She/Her | 19 | FanFic Reader | Dyslexia is my biggest weakness.
You've been having a rough couple of weeks full of losses, anxiety, and mental health. Pinkie Pie noticed this and invited you a party to bring you your spirits in which you decided to stay overnight after the party.
(6/21/2022 Fixed some spelling and grammar mistakes)
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I agree that it could use some tender loving care, but it's not a bad read. There were some typos, missing punctuation, and odd capitalisation or lack thereof, but compared to the average story on this site, the grammar and spelling were pretty solid. However, when you revise it, pay attetion to how this story is formatted. There are some redundant spaces between paragraphs, and the paragraphs themselves are rather hard on the eyes, given how large the blocks of text are.
You might also benefit from changing it around a bit and turning Pinkie's line into actual dialogue accompanied by dialogue tags and actions beats. (You already have one in the story, the *Sigh*. However, remember that asterisks are not used in prose this way. You should instead use a whole sentence to convey that Pinkie sighed.) Specifying Pinkie's tone and describing the actions she did while speaking will further help improve this story's pacing as well as atmosphere, making it a bit more realistic and lively, not to speak about the fact that it'll give the audience enough time to grasp her words.
11095682
Thank you for giving it a read! I wouldn't consider myself to be the best writer. Especially since I have dyslexia. I'm still trying my best to improve my writing and the best way is actually by having people give constructive criticism. Anyways after you mentioned it I do agree the formatting was a bit all over the place so it might've been best to reves it a bit more before releasing it but just the fact you read it and gave me constructive criticism means a lot to me!
11098564
I’m glad I could help a bit. When I started writing, a lot of it was trial-and-error for me, so I’m now trying to give the support I myself needed back then.
And definitely keep this mindsetof yours! It’s great that you strive to improve and take criticism to heart. And yes, while dyslexia may pose an extra challenge, I’m sure you can overcome it.
Nice story
Would you mind if i used this story for my YouTube channel?
11189953
Sure as long if you credit me!
11191186
Of course (:
11191186
I know it's been a bit but I finally have the video finished and ready to be uploaded! I'll send you a link if you would like, I just thought I'd let you know (: