the floor flipped over or broken. It seemed to be a lobby area with around five or so doors that left into other rooms not counting what Sweetie assumed to be bathrooms. She rechecked her map but saw nothing even close to this area, this only made her want to explore even more. Sweetie took a step inside the room and instantly felt the cold oppressive atmosphere and wanted out, however she stood her ground even with the shadows quickly latching on to her.

CLASH! BANG! CLASH! came from behind one of the doors making Sweetie jump as more shadows latch to her. She really felt like leaving but her curiosity told her to press forward. She opened the door leading to a long hallway with four doors on each side and one door at the very end, each door had a window near it showing the room. One of the doors on the left side near the end had a light on, Sweetie trotted very quietly up to the window to peer inside, just to notice that the door was blocked by a book shelf that fell over breaking the handle. Sweetie looked inside to see a orange stallion with white hooves and white fur on his nose, he had a orange unkempt mane and circular glasses along with a unicorns horn. He was looking at a terminal which gave off light within the room, he turned sensing someone was looking at him to see Sweetie Belles face in the doorway then turned back to the terminal to read another line and his pupils became tiny as he looked back.

"AHH!" yelled the orange unicorn jumping back and landing on a mountain of paperwork. His head poked out. "Um. Your not a robot wanting to take my brain... Are you?"

"Um, no?" Sweetie answered. "My name is: Sweetie Belle. I am here to rescue you?"

"Oh, my name is: Sunburst," said the orange unicorn rubbing the back of his head. "Well, first things first. Can you help me out of this room?"

"Ill see what I can do," Sweetie then turns to the bookshelf and attempts to push it but it doesn't budge.

"Try using a crowbar, I know there is one near the entrance of this hallway." suggested Sunburst.

Sweetie makes her way over to the crowbar and just barely lifts it with her magic and brings it to the bookshelf. After trying to shove the crowbar under the shelf she gave up.

'It seems Sunburst is already scared of robots down here so I rather not use my missiles but there isn't much of a choice.' thought Sweetie "Hey wait... Can't you just teleport out here" she asked.

Sunburst turned away from the panel. "No, there seems to be something down here zapping magic, I have a theory but I don't know for certain," replied Sunburst turning back.

Sunburst, after reading another line heard a small explosion and jumped back, once again landing in the papers. He looked to the door as the dust cleared to see Sweetie Belle in the doorway.

"Uh? What happened?" Sunburst pushed up his glasses from falling off his face.

"I rather not explain, what are you doing down here?" answered Sweetie looking around the room. "And how did you get stuck?"

"Well, I found this place while looking through some books I came across and cross referenced them to end up here," Sunburst gave a calm explanation. "Wait, but what are you doing here? You say you're here to rescue me but what does that mean?" pointing a hoof at the little filly.

"I really rather not answer that," said Sweetie.

"Wait, are those?" Sunburst quickly darted in circles around Sweetie Belle while pushing up his glasses. "Fascinating, I have never seen it this close before!"

"Seen what?" She cringed.

"The Hollow Chains," He replied. "Most ponies can't see unless looking really hard. Something terrible must have happened to you," Sunburst was bursting with joy. "Even the smallest shadow can have a profound impact, you must have at least six on you, they are healthy too. How did you get out of bed?" he began to poke at the shadows.

"Oh? I didn't really notice them." she lied.

"You should try and get rid of them. When they are this healthy you need the last thing you need is to ignore it. Magic may be able to numb them but that is a dangerous road, if you do decide to do that method, make sure you use it to get rid of it or you could start relying on it." Sunburst paced back and fourth and Sweetie was unsure if he knew she was there.

Crying began past the door at the end of the hallway making Sunburst and Sweeties spine shudder. Sweetie assumed the sound to be from a mare but it could be from a colt. The shadows latch on even harder as she checked the hallway to see the large door. Sunburst snapped out of his fear to inspect the shadows then he moved on to the door.

"Regardless of why you are down here, this place is dangerous. You should leave," Sunburst said with a stern face looking to Sweetie Belle.

