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A puppeteer knows all about strings, especially the ones that tug at ponies’ hearts. And Gambeto, the King of Puppeteers could easily see the forces of division pulling ponies appart and the magic of friendship being abandoned. It was all so sad, but what could a simple, powerless entertainer of foals like him do?
Artwork by Dafaddah and Nevina. Editing also by Nevina. Mistakes by yours truly.
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Your world building is kinda nice but a little shallow. Characters are just there but Gamb is fleshed out. Story doesn't really go anywhere other than him not losing hope. What kind of king is this puppeteer? People better than me could pick apart this in a less dumb manner. They could stick the knife in and twist it. Every element here is flawed. Still, I'll give you thumbs up and snot comment because everything works. This is more along the lines of small bravery instead of big bravery. Baby steps lead to adult strides. The nature of true bravery is to fight though the fear and I'm getting this vib from Gamb.
Flawed, yet it works. Why? Because? You stuck your head out, put your nose to the grindstone and wrote something that I think was uncomfortable. Or it could be rushed and I am wrong? No, hell no. Can sense the fear from the character. The slow creeping dread as everything slowly falls apart around him. The meekness infecting him. His acceptance of fate. Until someone with a little bravery who was a afraid reached out and said "Hi!" and "Thank you!" and he decide to kick fate in the face! Kinda. Not perfect but it works like anything and nothing is perfect to begin with.
Am just pulling these words out of my ass. Still... I'd give you the prize for Bravery.
11033100
Thanks for commenting, and you hit the nail bang-on the head: this was uncomfortable to write, but the point of this story is Gambeto’s increasing discomfort into being forced to recognize his own lack lack courage in facing things that have gone wrong in his own society.
You’re right that I also kept the characterizations of the other ponies quite shallow, as I wanted the readers’ focus to be on Gambeto’s moral journey and decision. I hope other readers will also give me feedback on how well or poorly they think this worked out.
11033125 You are welcome and I must go now! AWAY!
The biggest question with G5 is how we got from the Golden Age of Twilight to three hyper-isolated towns. This presents an all-too-believable answer. It wasn't some grand catastrophe or act of villainous malice. It was just time and societal rot, distrust festering in the cracks and reaching out when it spotted an opportunity. (There is still the question of why the alicorns are referred to in the past tense, but that's outside the scope of the story.)
There's a lovely irony in Gambetto being a puppeteer. He himself hangs on strings of public opinion, and one performance of the old stories won't be enough to keep the crowds from making him dance to their tune. It's that or starve, after all. And while Gambetto is inspired to stay true to the old stories, we know what the world is like by the time Izzy comes to Maretime Bay.
The characterization was shallow at times, yes, but given that the perspective character is just passing through town, it doesn't come as a surprise. He never gets the chance to know his audience on a deeper level, and even the Apples are just an easier crowd than the one he performed for earlier. This is a well-executed quiet tragedy, capturing one moment in the slow fall of a civilization. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.
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Thanks for the great feedback! This is one of those stories that was born of a thought that wouldn’t leave me in peace after I had seen the movie. And I like your description of it quite well: it is indeed a quiet tragedy, but a tragedy nonetheless.
I am so, so sorry, but I'm afraid I have to disqualify this one. It runs afoul of one of the contest rules.
Oh snap! I should have paid more attention to the rules. I’ll remove the references to the contest from the story, and the story from the contest folder.
Thank you for writing. :)
I’m looking throughout your stories, and this one is another very solid hit!
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I’m so glad you liked it!