Sunset flees Equestria through a magic mirror, but not before altering the spell matrix in charge of determining the destination coordinates.
Now a new world lies before her, brimming with potential.
And danger.
This was an experimental project written to test a few new writing approaches and specific setups. See the opening author's note for more. Not related to any of my other works, though technically in the same setting.
Light editing passes only, as this was experimental (again, see note). But hey, if you like what you see, check my other stuff. It's more polished.
Crossover with Gears of War.
Updates daily until complete. Merry Christmas folks!
Chapters (24)
Connecting the mirror's transformation to its lunar cycle-based schedule makes a lot of sense in hindsight. It makes artificial werehumans!
... Hang on...
In any case, fascinating opening scene. I honestly have next to no idea where Sunset is. Looking forward to finding out, and seeing what else is here to greet her.
Hmmm, a lot of questions so far. looks like a postapocalyse or long war earth. A rifle with a bayonet could be ant time from 300 years ago to some pretty dark futures (40K?) having two moons seems like a hint, but I can't place the crossover.
Your writing is great, of course, but your question is if the idea works without the draw of characters you know from property X on a fansite to that property.
Looking forward to the rest of this experiment.
11087017
Oh no, that's not the flaw/question here at all. The presence of recognized characters and being popular with/without them isn't a question. After all, The Dusk Guard Saga is entirely OC-based, and that's considered by many to be one of the grander masterpieces of the site. Atop that, I sell regular fiction enough to make a living, and that's entirely the realm of "Here, pick up this book with characters and a setting you've never encountered before and be so enamored you give me money."
No, what was the question here was what was done with character elements. I'm only being cagey here because I want to examine the audience reaction without directly goading them by stating it, to see if my and my Alpha Readers' responses turn out to be a matter of audience taste or if the estimate of "Well, that didn't work" plays out.
Ohhhh I think I know what this is a crossover of! Super psyched! From the first 2 chapters, I'd say this is a enthralling story, and I cannot wait for more!
11087045
Oh, sorry. I don't think I worded my thoughts well. I suppose I meant more setting/universe and the themes and tropes of MLP and FIMFic norms. I was kind of concerned that might spoil your readers opinions, this element not working here in the MLP universe but possibly working in an original work without the baggage of MLP. Or the inverse, flawed idea as you're worried, but we love Sunset Shimmer so we handwave the issue and love the story.
All OC stories can have some initial popularity issues but take off pretty regularly here. And considering I've bought two of your books I can attest to your original ideas quality. Axtara was definitely taking a non-standard path in character traits and story beats for a fantasy novel, at least I think so.
Point is I've seen you make weird writing decisions and make them work. But as you said the perceived flaw is not obvious yet and you don't want to spoil reactions by spotlighting it. I don't want to go looking for possible flaws either spoiling enjoyment, so I'll just try to react--naturally?--to how this story continues.
11087388
OH! I see what you mean now. Thank you. Okay, I get it, though I shall refrain from saying anything further for the same reason you did (the spotlight). We will see where this goes!
And thank you for grabbing a few of my books! Always appreciated!
I know where this is but I don't want to spoil it. I can say that it's a universe that prominently features chainsaws.
11087453
And like that I know too. It was one of a couple I thought might fit. I really want to throw the image of the Penny Arcade joke about it. I shall resist so as not to spoil it for others, but after that no promises.
Cherish the silence, Sunset. It means they're not close by.
Very interesting start, I still want to know which crossover this is XD.
11088195
Well, we may find out tomorrow, but someone in Chapter 2 may have figured it out.
I instantly knew where this fic took place just by the cover art alone. This franchise is severely underrated.
11089072
Your guess can't be the same as mine then. One of the most popular franchises of all time.
11089166
popular in central and south America? most definitely. everywhere else? not so much, or at least it feels like it since they barely ever promote it in the US.
11089187
It's in the summary now, so I'm gonna stop beating around the bush. Gears was one of best selling games on Xbox for years in the U.S.
11089190
preaching to the choir. I guess it's just me but it definitely feels like everyone forgotten about gears. what I mean is unlike halo where everyone still talks about it years later, gears is only popular when it launches it's next project only be forgotten after like a month or so until the next project, etc etc.
11089072
Amusingly enough, before Google retired Google image search, all it would have taken a determined sleuth was right clicking the cover image and doing a search. The user would have gone right to Gears.
But in the weeks before this fic was ready to come out, Google switched to "Google Lens" ... And it has no capacity, at least with that same right click that I've found, to lead a user to the result anymore.
11089195
speaking of your fic being ready, how long is this story gonna be? judging by the way you worded it, sounds to me like you already have a finished story and are releasing chapters daily like you said in the description. And seeing as how sunset plans on visiting multiple areas of interest, looks to me you're taking the slow world building approach before introducing certain elements/characters/creatures. seems to me we have a lengthy gears fic to look forward to.