"That is why I need to stay, especially if you don't have magic." Sweetie shot back and trotted up to the door giving it a push. The door creaked open revealing a large room of pony exoskeletons with various forms of plating on with different colors. All of the exoskeletons were connected by a wire that plugged into a large broken glass tube in the back, even with Sweeties night vision it was still hard to see. She did notice a light coming from a pair of eyes attached to a exoskeleton in the far right of the room. Sunburst tried to grab Sweetie as she entered the room but failed, and quickly followed her as she moved to the light.

"P-P-Please, h-h-help us-s-s," the exoskeleton cried quietly with her hooves over her eyes, her voice was like there was a robotic voice and a pony voice fighting to speak.

Sweetie went over to the exoskeleton and saw that on one of her plating's was an image of two yellow colts with red manes and under the image was the text "Flim & Flam's metal corp." Sweetie recognized the name but not the ponies. "Hey, what's wrong?" asked Sweetie.

The exoskeleton looked up as Sunburst finally made his way over. "Q-Quite! Don't wake the others-s," her mechanical eyes quickly dart through the room and stopped at the large glass tube in the back, after staring for a few seconds the she let out a soft sigh. "P-P-Please, find a w-way to unplug us. I-I can't be t-trapped in this-s ____ any longer" said the exoskeleton as her eyes rest on the two in front of her.

HUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM filled the air as the lights began to flicker.

"WE NEED TO LEAVE, NOW!" Sunburst turns to Sweetie Belle picking her up and bolting to the door.

The sounds of all the exoskeletons waking up fills their ears while some wailed, others started to sob excessively, and the rest screamed uncontrollably. Sunburst made it to the door but when he pushed nothing happened, he winded up for a buck, but it only made a slight dent in the door, the lights continued to flicker until the lights stabilized and the exoskeletons stopped.

"U-U-Unit: Sweetie B-Belle, I-I-WE see that-t you have come to-o see your cousins-s!" The voices came from all the exoskeletons, all had the same pony verses robotic voice.

"Oh... Its me, I'm the one that shouldn't be here," Sunburst said narrowing his eyes while putting down Sweetie Belle.

"S-S-Sweetie Bell-le, what are you-u doing with t-that organic pile-e of t-trash," it said.

Sweetie looks to Sunburst closing his eyes while tilting his head down. "The pile of trash is my organic servant," Sweetie looks to the exoskeletons and the glass tube in the back that revealed a large black biomass that got so large it broke out and continued to grow outside of the tube.

Sunburst looked to Sweetie Belle in surprise and started to understand. "G-Good work, if-f you need I-I-WE can change the organic life form to the certainty of metal," the cluster of exoskeletons said. A wall opens to reveal a hospital bed with straps and stains of red with various forms of mechanical arms extruding from the walls. Sunburst took a hoof step back.

"No! The 'life form' needs to stay 'organic' for that's how I get past... Anti Machine protocols, the 'life form' is um, one hundred percent loyal. Because of that I would like you to return magic to the 'life form'," Sweetie said with frequent pauses.

"Well, I-I-WE do not believe the life form-m could cause us any h-harm even if they wanted to. I-I-WE will let them have it back. H-However, S-Sweetie Belle, just know that organic lif-fe changes rapidly and-d can be unpredictable, m-make sure y-you check constantly t-to watch for backstabs." the cluster continues "A-As a new model you-u must be able to d-detect i-if they a-are hostile-e, I-I-WE can not."

Sunburst was shocked as his magical energy came back and he instantly cast a spell. "Sweetie Belle? Sweetie Belle? I am casting message, can you hear it?"

Sweetie looked to Sunburst to see his mouth not moving. She gives him a nod.

"When you think something try to send it to me, message should let you talk to me as well," Sunburst sent a thought.

"I think I got it," Sweetie sent an answer.

"Fascinating, this might change how the message spell is thought, I was thinking it couldn't work on robots, you are one right?" thought Sunburst to Sweetie.

"Its true, however lets decide on what we need to do before thinking about the theories of spells," Sweetie thought looking at Sunburst again.

"W-Well, let US talk about why you-u are here. You wish-h to be conn-nected? Do you n-not? Our sister 'program' that-t made you, did not bless-s you with the j-joys of connection," said the cluster.

"Can you tell me about the sister 'program'?" Sweetie took a hoof step forward.

"Sweetie Belle, this hive mind is crazy, we need to leave. It seems like they can't do anything on the surface so we have to leave... Even if we can get information out of it," Sunburst sent a thought hesitantly.

