Where The Wine Turns To Woe
Princess Twilight Sparkle, Sovereign Monarch of Equestria, had a headache.
No, headache wasn’t the right term to describe how she was currently feeling. Headache was far too generic, far too...minor. Her head felt like someone - Discord perhaps - had taken up residence inside and was currently playing a very energetic drum solo.
After some groaning, she carefully started to open her eyes, if only to see exactly where she was.
The frescoes on the ceiling took a moment to burrow through the thick fog that was curling around her brain, but she finally realized why they were familiar.
Oh, good. I’m on my back in Celestia’s study. Well, my study now.
Twilight was still adjusting to thinking of things as ‘hers’, even if the Palace itself was technically held in a trust. As Celestia had told her, that was mostly a technicality for tax purposes anyway.
As her body continued to wake up, she slowly opened her mouth, running her tongue over her teeth. Her tongue felt thick and furred, and her teeth felt...well, she clearly hadn’t brushed before passing out last night.
Swallowing, she called out, “Is anyone else in here?”
There was a faint moan in reply, somewhere to her right. Twilight gently turned her head, trying to see where it had come from. The slow waving of a starry blue mane clued her in.
“Luna? You alive?”
Something approaching a reply emanated from the area where Luna’s head most likely was. It sounded like a cross between a dying animal and a field mouse, but it was definitely intentional.
Satisfied, Twilight slowly turned her head to the other side. Her eyes were still swimming somewhat from the migraine, so it took her a moment to distinguish the white of Celestia’s form from the alabaster walls, but she managed it.
“Princess Celestia?” she croaked.
“Mmm...you should probably raise the sun soon,” came the quiet - yet strained - reply.
With this headache? Not likely. But Twilight refused to disappoint her mentor, even if it killed her, and so she focused, grabbing the sun with her magic and dragging it to the correct position to start the new day.
Sunlight blasted through the windows of the study, eliciting more groans and moans from the mares inside.
“What the hay did you do that for?” a new voice called out.
Twilight, squinting against the sun, raised her neck and head, looking between her legs to see a pink Alicorn sitting upright, her back pressed against the wall.
“Cadance? What...what are you doing here?”
Cadance snickered. “Well, you wanted me here for the party last night, remember?”
Twilight struggled to remember. Unsurprisingly, it was difficult to do so with a brain still coping with the effects of too much alcohol, but her neurons began to piece together a few things. Celestia and Luna had dropped by the night before, already quite tipsy after hitting several bars in Canterlot. Twilight had been quite stressed from her day, and it hadn’t taken much convincing on the part of the sisters to get her to order that several cases of wine be brought up from the cellars.
As Twilight rolled over onto her stomach, her legs bumped into several empty wine bottles, sending them rolling across the stone floor.
“By me," she muttered. "Just how many bottles did we drink last night?”
“Forty-eight,” Cadance replied quickly. “You must have really needed to let off some stress, Princess, because you drank sixteen all by yourself.”
Twilight felt a hint of heat creep into her cheeks. Taking a moment to gather what strength she could manage, she staggered to her hooves, closing her eyes to try and hold back the wave of nausea that washed over her.
The attempt was unsuccessful. She at least managed to teleport near the toilet, close enough that most of the vomit made it to its intended destination. Once her stomach stopped doing flips, she magicked the rest into the bowl, not wanting the maids to see the results of her indiscretion. She also took the time to swallow a few pills, if only to start to make a dent in her migraine.
Returning to the study, she finally took stock of her surroundings. The room was a mess; curtains were torn down, paintings hung askew on the walls, the couches had been shoved around, and it appeared that they’d tried to build a pillow fort in one corner at some point.
She looked over at Cadance, who was still sitting against the wall. Twilight saw she had a pillow beneath her and behind her, which looked quite comfortable, and made Twilight long for her own bed upstairs. But there was something that was bothering her.
“Why don’t you look like you’d rather be dead right now?" she asked, frowning. "You’re not a morning pony, especially after you’ve been drinking.”
“Some of us hold our liquor better than others,” Cadance replied. “You’re too much of a goody-four-hooves, Princess. You should cut loose more, it was fun seeing you like that last night.”
Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “I...did anything embarrassing happen last night?”
