I am an aspiring writer & blogger. — https://davidmc.io
This story is a sequel to Among the Elements
Dylan was never really a "people person," having found peace in solitude. The idea of friends was foreign to him, but until recently it never really bothered him.
One night, his dreams reveal a past that he'd forgotten.
Thanks, Sebastian99 for editing.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Very good story, makes me wonder if it was Queen Chrysalis or some pony who framed the human which got him banished from Equestria.
GEEZ! The FEELS in this fanfic was intense!
The fanfic felt like an epilogue or a short side-story-sequel-ish to something that was once a big adventure. I hope you would write the story of how Dylan arrived in Equestria and his adventures that led to his “exile” at some point in the future.
All-in-all, this fanfic is superb!
It's a very short story, and I'm sure you could make it even longer and even more heartwrenching. Still, despite the shortness, it's an ejoyable and emotional story, and the letter at the end is something unexpected, but very well done. Your writing flows nicely and is easy to understand, and your grammar and spelling are pretty solid. There are a few things that I've noticed, though know that they are fairly minor. (I'll just spend the majority of this comment going over them, heh.) However, they still shouldn't appear in a story.
In the story's opening, you rely a lot on giving the exact time, temperature, power of a solar panel, and engine specifications. Unless these play a significant role in the story, e.g. if a character looked at a clock and noted the time a few minutes before they heard a gunshot, which may then prove vital in solving some mystery, avoid including these at all costs. The exact numbers--you also shouldn't use numerals as they are way too distracting (there are some exceptions to this though, including years or ammo calibers)--draw too much attention to themselves and away from the story. They also don't add anything, since few can tell how the exact solar panel or the sound of this one engine differ from some generic solar panel or engine. For future reference, better focus on the story rather than on these details.
Also, watch out for some unnecessary word repetition ("appeared", most notably).
This may be a leftover from some earlier draft or a convoluted dream logic thing, but this sentence made me reread the whole part. None of the Mane Six actually mention his name.
The rest of the issues that I've noticed pertained mostly to punctuation. You use a hyphen (-) where an em dash (—) or a double hyphen (--) should go. This includes both introducing side remarks as well as a character's line being abruptly cut off. Some manuals of style also suggest using an en dash in these cases, but in the context of this site, you won't go wrong with an em dash/double hyphen without spaces flanking it. Furthermore, there were some recurring direct speech issues. However, I won't go into detail on them here, but if you want, I can PM you a short guide on handling these like a pro.
Happy Hearth's Warming!