11089193
I think that's mostly because after the original trilogy it kind of went downhill. I don't think Judgement deserved the hate it got but 4 and 5 don't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as their predecessors.
11089212
yeah, kinda seems like gears is going through the early 343 era of halo phase. hopefully they can pull an Infinite on the gears franchise and rev it back to life again.
11089211
I won't spoil things, but it's not quick, that's for sure.
For a better idea, check the rest of my library. Even my "short" works are anything but.
11089232
oh I get it now, this is an experiment for an original idea except you substituted certain aspects like sunset and the gears universe to come together and play off each other to capture certain elements just to see how it turns out. well I'm a stickler for anything gears and the attention to detail, the descriptions of her surroundings, I can't get enough. I'm curious and excited to see just what she uncovers and who or what she encounters during her stay here, if she encounters anything.
11089341
That is exactly what I did here! You've got it figured! I saw a chance to test elements I wanted to write into another novel in the future and took it!
Edit: To clarify, the book won't have stand-ins for Sunset or Gears. It'll be an entirely different story. The test was conceptual and mechanical, not the story being told.
I never considered the possibility that wretches might be juvenile Locusts but it would make sense. Considering how brutal their society was, I could absolutely see them using their own children as cannon fodder.
Niiice opening!
I'm kind of reminded of My Side of the Mountain, pretty sure I read it long ago in school or Boy Scouts. The challenges of just maintaining water, food, and shelter without civilization all alone while keeping your sanity. I wonder if by the time the portal opens back up Sunset will have mellowed out and be more accepting of Celestia's guidance. Or the Gears of War setting kicks in and we get a tone shift.
Oh, and since it's a MLP X Gears crossover, I think this applies:
i.pinimg.com/originals/fc/5d/9c/fc5d9c9813537e702b0de3f46931a693.jpg
11091479
Fun fact: Gears of War 3 references that comic by giving the Onyx Guard character a "Your mom's a classy lady!" dialogue line when chainsawing people. There's also, IIRC, a rare line Clayton Carmine could say when meat-shielding someone of "Come here so I can give you a friendly hug!"
Everytime she makes noise, I half expect a pack of wretches to come running. I hope she doesn't learn the rules of Sera the hard way.
Can we just sit here for a moment and appreciate the fact that this story updates everyday. Loved the chapter, can't wait for Sunset to meet living humans.
The fact that this city hasn't already been picked clean by Stranded clans is very concerning. What's keeping them away?
Oh, Sunset... it's going to get much worse once you know more about this world. and I can't wait to see you react.
Okay, Sunset. You've learned Rule 1...Be quiet. Now here's Rule 2... Wretches travel in packs. Get moving.
monkey dog is down.
Looks like Sunset may have to find a working firearm sooner than she thought. Though the noise may just attract more attention she doesn't want depending on what's nearby to hear the shots.
It's interesting she can speak the language here but not read it, wonder how close the writing is once she learns.
I haven't really played Gears past the first game or two to know what that world looks like now (decade or two after the first game?), if humans all live elsewhere now or so many died that whole regions of the planet are uninhabited. Don't know if that even matters for your story, Sunset may never meet a human or locust-person(?) depending on how things go. No other character tags on this story.
Wow, this is getting more intense.
i wonder what are the chances that she'll bump into Marcus or JD?
So I'm guessing this is around when the Lambent outbreak started.
The Cole Train, runs on whole-grain baby! WOOOOH!
Gotta love my Thrashies!
I got "SERA" and "GEARS" but the rest is "ISRRSISSARSASRAEAA".
What am I missing?
11095324
Delta squads in your house bitch! Ya hear that SHIT!?
Good sunset now u need to learn of the danger that lurks within the very ground u tread
And with her luck, she'll be just in time to be conscripted for Operation: Hollow Storm.
11095609
I can clear that up. It's not a code, those are just the letters she's having difficulty writing with fingers and frequently making mistakes with. That it happens to align with "sera" and "Gears" is coincidence.
1600 km o 1000 Miles, that is about 30 days by foot, by car, it could be 4 days, so, ste Will definetely need a car, to carry her as far as it can, them by foot.
What the heck did she encounter
11096994
These little bastards.
https://gearsofwar.fandom.com/wiki/Wretch
11097275
Ah, that makes sense. If she think they're terrify, wait till she encounters the Brumaks.
Now she will soon face the Locust. But what of the Gears? Where are they?
Good my dear Sunset. But you'll have to do better. You're playing with the big boys now.
May the Gears of War turn you into the weapon you need to be. This is, as you say, you're destiny.
The Horde approaches Sunset lets hope the Crimson Omen doesn't find you wanting