• Member Since 15th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Freewing Alchemist P


Hard worikng Writer. Likes to read stories and Impove his skills. Has a strange sences of humor, don't hold it against me.

Comments ( 12 )

great wind up the pay off was kind of a let down

Kinda feels like it ends too quickly, theres not much build up, she just kinda snaps into it


I’d work to help the pacing as it just feels a little too short

11105146 OK, what do you suggest?
I am open to suggestion. I can admit I messed up but I got stuck.

the story is nice but... do you think this story deserves to be tagged dark if the "victim" follows willingly to the hypnosis?

you should really invest in a proofreader. I had to stop because all of the bad spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

Pretty good first chapter, enjoyed it quite a bit!

This is a very unique story, and one I'd be willing to follow if it continues into a series.

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