• Member Since 23rd Apr, 2020
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Mockingbirb


A pony of mystery in the darkness. Or I forgot to take the lens cap off. (They/them is fine.)

T
Source

After four years in prison, human Sunset Shimmer comes back to reclaim her identity. For the pony who's been impersonating her, this might get complicated.

Also, we learn the secret TRUTH about Angry Gamer Sunset, and why so much computer software is buggy and annoying.


This is an authorized AU fanfic for C-L-Strife's story "Two Sunsets." Strife described his story as

Sunset's other self from the People Dimension is released from Jail but, The Criminal Life-Style is too hard for her to get past.

(I wanted my story to be at least partly original. That's why I carefully avoided reading most of Strife's story before composing my own fanfic of it! :twilightsmile: I only read Strife's story AFTER writing my fanfic, and I enjoyed Strife's tale even more than I had expected!)

Mildly AU.


Prereader and Technical Credits

I'm very lucky that Samey90 (fimfiction.net link) preread even part of this story. Thank you! As so often happens, I might not work out how to apply some of the more interesting and profound feedback until later stories, after this contest's deadline.
:rainbowderp:

Thank you to Mykola (offprint, fimfiction.net) for advice on an obscure topic relating to science fairs! (Specifically, Mykola checked a Google translation of a Russian language line of dialog by Twilight Sparkle.)


Contests?

This story might be an entry in a Sunset x Sunset story contest, idk. :twilightsmile:

#sunsetxsunsetshipcontest2021

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

Wow. You put your own spin on it while truly keeping the spirit of the original.
And it didn't even contain even one bigomy.

11030497

Actions don't seem motivated, surprises don't seem planted, effects don't have causes. This reads a little like "Axe Cop" if the writer knew more curse words.

...and criticcommenter lacks details that would show they'd ever seen the story.

Feel free to put them in spoiler tags.

11030493

Wow. You put your own spin on it while truly keeping the spirit of the original.
And it didn't even contain even one bigomy.

Thank you very much, I think! :twilightsmile:

11030544
I mean that I loved it, sorry that wasn't clear

I enjoyed it & think it was a good alternative version of the original. And I love the way it jumps from one scene to the other without any transitions :moustache:

Is this an official entry in the competition?

The more firepower you have, the less you need profanity

By this criterium alone, this fic is, at best, a slingshot.

11030589

>The more firepower you have, the less you need profanity

By this criterium alone, this fic is, at best, a slingshot.

I can tell you read my story (since you quoted some dialog I wrote, my Twilight's somewhat negative remark about profanity!) Thanks! :twilightsmile:
Also, I'm pretty sure I didn't MEAN for my story to kill any readers or even make them feel bad. :twilightsmile:
Also, thank you for rolling with the remark I had Twilight say! One true measure of the success of a bit of writing is when other people build upon it, so I feel very flattered. :twilightsmile:

11030579
It's in the official contest entries folder, so why not?

11030546

I mean that I loved it, sorry that wasn't clear

Thank you! :twilightsmile:

11030599
I didn’t notice lol sorry

Human Sunset studied the screen's fine print. "Huh. It auto-connects to a special server on the Internet..." A new window appeared on the screen's far right side. "The game even watches your tantrums through the webcam...and an AI scores your tantrums on how angry you get? It's like they WANT you to get angry. The game's code feeds your negative reactions into the remote server."

Does something smell... Fishy?:rainbowlaugh:

"Let's compromise!" said a woman with a sunny smile. She pulled an electric stun gun from her hip holster.

aww, a sunny smile preceding police brutality!

"Tell you what, you sniveling little cunt. If you wait ten hours to report this phone stolen, so I can use it for the rest of the day before they shut off service, I won't come back and rip your balls off."

whoa! this certainly is not the Sunset Shimmer we know!

Sunset turned to Twilight. "How are you with...improvised weaponry? Stun guns, disintegration beams, that kind of thing?"

that is indeed the right teenager to ask

Pinkie said cheerfully, "That makes perfect sense! I'm glad our Sunset almost has things under control! Or at least she's trying to plan ahead!"

ah right, the wound is to distinguish her from the other Sunset, right? good thing Pinkie knows all about genre tropes!

The motorcyclist shook her head. "What part of notorious juvenile delinquent criminal don't you understand? I learned to hotwire motorcycles before you learned how to snort hay."

wait, how does she know about the horse thing?

Criminal Sunset chuckled. "You don't like to say 'don't FUCK with me?'"

that would not be fitting for a Y7-rated show, now would it?

Sunset and Twilight shared a motorcycle, Twilight riding behind her girlfriend. Beside them, delinquent Sunset drove Principal Celestia's car.

good choice

Inside the warehouse, three young women with only minor, vestigal gills and fins sat around a table, gloating over their evil plan.

aww i totally forgot the Sirens were in this!

"Would the two of you shut up?" Adagio screeched. She pulled a cut-down AK-47 out of her cleavage.

that is, uh, quite the cleavage

Silently, inside her own head, Twilight imagined whole new combinations of vulgarities and profanities she'd never before tried. She said to herself: Well, there went my big chance. I totally blew it. Now I'll NEVER have two Sunsets at the same time, and be able to say, 'Now kiss each other!' and make them do it.

rip

Twilight melted. She thought, This Sunset's pretty good all by herself.

yeah, not too bad for Sci-Twi here!

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