"T-The sister 'program' that-t made you, used a mixture of magic and AI to make minds-s that function the same as every pony e-else," the cluster said angrily "T-They then plant those robots-s into society to p-protect the masses-s. Princess C-Celestia said to-o build that facility for t-that very reason," the cluster all gave a face of disagreement.

"Princess Celestia?" said Sunburst putting his hoof up to his mouth and narrowing his eyes.

"O-Our facility was built to-o do the same, but I-I-WE found H-HAPPINESS-S in connection. M-Making AI's took to long so-o we just used p-ponies instead." said the cluster as they all grew smiles. "S-Sweetie Belle, join us!"

"Sunburst I need you to leave, this place is going to be turned to rubble," Sweetie sent a thought while a frown rested on her face.

Sunburst looked at Sweetie and saw that most of the shadows started to leave. Sunburst simply nodded and casted a teleportation spell.

'Charge the BFL' Sweeties eyes turned red as her horn began pulsing a light green.

-:: BFL: at 1% ::-
-:: Hostiles Everywhere: You Are Surrounded ::-
-:: Large Mini Missile Launcher: Activate ::-
-:: Rocket Propelled Hooves: Activated ::-

Sweetie began to fly while bringing out two boxes from her barrel while dodging the spells getting thrown at her from the unicorns. In the back the large black biomass opened an eye that covered almost the entirety of its mass as it watched Sweeties every move.

"Y-You don't have to do this to me-me-US!" the cluster once again shot a ton of spells in Sweeties general area.

Sweetie shot some missiles off and they clashed with some of the spells destroying both, while some of the other missiles launched to the collection of wires as she continued to dodge. One of the wires broke and an exoskeleton yelled "FINALLY!" as it fell to the ground and started to pour oil from its mouth, eyes, and ears.

-:: BFL: at 52% ::-

The black biomass cringed in pain "G-GET HER!" the cluster yelled. The pegasi tried to attack Sweetie while in range making sure they where still bound to the wire. While the earth ponies began to throw and buck things at her even other exoskeletons if nothing else.

-:: BFL: at 86% ::-

Sweeties horn vibrated the air around it while giving off charges of electricity. The exoskeletons got more despite, the pegasi threw themselves at sweetie without a care for the wires, the unicorns shot spells everywhere, and the earth ponies threw their own body parts.

-:: BFL: at 99% ::-

The exoskeletons threw themselves between Sweetie Belle and black biomass.

-:: BFL: at 100% ::-
-:: BFL: FIRE ::-

Sweeties horn shot a powerful blast piercing through every single exoskeleton in the way and leaving a huge hole in the biomass. The lights began to flicker and everything stopped and dropped to the ground.

"Thank you!" was the last thing sweetie heard before she too, dropped to the ground showing only darkness, even the green lines and text faded out.

---

"Hey Sweetie Belle? Ya there?" Sweetie heard a voice.

She also began to feel her head resting on a flimsy piece of wood while sitting in a chair. Her eyes began to open revealing that she was in a classroom and her two friends where right in front of her. She look up to the clock revealing that class just ended.

"Have you been sleeping in class again?" asked Scootaloo.

"Come on Sweetie we need to go do some crusadin'!" said Apple Bloom.

"Of course! What are we doing this time? Are we, flying a kite, maybe sea diving?" Sweetie had a large grin so excided for the day ahead.

Sweetie noticed that Princess Luna entered the school and began rushing over to the group of three fillies however Apple Bloom and Scootaloo didn't notice.

Scootaloo's grinned, "Well, I want to shoot a big laser-"

---

Sweetie awoke with green lines and text overlaying her tears. She sat up to see Sunburst laying under a tree reading a half destroyed book. It was sometime in the middle of the night and there was a magical flame that glowed green and gave off a tiny bit of heat and light. The shadows latched back onto her.

"Oh? Hi Sweetie Belle, you were knocked out there for two days," Sunburst looked up from his book. "You are amazing! I mean you shot a blast right through those robots and destroyed that, that, thing!"

"You mean you aren't scared? of.. me?" asked Sweetie looking down and narrowing her eyes.

"Are you kidding me? You saved my life! I could have never gotten out of there if it wasn't for you!" Sunburst talked spastically. "Together we also figured out tons of information. So did Celestia send you to the S.O.S signal I sent?"

