• Member Since 10th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 25th, 2018

KendallBunny


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Rainbow Dash finally achieves her lifelong dream, but as time passes, she starts to spend less and less time with her friends. After leaving them in the dust, how will her Loyalty ever be attained again?

I'm not much for writing Fanfics, this is my first shot at one. Advice is encouraged.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 13 )

This story is nice, but it seems rushed, and the plot needs a bit of work. Like how Fleetfoot knew Rainbow had perfected her moves to join, who would have told them that Rainbow was practicing. And that speed trick that only Rainbow can do, it's called the "Sonic Rainboom". I'm not being critical, but this can be a good story when it's taken at the right speed.

...............eh i dont know. I'm interested, but the pacing is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too fast. :applejackunsure: ya need details my friend. ill favorite this, but you need to focus on those two things. I believe in you :twilightsmile:

I enjoyed this very much! Tracking to see how the story unfolds and I look forward to new chapters being published. Good luck! :twilightsmile:

1246448
Thanks for the advice! I'll be sure to add some stuff in the next chapters that answer those questions :)

1246453
Thanks for the favorite! I'll work on my pacing and details from now on :P

1246563
I'm glad you enjoyed it, thanks for the good luck :D

A new chapter has been released, finally! This one is really short, sadly, but is the train ride back to Ponyville. In this chapter I paid as much attention as I could to slowing the pace down and having Dash reflect on her thoughts. I hope you enjoy it!

You're doing great!:rainbowlaugh: Keep on going!

Not bad...... :trixieshiftright: don't give up. And remember what I said before. One last thing:

She hopped out of her bunk and headed into the main car

Car?

1382498
Yeah, the different sections of a train are called cars :3

New chapter! Since the last chapter was so short, this one is much longer! I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Oh yaay~

Liking this defs, can't wait for more!

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