Chapter Three - Wherein Diplomatic Visitation Is Arranged And A Friendly Discussion Ensues.
You are once more, after what feels like a strangely long time, the ruler of the Ever Free and Festival Director, Anonymous, and man. You’ve really outdone yourself this time.
You blow softly through your teeth as you inspect the location of your upcoming festival, held within the newly erected walls of your castle grounds. The Deer had been a bit butthurt about you manicuring the place as much as you did, but they were more than willing to accept a bit of land development, as a treat. Especially after all of the trade and free movement concessions you were willing to give them. Of course, that was more just icing on the cake, essentially making sure they knew you were cool with them doing stuff in what was essentially already their land in the first place. Nah, what really sold them was your little plan, which you are currently diligently working to set into motion by taking care of all of the necessary roles expected from one of your stature. Like standing in the middle of this empty field and occasionally pointing at things and frowning very seriously while you watch everyone else work, and occasionally telling people they are doing a good job and telling them what they should do next when they finish doing a task. All of those years of watching how your manager at work did things is really paying off now.
You give a small yawn and stretch out a bit, hopping from foot to foot to energize yourself a bit. Jokes aside all of this supervising has been taking up a lot of your time, some of which would normally be spend sleeping or having lunch, but hey, it’s a small price to pay to see it all coming together even just a little bit faster, and if it frees up a few more hands to do the real hard work, even better!
Things are proceeding almost exactly according to plan. Always a surprise around here, but certainly never an unwelcome one. As you keep a watchful eye on your dutiful if…grouchy subjects hard at work making your vision come to life, you have to admit it really is quite satisfying watching all of these busy little worker birds milling about, getting shit done.
However your brief moment of satisfaction is cut all the shorter by the lithe little bluebird of a griffon landing beside you, adjusting his newly acquired red black and green sash, dutifully in the wake of his nading to make sure the pin of a the golden boughs was displayed prominently before speaking. “Anon, there you are!”
“Ah, Beobachter Gallus, very good. Tell me, how are the invitations going?”
Well, The Dogfathers Have agreed to send a Capo each a diplomatic representative, The Dragons are currently engaged in a wrestling tournament to name a representative, so that is going about as well as he could have hoped, Zecora is currently waiting for you in your sitting room to discuss the response of the Princes of the Farisi Kingdoms.” He says, looking a bit unnerved, rubbing at the back of his neck before clearing his throat and continuing on. “King Aspen will, of course, be in attendance. The Corporatist Oligarchy of Minos will be sending a high ranking executive officer as a representative. Queen Chrysalis has agreed to attend the event provided you meet with her personally and there is a written agreement to halt any and all hostilities for the duration of the event. The Buffalo are apprehensive, but will be sending a young cow with ties to friends in Equestria as a delegate. Prince Rutherford himself will be visiting as the Yakyakistan representative, which honestly shocked me considering the Yaks have been isolationist for decades since the end of the Wars of Blood and Soil. Discord, Despite having not been invited, has informed me that he will be in attendance as a representative of…Chaosville. And lastly, Grandpa Gruff managed to convince the other Elders to visit for the Festival. Apparently they were all pretty stoked when they heard about your plan. But are you really gonna…”
You cut him off with a gentle finger to the beak “Shhhhhhhh…shshshshh…Gallus, you silly little twink. You should know better than that by now. When I say I am going to do something totally unhinged, what do I usually end up doing?”
As you withdraw your finger from his beak he rolls his eyes for a moment and says with a hint of hesitation. “Y...you do it? And then for some reason it works?”
You beam at him and smile, putting your hands on your hips and nodding “Exactly! Trust me, this is going to go great.”
“Well, if you say so, I’ve trusted you with dumber decisions.”
“Hey, Basehead Gary did an amazing job on that mural in my throne room, and I won’t take any slander. It was totally worth the forty of malt liquor and strip of beef jerky he asked for.”
Gallus inhales slowly, then lets out a patient, shuddering breath. “I’m…I’m going to go see how Gustav is coming along with the dishes for the feat and the uh, festival fare. I’ll talk to you later.”
As your trusted right wing griffon takes off to attend matters beyond your immediate interest, you take a deep breath and spend a few more moments admiring the handiwork of your people before heading back towards the castle. You have an important meeting regarding foreign affairs with a very lovely lady, and you would hate to keep her waiting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To the surprise of noone in particular, you in fact, continue to be Anonymous. You enter your sitting room, a rather cozy affair with a number of sentimental possessions on display, to find Zecora sitting near the window, seeming somewhat antsy. Not a good look on her, you decide, nor one you are terribly used to. You decide to break the ice by busting out some of the ol’ Anon Style.
“Yooooo, Zecora, what’s up my Zi-”
“My Apologies Anon, to be so abrupt, but your levity I must interrupt. This is not an attempt to revoke your pass, but a more serious attitude of you I must ask.” She says gently but firmly as she gives you a kind but firm look.
You take a moment to collect yourself, doing your best to look serious as you take your seat at the other side of the desk, leaning forward a bit. “Alright. Sorry, I almost forgot how stressful dealing with the folks back home can be for you. Sorry to use you as a conduit for diplomacy like this, but you’re my only avenue of communication with Farisi.”
She gives a small sigh and shakes her head. “I was caused no stress by your simple request. I can see that my assistance was for the best. Perhaps another time, I shall tell you the tale of why thoughts of my homeland cause the heart to ail. But for now the matter of hoof presides. You will be surrounded soon by strangers on all sides. I simply wished to speak with you, friend to friend, with such a crucial moment around the bend. You have been quite a busy creature, i cannot help but worry that you may endanger your health with such an awful hurry.”