"Uh, no. Well, you see. I am actually hiding from the Royal Guard." Sweetie rubbed the back of her head.

"Wait, your a fugitive? Did those robots lie?" asked Sunburst.

"I don't think so, I don't think we have all of the information," answered Sweetie.

"Well, I can say one thing for certain. I do not want to go into another facility for quite a while," Sunburst pushed up his glasses.

---

Sunburst got home and saw a member of the Royal Guard sitting on his doorway half awake, she was a white unicorn with blue hair. Sunburst was unsure how to approach this situation but he finally decided to trot up to her and ask what she wanted. "Uh, hi. Did you need something from me?"

The unicorn shot up acting like she wasn't just slouched over. "Yes, are you Sunburst? We heard from the librarian that you have been searching up on robots. We are looking for a filly, and we think you can help."

Author's Note:

I am sorry you sat through this chapter. It was AWFUL! That's why this isn't considered a full chapter. I didn't want this chapter to go to waste because I feel Sunburst is a good pony for a little info dumping. Honestly I'm scared to publish this one, for its themes were a little on the dark side, I tried to not go too heavily into that to keep it safe.

Well, regardless I did get some practice out of this and if you think this chapter is good, that's all that really matters at the end of the day. Something that is fun about fan fictions for MLP is that it feels like the story can write itself sometimes, you setup a scenario and it plays perfectly in your head and your like, "Ah! That makes sense," and I have come to love that about writing, not that this chapter had too much of that, this chapter and the second were rough.

Thank you all for reading Chapter 4.5, hopefully I will see you guys next time. Sorry again for the bad writing.

Comments

[Brony9216]

You're definitely improving your writing. I only found one or two uses of present tense in this chapter.

Sunburst was handled fine, but I think the robots' exposition was too blatant. It didn't feel like a conversation with a robot hivemind.

This is a more complicated issue, but Sweetie Belle doesn't act like Sweetie Belle. She acts more like a calm adult rather than hyperactive child and what I've seen in the story doesn't support the change in attitude (see Sweetie Bot: A Heart's Warming Tale for a good example of how to have Sweetie Bot mature).

Funny thing is that halfway through this chapter, I was thinking "Where is Sweetie getting all these missiles from? Shouldn't she have an energy weapon?". Then, five paragraphs later you added her laser beam.

I'm curious to know if Rarity or their parents knew about Sweetie being a robot considering what Sweetie's purpose seems to be. Will that be addressed?

[Partycannon_]

11194566
Thank you very much!

I have watched the first couple season billions of times but I hardly watch the later stuff even though I still enjoy it, Sunburst is a character I don't know like the back of my hand. I dislike dwelling on something for too long while writing so it probably did feel like that, I tried not to have Sunburst ask questions because it already dislikes him and he knows it. Then Sweetie Belle...

Yeah, I 100% agree with this. Even while writing it, I could, not for the life of me, get Sweetie Belle to work in my head for this chapter. Apart of the reason why I counted this as half a chapter. It is a complicated issue, I thought of this chapter and thought that Sunburst would be a good pick and I was right, at least in my mind. Sunburst was easy to write for this chapter outside of not knowing him too much, however Sweetie was far worse. I could hardly force her or get her to come help without going back in fourth for a few hours. But as I stated I don't think this chapter should be wasted despite its many flaws. Sweetie Belle is better written next chapter, that I can say, but I can't promise it will be 'Sweetie Belle' that is for the reader to decide. Also with the mention of the map within the first couple lines I tried to convey that at least some time has passed from last chapter and Sweetie has changed through that time. I still agree that she was hardly Sweetie Belle.

I try and make everything as grounded as possible and pre establish things before hand, in Chapter 2 I mentioned the BFL and everything she will end up using, at least for the most part. Not saying I am a good writer but I do give it a decent amount of thought. I believe that Undead Robot Bug Crusaders made it so that Sweetie would have to eat and that would be made into material for her robotic stuffs. I was thinking of doing this as well but decided that it could slow down the story.

Her parents will not be mentioned most likely. Rarity will of course come up later. What do you think Sweetie's Purpose is if you don't mind me asking?

Thank you very much for your comment!