“That depends on what you consider embarrassing,” Cadance replied. “If I had to pick one, it was probably when Celestia sprayed her chest with whipped cream and you started licking it off.”
Twilight felt her knees get weak. “Oh no…”
Cadance held a straight face for several seconds more before cracking, a cackling noise coming from her mouth. “Oh, I really had you going there, didn’t I?”
“Not funny,” Twilight mumbled.
“She’d probably let you do that,” Luna mumbled. “If you asked nicely and got her good and drunk first.”
“No comment,” Celestia said, raising her head up from the floor. She twisted her neck, popping several vertebrae and ending with a satisfied look on her face. “Aah...that’s better.”
“Sister always handled her liquor better than us,” Luna said, extending her wings to stretch. “That does make her a great companion for bar crawling, but it also means you have to be prepared for the aftermath of her big bottom smashing into things.”
“We didn’t break anything, Luna,” Celestia retorted, casting a quick glance about the study as if to reassure herself of that fact. “Just have to put things back in their place.”
“Speaking of things that need to go back in their place…” Twilight said, now glaring at Cadance with distaste.
Cadance looked back at her. “What?”
“Drop the act, Chrysalis,” Twilight replied. “I remember now.”
‘Cadance’ rolled her eyes, and with a burst of green magic, the form of Queen Chrysalis was revealed.
“Happy now?” she demanded. “We had such a good time last night, and now it’s ‘back to the stone with you’, is it? Fine. See if I agree to this next time you decide you're lonely."
She pulled a cigarette from somewhere, lighting it with her horn before putting it in her mouth. After a deep breath, she pulled it away, exhaling the smoke with a pleasured sigh before returning to muttering about not being appreciated.
“Sister...why exactly did we let her out?” Luna asked.
“We wanted the four of us, but Cadance doesn’t go out bar crawling anymore,” Celestia said, shrugging. “And since Chrysalis has played her before, well…”
“I think it was my idea,” Twilight admitted.
The four mares stared at each other.
“So, shall we do this again next week?” Celestia asked.
“Certainly,” Luna replied.
“I’m game,” Chrysalis added.
“I...no!” Twilight exclaimed. “I can’t be seen like this, I have to act proper! What will ponies think?”
“You are outvoted,” Luna said. “Now, how about brunch? There is a lovely spot down on Platinum Boulevard I want to try.”
Chrysalis got to her hooves. “So long as one of you is paying. Being a deposed queen isn't exactly profitable.”
Celestia looked at Twilight. “You coming?”
“...fine.”
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Very amusing. I like the ending reveal as well, bravo.
Damn, those alicorns don't mess around! At least someone was keeping track.
This really captures the feeling. I should know, because I'm hungonver right now. Can't get enough of those alicorns hanging out, and the twist at the end was inspired. Good stuff!
Why do I get he feeling Candace is going to suddenly a lot of crazy rumors about “her” drunken shenanigans
Nice bit of crack. Never been drunk, but I hate getting up in the morning.
Liked that twist at the one. Didn't see it coming!
I know there was something I forgot about. Reading this story when I had time after I saw it drop earlier. I wasn't disappointed.
I love the idea of reforming chrysalis by getting drunk with her lmao
Thank you very much. This was an extremely enjoyable read. Not to short not to long. And best of all a great fun and unexpected twist at the end there.
Damn you got me there. 10/10 just for that.
10984438
I suggest trying to keep it that way, some light drinking is fine but getting drunk bloody sucks. Trust me on that one, I speak from experience.
My take on unicorn - alicorn alcoholism: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/64816/1/the-word/the-word
There's this strange dichotomy where Cadance is portrayed as either the wildest or the most responsible of the four Alicorns, and I'm going to be honest, I'm into it.
The twist brings this to sublime
Nothing like a good hangover to make you feel alive
Hee hee hee! I needed a good giggle. Thanks! :D
10984930
No worries, I literally almost never drink. Maybe I'll have one at a social gathering every month or so.
I'm also caffeine-independent. Never needed coffee or energy drinks, never plan to start.
This is just so damn adorable and funny as heck with all "four" princesses talking about their fun little escapades! All enjoyment and smiles; err well, excluding the hangover! Hope ya didn't mind, but I couldn't resist making a reading of this heavenly fic of yours!
Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/SOGLaU-Aa04
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
10985192
Those aren't necessarily incompatible
I feel like this is the way to redeem Chrysalis. Show her that they know how to have fun. And then she can laugh at them when they're hungover. Like...I can totally see this happening.
This was amazing and totally deserves to be featured.
10984438
Serious hangovers are really, really unpleasant. You're doing well avoiding them!
Enjoyable bit of fun, and good foreshadowing. Cadence insisting on calling her sister-in-law “Princess” is more than a little suspicious. Thank you for it.
I'd like to imagine they were listening to "Living on My Own" by Freddie Mercury while getting drunk the night before.
That's a pretty good use for Chrysalis there.
Hell. To. The. Fuck. Yes.
Liked. Commented. Subscribed.
If I had a thousand years on the moon I could not describe just how much I adore everything about this fic.
Wonderful work Graymane, absolutely fanstastic.
Where, uh, where can I find the 'quel's? 👀
10986098
She's a creature that has fed on love for a thousand years.
All she needs is to be shown that she can still experience it, even after all she's done.
10985192
There takes a certain kind of mare to start dating the captain of the royal guard behind the backs of her co-ruler and his own sister, who she has a caring relationship with.
And there's changes that motherhood introduces to a mare's person in terms of their capacity to do wild things.
Both sides are equally apt to be present and when written well, I love each of them.
I love this story lol
(p.s. im very sorry about your also liked section I swear it wasn't my fault)
ah, simple dumb fun
good fic
as an aside, it feels like a cracky start to a Chrysalis redemption fic
Nicely played!
Wow. Definitely one of my favorites on this site; I loved this.
oh by Luna's blessed moon this gave me the giggles!
Hey they can't out vote Twilight, but by the same token Celestia and Luna are retired an can drink as much as they like now!
That's a lot of booze! Heh!
Liked it, short, straight to the point, and funny. A 10-minute remix of MLP with The Hangover.
10988382
I don't think they dated behind Tia's back. Shining isn't that much older than Twi, so how did he manage to climb the ranks into such a prestigious position so quickly? Rather convenient if you consider that, at least in literature, being granted knighthood is often the only way for someone not born into nobility if they wanted to marry a noble, let alone a member of the royal family. As captain of their ruler's personal guard he is practically the knight (in Shining Armor ^^) in the eyes of the public . Coincidence...or Momlestia pulling strings for the sake of her surrogate daughter's love life ...
And as for Cadi vanishing from Twilight's life so suddenly and completely ... I would assume that someone pointed out that it wasn't wise for a princess of EQ to keep visiting the home of a young soldier to foalsit his sister, especially when that filly spent most of her time at school or with Celestia, or the library etc., had two healthy parents and probably had never needed a foalsitter to begin with.
11246902
The background of their relationship is really, really split between what can be assumed from the show and what we see in the comics. It's best if those two ponds aren't brought near eachother, as only much headache awaits down that road.
11251360
I gotta admit, my memory of Cadi's backstory and their early relationship in idw canon is quite blurry. Their writers have played it rather fast and loose sometimes, too much so for me to really care about the comics at the time.
So what I wrote is merely a headcanon I refer to unless a fan fic paints a different picture.
But if you say you want to keep fanon, idw-canon and any kind of deductive claims cleanly separated from the main canon,
then you should stick to your own rules ^^. Whether Celestia only learned of their relationship when they asked her to host the wedding or had been in the know all along, there's no indication either way in the actual show.
But you are right in that both her BBBFF and her sisterly friend kept this secret from Twi even when she was old and smart enough to deal with such a secret appropriately. That was pretty messed up... and it's the tamest interpretation of Cadi's actions.
I always try not to hold the bad implications against Cadance as a character because it's just the result of the terrible writing in those episodes,
but I wouldn't have minded if Twi had stopped for a moment to bitchslap the daylights out of her before literally saving her life and her wedding/marriage.
It's always entertaining to read about a Cadance who's a bit more badass than the sorry excuse for an alicorn she is in the main canon,
but Twily deliberately messing with her is even better. This story has both. The fun hath been doubled!
I love that this is how they reform chrysalis not through straight up friendship but by going on bad crawls getting her to chill out