You smile a bit wider and shake your head with a small chuckle. “Awe, c’mon now Zecora, you know I like to live fast and eat uh…nevermind, serious, I almost forgot. Anyway yeah, things are fine! Sure it’s been a bit of a hustle getting things together on such short notice, but everyone else is working just as hard as I am, a lot of them even harder. It wouldn’t be right for me as a leader to just sit back and rest while I know everyone else is out here working their various rear anatomical segments off to make this happen.”
She smiles at this and slowly nods. “Your attitude is noble, befitting your rule. You once more prove to be quite wise…for a fool.” She says, grinning as she gestures to a teapot next to her, still steaming pleasantly. “But even kings need a bit of rest. Why not have tea with a friend and get it all off of your chest?” She says as she prepares a cup for you the way you enjoy it, extra cream, minimal sugar, as strong as it’ll brew.
You smile a bit wider, stifling another yawn and nodding. “Heh, yeah yeah, sure. I guess a bit of caffeine couldn’t hurt.” you say, taking your cup and sipping at it, preparing to spill well, the tea.
But before you can start Gushing over Basehead Gary’s amazing work on your throne room mural, you begin to feel rather…tired, sleepy even. That sly bitch.
“...My dick better have a lipstick ring when I wake u-” Is all you manage to utter as you succumb to being roofied by the little striped horse across from you, not even able to fully claim the contentment of getting the last word as the bedtime blend does it’s handiwork.
Zecora simply chuckles as she gets out of her seat and throws your body over her back, trotting you back to your bedchambers to allow you a well earned rest. “A tempting proposal, but no, not yet. The mares of the plains you'll find, are harder to get.”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Okay, existential screaming aside, there is your update, I hope you are happy with it lmao. All of my current incomplete projects, unless I have specified otherwise explicitly are still alive. I just really haven't had a lot of time or drive to write since I started working my new job.
That being said, I *am* trying to get back in the habit, and if you would like updates on in-the- works chapters and new stories and the like, I do have a Discord Server Where I offer early access to work-in-progress chapters after the completion of the first 500 words, and you can pester me there about it directly if you dare >:3.
Now if you will excuse me, I have several other long pending updates to see to, so get back in line 
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Bwahahahhaha
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Glad to see this story back in action, and even more glad to hear you are doing mostly well.
Lipstick ring? *Snort*
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Yeah bro, I told y'all. I just wasn't ready to rock. Updates will come when they are supposed to ^^.
Hey an update! Anon rides again!
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Yee fuckin haw
Just seeing this update made my day. Thank you.
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Happy to help fam, have a good one!
OMG IT GOT AN UPDATE
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Yes
I ship the twink griff with Anon, I don't care for any of your objections!
Could be worse. Zecora couldve used that small tree with a sign nailed to it labled Anasthesia.
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Lol, fair enough. Who doesn't enjoy some nice juicy chicken thighs
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The pun about being smacked with her wood that would have followed just wasn't worth the eye roll. >:3
please fix misspelling thanks in advance
Bona dea! Good to see this back on its mildly deranged bullshit. Hilarious as always.
Ahh Meta Jokes.
Tasteful meta jokes actually.
What wizardry is this?!
Calling it now...Annoynus is putting together a alliance to intimate the Equestrians into recognizing their respective kingdoms.
Possibly through a trading war. Possibly through threat of a actual one.
Real flattering right there Zecora.
Ha jokes on you! I don't drink tea! Especially with strange Zebras!
So you're saying there is a chance?
oh hey this is back
that's good
sure hope we get to see the next chapter of this sooner as opposed to later
*Jumps through the wall like the koolaid man and a cartoon character
*Silently reads chapter with the facial features of a comically aggressive nature.
*pensively reads authors note.
*I use cartoon logic to have the background around me move despite standing perfectly still.
*Slides to the back of the line
*Noms cake via nibbles
*Aggressively waiting intensifies
p.s. rip cnn shows
Eh some anon shenanigans! Glad to see the update mate!
nice, that was good, its got me on the edge of my seat waiting for what anons big funni plan is.
also new story of mine coming out tomorrow, check up if you wanna.
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hey, the funni comes out tomarrow, sorry for the 2 week wait.
Like injecting funny directly into my veins, especially that last couple of lines
Whenever the next one comes is whenever it comes, but it's worth the wait
Zecora, never change....
What a damn reward after slamming 2 exams... on to the last 3
Awesome.~
-Rub
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Why is everyone giving Satan the thumbs down?
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I don't Fuckin Know.
The Dogfathers... are the Diamond Dogs Italians??
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My theory? It’s generally considered poor form to spam advertising for your own story in the comments of someone else’s.
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OH fair enough. I see that so much I just pay attention to the stuff that's actually related to what I'm reading.
Is the author perhaps of "Deutschland/Österreich/Schweiz"origin for using the words "Aufpasser" and "Beobachter"?
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Nah, I'm a cheeseburger person fam, just thought the titles were appropriate ^^
Hey man, I can't wait for an update on this story, lemme know when we're gettin another chapter if ya can, this is so damn enjoyable to read XD
I can’t wait to see what kind of repugnant tomfoolery anon is going to dispense
I really enjoy this series
More please, I refuse to let this story die, if it does I'll throw celestia at you after coverin ya in cake XD
Please, tell me this story is alive...
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yes, i am sadly caught up in paid work for the time being.
Anyone else really want to see the great art of Basehead Gary?
Moar
My lord the people are ravenous for more content I fear a revolution if it does not come
More more more
And here we wait, waiting for the next installment of Anon fucking with Equestrian royalty.
love it so far
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"Get your pitchforks here! Torches for sale! Don't miss the revolution!"
Not YET she said, Anon might still have a chance lads.
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You got any molotovs?