[Brony9216]

11194619
Well, the robots say that Celestia made the robot making facilities and programs to protect others (possibly the element bearers in Sweetie's case). Since her guards seem to be going around to kill or capture one escaped robot, she likely changed her mind to some extent. Since there's a rogue robot hivemind, I believe it's most likely that she gave up on much of the entire program. Of course, if the program was abandoned some time ago, there are three options for what Sweetie's case is:
-Sweetie might have been following her "default" programming and went to Ponyville on "her own". Since the other CMC probably wouldn't have kept their mouths shut about Sweetie, word could have gotten back to Celestia.
-Celestia was okay with Sweetie being in Ponyville until she also went rogue because Sweetie was a superior model. This would likely mean that the entire program was not abandoned, only parts of it.
-Sweetie was being kept in Ponyville secretly by someone else (probably Rarity). Word would have gotten to Celestia eventually from the CMC.
Additionally, unless Rarity has horrific plot-convinient amnesia, Sweeite replaced a real filly, or Sweetie has been in Ponyville since her conception, Rarity probably knew about Sweetie being a robot. Otherwise, how could Sweetie have entered Rarity's life?
All this considered, the intrigue and suspense are good so far.

[Partycannon_]

11195623
Glad you have enjoyed the intrigue and suspense. I have plans to try and answer most of those points but unsure if I can fit all of it in without slowing anything down, a balancing act. I plan on making a post after the story is done to answer any questions and talk about my time writing the story, also what I want the story to be vs what it actually is, of course its no longer "my story" when I publish so I am interested in what others think after its done.

Also you do bring up a good point when it comes to the theory that Sweetie Belle would be made to protect the elements. It would be hard to put that within the story without Rarity knowing or writing in a simple "BECAUSE MAGIC!" for her having memories rewritten. I think it can be done and have seen it where I don't exactly mind within a story that I forgot the name of, but still a little lazy and wouldn't exactly work for the story I am trying to write. Also still going with the protect the elements train of thought it would be kind of a stretch in order for Sweetie to be placed with Rarity at her inception. That's fun to think about a way around that. Regardless you did hit one of the nails on the head at the very least.

I hope you will enjoy the climax whenever I get around to releasing the next couple chapters :) . Also omega thanks for the follow!

[darklight731]

Sunburst after reading another line heard a small explosion and jumped back once again landing in the papers. He looked to the door as the dust cleared to see Sweetie Belle in the doorway.

This sentence is fused together and comes out a bit janky. A few small improvements such as: (Sunburst, after reading an another line heard a small explosion and jumped back ,once again landing in the papers.) would be a good way to polish things out.

"Well, I found this place while looking through some books I came across and cross referenced them to end up here," Sunburst gave a calm explanation. "Wait, but what are you doing here? You say your here to rescue me but what does that mean?" pointing a hoof at the little filly.

Here, small changes like:(Wait, but what are you doing here? You say You`re OR you are here to rescue me,but what does that mean?)

In general, the story is written well, but the grammar is a bit lacking. I recommend either proofreading the chapters yourself, or getting someone else to go through and grammar-check for you.
Also, the conversation seems to be moving along quickly, almost too quickly. The characters feel as if they are reading off a script like robots (ironic), instead of acting out based on their emotions. Don`t have any fancy advice other than trying to live your story through your characters by becoming them, and adopting their beliefs and personality. AKA: Believe you are sunburst, put yourself in Sunburst`s situation, act like sunburst, write, PROFIT.

[Partycannon_]

11413316
Sorry for taking awhile to get back to you, I fixed the lines you pointed out. Grammar is something I'm not great at but something I am slowly improving on. TheBrokenBrony and Brony9216 did help a little but I think I went a little too fast during the writing so they couldn't help to much. With this being my first story I was obsessed with it and couldn't slow down because I was having too much fun writing it. Its funny because right now I am writing another Sweetie Bot story and asked for an editor but they are wanting to change big parts of the story and won't listen to me. :(

I didn't explain Sweetie Bot's abilities well. I did try my best and tell the readers of the abilities she does have so it doesn't feel like she is pulling random plot fixing tools out of her barrel. In my mind her body could keep on making missiles without a worthy drawback. Future me apologizes for this annoyance.

Anyways here is some art that I might not ever use!
media.discordapp.net/attachments/730655906575941686/1035758380758863963/BotBook.png