Human Fan Demands Equestria Conform To "Head CONAN"

by Mockingbirb

Where You Once Belonged

"What do you mean, you don't have any My Little Pony props?" Humie complained. "I want to go back there and get vengeance against my enemies who let a Martian swordsman hit me on the head! Also, I never found out how the latest Power Ponies issue ends."

A gloved salesperson said from under a black, hooded cloak, "I'm all out. I suppose I could charge you a high price for a hairbrush and tell you to go brush yourself, but you wouldn't like where it would really send you to."

"Where would it send me to?"

"Ever heard of She-Ra?"

"Have I! Didn't she work with He-Man, fighting Skeletor? That sounds great!" The man reached into his fanny pack, pulling out a handful of Equestrian gold coins. "I'll take it! It's like TWO franchises in one."

The salesperson laid the hairbrush on the counter. "I assume you're fine with talking horses. But how do you feel about LGBTQ issues?"

"What?" the human blinked. "There wasn't any of that stuff in He-Man. You must be confusing He-Man with something else." Humie picked up the hairbrush.

Under the hood, glinting eyes narrowed at the pushy customer. "You know there was a reboot, right? Maybe you shouldn't take--"

"Hmmph. That was Netflix only. It doesn't count." Humie felt something pulling him backwards, into nowhere in particular. "Oh...poodles. Maybe it DOES count."

A moment later, without so much as an 'excuse me' from a pimpled security guard, Humie was gone from the dealers room. It was almost as if Humie had never existed at all.

Author's Note:

Regarding Estee's contest for which this story didn't really qualify anyway, here's some early history of John Carter of Mars and a few Edgar Rice Burroughs style Martians as animated characters:

https://cartoonresearch.com/index.php/bob-clampetts-john-carter-of-mars/

In 1936, the test footage was completed. It featured John Carter running and leaping around the Martian surface, a Thark riding a thoat in full color, Carter involved in a swordfight and other vivid sequences which were quite unlike anything else being done in animation at the time. There was an opening title sequence of the planet Mars hurtling toward the screen with lettering proclaiming John Carter in the “Warlord of Mars” and title cards announcing future episodes.

Also, some of the Barsoomians who fight each other with swords would probably object to being called 'barbarians,' but in this world they can't get me.

"Oh...poodles!" (link) I suggest...well, I guess every story I've read so far by McPoodle was good imho. Maybe even very, very, very good.

Comments

[Mystic Sunrise]

. Says it all I think.

[Mockingbirb]

11371144
I'm not sure where to put the fact that this story has been audiobooked.

The Mystery Fluttershy Fan said:

Got another one for you :)

Mp3 Download:
https://www.mediafire.com/file/q0rurn3507nlzyp/Human_Fan_Demands_Equestria_Conform_To_Head_CONAN.mp3/file

Youtube: https://youtu.be/WPBwdEwV0FQ

Podcast: https://anchor.fm/mysteryponyfiction/episodes/Human-Fan-Demands-Equestria-Conform-To-Head-CONAN-by-Mockingbirb-e1ob2ba

[FanOfMostEverything]

Delightfully silly. Thank you for a lovely reminder to not take pony too seriously.