I'm a guy who loves Video Games and is a Brony. I get different ideas for the mane six and mostly into game crossovers.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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though
"she would curse" or "she'd curse"
older and junior and Xenilla
"watches her fly" and while technically not wrong, isn't would have sounded better in my opinion.
Other than that, glad to see you're back. Loved your first Biollante fic.
11156834 Thanks. I'll also go and fix the mistakes you notices. It has been some time since I last wrote on here.
I like it. I'm happy you decided to continue your What-If story. I'm looking forward to Biollante's adventures. I'm hoping she gets to make a lot of friends. And I'm also looking forward to some funny yet loving hijinks with Biollante and her brothers.
can't
I feel the chapters should be a bit longer. With the passing it's currently going, it's kind of hard to give a comment about anything that has happened so far. Not because nothing is happening, but because there isn't enough context to really absorb and try to start a conversation about. If the chapters were longer, with a bit more character interactions and such, it could make people want to leave comments and start talking more.
There should be a you or we here.
stay would sound better.
liven
Though
Same as above
While it isn't so bad here, it can get confusing if there are more than 2 people talking. This would be better.
through and through and while it's not wrong, using said at the end of every speech can get repetitive, saying Forest Lover told her would have sounded better.
child should be between here.
topic
Melody and may
Also, wonder who the three hidden kaiju are, one was a changeling... Megaguirus maybe? Or maybe the Muto would make more sense? Don't actuelly answer, I want to be suprised.
11161414 Thank you. Honestly, I keep getting "though" and "through" mix up. I mention before I added Grammarly to my laptop, but it fails to point out all the mistakes I made. Which is why I don't always catch them first.
11161424
Always happy to help.
I like that you remembered one of the Hydra’s heads is dimwitted.
When is next chapter?
Ok. I like this chapter. A little short. But I still enjoy it. And you got your own OC. And I can easily see Forest Lover and Biollante getting along.
I really enjoyed the dialogue in this one. Hoping Forest Lover visits Biollante again. She does seem kind of nervous about the whole Kaiju thing though. But that's to be expected I mean who wouldn't be. Lol. I would like to see Anguirus Rodan and Mothra visit her at some point. And that song at the end. Is it the same one from FallenAngels comic on deviantART? Well I'm pretty sure you're busy but I'm hoping for a new chapter soon whenever you get time. Thanks again.
Hey, your story is already a year old, I was liking it, what happened? was it canceled?