Defranan The Cursed World

by watbebe

The End

After some of the Guards regained consciousness everypony returned to Canterlot.
After securing Earth Twilight shut the gate forever, and did so aswell on the portal for Defranan.
After that Luna cleansed Celestia of her evil.
"I am so sorry of everything I have done to you, can you forgive me?",
"Ofcourse we can" Luna and Twilight said
"It wasn't really you doing that" Twilight said.
"Thank you Twilight" Celestia said.

Comments

[Scribblestick]

Time to review!

1) Wall of text. Put an extra space between each paragraph or indent. It makes it a whole lot easier to read.

2) Grammar. Capitalize the word "I" and the first word of each sentence. If you change speakers, start a new paragraph. Learn the difference between possessives (pony's) and plurals (ponies). It doesn't make the story unreadable, but it does hurt it.

3) Slow down and build your characters. Show us what they're thinking and feeling. Right now, they're just doing things.

Hope that helps!

[watbebe]

updated all the text, should be way better to read now :P